No Longer Alone
by Kirurgii
Summary: Alice Cullen and her brothers are new in Forks. Soon Alice falls in love with her quiet and mysterious classmate, Jasper Whitlock. All human.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Unlike my brothers, Emmett and Edward, I was happy about our move to Forks, Washington. My mother, Esme Cullen wanted to move to a small town because she thought that it would be safer for us, kids. And as my father really loved my mom, here we are in our new home.

Our move was especially hard for Emmett, he had to start his senior year in a new school with new kids and he had to leave his girlfriend behind. They broke up before our move because neither of them believed in a long distance relationship. I knew it wasn't going to last, she just wasn't the One for him. Emmett is a year older than me and Edward, he is tall and very muscular, he used to play football in our old school. He looks very intimidating with his huge frame, but really he is just a big softy. He has short dark hair and blue eyes just like our father, Carlisle and nice dimples when he smiles which is quite often considering that he is a real joker. In general he is a very happy person just like I am.

Edward and I are 17 years old and we are twins, Of course at first glance no one would believe that as we look nothing alike, as a matter of fact we rather look complete opposite of each other. Edward is tall and lanky; his hair is a weird shade of bronze that is a little too long to be manageable. He has a rather introvert personality, he likes reading and listening to music, it is his passion. He has a lot of music in every genre and from every era possible. He can play the guitar and the piano, and he can compose music as well. Girls usually find him very attractive; they always throw themselves at him at every turn which annoys the hell out of him. He doesn't date much and Emmett just loves to tease him about it, but Edward always says that he wants to find someone who is interesting and natural (he really hates fake girls). Just like me, he is a hopeless romantic and waiting for the One.

As I mentioned I'm Edward's polar opposite. I'm very short and I have short black hair I like it that way because with short hair it is easier to create more styles. The only thing that Edward and I have in common is our green eyes which we inherited from our mom. My personality is more like Emmett's, I'm very outgoing and enthusiastic. Despite our differences Edward and I share a special bond as twins usually do. We are much attuned to each others feelings and moods, and we can communicate without words. This irritates the hell out of Emmett. I love fashion very much, I try to follow the latest trends, but I like to spice things up with my unique style. I have a lot of clothes, shoes and cute accessories, and I like going on shopping trips. With a hobby like this I'm very grateful that my dad is very successful doctor who can afford my little extravagance. I never had a boyfriend back home because none of the guys caught my attention. However, I have a very good feeling of Forks.

Our new house was really huge and in a beautiful setting right on the edge of the forest. It was a little way out of the town, but it was private and comfortable for all of our cars. It was a tradition in our family when we turned 16 we all got our first cars, and now everybody has their own car. Emmett has a jeep, Edward has a silver Volvo and I have a pretty yellow Porsche, and Mom and Dad have a black Mercedes. We keep all the cars in the garage right next to the house.

The house has three storeys with every necessary equipment that we need. On the first floor there is the spacious living room, the kitchen and Dad's library and study. On the second and the third floor are the bedrooms. My parents' and mine are on the second floor and the boys' are the third. Also there was a gym for Emmett and a music room for Edward. I really like my room, finally I have my own bathroom all to myself. It was a nightmare when I had to share it with Emmett. But the best part of the room, beside the awesome view, is a huge walk-in closet. Finally, all of my clothes can have their proper places. Now the organization of the closet requires some thinking, what system should I use? Should I put in the clothes according to their labels, their color or personal preference? I think I spent all Saturday figuring it out, but finally I decided that I organize it according to designer labels and within that according to personal preference. Just as I finished admiring my work, I heard a knock on the door.

"Come in!" I called out. It was my mom, Esme.

"Alice, honey, if you finished here could you come down to help me?" She asked.

"Sure, I'll be down in a minute." I said and mom left. I took one last look of the room and hurried downstairs. I met my mom in the kitchen.

"So what can I help?" I figured I had to wash some salad or help with the table because I was a complete disaster in the kitchen. Once I tried to surprise Dad with a home made cake for his birthday, and I ended up with a barely identifiable and slightly burnt dollop. So from then on Mom makes it a rule that I can't be in the kitchen by myself.

"You just go ahead and the set the table. Then go upstairs and tell your brothers that dinner is ready and Dad would be home any minute." She ordered.

I was surprised. "Dad isn't at home?" I asked. I must have been pretty engrossed in the organization of my closet to not have noticed that he was gone.

"No. He had to go to the hospital to arrange the papers and to have a quick tour." Mom answered. Oh, right I forgot. You see our move is a bit oddly timed. We wanted to arrive in time for the start of school which was two weeks ago, but there were some problems with Dad's transfer papers and the house had its own problems, too. Mom is an interior designer and she designed every single detail of this house, but she didn't have time to supervise the execution as well, and they messed up the color scheme of the living room. So as a result Dad is two weeks late from work and we missed the start of school.

So after setting the table I went upstairs to look for my brothers. Edward was easy to located, judging from the sound of music, he was in his room listening to some classical music. I went into the room without knocking.

"Hey, Edward. Dinner's ready and Dad will be home soon." I announced.

"Ok, I will be down in a minute."

"Do you know where Emmett is?" I asked because I didn't want to tour the whole house looking for him. I mean he can be anywhere waiting to scare me half to death. That's one of his favorite pastimes: unexpectedly jumping at people. Edward must have read the expression on my face because he said "Yes, he is in the game room in the basement. If you want I can go and tell him about the dinner, but I think he has already smelled the food."

"Ok, thanks."

So we want downstairs together and indeed Emmett was already seated at the table waiting. Not a minute later Dad arrived. He greeted us and went to wash his hands. The dinner went as usual Mom and Dad talked about the hospital while Emmett amused us all.

The rest of the weekend went by quickly, and soon we were at the parking lot of Forks High School. We arrived in Edward's Volvo since that was the least conspicuous of our cars. We were a bit early in order to get our schedules, and I hoped I had some classes with Edward. We got our papers at the office, and the secretary, Mrs. Cope was a little flustered by both Emmett and Edward. Well, that's an interesting start! I had all but two classes with Edward. The second class is English for me and it's gym for him, and I have gym in 4th period when Edward has English. As Emmett had Biology first period we parted ways, and Edward and I started for first period History. While we had been in the office students started to arrive and now they all stared at us, the new kids. It didn't bothered me that much, I carefully designed today's outfit so I knew I looked great. However, I could feel Edward's discomfort when some girls all but stared at him open-mouthed. Near the building a blond guy approached us, I guess he was one of the brave ones.

"Hello. I'm Mike Newton. You must be the new students we were waiting." He greeted us with a smile.

"Hi. My name is Alice and this is my twin brother, Edward." I said when I saw that Edward wasn't going to say anything.

"Wow, twins. That's cool!" was Mike's genius reply. "Wait, aren't you supposed to look alike?"

"We are not identical twins." Edward said annoyed.

"Oh, it's cool. So where are you from?" He asked both of us, but he was looking at me kind of silly. I started to think there was something wrong with him, but after a while he shook himself and acted normal.

"We moved here from Alaska." I replied.

"Then Forks isn't that much of a change. So what's your first class?" He asked. When I said that we both had History his face fell a little. I guess he wanted to be alone with me as he had that class, too. So we went to class accompanied by the ever chatting Mike Newton.

So this was the pattern for the rest of the day, everyone asking us about being twins and about our moving. Honestly, these people should go out more often. The only normal person I met was Bella in English. When I got to class I was assigned to sit next to a girl with long brown hair who was looking down at her book. I sat down and when she hadn't even raised her head I decided that I should get over with it and I introduced myself.

"Hello. I'm Alice Cullen."

"Um… Hi. I'm Bella Swan." She said after a little while and she sounded surprised. Well, Bella was really beautiful in a natural way, she was a classical beauty, she just should have a little more fashion sense to bring it out more. I mean come on what is with that shirt; it hurt just to look at it. Anyway, we started to talk or I should say that I talked most of the time as Bella was shy, but in the end she invited me and my brothers to sit with her and her friend, Rosalie at lunch. So when the bell rang Edward and I started to walk to the cafeteria.

"Alice, are you sure that these girls are normal?" Edward asked. "Because I've already met some pretty annoying girls here. They are rather … bold."

"Yes, relax. Bella and Rosalie are fine." I said and he just cocked one eyebrow. "Ok, fine, I only met Bella, but I can't imagine her being friends with people like that. You are going to like her. Trust me." I said.

We went inside and started to get our lunch. Soon I spotted Bella sitting at a table with another girl. Oh, wow, that girl was really gorgeous. Although she was sitting I could tell she had a great figure and even her clothes were cool. So she wasn't as fashion challenged as Bella. When we arrived to their table Bella introduced us.

"Oh, hi Alice. This is my friend Rosalie Hale. Rosalie this is Alice Cullen whom I have already told you about." Bella said. Ok, up close Rosalie was even more beautiful. She had long blond hair, ice blue eyes and a clear complexion with just a touch of makeup. There must be something in the air here because Bella had the same clear skin. After pleasantries were exchanged and we sat down I introduced Edward.

"Bella, Rosalie this is my twin brother, Edward." He greeted them, but he seemed to be unable to tear his eyes from Bella who blushed at his intense gaze. That was interesting and very unlike Edward. However, the moment was broken by Emmett booming voice from behind us.

"Rosie, so nice of you to save a seat for me." With that Emmett sat down right next to Rosalie.

"Wait, you two know each other?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah, we have a couple of classes together, right, Rosie?" Said Emmett smirking.

Rosalie just leveled a gaze at him and said "I think I've already told you that I'm Rosalie to you."

Well, it turned out that Rosalie was a senior, too so had classes with Emmett and from the looks of it she has already got a taste of Emmett's humor. Throughout lunch Rosalie and Emmett continued their bickering while Bella, Edward and I talked. It was interesting to watch as Edward and Bella stole glances at each other. I could see that they both would make great couples. I wondered whether there was someone special here in Forks for me as well.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 2

The next day went on as usual, nothing special happened, although Mike Newton started to get on my nerves. What seemed to be nice and welcoming attitude on the first day, helping to find classrooms and introducing us to his friends, became quite annoying on the next day. I mean I knew my way around school and made new friends so I didn't need a puppy following me around all day. Emmett and Rosalie continued their unique way of communication, it wasn't quite arguing, but it wasn't normal conversation either. Edward and Bella talked more because they had Biology together and they became lab partners. I wondered who my lab partner was, apparently he was missing so I had to sit alone in class. Bella and I started to become great friends; she was really a nice person.

On Wednesday, in English we got a homework that required us working in pairs so Bella and I had to do the assignment together.

"So where can we work on this? Your place or mine?" I asked.

"Um… Well my father works the night shift this week which means he is at home sleeping." Bella said.

"Ok, then you can come over to our place." I said and then realized that it would be very useful to have Bella at our home. First, I can suggest a shopping trip to update her wardrobe, I can't show my true colors to her just yet or she will be too scared of me in the future. And second, if she stayed in our home, she could spend more time with Edward outside of school. "Yay! We'll have such a great time together! You can stay for dinner, too." I said enthusiastically.

" Er… I don't know Alice…" Bella looked a little scared at my avid suggestion. See, I told you I can't show my true colors if she gets scared of simply coming over. So I decided to use my puppy dog eyes and a little pout.

"Please, Bella. I would be so happy!" I implored.

"Ok, I'll go. But I have to call my dad first, and you should call your parents as well. I don't want to intrude on family dinner or something." She answered.

"Of course I'll do that, but you wouldn't intrude, Mom likes having people over for dinner. The more the merrier!" I said and bounced a little with excitement.

Later I called my mom, and as I knew she was ok with this arrangement. After school ended I waited for Bella in the parking lot. I soon noticed her approaching me from the direction of the gym. I noticed she was limping a bit; it didn't surprise me because although I only have known her for a couple of days, I knew she was a complete klutz. When she was close enough to hear me I asked.

"So what happened in gym this time?"

She looked up startled. "Oh, hi Alice. I didn't notice you. Have you waited for long?"

"No. I just wanted to tell you that I will ride with you. This way I can give directions because we live a little outside of the town. Or we can just follow Edward in his car." I said and waved to Edward across the parking lot signaling that he can start the car. Bella turned in the direction where I waved and when she saw Edward leaning on his car, she quickly ducked her head and blushed. Hmm… Somehow I have to get her to admit to me that she has a crush on my brother. I had a feeling it wouldn't be that easy.

When we arrived Bella was really impressed with the house both from the outside to the inside. I figured her house must be much smaller, her father was the Chief of Police and that wasn't the most lucrative of jobs. I didn't leave time for Edward and Bella to chat; I had pressing issues to discuss with her so I whisked her away to my room. The boys went down in the basement to play videogames. Bella liked my room, and wanted to start on our homework immediately, but I told her we should relax first. And in the name of relaxing I showed her my closet and started hinting at a much needed shopping trip on the upcoming weekend.

"Oh, come on Bella, we have to go. Please." I said, but when I saw that she was still stubborn I quickly changed tactics. "We can invite Rosalie as well. It will be great; we hang out and get to know each other. Or don't you want to be my friend?" I asked with a pout. That did the trick and Bella finally complied.

Not long after our discussion we started to work on the assignment. Surprisingly this time Bella was the enthusiastic one, and with her keen attention we soon finished it. Then we started an idle chat about school and the students.

"So seriously what is wrong with Mike?" I asked. "I mean if I wanted someone to follow me all day long I would get a dog."

Bella giggled. "That's just Mike. You can't really do anything with him. He used to follow me around as well."

"And what did you do to get rid of him?" I asked and was really interested in her answer.

"Well, you moved here. And he transferred his affection to you. So thanks!" She laughed and I just groaned. There had to be a solution.

"Maybe you should get a boyfriend." Bella suggested. "Anyone caught your eyes yet?"

"No, not really." I answered honestly. But finally the conversation headed in the right direction. "But speaking of which… What about you? Has anyone caught _your_ eyes?" I asked and raised my eyebrow suggestively.

"No, not really." Bella said and blushed crimson.

"Oh, come on. You are a terrible liar. Your blush says otherwise. So spill! Who is it?" I asked, but Bella was too stubborn again.

"No one!" She almost shouted while glancing toward my door. I caught her eye and decided to be blunt.

"Is it my brother? Is it Edward?" I asked.

"Alice, please. Leave it." She begged. So I decided to leave it for now, I didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

"Just so you know he likes you, too." I added as I thought it was needed to be said.

"What?" Bella asked stunned. "What makes you think that? Did he … did he say something to you?"

"No, but he is my twin brother, remember. So of course I know how he feels." I stated confidently.

"I don't know, Alice. I mean he attracted quite the following in school. He could be attracted to any one of those girls. They are prettier than me anyway." She said and the end of her sentence came out in a whisper.

"Hmm…" I said and looked at her. "You don't see yourself clearly, but with my help on our shopping trip you will believe in yourself." I said, but she just looked at me with doubt. So I continued. "Ok, so maybe girls like Jessica or Lauren throw themselves at him, it doesn't mean he is interested, too. I mean you heard as he rejected Lauren the other day." At this Bella just giggled and I looked at her confused.

"What? Don't you believe me?" I asked.

"No, no it's not that. I was just laughing at Lauren?" She said still amused.

"Lauren? Why?" I asked.

"Well, you see Lauren had this huge crush on Jasper. I thought he never would be free of her. Lauren is very um… persistent." She explained, but I was still confused.

"Who is Jasper?"

"Oh, I forgot. You haven't met him yet as he was missing school this week. Anyway, Jasper moved here last year from Texas, and since then Lauren was kind of obsessed with him even when Jasper constantly rejected her advances. So when he comes to school again, I think he will be very grateful to your brother." She answered and giggled again. Poor Jasper, I thought.

When my father arrived home we went downstairs and I introduced Bella to Mom and Dad. Throughout dinner conversation flowed easily with Edward and Bella continuing their routine of stealing glances at each other. Really, they were kind of obvious so much so that even Emmett noticed. And from his devilish smile I could tell that Edward was in for a very embarrassing evening. I started to worry a bit for Bella; she was an easy blusher at the best of times, but what could happen when Emmett wanted to be embarrassing on purpose.

"So Eddie, how do you like school so far?" He started with an easy enough question although he used Edward's most hated nickname ever.

"It's alright. I guess it is like every other high school in the country. And don't call me Eddie!" Edward answered quite calmly knowing Emmett's teasing tactics and not trying to give him more ammunition. However, Emmett was just warming up.

"Like every other school you say. Well, I think you have a bigger fan club here than you had in Alaska. Wouldn't you say so?" He asked, and I saw from the corner of my eye that Bella was blushing, no doubt remembering our earlier conversation.

"I don't know what you are talking about as you have quite a few fans as well." He said. It was true, I think that girls who didn't want Edward wanted Emmett instead. I saw as Edward was watching Bella from the corner of his eye, and then suddenly looked up at me. I gave him a smirk, letting him know that I caught him and we would talk about it later. He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Oh, I know Eddie boy, but I'm awesome. Of course the ladies want a piece of this." Emmett continued, oblivious to our silent communication, and gestured to his body.

"So even Rosalie wants you?" Edward challenged, wanting Emmett to shut up. And Rosalie was the right topic in order to do that. She was still a little antagonistic toward Emmett and he wasn't used to that. Girls usually fell for his charm pretty easily, and Rosalie was a real challenge for him. I made a mental note to ask Rosalie this weekend about what she really thinks of Emmett because it was hard to tell. I knew my brother liked her very much, and I didn't want him to get hurt if she was just playing games.

The next day at school started as any normal day would. We arrived to school and met Bella and Rosalie next to Bella's old rusty truck. After a couple of minutes of friendly chat we parted ways, and Edward and I walked to History class. Needless to stay Mike was trailing behind us, but luckily when I was with one of my brothers he was not so brave to bother me with his constant chatter. The class started as usual, but after a couple of minutes I heard the door open. I didn't look up as it was obviously just a student who couldn't get up in time for school.

"Ah, Mr. Whitlock. It's nice of you to finally join us." The teacher said.

"Sorry, Sir. It won't happen again." Came the reply in a deep voice with a strong Southern accent.

This caused me immediately look up at the new arrival. He was rather tall, but he wasn't as lanky as Edward, no this boy had nice muscles. He had sandy blond hair that fell into his eyes making it impossible to tell from this distance what color his eyes were. I watched in fascination as he started to walk toward me. I was totally mesmerized by him when finally I realized he was heading to the empty seat right in front of me. He was wearing a black leather jacket, jeans and black boots. I couldn't concentrate on the teacher anymore; all I could do was stare at the gorgeous boy in front of me. When the bell finally rang signaling the end of class, I decided it would only be polite if I introduced myself to this Mr. Whitlock. But as I approached him Edward had to go and ruin everything.

"Hey, Alice, are you alright? You seemed distracted during the whole period?" He asked concerned.

"I'm ok, don't worry. It was just a little boring." I said and quickly turned around to follow through my initial plan, but the beautiful boy was already gone.

In all of the following classes I was looking for that boy hoping I have more classes with him, but as lunch period was fast approaching I reassured myself with the fact that during lunch I definitely would see him. So naturally when the bell rang I hurried to get to the cafeteria sooner, however Edward grabbed my arm.

"Ok, Alice, what's going on with you? All day you acted really weird?" Edward asked with concern written on his face.

"It's nothing. I'm really ok, I think it's just that kind of a day today." I replied and hoped he would drop it because I really wouldn't want to confess that all day I was looking for a guy whom I only saw once. I saw Edward open his mouth to continue his inquiry, but fortunately at that moment Bella arrived and Edward was thoroughly distracted. However, lunch proved to be as futile as the rest of the classes. Where the hell was he? I couldn't have imagined him, could I? The only good thing that happened during lunch was that Rosalie agreed to my weekend shopping trip plan. We decided to spend the whole day in Port Angeles, and to pacify Bella I agreed to go the movies as well so we wouldn't spend the whole day just shopping. Although with Rosalie's help it was two to one, really. The discussion of the shopping trip lifted my spirit somewhat, but I was still thinking of that boy.

I arrived to Biology so distracted that first I haven't even noticed that someone was sitting at my table. But when I looked up I saw it was him. I quickly sat down and turned toward him to finally introduce myself before the teacher could arrive.

"Hello. I'm Alice Cullen. I just moved here with my family." I said and smiled at him. He slowly lifted his had and looked at me. _Holy shit!_ His face up close was an incredible sight. He had really dark blue eyes, long lashes and a full mouth. I was totally staring.

"Hi. I'm Jasper Whitlock." He drawled in his distinct accent. I remembered Bella had said that he had moved here from Texas so that explained the accent. When he started to turn to the front again I spoke up because I wasn't ready to give up my time with him.

"It's really nice to finally meet you. I'm your new lab partner by the way, but you've already figured that out I guess. Anyway it will be fun to finally have someone to do the assignments with. It sucked to be alone." _Jesus!_ It was total word vomit. What the hell is wrong with me? He will think I'm a total moron. Before he could say anything at my insane rambling the teacher arrived. I was grateful for the interruption as I needed time to compose myself. Throughout the whole period I was looking at Jasper studying his features. He was wearing a long-sleeved shirt, and as he was writing I noticed that he had a tattoo on the lower part of his left arm. _Holy shit!_ Can he get any more perfect? I always had a thing for tattoos though not on my own skin. However before I could study it more closely he noticed I was checking out his tattoo and quickly covered it. I looked up at him apologetically, but he just turned to the teacher again completely ignoring me. When the class ended he was up and running out of the room before I even gathered my stuff. It hurt a little, I mean I didn't want offend him or anything, he was just very distracting. I hoped it was not me that made him dash for the door so quickly.

By the time school ended I had a plan. So I was waiting for Bella by her car in the parking lot. I told Edward and Emmett that they could go home because I had plans with Bella. While I was waiting for her I noticed Jasper walking toward a motorcycle with a helmet in hand. He quickly hopped on it and rode out of the parking lot. Not soon after Bella arrived and I immediately blurted out.

"Bella! You have to tell me everything about Jasper Whitlock!"


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 3

I tried to be patient as Bella drove her ancient truck on the wet roads of the town. She said that we can go and talk at her house because her father was called in for a new case. I wondered briefly what the crime rate statistics were in a town of this size. Bella pulled in the driveway of a middle-sized house. It had two stories and looked kind of old, but it was exactly how I imagined Bella's house to be. The inside was neat and welcoming, and it had a comfortable and relaxing atmosphere. Bella took off her jacket and placed her bag under the coat-rack so I followed her example and did the same. Then Bella headed to the kitchen.

"Sorry, but I have to make dinner for my dad. But while I'm doing that we can talk." She explained then continued. "So what do you want to know about Jasper?"

"Well, whatever you can tell me about him." I answered and started to get excited to gain some kind of knowledge of the mysterious boy.

"I'm afraid that I can't tell you much. Jasper really keeps to himself." Bella said.

"But you must know something about him. What about his parents? Siblings? You know things like that." I inquired.

"Well, I really don't know much about his family. He lives with his grandfather, and as far as I know he is an only child. I know that Mr. Jackson, Jasper's grandfather had lost his daughter a long time ago so that means that Jasper's mother had died, but I have no idea about his father, and Jasper appeared in Forks quite abruptly, in the middle of the first semester." Bella explained.

"Do you think he is an orphan, then?" I asked and I was saddened by this information. Poor Jasper, I couldn't imagine my life without my parents.

"I don't know." Bella continued. "He must have lived with his father for some time, but after that I have no idea. There weren't any rumors about him either when he had arrived so I guess no one knows anything."

"Well, that's interesting. What else do you know?" I asked, now was not the time to dwell on little details. It was time to find out as many information as possible about the boy in question.

"Oh, I do know that he works at the Diner everyday after school, and I think on weekends, too." Bella smiled.

"Ok, then we should check out the Diner sometime?" I said.

"We?" Bella asked surprised.

"Yes, we. I can't very well go on my own. It would look really pathetic and kind of obvious. And I can't go with only my brothers because they would notice and I'm not ready for Emmet's teasing." I explained to her, and then continued my questioning. "Earlier you said that Lauren had a crush on him, but he always rejected her. But does he have a girlfriend?" This was a very important question. I held my breath.

"As I said he keeps to himself so I think he is single. And yes, Lauren was very incessant in her pursuit." Bella said and giggled on some memory I think.

"What did she do?" I asked because on the one hand I was curious, and on the other I didn't want to make the same mistake. Not that I wanted to start pursuing Jasper, I mean, yes he was incredibly good looking and he interested me a great deal, but in all honesty I knew next to nothing about him. Plus it was not my style. I just wanted to be his friend first.

"It was interesting how Lauren's skirts became shorter and shorter with each day, even in the middle of November. And her makeup was so much that one of teachers ordered her to wash her face. It was really ridiculous." Bella said.

"And what did Jasper do?" I asked. I could easily imagine Lauren looking like a hooker by Bella's description. I wondered if she would repeat the whole thing in order to get Edward's attention. I hoped so. It would be great to see that firsthand, not to mention Edward's frustration.

"Well, he had never been overtly rude to her or anything, but he was firm in trying to make her understand that he wasn't interested." Bella said in an amused tone. "Oh, and I remember noticing that Jasper doesn't like to be touched. He always flinched away from her or anybody else's touch." Bella continued her explanation.

After that we were silent. I was contemplating everything I had just heard, and Bella was doing something cooking related. As I said I wasn't a genius in the kitchen. Bella was the one who broke the silence.

"So can I ask now why you are so interested in Jasper?" She asked smiling. "I thought you said that no one had caught your eyes?"

"Well, today was the first time I have ever seen him so technically I told you the truth the other day." I smiled back at her. "And to answer your question I like to get to know the people in my immediate surrounding." I said in overly innocent tone, and we burst out laughing.

When we calmed down I said. "Really, I just want to get to know him and be friends."

"Just friends?" Bella asked with one eyebrow raised.

"Yes, for now at least." I answered truthfully.

I didn't stay at Bella's for long. I called Edward to come and pick me up, and he readily complied. I suspected it had more to do with the fact that he could see Bella again, rather than the fact to be a good brother. Well, at least it gave me the opportunity to discuss his feelings for my new friend. So when we got into the car I wasted no time and started away.

"It was very nice of you to come and pick me up." I said in an overly sweet tone.

"Well, what can I say? I'm a pretty nice person." He answered. The smart ass.

"Yes, a nice person who has ulterior motives." I challenged.

"I don't know what you are talking about." He stated with an all too innocent expression on his face.

"Oh, yes you do. You just wanted to see Bella." I said deciding to be blunt because I was getting tired of beating around the bush.

Apparently he didn't think so. "Oh, I'm offended, Alice. Here I was being kind and helping you out, and you go and accuse me of insincerity." He continued with his dramatics. I just rolled my eyes at him, and slapped his arm.

"Ok, you have two options. We either talk about here while you drive or we can discuss it at home where Emmett can easily hear us. So it's your choice." I gave him an ultimatum.

"What do you want? There is nothing to talk about." He said, but sounded a little frustrated. Good, now maybe he starts talking.

"Of course there is. Bella. You like her, it's obvious." I stated raising an eyebrow in a challenge. Daring him deny it.

"What do you mean it's obvious?" He asked in a panicked tone. "Does she know?"

"I knew it! I knew it! Now admit it!" I cried while bouncing in my seat.

"Alice, please." He pleaded in a small voice.

"Oh, come on. You don't have to worry, she likes you, too." I said still very excited.

"How do you know?" He asked cocking an eyebrow. Then continued a little more animated. "Did she say it?" He asked in a hopeful tone.

"As Bella's friend and confidant I cannot confirm or deny it. But to see how nice I am, I will give you a hint. Next time you see her try to concentrate on her body language and her eyes instead on her beauty. You will see for yourself how she feels. Trust me!" I said.

He looked at me doubtfully, but I knew he would think about my suggestion. He only needed a little push in the right direction. I had no doubt in my mind that soon Edward and Bella would become a couple. So now I only have Emmett and Rosalie to worry about, and of course Jasper. Bella gave me quite a lot to think about. However, before I could dwell on that Edward broke the silence between us.

"What did you do at Bella's this afternoon, anyway?" He asked, but fortunately for me, we arrived home.

"That's for me to know." I said and ran into the house leaving Edward in the garage.

The next day I woke up with renewed energy. Yesterday evening I spent a lot of time thinking about Jasper. I don't know why he intrigues me so much, I mean I don't even know him for God's sake, but still can't stop thinking about him. And I know it's not just because he looks like a Greek God. I'm not that superficial, I just couldn't help having this feeling that Jasper and I belong together. I know it sounds insane, but I don't care, and that's why I came up with a plan. From Bella's account and my own observations it was clear that Jasper was very reserved and quiet. So first I have to break down the walls he had built around himself. That could take some time, but I felt that Jasper would worth the wait. So first I planned to be friends with him, I wanted him to be comfortable with me and trust me. This way maybe I will understand my own feelings, too.

So with that in mind, I took extra care in my wardrobe that morning. Hey, it never hurt to look nice while making new friends. I decided to wear a red button down shirt with a nice black cardigan (it was still Forks after all), my favorite skinny jeans and a pair of high heeled boots. I looked at myself in my full length mirror; I looked good, it wasn't too much, just enough to make me look pretty. I put on some makeup, but kept it light. I didn't want to end up like Lauren, plus I couldn't be too obvious or my brother would notice, too.

At breakfast Mom complimented my outfit, and even Emmett said I looked nice. So it was a success. Only Edward didn't say anything, just studied me silently. I knew sooner or later he would realize what I do.

Fortunately when we arrived to school Bella soon distracted Edward, and I could go to class a little early. However, when I planned my outfit I totally forgot about my stalker, Mike who was more eager than usual. But I just ignored him, I was determined that I would talk to Jasper before first period. As I hoped Jasper had already been in his seat by the time I arrived. I quickly sat down, took off my coat, arranged my stuff, stood up and greeted him.

"Good morning, Jasper!" I said with a smile in cheerful voice.

He looked up startled. "Good morning to you, too." He said in his familiar Southern drawl and looked down again. He quickly covered the papers in front of him, but he was not quick enough and I saw it was some kind of drawing. Hmm… he was artistic, too. I filed this information away in my brain to think about it later.

"Look, I just wanted to apologize if I offended you yesterday by looking at your tattoo." I started and Jasper's head whipped toward me. "It… It was just right there, in front of me and couldn't help but look. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry." I said and tried to convey my sincerity with my eyes even though I sounded like a blathering idiot. _Shit!_ I seriously have to pull myself together and don't let his gorgeous eyes make me stupid. While I was silently berating myself Jasper cocked his head to the right and gave me a smile. _Holy shit!_ He has a beautiful smile. I hoped to God he wasn't smiling at me because he thought I was mentally handicapped. But his next words stopped the beginning of my panic attack.

"Relax, Alice!" _Yay, he remembered my name._ "It's ok, you just caught me off guard yesterday." He said in his shit hot accent. Well, that was cryptic. _What the hell did he mean_ _by that?_ Oh, but his drawl, I could listen to him speak all day long. However, he just looked forward again, and I realized while we were talking the others arrived, including Edward who was eying me and Jasper together with a knowing smirk. _Shit!_ He would bug me about it later. Soon, the teacher arrived, too and the class started.

The following classes dragged on at a snail's pace, and I couldn't wait for Biology, not because it was my favorite or anything, but because I was sitting next to Jasper. I hoped he would be in the mood of a little bit of more talking.

During lunch period I saw from the corner of my eye as Edward was intently watching Bella, no doubt searching for signs of her affection and judging from Bella's blush she noticed it, too. Oh, those two! There was nothing new with Rosalie and Emmett although their banter seemed to be a bit easier. I was half listening to their discussion about the finer points of a good … car engine maybe? When I saw Jasper walk into the cafeteria and sat down alone at a table. I tried not to watch too obviously when I saw Lauren getting up and walking toward him. _What the hell?_ I thought she had already given up on him in favor of my brother. But from her ridiculous hair flipping and eyelash batting it was clear that her crush was far from being over. I couldn't hear what they said, but Jasper looked frustrated so much so that he abruptly stood up and walked away. Poor guy couldn't eat his lunch in peace. Though it explained why he missed lunch yesterday. While I watched this scene unfold something occurred to me that Bella mentioned earlier.

"Hey guys, do you want to check out the Forks Diner this afternoon?" I asked in a casual voice. "Bella said yesterday that it was great." Bella looked at me knowingly, while Rosalie just cocked an eyebrow at Bella, and the others just shrugged.

"Sure, I don't have any other plan." Bella was the first to answer. Oh, she was such a good friend. And also her coming meant that Edward would come, too. And Emmett would never miss an opportunity to eat so the only uncertain person was Rosalie.

"Sorry, Alice, I can't. Dad is giving a formal dinner to his colleagues this evening, and my presence is required." Rosalie said and she added. "But I see you on Saturday for our shopping trip." I was a little relieved that she wasn't coming not because I disliked her, but I didn't want to be a fifth wheel.

"Oh, that's ok. So what about us meeting at five this afternoon?" I asked truly excited at the aspect of seeing Jasper outside of school. "Should we pick you up, Bella, or meet at the Diner?" I turned to Bella, but before she could answer Edward cut in.

"Of course we should pick her up. She is the one who knows where the Diner is." I fought the urge to point out to him that in a town this size there couldn't be too many diners but instead I remained silent. Bella quickly agreed when the bell rang.

When I arrived to class I was surprised that Jasper wasn't there. I thought that he came here after the incident in the cafeteria. I sat down and waited hoping that Jasper would arrive in time for us to chat a bit before class. However, I was seriously out of luck today. Jasper arrived barely seconds before the teacher. Admittedly it hurt a little and I felt subdued, I hoped he wasn't avoiding me. My spirit rose when Mr. Banner announced that we were going to do lab today with our partners. Jasper seemed to know what he was doing and I always was good at Biology so we finished with plenty of time left. As we sat in silence I wracked my brain to come up with something to talk about. I remembered that he was drawing something earlier and I decided to ask him about that.

"So you like drawing?" I asked and suddenly I realized that he didn't know that I saw him. _Shit! Now he will think I am like Lauren and I stalk him! _"I'm sorry, I just saw you drawing something before History." I hastily added hoping to salvage the situation.

Jasper slowly smiled at me and simply said yes. I was encouraged by his beautiful smile, and decided to press a little more.

"And what do you like to draw?" I asked in a friendly tone hoping he would elaborate this time.

"Well, I don't have a specific or favorite theme. I just draw what I'm in the mood for." He answered. _God, his accent was so sexy._ But this answer wasn't enough as I was hoping for a little more clarity. Was he ambiguous on purpose?

"But what do you usually draw? People? Scenes?" I asked and winced. Maybe I was too assertive in my questioning. So I quickly added. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to." But secretly I hoped he would.

This time he gave me a lopsided smile like he knew what I was thinking. "Yes, sometimes I do portraits or still lives. Other times I just draw something abstract." He replied. I hesitated before I asked my next question.

"Can I… Can I see what you drew this morning?" So far he was kind of open with me. He never asked me anything or initiated any conversation, but he answered my questions however shortly. I didn't want him to close off again. I saw that he was debating with himself and I was about to reassure him that he didn't have to when he reached for his bag and pulled out a sketch book. He flipped some pages and pushed the drawing in front of me.

It was a picture of a prancing horse in front of a burning building. The house in the background was very sketchy, but the horse was prepared with meticulous care, every single detail of that animal was there at that piece of paper. Especially the eyes, they were very lifelike as they portrayed sheer horror. It was breathtakingly beautiful. I slowly lifted my head barely able to tear my gaze off of the picture and looked at Jasper.

"Wow. It's really beautiful. You are very talented." I said in awe.

"Thanks. But it's not that good." He said in a quiet tone. I waited for him to meet my eyes before I responded.

"Yes, it is. You are very good at this." I made sure that my eyes conveyed my genuine appreciation of his work. It seemed to work as he smiled at me. However, our little moment was broken by the bell. And just as before, Jasper quickly packed up his things and left, but at least this time he said goodbye. I wasn't too put out with this as I knew that I was going to see him again that afternoon.

At home when I started to prepare for our evening out I had a little dilemma regarding my clothes. What should I ware? I didn't know the place and I didn't want to be over- or underdressed, plus I wanted to look nice, too. After long consideration I decided to wear an emerald green, long-sleeved cashmere sweater because it made my eyes look great, a pair of black skinny jeans and my boots that I wore today for school. And, finally, I decided to wear my favorite green earrings that matched this top. When I was satisfied with my looks I went downstairs to meet my brothers. Edward was already waiting in the living room, and Emmett was doing God knows what.

"You are looking nice, Alice." Edward complimented. "Any special occasion?" He cocked his head studying me. I knew once he saw Jasper at the Diner he would know, and he would want to talk about it considering how I pressured him about Bella. Well, let's hope that by that time I would be able to answer his questions.

"Nothing special, I always try to look nice." I smiled at him. "You are looking sharp yourself, too." I was sure he dressed up a little for Bella. This was a great opportunity for them, a little push in the right direction.

"Yo!" Came Emmett's booming voice as he jogged down the stairs. "Aren't we a pretty sight?" He asked as he stood between Edward and me, and put his hands on our shoulders. He was grinning from ear to ear, and I giggled.

"So let's get this show on the road. I'm starving." He said and grabbed the keys out of Edward's hand. "Not this time Eddie boy. We are going in my car!"

"Oh, do we have to?" I whined. I didn't particularly like his jeep, it was too big and I felt even smaller than I already was in that car.

"Yes, little sis, we have to. We always use Edward's car and yours isn't big enough." He explained and then added grinning. "Don't worry I won't let that big car to swallow your little self up." I pushed at his ribs to get his arm off of me, but he just laughed and led me out to the garage. I decided to sit in the backseat so when Bella came we could talk. Emmett came up behind me and lifted me up in the car, I just huffed at him.

When we pulled up in front of Bella's house she was already at the porch waiting for us. I saw her eyes go wide when she noticed our car. Edward quickly hopped out and greeted Bella. _Eager much_, I thought. He helped Bella settle in the car much more nicely than Emmett did to me. On the way to the Diner we all asked Bella questions about the Diner. When we arrived we saw that the Diner's parking lot was almost full, Bella mentioned that it was a popular place. Emmett helped me out as Edward was too occupied with Bella. I quickly scanned the area for Jasper's bike and soon I spotted it at the far end of the lot.

"Come, Alice! Leave the lovebirds alone for a bit!" He said and started to walk me towards the entrance. I saw from the corner of my eye as Bella blushed crimson and Edward pinched the bridge of his nose, but soon he put his hand on the small of her back and led her after us. I was surprised at this boldness (it was bold for him, anyway), but I was also very happy for him. I knew he was going to ask her out very soon. When we stepped in the Diner I asked Bella where we should sit. Fortunately, she understood that I really asked which Jasper's sector was.

We settled in a booth near the back, next to a huge window. I sat next to Emmett so Edward and Bella could have a semi-comfortable night. Bella sat across from me as Edward wanted to protect her from the horrible experience that was witnessing Emmett devour food at a close range. Oh, it was true love. I looked up to inspect the place, however my eyes soon settled on Jasper. He was wearing his waiter uniform which consisted of a pair of black dress pants, a white long-sleeved button down shirt with a midnight blue vest on top. He looked delicious. He was walking toward us, and he only looked up when he arrived at out table. He was clearly surprised to see us there, but he recovered from his shock quite quickly.

"Hello! Welcome to the Forks Diner!" He greeted us. I giggled at his formality, but knew that it was required of him. Before I could greet him Emmett interrupted.

"Well, hello um…" He quickly read Jasper's nametag. "Jasper. You are going to Forks High, right?" He asked.

"Yeah. I have some classes with your siblings." Jasper said calmly.

"Hey, that's cool. So what can we eat here?" He asked.

"Here are the menus. I will now take your drink orders." Jasper said in a polite, but detached tone. I frowned. I hoped that we had made some progress today at school. Then I chastised myself he was working, and he only knew me a little, but not my brothers. We gave him our drink orders and Jasper left us with the menu. Throughout the whole exchange I didn't dare look at Edward. I knew he put two and two together.

Jasper soon returned with the drinks. And continued in his waiter manner.

"So could you decide on the food or do you need more time?" He asked.

"I have a question. The menu says big burger. So how big it is?" Emmett asked curiously.

"It's the size of two regular burgers." Jasper replied.

"Cool. I want two of those with French fries." Emmett ordered. His order wasn't that surprising considering his size. And Jasper wasn't surprised, he neatly wrote down his order.

"Make that three. And also French fries, too." Edward said.

"I'd like a garden burger, please." I said and smiled at Jasper. Unfortunately, he didn't return the smile. He was in complete waiter mode.

"Yeah, me too." Bella said.

With that Jasper went back to the kitchen to place our orders. We chatted lightly while waiting for the food. I didn't really pay attention as I was watching Jasper tending to other tables. It was a busy night, maybe that explained his behavior. Soon he returned to our table with the food. The evening continued in a friendly manner and even Emmett behaved himself for once. Still I couldn't help but feel disappointed. I didn't know what I was expecting, but surely it wasn't this. However, I wasn't discouraged the slightest. I knew that Jasper and I would be great friends, maybe even something more.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 4

That night I knew I didn't have much time before Edward wanted to interrogate me, and I was right. Only minutes after I had finished my shower I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in, Edward!" I called out to him.

"So you were expecting me?" He asked. He came in and sat down in the chair near my desk while I sat on my bed. "Then you know why I'm here." It wasn't a question.

I decided to play dumb to gain more time. "Of course, you wanted to tell me what a great evening you have just had with Bella. And thank me to make it possible for you to spend more time with her." I smiled at him innocently.

"Alice." Edward warned with a raised eyebrow. But when he saw I wasn't going to say anything voluntarily he started to question me.

"Am I right in assuming that we went to the Diner this evening to see a certain Jasper Whitlock?" Well, he didn't start out easily, did he? I didn't know how to answer his question. I mean yes that was the reason, but I wouldn't admit it to him for sure. The silence continued between us and I knew he wouldn't budge.

"I don't know what to say, Edward." I sighed. This made Edward frown.

"What is it, Ali?" He asked. "You usually aren't like this."

"I know, but I really don't know what it is." I felt extremely tired at this point. It was a long day.

"But it has something to do with Jasper, right?" Edward pressed on.

"Yes." It was my only answer.

"Come on, Alice! You know you can tell me anything." He implored. I looked up and looked directly in his eyes and I knew it. I could really tell everything to him. He was my twin; he is the only person in the world who completely understands me.

"Yes, it's about Jasper. But I don't know how to say it." I took a big breath and continued. "Ever since I saw him I'm drawn to him, like there is an invisible cord that pulls me to him. I can't really explain it. I know that I don't really know anything about him, but I can't stop thinking about him. Ugh… I sound completely insane."

"No, you don't." Edward smiled at me. "Do you remember when we talked about Bella the other day?" He didn't wait for an answer just pressed on. "I didn't want to talk to you about her because I was unsure of myself, my feelings and hers. I think I felt exactly like you do now. But you wouldn't give up and pressed on, and you continually throw us together to help me get to know her. So I really know how you feel."

I smiled at his confession. "So now you are sure of your feelings?" I asked.

"All I know is that I like what I've seen so far and I want to know more. So, yes I'm going to ask Bella out on a date." He said. "But stop trying to change the subject. Now we are talking about you and Jasper."

"Well, it's not the same. I knew Bella liked you too. But Jasper…" I trailed off. I had no idea how Jasper felt about me or even if he thought about me at all. That boy was a complete enigma.

"I don't know what to say, Alice." Edward shook his had. "Jasper seems to be a little strange. But I don't think you should worry about him liking you."

"Why?" I asked and was very curious. Maybe he knew something that I didn't.

"At the Diner when he asked our orders he only looked at you. There were three other people at the table, still he had eyes only for you." He soothed me.

"Really? But then why was he so distanced?" I asked if he really liked me he would have been friendlier.

"Yes, really. And what were you expecting? He was working, Alice." He said. "Besides he seems quite shy. It wasn't the right place."

"Yeah, I know he is shy." I smiled. I really hoped that was all.

"I think you should gain his trust, be his friend." He advised and I smiled as it was my plan, too. "And while I don't particularly like the idea of you dating anyone because you are my sister and I always want to protect you. If Jasper is really the guy you like, you can count on me. I would help you like you always help me." He smiled.

"Thank you, Edward." I said with honest gratefulness in my voice.

He stood up from the chair, walked over to me and kissed my cheek. "You are very welcome, Ali. Good night!"

"Good night!" I said as Edward left my room. I was alone with my thoughts once again. It was the first night I dreamt about Jasper Whitlock.

The next morning I couldn't help being very excited. And what not to be excited for: I was going to Port Angeles with the girls to shop. _Yay!_ I didn't have much time to prepare so I went downstairs to eat my breakfast. Mom was the only other person that was up so early on a Saturday morning.

"Good morning, Mom!" I said in a chipper tone.

"Hello, honey." She greeted me and put a big pile of food in front of me.

"Thanks. I'm starving!" And with that I dag in.

Mom smiled at my enthusiasm for the food. "So when are you girls going?" She asked.

"Rosalie will be here with Bella at 10." I replied once I swallowed the last bite. "We are going in her car. Don't worry!" I put my empty plate in the sink and went back to my room to have a shower and get dressed. When I went back down Dad was sitting at the counter in the kitchen drinking his morning coffee.

"Hey, Dad. Good morning!" I said, but then I heard Rosalie honk from outside. "Bye, Dad!" I grabbed my coat and ran out to meet the girls.

"That was fast!" I faintly heard my dad exclaim as I ran out.

The car ride to Port Angeles was very nice. We talked about what we needed to shop for and discussed our favorite designer brands. Well, Rosalie and I talked about these things while Bella was quietly groaning in the back seat, but she made me promise that she could go to a bookstore, too.

"Yes, let me warn you in advance," Rosalie said in a playful voice "Bella is a nightmare to shop with. Trust me! It takes ages to get her to come shopping and then to agree on some clothes." Bella simply stuck her tongue out at Rosalie.

"Well, she has never shopped with me before." I said with a devilish smile.

The drive took only an hour as Rosalie drove just as crazily as everyone in my family. She parked the car in the parking lot of the biggest shopping mall, and the shopping commenced.

While we were shopping I noticed that Rosalie and I had very similar tastes. We liked the same designers and colors, however, Rosalie was a little more daring than me, but who could blame her with a body like hers. I envied her a little. There were a lot of dresses I liked, but I knew they would be horrible on my slight frame. Sometimes I hated being so small.

My first aim was to refresh my wardrobe, of course, but also to get Bella to wear nicer and more fitting clothes. And as I knew Edward was going to ask her out I tried to look for dresses that suited that occasion. Bella was surprisingly difficult about certain dresses and it took Rosalie's and mine combined effort to get her to at least try them on. However, we soon realized that if we wanted Bella to buy a dress, we only had to mention that Edward would definitely like her in that. When Bella's groans and whining became constant I decided it was time for lunch. Rosalie suggested a nearby place called the _Bella Italia_.

During lunch I finally had the opportunity to ask Rosalie about my brother.

"So Rosalie what is going on with you and my brother?" I asked.

"There is nothing going on." She said casually. "And, by the way, you can call me Rose."

"Oh, come on Rose. He is my brother I'd like to know." I pressed on. Bella giggled next to me. She had already gone through one of my interrogation session so she knew I wasn't the type to give up easily.

"Well, then asked him." Rose replied.

"Oh, I will. I just want to know both sides." I smiled. "Please, Rose. He is my brother and I don't want him to get hurt." I said and pouted for effect. It worked as it always did.

"Ok, Alice. I know I can trust you so I'm going to tell you something. But first you have to understand that I had some bad experience with guys who only wanted one thing from me." Rose started to explain and I saw Bella's face fell. That didn't look promising. "My first serious boyfriend was Royce. I thought he loved me as much as I loved him. But soon I had to realize how dead wrong I was. He only wanted my body and when I finally had sex with him, he dumped me the next day. I was so humiliated." Her voice trailed off at the end and she was silent for a while. Oh, my God! How can somebody be so cruel to such a nice person as Rose.

"After that I decided to be more careful with boys, and I made a promise to myself that the next time I find a guy interesting I will make sure that he likes me for myself and not for my looks." Rose finished with a sigh.

"I'm sorry, Rose." I apologized. "I didn't want to bring up bad memories."

"It's ok, Alice. With Bella's help and over time I got over it as much as I could." Rose said than suddenly smiled. "So now as a thank you gift you can help me get Bella her man finally." She cried and Bella blushed crimson. I had to laugh.

"I assume you are talking about my brother, Edward." I smiled.

"Of course, who else?" She nudged Bella lightly with her elbow. "And while we are the topic of boys, what about you, Alice?" She asked. I decided to make a deal with her.

"I'll tell you if you tell me what you really think of Emmett." I said and offered my hand to her to shake.

"Deal!" She accepted and I looked at her pointedly indicating that she should go first.

"Alright. Emmett seems to be a really nice guy, but I need a little more time to get to know him and to trust him." She said, but my face fell a bit. That wasn't exactly the answer I was hoping for. "And of course he is sexy as hell!" Rose cried and we all laughed. That was more like it.

"I know I'm probably biased because he is my brother, but I can assure you that Emmett is really nice and he would never hurt you. Mom raised the boys to be gentlemen." I paused in thought. "Admittedly she had more success with Edward, but still, in important matters Emmett can be serious, too." I smiled.

"Oh, believe you. But now, it's your turn, Alice. Fess up, which one of the lucky guys caught your attention?" She asked. "Is it Mike?"

"Oh, God no!" I was horrified even at the suggestion of him. Rose laughed loudly at my outburst and Bella giggled. She knew exactly who I fancied.

"The truth is I'm kind of interested in Jasper." I confessed and waited for her reaction.

"Jasper? As in Jasper Whitlock?" She asked incredulously. "Really?"

"Yes, really. Why? Is there something wrong with him?" I asked a little hurt at her reaction. Then a terrible thought occurred to me: what if she knew something about Jasper that Bella didn't know. Something that wasn't good. Oh, God, what if he had a girlfriend after all? I was in a full panic mode. Rose must have read the panic on my face because she quickly reassured me.

"No, Alice you misunderstood me. I admit Jasper is very gorgeous." Both mine and Bella's head whipped towards Rose. "What? I'm not blind. He is hot." She said matter-of-factly. "But he is too quiet for me, I prefer loud men." She winked at me, and I giggled. I knew she was perfect for Emmett.

"Anyway, what I meant was that he is really reserved, bookish and quiet. He just doesn't seem to be your type. That's all." She continued her explanation.

"Well, I noticed that he is shy, but still somehow he intrigues me. And he is such a talented artist." I said, and when I looked up both of them were staring at me.

"What?" I asked panicked.

"He showed you one of his drawings?" Bella asked in a surprised voice.

"Yes. Why?" I looked at them curiously.

This time it was Rose who answered. "I don't think he ever showed his pictures to anyone before." Well, I could understand that, they seemed private.

"So Rose can you tell me anything about him that maybe Bella forgot?" I asked thinking maybe she knew more.

"I don't really know him. I mean I'm a senior and he is a junior, we don't have classes together. But I helped him build his bike up." She said and at my incredulous look she continued. "You know how I like cars and motorcycles. Last year, when he was new here, I saw him in the school garage working on something. I went up to him and offered my help which he accepted. I have to tell you I was surprised, most guys think that I'm dumb and have no idea about cars, but Jasper was different. True, we didn't talk much; we mainly talked about the bike so I don't know anything personal about him. But I can tell you that I've never felt calmer or more peaceful than when I was in his presence. He somehow has a very calming atmosphere about him." She explained and was lost in her thoughts when suddenly she laughed and looked at me. "That's why you wanted to go the Diner yesterday? Bella told you that he was working there and you wanted to check him out!" She cried. And this time it was I who blushed. I rarely blushed, but now at her expression and tone I couldn't help it.

"Oh, girl, you had it bad!" She exclaimed.

"I know." I said bashfully. "I had no idea that he had built his own bike."

"Yes, he said that his grandfather had bought him the weather-beaten junk of a bike that he enjoyed building up. It was fun." She said.

After lunch we went back to the mall and I let Bella off the hook to go to look for the books she wanted. She smiled brightly at me and after we agreed to meet up at Rose's car in an hour we parted ways. Rose and I went to a jeweler shop to browse through the items, and checked out some shoe shops as well. Suddenly my phone rang.

"Hello?" I asked as I forgot to check the caller id.

"Alice, hurry! You have to come to the book store!" It was Bella. But why on earth was she whispering.

"Bella, are you alright? You sound a little out of breath." I said.

"I'm ok, but come. Jasper has just stepped in the store." She said urgently.

"I'm on my way." I hang up and grabbed Rose's arm. On my way to the store I filled her in. My heart was bursting out of my chest I was so exited to see him again even if from a distance. When we arrived Bella was browsing near the entrance. I silently asked her with my eyes where he was, and she indicated the back of the store with her head. I moved a little and saw Jasper checking out books in the history section. Hmm… Another interesting fact about Jasper, he likes history. I wondered which his favorite era was. I was pretending to read a book when I watched like in slow motion as Bella tripped on thin air, but before she would fall to the floor she crashed right into Jasper. He steadied her and I saw that she was blushing again. Rose and I arrived just in time to hear him ask her.

"Are you sure you alright, Bella? You can't even stand on your right foot." He said and he sounded concerned. I felt a little… I don't know jealous at his concern. _What the hell? Where the hell did that come from?_ I'd better pull myself together.

"Yes, I'm fine." Bella said embarrassed and Jasper was looking at her with a dubious expression on his face. So Bella continued. "Really, I'm fine. Besides, the girls are here so everything is alright." She indicated us with her hand. We were standing behind him and he slowly turned around. I sucked in a quick breath. I forgot how gorgeous he really was. He was dressed as usual in a leather jacket, jeans and a pair of motorcycle boots. _Holy shit!_ He was sexy.

"Well, good afternoon, ladies!" He greeted us in his hot accent. I fought the urge to giggle like a twelve-year-old. _Ok, seriously what the hell was wrong with me?_ I usually don't act this way. Rosalie greeted him like a normal person and I could only manage a breathless hi. He cocked his head to the side and looked at me curiously. No doubt wondering if I was mentally retarded. So I quickly snapped out of my stupor and greeted him normally.

"Hello, Jasper. Fancy meeting you here." I said trying to act casual. "So you don't work on weekends?" I asked in a friendly manner with a smile.

"I do, I just got off early today so I could come and pick up some books." He indicated the pile of books under his arm. I desperately wanted to ask him about the books, but I knew that would be too nosy and that would scare him away. I needed to be careful to gain his trust so I just explained our presence in the bookstore.

"Yeah, we also came up here to shop. And Bella wanted to check out some books, too." I said and saw from the corner of my eye that Bella could hardly contain her giggles and Rose was openly smirking at me. I knew I was rambling on, but it seemed I couldn't help my word vomit in the presence of this gorgeous boy. But as he simply smiled at me I suddenly felt a wave of calm spread through me. Rose was right, he really had a calming presence.

Jasper stepped away from us. "Well, have a nice day, ladies! Goodbye!" He tipped his head and walked up to the cashier to pay his bill. After a while I realized that I was checking out his ass, and quickly turned away blushing at my thoughts. _But he had a nice ass_.

"Come, Alice?" Bella said in a cheerful voice trying to ease my embarrassment, and I loved her for it. "We should check out that movie you were talking about."

The movie was fine, but I was more entertained by my new friends. There were a couple of guys at the movie theatre who upon seeing us enter thought it was a good idea to hit on us. Unfortunately for them Rose wasn't in the mood to play games. She shot down every one of their lame pick-up lines with a sarcastic comment or just a pointed glare. It was funny watching those guys squirm under the beautiful girl's simple gaze. Bella on the other hand seemed oblivious about her own beauty. She didn't realize that these boys weren't just hitting on me or Rose, but on herself as well. Hmm… Somehow I had to make her see herself clearly; maybe I would enlist Edward's help in that endeavor.

That night at home I was lying awake in my bed. I couldn't stop thinking about the events of the day. I had a lot of fun hanging out with Bella and Rose, and despite of Bella's constant protests and groans I knew that she had fun, too. The girls proved to be wonderful friends each of them in their own unique way. I knew Bella a little better as I had spent more time with her and she was a genuinely nice person whom I could count on. Rose had a wicked sense of humor and a great attitude to life despite of her earlier disappointments. I knew I found true friends in them.

But on the other, there was the unexpected encounter with Jasper. For the life of me I couldn't figure out why I was reacting so strongly to him. I knew I wasn't in love with him, not yet at least because there were a lot of things that I still didn't know about him. However, I couldn't deny my powerful attraction to him. There was something fundamental in him that called to me. I have never felt that way about anyone before. I knew it had to mean something so I strengthened my resolve to unravel the mystery that is Jasper Whitlock.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 5

The rest of the weekend went by normally and soon I found myself at the parking lot of the school. It was Monday morning and it was one of those rare sunny days in Forks. Everybody was out, hanging out in groups at the cars and the benches. I scanned the parking lot looking for the now familiar motorcycle and when I found I was quickly looking for its owner. Jasper was sitting on a bench, not surprisingly alone, he was hunched forward and when he shifted I noticed that there was a book in his lap. Soon, however, he stood up and walked in the school building. As he was walking I noticed that despite his tall frame his gait was very graceful, it was just nice to watch how he moved. Suddenly I realized that I was checking his ass out, again. I shook my head to clear it from these images and I decided it was time to go to class, too. I'd better be early than late, right? Edward smirked at my eagerness so we said goodbye to the others and set off to class. Yesterday I asked Edward to always walk with me to classes so that Mike couldn't talk to me and hopefully he would soon give up.

When I settled into my seat I tapped Jasper's shoulder to gain his attention, but he quickly flinched away. Oh, of course, I forgot that for some reason he didn't like to be touched. Soon he relaxed his stiff position and turned around.

"Good morning, Jasper!" I greeted him and tried to convey my apology with my eyes for startling him. "How was the rest of your weekend? Do you work on Sundays, too?" I inquired in a friendly tone.

"Hey, Alice." He greeted and seemed to relax a little more. "It was ok. And no, Sunday is my day off." He paused then asked. "How was yours?"

"Oh, just the usual. I didn't do anything exciting only boring stuff that you could do at home." I said. Somehow I had to overcome these awkward and polite first stages of a new friendship. I wanted to get to know the real him. All the good and bad stuff, too.

However, the teacher soon arrived putting a halt to my attempts at building my friendship with Jasper. My anger at the interruption soon dissolved when he announced that we had to do an assignment with a partner that he would choose. _Please, be it Jasper! Please, be it Jasper!_ I chanted in my head.

"Alice Cullen and…" The teacher said and I held my breath. "Jasper Whitlock" He announced. _Yay!_ I squalled in my head. Finally, the opportunity I was waiting for, an excuse to spend time with Jasper outside of school. I fought the urge to bounce in my seat in my excitement, I had to act cool or everyone would notice including Jasper. I saw that Edward was grinning at me, well, he knew me too well. He knew exactly what was going on in my head. The History assignment was that we had to write a report about a specific event during the Civil War. But it was up to each pair in which manner they wanted to do it. I liked this project, it had room for a little creativity.

After the period ended I was pleased to note that Jasper was waiting for me to gather my things. I motioned with my head for Edward to go ahead without me. He smirked at me and left.

"So, partner," I started. "what do you thing of our assignment?"

"It's good, but I don't know when we can work on it." He replied in a worried tone.

I frowned. "Why?" I asked.

"Because I work in the afternoons and I don't think the Diner is a good place for studying." He explained. I think it was the longest I've ever heard him talk. It didn't escape my notice that he didn't offer to go to his place.

"Oh, I forgot that. But you can come over to our place." I offered with a smile. "When do you finish?"

"At six." He frowned. "That's probably too late. Maybe we could work on it separately first." He suggested.

"No!" I shouted surprising both of us with my outburst. I couldn't give up this perfect opportunity. "Trust me! It's not too late. Maybe you could have dinner with us, too." I quickly added in a much normal voice.

"I don't know…" He hesitated.

"Please." I used my puppy-dog eyes and my infamous pout, and it worked as though reluctantly, but he agreed. I was high on excitement.

At lunch I wanted to invite Jasper over to our table using the History assignment as an excuse, but he never came. What was with him and lunch breaks? Doesn't he need to eat? It started to become frustrating. On a different note I was pleased to notice that Emmett and Rose's banter turned into flirting shamelessly. I didn't know whether it was because of our talk on Saturday or because of something Emmett did. After a while of listening to them I desperately wanted to turn them out. _Yuck!_ He was my brother after all. So instead I tuned into Edward and Bella's semi-intimate conversation. They were talking about music that they liked. Now, that was much safer to listen to.

When I arrived to Biology Jasper was already there reading a book. I had to find out where the hell he had been during lunch so when I sat down I wasted no time.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked making my voice sound confident to disguise my nervousness because he wasn't the most open of persons and I didn't want to overwhelm him with my inquisitive nature. And he peaked my interest like nothing had before.

"Sure." He said after a brief pause. He was hesitating.

"Well, during lunch I wanted to talk to you about our homework." As I was speaking I realized that I was pressing this issue so hard that he would think I was some kind of buff who wanted to study at all costs. But continued anyway. "And I was wondering where you have been because I haven't seen you in the cafeteria."

He seemed to relax. What the hell did he think I was asking? "When it's sunny I like being outside." He smiled gently at me. _Oh, God I loved his smile!_ Then he added as an afterthought. "I was drawing."

'Really? Can I see it?" I asked excitedly. I was eager to see one of his fantastic pictures again. This time he didn't hesitate and showed me an abstract depiction of the surrounding forest. It was a beautiful mixture of different shades of green and abstract shapes. I had no idea how he could create something so complicated and yet so simple at the same time. I was totally mesmerized by it.

"Wow. I don't have words to express how … beautiful it is." I was simply speechless.

"If you like you can keep it." He offered gently.

I looked at him sharply. "I can't accept it." I whispered and took one more look at the picture. I reluctantly gave it back to him.

"Why not? It's just a drawing, Alice." He insisted and pushed his drawing back to me.

"Thank you." I said in gratitude. But he was wrong it wasn't just a drawing, it was a little piece of him that he offered to me as a sign of trust. For him to give me piece of his art, when he had never shown them to anyone else, was huge. I would do everything in my power to never misuse his trust.

Soon the period started and it broke this wonderful moment between us. But I was very happy because of the progress we made. After class I stopped Jasper to talk about the details of his coming over.

"Um… about that." He started and ran his hand through his hair which in turn fell into his face. _God, that was so sexy!_ I was itching to run _my_ hand through that shaggy blonde mane. He looked so hot when his hair was in disarray and some of it was in his eyes. Oh, God, there go my thoughts again. "I was thinking that we should postpone it."

_What the hell?_ It took me a moment or two to realize that I said it out loud. My unintentional outburst caught Jasper off guard and to my amusement it was his turn to ramble on. "I just thought that it was a bit sudden. I mean you should tell your parents in advance that they should expect company so late. I wouldn't want to disrupt your family's evening or anything. Besides I have to tell my grandpa, too." He was adorable in his flustered state. And polite too. I thought about it for a while, maybe he was right, it would be better if told Mom and Dad.

"Maybe you are right." I said reluctantly. "But I tell my parents and then you can come over tomorrow, ok?" I desperately wanted to add that this was a not negotiable fact, but held it in. No need to intimidate him with my assertive nature. He would have time in the future to get used to it. He agreed with a relieved smile and we parted ways. I noticed that he ran off in the direction of the gymnasium. Ah, so that's why he was in such a hurry every time, he had gym next period. Hmm… Bella had gym, too, funny she had never mentioned it before. And now I was wondering if Jasper was athletic. I imagined him to be. I imagined him in shorts and a T-shirt as he was running in the field, his hair flying in the wind, his muscles flex and relax… _Oh, my God! I was turning into a pervert!_ I was seriously thinking too much about him.

When I got home, I went straight to my room and called Bella. After school I couldn't talk to her. First, because Edward was monopolizing her attention, that boy had to learn to share. And second, it was a private conversation and although Edward and Rose have already known about my obsession with Jasper I wanted to keep Emmett in the dark as long as possible. Not just because of his relentless teasing, but he had a tendency to get to be even more protective of me than Edward was if any boy showed interest in me. And I knew that Jasper wasn't showing any interest in me, which was kind of saddening, but he was still a boy, and Emmett would watch him like a hawk. I sighed deeply. Before I could wallow in misery about Jasper's lack of interest in me, I decided to call Bella.

She answered on the third ring. "Hey, Bella!" I greeted her as cheerfully I could.

"Hi, Alice." She said somewhat confused. No doubt wondering why I called when we saw each other not half an hour ago.

"I just wanted to talk to you." I started, but my tone must have alerted her to my intention because she asked. "Oh, and by any chance is it about the luscious Jasper Whitlock?" I burst out laughing at her choice of words. God, she was dead on with that word. He was really luscious.

"Yes, as a matter of fact it is about him. So why didn't you tell me that you have gym class with him?" I asked after I calmed down.

"Oh, I guess it just skipped my mind." She replied. "You know that I'm not the most graceful person on the planet and gym is my least favorite class. I try to forget about it as soon as possible." I could sympathize with her. Gym must suck if you are as klutzy as Bella.

"But you have noticed him, right?" I inquired.

"Well, it's not like I was watching him. I have to really concentrate in class in order to get away with minimal amount of injury to myself or others." She explained and I had to laugh. Damn, I wished I could see her _concentrate_ in gym. "Anyway," she continued "yes, he is there. What about it?" She asked.

"I was just wondering whether he was athletic or not. And how he acted in that environment. You know, when he isn't confined into a classroom." I told her.

"He is athletic I guess." She answered and then paused in concentration on the next part of my question. "Now, you have mentioned it I think he acts a little weird in gym."

"What do you mean?" I frowned.

"I can't really explain it. It's like he deliberately keeps everyone at a distance, you know, so no one would get too close to him physically. I don't know." She said sounding rather uncertain.

"Hmm… Maybe it's connected to the fact that he isn't too keen on being touched." I mused.

"Yeah, maybe." Bella replied. We chatted for a couple of more minutes than she said that she had to start cooking so we hang up.

I put my cell on my desk when I heard a knock at the door. It was Edward.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked. "I was just talking to Bella." I wiggled by eyebrows at him.

"I know. I tried to call her, but it was always engaged. So I figured she must be on the phone with you." He said matter-of-factly.

"Wait a minute!" I cried. "You have her phone number?" I asked incredulously.

"Why, yes I certainly have." He gave me a huge smile. "I asked for it today."

"Wow, you certainly move fast once you make up your mind." I said.

"Yes, I do. And I want to ask her out on Friday." He announced then added. "I'd like to ask your opinion on where I should take her."

"Well, as it is Fork, I don't think you have a lot of opportunity." I said thoughtfully.

"No, but I was thinking about Port Angeles." He said.

"Oh, perfect!" I cried quite loudly because I just remembered the restaurant that we had gone to on Saturday. "There's a lovely Italian restaurant, it's called _Bella Italia_. Bella mentioned it was her favorite place." I bounced excitedly in my seat. I was so happy for them!

"Thanks, that's great!" He smiled at my enthusiasm. Then he changed the subject. "I also wanted to ask you about today's History class. I guess you are very pleased with your partner." He cocked an eyebrow at me.

"Yes, very much so." I grinned. "I invited him over to work on it, but he can only come tomorrow after work." I said and frowned a little at the memory of that particular conversation.

"Well, that's sound like fun." Was his only reply which made me kind of suspicious, but dropped it.

"So who is your partner?" I asked feeling guilty as I had no idea because I couldn't really remember anything after the teacher had said that Jasper was my partner. "I hope it's not someone horrible."

"No, fortunately it's Angela Webber." He said. "So I don't have to worry."

We were interrupted as Emmett dashed into my room without knocking and announced that Dad was home and dinner was ready.

Halfway through dinner I thought it was time to bring up Jasper's coming over.

"Mom! Can Jasper come over tomorrow?" I asked. Well, maybe that wasn't the best way to introduce the topic as suddenly everyone expect Edward was staring at me. Mom was the first one to break the silence.

"Of course, honey." She said in her usual sweet tone. "But who is Jasper?" I noticed as Emmett gave his whole-hearted attention to this conversation. Well, that wasn't a too promising beginning.

"He is one of my classmates. We got paired up in History to do an assignment together." I said and before I could explain further Emmett interrupted me.

"So which one is this Jasper again?" He asked suspiciously.

"You met him at the Diner last Friday." It was Edward who answered him and at his blank expression he added. "He was our waiter."

"Oh, I remember him. He is cool!" He said cheerfully. I was completely surprised. He doesn't have a problem with Jasper? What's the catch? At my incredulous look he answered.

"What? He is a nice dude, he wasn't hitting on you and he gave me food." He grinned. "So what's not to like?" _Oh, shit!_ It hurt that he brought up Jasper's indifference.

"Oh, yes, and as he is working tomorrow he can only come over after 6." I explained. "I hope that's ok, too."

"Well, that's a bit late." It was the first time that Dad had said something since I mentioned Jasper. "But I guess if that the only time he can make it then it's ok." After a brief pause he continued. "I have to tell, Alice, that I'm surprised that you asked for our permission in advance. You usually just let us face things with a fait accompli so to speak."

"Um… Yeah, that was my intention this time, too. But Jasper said that it would be better this way and he wouldn't come over without your permission as he finished so late." I explained a little embarrassed that I never really take their reaction into consideration.

"Well, in that case, I already like him." Dad smiled.

"Oh, honey! Why don't you invite him over for dinner as well?" Mom asked a little excited. I knew she would invite him. So no need to mention that I had already invited him, especially not in the light of Dad's earlier revelation. I saw from the corner of my eye that Edward was very amused at the whole conversation. _The bastard!_ Well, we'll see how they would react to his dating.

Back in my room I pulled Jasper's drawing out of my bag and put it on my desk for now till I find a suitable place for it. I was looking at it again for some time. I sighed. I decided to draw a map for Jasper so he would find his way over here more easily. When I finished I sat there contemplating whether I should write down my phone number or just leave it at that. If I gave him my number that could prompt him to do the same, but that move could seem too pushy as well. I decided to get over myself and I wrote down that damn number. He would make whatever he wanted with it. I hated that I was this uncertain about everything that concerned Jasper. It was so unlike me, I was always the sure one. But Jasper totally confused me with his behavior. I was hoping that once I got to know him better my usual confidence would return as well.

The next day at school I let Jasper know that I cleared everything with my parents and he could come over without a problem. Then I gave him the map with my number on it, and explained as well how he could find our house. It was necessary as we lived in a secluded area. When I finished giving directions I proceeded to explain my number's presence on the paper.

"And, um… I wrote down my number. Just in case you need it for some reason."

"Oh, thanks." He said and after a momentary consideration he looked at me and asked. "Would you like to have my number?" I shouted yes in my head, but out loud I simply said. "Well, if you like you can give me. But don't feel that I expect it from you." I reassured him, but I was sure that a little desperation seeped into my tone. After what felt like an eternity, he pulled his phone out of his pocket, punched in my number and then gave me a call in order that I had his number, too. I was blissed out. I had his number, finally.

The day went by quickly and when we arrived home I dashed into my room to put my room in a semblance of order. It was not that I was messy or anything, but it would be the first time that Jasper was going to see my room, and I wanted to make a good impression. When I finished that I did all of my other homework, and when that was finished too I simply waited. I considered changing my clothes, but decided against it because it would be too obvious. Jasper promised that he would give me a ring when he left the Diner. A couple of minutes after 6 o'clock my phone rang. I felt like my heart would burst out of my chest at the sudden adrenaline rush because it was him. I answered it on the first ring which probably surprised him.

"Um… Hello, Alice. It's Jasper." He started. Yeah, like I had no idea it was him. I would recognize that hot accent anywhere.

"Hi, Jasper!" I greeted him very cheerfully. "Are you leaving now?" I asked.

"Yes, I'll be there in about ten minutes." He answered.

"Ok, give me a call if you are lost." I reminded him again.

Then we hang up and I went downstairs to announce that Jasper was on his way. Dad was already home and dinner was ready so we only waited for Jasper.

"It's about time!" Emmett cried. "I'm starving!"

"Well, as you are always starving a few more minutes wouldn't hurt." I said.

He just grinned and thankfully didn't say anything more. True to his word Jasper arrived in ten minutes. When he rang the doorbell I dashed to the door to get it causing everyone in the living room to chuckle. _So I was excited, big surprise!_ When I opened the door my breath caught in my throat. He was mouthwatering in his biker getup and he greeted me with a smile. _Swoon!_ After I gathered myself and my wayward thoughts I led him to the living room and proceeded to introduce him to Mom and Dad as he had already met my brothers.

"Mom, Dad, this is my friend Jasper Whitlock." I deliberately used the term friend and watched closely his reaction. He seemed stunned, but recovered quickly. "Jasper, this is my mom, Esme and my dad, Carlisle."

"It's nice to meet you Mrs. Cullen, Dr. Cullen." He greeted them and I was surprised that he knew my father was a doctor. But I guess in a town this small the arrival of a new doctor was big news.

"Hello, dear!" Mom shook his outstretched hand. "I hope you are hungry because dinner is ready."

"Yes, ma'am. I am." He drawled, and I couldn't stop grinning. He was so adorable. "Thank you for inviting me for dinner, even this late." He said politely.

We all went to the dining room and I made sure that I was sitting next to Jasper. _I wanted to be close to him so sue me!_ Soon it became obvious that he wasn't just polite he was really hungry.

"So, Jasper, the kids said that you were working in the Forks Diner." It was Dad's way of starting up a conversation by stating the obvious.

"Yes, Sir. I'm a waiter there and sometimes I work as cashier, too." Jasper replied.

"Oh, it must be very exhausting." Mom said in a concerned voice. "Working after school. You don't really have much free time, do you?"

I knew they would never come out and ask directly why he was working, but their words and expressions were suggesting the question. I didn't blame them as I was just as curious as they.

"Yes, it can be tiring at times, ma'am." Jasper answered ever so politely. "But my grandpa's pension isn't that much and I want to help wherever I can." Wow, he was really nice. I didn't know why but every time he said "ma'am" I was melting. It was like his sexy accent was concentrated in just that one word causing me to drool.

"Do I hear it right and your accent is Southern?" Dad asked and I was a little flustered as I was thinking about his accent, too. Although I was sure that Dad's line of thinking was way different than mine.

"Yes, Sir. I'm from Texas originally." He answered. I noticed that he wasn't giving up information about himself voluntary, only when asked. I also noticed that he tensed at the direction this conversation had taken. But soon he relaxed as my parents stopped questioning him and started to talk about trivial things like school and work. I thought they realized too that Jasper wasn't comfortable talking about himself. Throughout dinner I barely could keep my eyes off of him which didn't go unnoticed by Mom, but she just smiled at me. After we finished eating I suggested Jasper that we could go to my room to do our homework.

"Oh, are you sure, little sis, that the only thing you want to _do_ is homework in your room?" Emmett asked in a suggestive voice. I blushed. It was one thing having inappropriate thoughts about a boy and quite another having your brother make lewd comments about the same thing. I knew that Emmett's good behavior at the table was just warming up. Fortunately Mom heard him and smacked him upside the head. I didn't dare look at Jasper at this point. So much about making a good impression!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 6

I led Jasper upstairs towards my room using time to calm my burning cheeks and to compose myself. I was busy pretending that Emmett hadn't said a word after dinner and thankfully Jasper did the same. We were silent, and I knew it had to be me who broke the silence, but I tried really hard to act as nothing embarrassing had happened. As the silence grew between us I noticed that Jasper's closeness was helping me in the calming down business and soon I felt comfortable again, and I was content just to be in his company. We arrived to my door and Jasper gestured with his hand that I should enter first.

"Well, this is my room." I said indicating my place with my hands. Jasper stepped in and looked around curiously. His close scrutiny made me a little self-conscious about my room. It wasn't pink or overtly girly, but it was obvious that it belonged to a girl. Finally, Jasper's eyes settled on mine.

"It is a very nice room, Alice." He smiled. I saw he was hesitating about where we should sit. So I sat down on the floor at the foot of my bed and gestured to Japer to do the same. We sat cross-legged in front of each other. I have never been this close to him.

"So have you thought about our project yet?" I asked and thought it best to just get on with it. But as I uttered the words I realized that I haven't even thought about this assignment in terms of homework just as a useful tool to get Jasper to come over. God, I hoped he had some ideas or it could get awkward.

"Actually I have some ideas." He said. "I was thinking that we could approach the Civil War from a more personal point of you."

"What do you mean?" I asked as it sounded interesting enough. Thank God he thought about this. On the other hand it showed that he wasn't as affected by spending time together as I was. At least this fact helped me focus on the project at hand and not on the beautiful boy in front of me.

"Well, what do you think about us writing this paper from a fictional soldier's point of view? Like a diary." He explained and waited for my reaction.

"That's a very good idea, I like it." I said enthusiastically. "We could add details about the customs of that era as well as the battles."

"Yes, that's good." He went on. "And I also thought about the rank of this character, but I couldn't decide whether to make him a major or leave him as a private. What do you think?" He asked.

I thought about it for a bit, but the truth was I had no idea about military ranks. "Well, I don't know." I started hesitantly and decided to tell him the truth. I didn't want him to think I was stupid or something, but also I didn't want to lead him on. "In all honesty, Jasper, I don't know squat about military stuff." I tried to smile apologetically at him.

He chuckled which was a beautiful sound. I have never heard him laugh, but this sound was the closest to it. Suddenly I felt an urge to hear him laugh, a real laugh when he was carefree and happy. I hoped that one day I would be able to be the one who made him feel that way.

"I suppose you don't have any interest in the military." He said with a gorgeous smile.

"Not really." I answered him truthfully. "I have never really understood the little differences between the ranks."

"You don't need to know that now for this project." He said. "But I will explain why I thought about those two ranks. From a major's point of view we can write about strategies, battle overviews and the social etiquette of the time. However, from a private's view we can get more personal and write first hand descriptions about certain battles." As I sat there listening to him explain in his bass voice and Southern drawl I realized that he had given quite a bit of thought to this assignment.

"Wow. I see you have really thought about it, haven't you?" I asked a bit teasingly.

He looked a little embarrassed as he answered. "Yes, well, I like this project. I generally like history and the Civil War is my personal favorite era." I was very pleased at his easy disclosure of facts about himself. I knew that it was a sign that he felt more at ease in my company which made me very happy. Ecstatic even.

"Oh, then I'm very lucky that you are my partner." I smiled.

"I guess." He said, but changed the topic back to the homework. "So what do you think about the point of view?" He asked.

"I think that we should write from a major's point of you because that would give us more sense of the era itself. And I think that's the purpose of this project." I said.

"Ok. I don't think we have to do too much today." He continued. "I think it's enough if we decided the major's name and whose side he fought on." He was right as it was a long term assignment, we had time.

"Oh, why don't we call him Major Jonathan E. Jenkins? It has a certain ring to it." I said excitedly. "And you can decide which side we should choose as you know more about the topic."

"I'd prefer a confederate soldier's views because I think it is always more interesting." After a little pause he added. "Also I'm a Texan so I'm biased." He grinned, and I had to laugh at his cheeky expression. I liked this more relaxed and carefree side of him.

"Well, I think that's enough for today." He said then offered. "But if you like I can show you some really good websites about the Civil War so you can get a closer look at it." I readily accepted his suggestion because I wanted to spend more time with him, and because he sounded so excited when he spoke about it. His eyes lit up, the corners of his mouth curved up and his whole face seemed softer and carefree. _God, he was gorgeous!_ And his happy mood was contagious just like his calm atmosphere.

We stood up and went to my desk where my laptop was. I let Jasper sit down in my chair and I pulled another next to his. I noticed that he was looking at his drawing that I placed on my desk earlier. He smiled at me in acknowledgement and turned on my computer. He saved a couple of pages to my bookmarks and mentioned certain sites. As he was typing something I noticed that his sleeve on his right arm had ridden up and exposed a couple of weird shaped scars on his arm. I quickly looked at his face, but fortunately he hadn't noticed that I saw them. What the hell could they be? Was he in a motorcycle accident? I had no idea, but they certainly looked strange. I tried not to stare at them, but couldn't help stealing glances at his arm. We looked at the clock at the same time and I was surprised to note that it was 9 already.

"It's late. I'd better go." Jasper said softly, and although I didn't want him to leave I admitted that it was really late. Suddenly I felt guilty about keeping him. He must be tired, he was working after school then he came here. I was being selfish with him. My feeling must have shown on my face because he smiled at me gently and said.

"It's alright, Alice. It was a long day, but I'm used to it. Besides I had fun studying." He winked at me and I beamed at him in return. I hoped he had fun because of me and not because of his favorite subject.

"Ok. I walk you out." I said and waited for him to gather his stuff. When we walked downstairs only Mom was in the living room. I had no idea where the others were.

"Goodbye, Mrs. Cullen. Thank you for your hospitality." Jasper said as we passed Mom.

"Oh, Jasper, call me Esme, please. Mrs. Cullen makes me sound so old." She said smiling. Jasper just nodded in understanding and walked toward the door. I suddenly felt very sad at the prospect of his leaving. We said goodbye at the doorway.

"Good night, Alice!" He said. "I'll see you tomorrow at school." With that he lifted my spirit.

"Good night, Jasper! Be safe!" I smiled.

I watched as he hopped on his bike and drove off into the darkness.

I sighed deeply and walked back to the living room. Mom smiled at me and patted the sofa next to her indicating that I should sit there.

"Come, honey, sit with me for a while." I sighed again, but sat down. I knew Mom would want to talk about dinner and my behavior, but surprisingly I wanted to talk about my confusing feelings with someone who could help me sort it out. And although Edward and I had already talked about it briefly I needed a female's opinion, too.

"Do you want to talk about dinner?" Mom asked tentatively. She knew that I would speak when I was ready.

"Yes, but I don't really know what to say or where to begin." I sighed.

"Then let me help you, honey." Mom said softly. "I noticed a change in you in the last couple of days, but I decided to wait till you felt ready to talk, and …"

"Wait!" I cried rudely interrupting my mom. But it suddenly occurred to me that we were talking in the living room where anybody could hear us. "Where are the others?" I asked in a panicked voice. Emmett would never let me live it down if he heard this conversation, plus it was way too private.

Mom's shocked expression changed to understanding. "Your father is in his study, and the boys are in the basement playing videogames. And judging from the earlier sounds Emmett was losing, quite badly." We laughed at this. Emmett was very competitive especially if he was playing against Edward. "We can go to your room to continue this conversation." Mom offered. I nodded and we went up. We sat down on my bed and after a little pause Mom continued from where we left off.

"So as I was saying you changed, honey, and when I saw yesterday how your eyes lit up when you mentioned Jasper's coming over I knew the reason for the change at once. I was very intrigued by this boy who had affected you so much." I felt a little embarrassed at my open behavior. But Mom continued. "And when he arrived today I watched you interact with him. I understood instantly."

"You did?" I asked incredulously as I had no idea about my own behavior.

"Oh, honey, you are in love." Mom grinned. I was stunned. Was I really in love? I had no idea. At my shocked expression Mom went on explaining. "Yes, you love Jasper it's written all over your face. When he was talking you hang on his every word and your eyes sparkled with happiness."

"But, Mom, I hardly know him." I protested.

"That's why they call it love at first sight." She smiled. "Am I right in assuming that you have been thinking about him ever since the first day you laid eyes on him?" She asked.

"Yes, but…" I started, but Mom interrupted.

"No but, Alice. You are in love, it is as simple as that." She put her hand on my shoulder in reassurance.

"I have never been in love." I mused.

"I know, honey. I knew that Edward and you were very different from Emmett. You like to take your time with people and you both were waiting for someone special. I can't tell you how happy I'm that both of you found love here." Mom said. "I can tell you that Jasper seems to be a very nice boy."

"I know. Isn't he gorgeous?" I asked dreamily which made Mom chuckle.

"Yes, honey, he is." She smiled. "So do you want talk about your feelings?"

"Well, I'm very confused about Jasper. I can't stop thinking about him." I said and decided to keep my inappropriate thoughts of him to myself. That was for a way different conversation. "I really enjoy being in his company. I always get nervous and excited at the same at the prospect of meeting him, but then he somehow always calms me down. These conflicting feelings drive me nuts. I can't even explain it." I huffed.

Mom smiled. "I understand you perfectly. When I had met your father I felt the same way, that's how I know it's love."

"But I don't think Jasper feels the same way." I said immediately depressed at the thought. "Isn't love at first sight supposed to be mutual?"

"Oh, honey, love can be different for everybody, there are no rules written in stone." She started to explain. "And Jasper seems very shy and private. Also don't forget that he lives with his grandfather so he has no one to talk to about his feelings. Maybe he is even more confused than you are."

"Do you really think that? Do you think I have a chance with him?" I asked eagerly. My mood immediately started to brighten at this insight.

"Yes, really. I was watching him, too." She winked at me.

"And?" I prompted.

"It seemed that he felt very comfortable with you. He doesn't seem to be the type who wears his heart on his sleeve, and maybe that's all he can deal with for now. Just be his friend and let him get to know you better." She said softly.

"Do you think he would be interested in me when he gets to know me better?" I asked a little disappointed that she hadn't noticed any signs of his affections to me.

"Of course, honey. What's not to like?" She asked and I knew she was my mother so she was biased; nonetheless it made me feel better. "I won't lie to you, it could take some time, but I think it would worth it in the end. Don't worry he will come around."

"Thanks." I said as I hugged her.

"You are very welcome, honey. That's what mothers are for." She hugged me back and whispered. "Be patient!"

When Mom closed the door behind herself I was left alone with my thoughts. Mom was right. I was in love with Jasper Whitlock. That explained everything I felt and thought about him. That was why I always felt so excited to see him and it also explained my indecent thoughts. I was in love and it felt wonderful. However, I was fairly certain that Jasper wasn't feeling the same, not yet at least and it was a big problem. How the hell do I make him fall in love with me? I had never tried to get a boy's attention before. They usually paid attention to me without any prompting from me, take Mike for example, but I had no idea what to do to get someone to be interested in me. I meant I didn't even know what kind of girls he was into. Would he want a bombshell like Rose or a quiet beauty like Bella? Would he find me attractive? I wasn't tall and I didn't have many curves, but I wasn't ugly either. I knew that Jasper wasn't superficial to care about looks too much, but I couldn't help wanting to be enough for him. And I was worried about how to act around him now that I knew I loved him. I was lost in thoughts so deeply that when my phone beeped it made me jump in surprised. I looked at my cell and saw it was a text from Jasper.

_I got home safely. Sweet dreams. Jasper_

I had to smile at his sweetness. I fell asleep with a smile on my face and finally I had a very peaceful night.

The next morning I was still anxious, but couldn't hide my eagerness. I was going to see Jasper again. Edward said that when we were at the Diner Jasper was looking at me more than at the others and as I was wearing a green sweater I decided to wear something green again. Maybe he liked me in that color. I chose to wear my forest green Roberto Cavalli ¾ sleeved top that had a V-neck and empire waist. I liked this top because it brought my eyes out, and it looked really good with black skinny jeans. I also wanted to wear high heels because Jasper was so much taller than me and I wanted to look into his beautiful blue eyes with more ease.

As we neared the parking lot of the school I was practically bouncing in my seat with repressed energy which of course was hilarious in Emmett's eyes. I quickly scanned the lot looking for Jasper's motorcycle and frowned when I didn't see it. Bella and Rose were already there so we walked up to them, but I couldn't join in their carefree chatter as I was becoming more and more agitated by the second. Then it happened. I heard the roar of a motorcycle and I whipped my head in the direction of the sound. It was him, and I felt my face lit up with a huge grin. And just like that all of my anxiety and nerves disappeared. I watched mesmerized as he hopped off his bike, took off his helmet and his hair fell into his face all messy and delicious. And when he shook his head and tried to tame his wild hair I was practically panting. I wished he walked across the lot to me, gathered me in his strong arm and kissed me senseless. Hmm… I wished… The loud sound of someone clearing their throat brought me back to reality. Rose and Bella giggled and Emmett was grinning, he was about to say no doubt something naughty that would have embarrassed the crap out of me, but fortunately Edward interfered.

"Come, Ali. We wouldn't want to be late from class." Edward said with a chuckle while putting his hand around my shoulder and leading me toward the building.

Upon arriving to the classroom I didn't waste time with sitting down and preparing my stuff instead I greeted Jasper.

"Good morning, Jasper!" I said while grinning like a fool.

"Hello, Alice." He drawled and I noticed that the corners of his mouth were curving up to a smile as if my mood was affecting him, too. I also noticed that his eyes lingered on my top a bit longer than necessary. _Yay, success!_ This was my new favorite shirt. Unfortunately, we didn't have time for more chatting as the teacher arrived and the period began. He gave us more information about our project and the class went by quickly. When the bell rang I stopped Jasper from going out.

"I was thinking that you could sit with us at lunch if you'd like." I offered with a warm smile. "You know, friends usually eat together." I desperately wanted him accepted it.

He looked at me sharply no doubt because of my referring to us as friends. I tried to express my sincerity with my eyes. At this point I wasn't above begging or shamelessly using my pout. But I didn't need to.

"Ok. Then see you at lunch, Alice." He smiled. I was so happy that Edward had to grab my arm and lead me to next class. All I could think of was that he accepted. _He was going to sit with us._

Needless to say I couldn't wait for lunch to roll around. I spent the last five minutes of class staring at the clock willing it to move faster. Edward and I were the first ones to arrive to our usual table. A couple of minutes later the others arrived as well. I immediately noticed when Jasper stepped in the cafeteria and unerringly walked toward us. I felt like I was high, finally Jasper was spending more time with me. _God, he was beautiful!_ After a while I was roused from my Jasper induced stupor and noticed that basically everyone was staring at us. I guess it was surprising that he was sitting with us and not alone. Jasper sat down next to me, after I gestured to the seat next to mine (yeah, like that was a surprise), and greeted everyone.

"How come every time I sit down to eat this dude is right there?" Emmett asked with a cheeky grin.

"Well, maybe because every time you sit down you eat." Edward answered and they started their familiar bickering. I just sighed at their immaturity, sometimes they really acted like children, even Edward. I glanced at Jasper and saw him reaching into his bag for his lunch. Ah, so he had home made meal that's why I had never seen him in the cafeteria's lunch line.

"You didn't buy your food here?" I asked just because I wanted to hear his voice.

"Yeah, it's cheaper to bring my own food than buy it. Plus there are some nasty tasting shit in there." He answered. It was the first time I had ever heard him swear. _It was hot!_ Especially in his sexy Southern drawl.

"Maybe I should bring my own food, too. It's healthier." I mused.

I couldn't shake off the feeling that someone was watching me so I casually glanced around the room. Soon I noticed that Lauren was shooting daggers at me with her eyes while seething with anger in her chair. Oh, yeah, I had almost forgotten that she had a crush on my Jasper. Wait _my_ Jasper? What was I thinking? He wasn't mine. I had no idea when did I turn into this possessive little monster. But it sure did sound good: _my Jasper_. I sighed deeply, this daydreaming wouldn't help with my purpose to be just friends with him. Instead I turned my attention back to my table and noticed that Rose and Jasper was talking about something. So I tuned in.

"Yeah, Rose, it runs smoothly although in the left turns it makes a rumbling noise." I heard Jasper say. "So far I haven't found its source." I wished I could talk cars too. Wait a minute! Did he just call her Rose? Emmett wasn't even allowed to call her that. That bonding over his motorcycle must have been very stimulating. _Great! And now I'm jealous of one my best friends!_ This love thing was driving me crazy.

I noticed that Emmett was watching Jasper suspiciously. I didn't know whether it was because of the obvious familiarity between him and Rose or because of my equally obvious fascination with him. I hoped it was the former.

"Hey, I didn't know that you were into bikes." Emmett said sounding genuinely surprised and interested.

"That's because you don't know me." Rose replied with a coy smile. "But I like bikes, cars, anything with an engine really." After that they engaged in more engine talk. I was getting frustrated; this was not how I pictured Jasper's first lunch with us.

"Am I right in assuming that all this car talk isn't to your liking?" Jasper asked me while leaning closer to me in order to create a semblance of privacy at the table. The pleasant tone of his voice coupled with the warm feeling of his closeness almost caused me to swoon. _Jesus, this boy was dead sexy!_

"Um… Not really." I answered somewhat breathlessly as he was still leaning close to me. "I don't like when I can't participate in a conversation."

"And what do you like to talk about?" _Was he trying to kill me with this sensual shit?_ His dark blue eyes bore into mine, and I realized that he was genuinely interested in what I had to say. This little sign of affection felt heavenly. The only problem was that I didn't know how to answer him. I had to be honest with him, but so far it seemed that we had very different interests. He liked history, books and bikes while I liked fashion and movies.

"Well, I really enjoy fashion." I replied. "But I guess that wouldn't interest you." I mused and tried to think of something that would engage him in conversation with me.

"Are you implying that I'm not fashionable?" I was horrified that I hurt his feelings by my thoughtless behavior, but when I looked at him I saw he was smiling at me with mischief in his eyes. I had no idea what the hell brought this behavior out of him, but I sure wasn't complaining. A quiet and brooding Jasper was sexy, but a teasing and carefree Jasper was damn straight the hottest thing I had ever seen.

"Now that you'd mentioned it…" I trailed of teasingly and I wrinkled my nose at him. I let my eyes wander over his clothes and when our eyes met we burst out laughing. Jasper laughed. It was a deep and musical sound. Not surprisingly I liked it, I liked it very much. I would have never expected him to laugh so soon, maybe he was getting more and more comfortable with me. I felt my heart swell in my chest at this thought. Oh God, how I loved Jasper!


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 7

_I was somewhere dark, I had no idea where. I started walking and noticed that I was passing a couple of booths. Was I in the Diner? How odd. I noticed that a little way ahead of me there was a flickering light and I saw a dark figure sitting there. I started to walk toward the shadowy person. The closer I got the familiar the figure became. I gasped as it was Jasper. At the sound of my quick intake of breath he looked at me and smiled lazily. "You kept me waiting a long time." Was all he said then he indicated the seat right next to him and I sat down without a word. I was hypnotized by his beauty, but more importantly by the look in his eyes. I had never seen that expression on him. It was pure lust. Before I could ask anything I suddenly felt his lips on mine, they very extremely soft and wet as he expertly molded his mouth to mine. First he applied just a bit of pressure, but gradually he increased it to a delicious extent. I moaned at the pleasure that he invoked in me and he used this opportunity to deepen the kiss. After what felt like an eternity I felt his tongue running along my lower lip and I instinctively opened my mouth to him. He wasted no time exploring my mouth as our tongues fought for dominance. I felt so hot and flush all over when he wound his hands in my hair. God, he certainly knew what he was doing and knew how to play my body to his satisfaction. I lifted and straddled his waist never breaking the kiss. When I grinded myself on the bulge in his pants, it was his time to moan. We pulled apart panting and breathing heavily. I looked into those haunting dark eyes and felt a wave of unadulterated lust wash over me. He opened his mouth to say something, but what came out was this horrible beeping sound. What the hell? I looked at him questioningly. "Jazz?"_

With a sudden bolt I sat straight up in my bed. _Holy shit!_ It was a dream, just a dream. I felt extremely wound up though. After a couple of minutes my breathing returned to normal and I realized that my alarm-clock was furiously beeping on my nightstand. I quickly shut it of. I had never felt this affected by a dream before. _Jesus, what a way to start a new day! _I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower. I needed a long, relaxing shower after this. Oh, God, how on earth was I going to be able to look Jasper in the eyes after this dream? When I would see him all I would be able to think of would be his lips on mine and his hands on my body. Lord, have mercy! Hmm… I called him Jazz in my dream. I liked that nickname, it suited him perfectly.

Nothing remarkable happened that they at school. As I had predicted as soon as I saw Jasper I blushed furiously and couldn't meet his eyes. I stuttered like an idiot and felt embarrassed beyond belief. But like so many times before Jasper calmed me down and he had never mentioned my weird behavior for which I was greatly thankful. When school was let out I noticed that Bella's face was tomato red and Edward was grinning like an idiot. I figured he had finally asked her out. I was very happy for them; at least everything went well for them.

However, by the time we arrived home I was very frustrated with myself and went up to my room sulking. My brothers stayed clear of me, they knew when I was in this mood it was better if they avoided me. I couldn't believe that I wasted a whole day building my friendship with Jasper because of my stupid dream. I let it affect my life way too much! I was lying on my bed berating myself for my stupidity when my phone rang. My heart was beating out of my chest and I reached for my cell with shaking hand as I was hoping that it was Jasper. However, when I noticed it was Bella I sighed deeply to calm myself and replied the call.

"Hey, Bella! What's up?" I asked trying to sound like my usual cheerful self.

"Hi, Alice! I guess you are wondering why I called you." She started and I heard her taking a deep breath before she continued. "So I get to the point directly. I assume you know that Edward had asked me out." It wasn't a question, but she paused anyway waiting for my reaction. I had to smile at this.

"Yes, Bella, I had a feeling about that." I said mildly. I could practically see her blushing at the other end of the line.

"Um… Yeah, and I need a favor." She said.

"Ok, Bella, how can I help you?" I asked sweetly. I had an idea about what it was.

"Can you come over tomorrow after school and help me get ready? Please." She said this very quickly. I couldn't stop my loud squeal at the news. She was voluntarily let me play dress up with her. I knew exactly how I wanted her to look on their first date so I readily agreed and hung up.

Well, their date ruined a little my plan for Friday night. I was planning to go the Diner again and see Jasper. Hmm… I didn't want to give up another chance to spend time with him and there was no way I was going there with Emmett. Wait a minute! That gave me a great idea: Rose. So I quickly called her.

"Hey, Rose! How are you?" I greeted her cheerfully. I had to smile as it was like how Bella greeted me.

"Hey, Alice! Considering we saw each other not an hour ago I'm still well." She said in her usual matter-of-fact way. "I guess it's more than just a social call. So spit it out. How can I help you?"

"Well, I was thinking that the both of us could go to the Diner Friday night. You know, we could talk as we usually only see each other during lunch. And Bella is going on a date with Edward." I explained.

"Wow. So Bella will actually start dating. I had never imagined that I would see the day…" She trailed off in her amusement. "Wait a minute! Are we going there because you want to spend time with me or because you want to see Jasper?"

I saw no reason to lie. "Both." I said simply. I heard her musical laugh. "I'm glad I amuse you. So can you come?"

"Sure, Alice. Who was I to stand in the way of true love?" She said still chuckling. I smiled too then we hung up.

I was lying on my bed studying for tomorrow's classes. I thought that I should get a sofa in my room after all it wasn't as stupid an idea as I originally thought when Edward put one in his room. It would make studying more comfortable. I should talk to Mom about it. I was musing over this when my door suddenly burst open and Emmett walked in. His abrupt appearance startled me and I jumped a little on my bed which made him laugh.

I sighed. "Emmett, I had told umpteenth time to knock on the door before you enter!" I said exasperated.

"Sorry, little sis, but I need to talk to you." He said completely unapologetic. He came in and plopped down on my bed making it groan under his weight.

"How can I help you, Emmy?" I asked deliberately using his most hated nickname. If I felt frustrated he should feel the same.

"No need to be mean, Ali." He said. "I want to talk to you about Rose." He began confidently. This peaked my interest; Emmett usually doesn't come to me with girl problems. But again, he had never had problems with girls before Rosalie.

"Ok, please continue." I said motioning with my hand to go on.

"Alright. I know that you are friends with her and knowing you I'm sure you talked to her about me, too." He said cocking an eyebrow at me daring me deny it.

"Huh. It's very presumptuous of you to think that we don't have other topics to discuss beside you." I retorted.

The corners of his mouth turned up in a devilish smile. "Oh, yeah?" He taunted me. "Like what? Discussing your huge crush on Jasper?" My mouth hung open. _Shit!_ He had noticed, but I guessed I was pretty obvious.

"What do you want to know?" I asked in a defeated voice.

"About Rose or about your crush?" He asked back.

"We are not talking about my crush, that's for sure." I said angrily.

He just laughed. "Oh, little sis, you see I wasn't completely sure about the Jasper thing, but thanks for the insight." He winked at me, and I cringed at my own stupidity. I was usually better at deflecting Emmett's tactics. "So about Rose…" He started and his voice immediately became softer. "Can you give me some tips about how to persuade her to go out with me? She keeps saying no to all of my attempts." He sounded so vulnerable. I had never seen him like this. Who would have thought that this tiny town in the middle of nowhere would change us all so much…

"Well, it's true we talked about you, Emmett, but I'm afraid she hadn't said anything that would be helpful to you." I said softly. What Rose had said was very private, and I was sure she would eventually tell him that herself.

"That sucks!" He cried. "Ok, anything that _you_ suggest? I mean you are good at matchmaking. Take Edward for example, you managed to land even him a date." He said with an exaggerated eyebrow wiggle. I burst out laughing, there's the Emmett I knew.

"To tell you the truth I didn't do much with Edward. I only made sure that he had spent time with Bella outside of school." I said while forming an idea in my head. "I certainly can do the same for you."

"How?" He asked becoming excited at the new development. "Like going to the Diner together so you can Jasper-watch again?"

I hit him on his head. "Do you want to hear my plan or not?" I asked annoyed.

"Of course, tell me every detail of your master plan."

I ignored his sarcasm and shared my ideas. "First of all, only Rose and I are going to go to the Diner this Friday." I held up my hand when he wanted to interrupt me. "And not just because of Jasper. Second, I thought that we could host a movie night on Saturday. Mom and Dad go to that gala in Seattle so we can invite the others over and have fun. You can show Rose that you are capable to act normal, too." I finished with a smile at his indignant expression.

"Ok, that sounds like a good plan." He said thoughtfully, and then he raised one eyebrow at me. "The 'others'" he used air quotes at the word "include Jasper as well?"

I sighed deeply at this. Of course I wanted to invite him, too. I would give anything to spend more time with him, but I knew it maybe a little too much and too soon for him. I would have to try to persuade him to come, but I wouldn't pressure him. Besides if he wouldn't come I would be the fifth wheel and that sucked.

"Yes, I will invite him, but I doubt he will come." I said and the disappointment in my voice was all too audible.

"Well, Ali, I have to tell you that the idea of you dating anyone is freaking me out, but this Jasper dude seems nice enough." He said; see he could be serious when he wanted to. "I hope it works out for you." Well, that was a surprising development. It seemed that everyone just simple liked Jasper. He was certainly very likeable…

At dinner I informed Edward about his plans for the weekend and also told him that I would help Bella get ready. Surprisingly he was okay with all of this, he usually got angry at me for interfering. Hmm… interesting. It seemed that the key to bend him to my will was a small dark haired girl. I could have serious fun with this. I suppressed the urge to laugh evilly. Edward simply raised his eyebrow warningly at me, he knew what I was thinking. I just smiled at him innocently.

As that night I didn't have any sexy dream about Jazz I could act like my normal self the next day. Jasper was sitting with us at lunch and I was debating with myself whether I should invite him now or later at the Diner. But then I remembered how he acted there the last time which was a rather polite indifference, and beside everyone was here.

"So my parents go out of town on Saturday and I thought you can come over to watch movies with us." I knew I said it kind of out of the blue, but I had no idea what would be a good introductory line. However, everyone readily accepted except for Jasper. So I turned to him.

"And what about you, Jasper? Can you come over?" I asked softly while looking into those fathomless eyes. He looked exceptionally delicious today. He was wearing a dark grey sweater with a navy blue button-down shirt underneath it which made his eyes look almost violet. A tight fitting pair of jeans that emphasized his cute little ass. _So what if I shamelessly ogled him earlier?_ And of course he was wearing his usual boots.

"I'm working on Saturday." He simply said. It wasn't a definite no, but for the life of me I couldn't read the expression on his face.

"How long?" I asked and hastily added. "Because we would meet around 6 or 7. It's kind of an evening type of activity." I was looking at him from under my eyelashes not bothering to hide my eagerness for him to come. He turned to me and studied my face looking for signs of I don't know what. The magical bubble that his closeness created was interrupted by Emmett, but this time he did it for my benefit.

"Come on, dude!" He started. "You have to come over or else Alice is going to be a pain in the ass ruining our evening." He winked at me over Jasper's head so he wouldn't see.

Jasper sighed deeply. "Alright, I'll go over. I finish at the Diner at 4, but I have to go home first so I can go around 6." I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. I didn't know whether he had accepted because of me or of my brother, but sure as hell I was happy. _Jasper was going to watch movies with me. _Well, us, but that was beside the point.

"You can come over whenever you want." I said excitedly bouncing a little in my seat. Jasper flashed me a devastating smile, as a reaction to my visible happiness, which made me melt.

Jasper and I walked side by to our next class and I was still riding high over the progress we made during lunch. Fortunately, in Biology we had to do lab so that made it possible for us to talk a little. I was busy thinking about the best way to inquire what movies he liked when he spoke up.

"So, Alice, where were you born?" He asked, but I was totally stunned. Okay, I did not see that coming, it was so out of the blue that I just stared at him for a couple of seconds. "I just figured if we are _friends_, then I should know some things about you." He explained, and I made a happy dance inside at the fact that he thought of us as friends.

"Well, Edward and I were born in Chicago. Mom and Dad were there at a convention as Mom wasn't due for at least two more months. We were born premature, but fortunately we hadn't suffered from any lasting disorder." I felt immense pleasure sharing this with Jasper so I added. "But we lived in Anchorage. We moved here because Mom wanted to live in safer and smaller town." I said and as I felt encouraged by his question I asked him back.

"And what about you? I know that in Texas, but which city were you born?" I smiled at him. I immediately noticed that he tensed at my question and I was about to backtrack when he answered.

"In San Antonio." It was his tight lipped answer. After a little awkwardness he relaxed a bit, and the conversation continued on mainly about my family. Jasper had said that he didn't have any siblings and I noticed that he wasn't too keen on talking about his family. I remembered what Bella had said about it, and I desperately wanted him to confine in me about his family, but I let it pass. In time I hoped he would trust me enough to tell.

After school I told Bella that I would be over at her house at 4 to help her, and told Rose that I would pick her up at 5ish depending on when Bella got ready. When I told her I had a Porsche her mouth hung open and her eyes were as wide as saucers. I giggled at her reaction and she made me promise that once I would let her drive it.

At home I decided to change my clothes for the evening. I knew that Jasper liked me in green, but I couldn't wear that color all the time. I had to find something that would look really good on me, even sexy a little so I started to rummage through my closet. I found a lovely dressy top in deep violet color that had a V-neck and it hugged my upper body as a second skin. I matched it with knee-length black pencil skirt. It was perfect with my black stiletto high heel shoe. I knew that I might look a little overdressed for Forks Diner, but I didn't care, I only dressed for Jasper. I thought about our conversation earlier, and I smiled to myself when I remembered how he had said goodbye with a see you on Saturday. _Silly Jazzy, we would see each other again today._ Soon it was time for me to leave for Bella's. I didn't have to help Edward because he would rather die than let me dress him. But we were twins so I trusted his taste.

Bella was a nightmare to dress up. I knew exactly what dress she should wear for their date, but she looked at the dress so horrified like I was showing her some kind of racy underwear. I sighed and decided to compromise with her. Finally, we agreed on a midnight blue dressy shirt with black skinny jeans. I wouldn't budge on the color as I knew it was Edward's favorite and it looked especially good on her. However, there wasn't any kind of compromise or persuasion that would get her to wear high heels. So I let her wear her usual converse shoes. Makeup was another troublesome topic. I packed my makeup kit as I suspected that Bella wouldn't have any usable stuff. I didn't want to put a lot of makeup on her as she had great skin, I just wanted to enhance her beauty. But making her see that was problematic.

"Bella, I don't want to use a lot of product just a light touch." I said, but when I saw her shake her head I continued. "What about my makeup? What do you think about that?" I asked. I didn't use much just a bit of eyeliner and mascara, blusher and a bit of rose lipstick.

She looked at me and said. "Oh, Alice, you look really beautiful. Your dress is gorgeous, too."

"Thanks. So why don't you trust me? I wouldn't do anything to make you ridiculous. I promise." I said then emphasized my point with a please. She relented and I got to work. I made her eyes look even deeper, but I didn't use blusher on her. She could produce that naturally. When I finished with her hair, too, I let het look at herself in the mirror.

"All ready. Now you can look!" I said and bounced a little in anticipation of her reaction.

"Wow!" She had just stood there looking at herself for long minutes before speaking again. "I look truly pretty. Thank you, Alice! You are a magician." I laughed at her praises.

"Oh, come on. You have already had the perfect material, I just helped you enhance it." I said. "And Edward will have a heart attack when he sees you." Bella blushed at my compliment. I hoped that my brother was prepared for this.

"So do you know where we are going?" Bella asked after her blush calmed down.

"Of course I know." I replied. "But I'm not allowed to reveal that information." I smiled at her which just made her huff. "Let him surprise you. You will love it!"

"Ok. You look truly lovely, Alice." She complimented me again. "Is this all for Jasper's benefit?" She asked with a sly smile.

"Maybe." I smirked at her.

"Poor guy! You will make it hard for him to concentrate on his work." She said and I hoped that at least he would notice it.

Soon it was time for me to meet Rose so I said goodbye to Bella and I wished her luck for their date. I knew that Edward was already on the way over. When I arrived to Rose's she reacted to the car as expected: she all but swooned at the sight. She made some sly comment on my outfit and Jasper.

"So are you ready for Jasper-watching?" She asked when I parked the car at the Diner's parking lot. I looked at her incredulously.

"Did Emmett and you talk this through?" I asked, but her blank expression I elaborated. "He also referred to this as Jasper-watching."

"We didn't. It just really a fitting name." She said. Wow. She and Emmett were really made for each other. If only she saw it, too.

In the Diner I immediately headed in the direction of Jasper's section. Rose followed me while shaking her head. We sat down in a booth and I looked around hoping to spot Jasper soon. But I frowned at what I saw. All the girls in the Diner were sitting in Jasper's section. What the hell? Rose rightly interpreted my look when she commented.

"I guess you made Jasper even more desirable with opening him up." She said and I whipped my head towards her.

"What the hell do you talk about?" I didn't understand, Jasper was still very closed off.

"Well, his sitting with us at lunch was pretty unheard of before you. So the girls, who weren't hooked up on your brothers, came to the conclusion that now Jasper was ready to date." She explained. My frowned deepened at this thought. That was really not my intention at all. I wanted Jasper all to myself. I knew it sounded possessive and jealous, but hell. I was in love with the boy.

"Relax, Alice." Rose said. "Okay, they all want him. So what?"

"So what?" I repeated in an incredulously voice.

"Yes, it doesn't mean that he is interested, too. I mean if he didn't notice them before why would he do that now?"

"I guess, you are right, but it's still unsettling…" My voice trailed off as I caught sight of Jasper himself. _Oh, God, what a gorgeous boy!_ He looked so sharp and neat in his waiter uniform, a total opposite of his usual getup. Not surprisingly I liked both looks. He was walking towards us and when he saw me he smiled a beautiful smile. I thought I was melting until I felt a sharp pain in my shin. Rose kicked me under the table. I looked at her. _What the hell?_

"Stop staring at him like that. You were looking at him like you wanted to devour him or something." She whispered quickly. So I tried to compose myself, but hell, I wanted to tackle his gorgeous ass to the floor and have my wicked way with him. _Good God! Major hot flash_. It wasn't helping that he arrived to our table.

"Welcome, ladies!" He greeted us with a gentle smile.

I was mesmerized by his lips. "Hello!" I said in a dreamy voice. I wanted to slap myself. _Get a grip you idiot!_ Both Rose and Jasper were looking at me funny. So I cleared my throat.

"Um… Do you have milkshakes?" I asked Jasper trying to direct his attention back to his job and away from my stupidity.

"Yes, we certainly have." He replied. "In what taste would you like?"

"Vanilla." I figured I should stick to one word sentences until I got myself under control. I saw that Rose could barely contain her laughter at my expense. Rose ordered a coke and Jasper went away to place our order and to give us time to choose the food. I didn't like the way he behaved. While it was friendlier than the last time, it was still far from what I wanted. He didn't even comment on my outfit.

When he left Rose burst out laughing and I buried my head in my hands.

"I can't believe I'm acting like a moron!" I muttered under my breath.

When Rose calmed down she tried to comfort me. "It's not that bad!" I looked at her sharply. "Oh, come on! Maybe he thinks it's cute." She smiled widely at me, but I just huffed. Soon Jasper came back with our drinks, and we ordered food, too. Rose ordered some salad and I ordered a garden burger again. As it was a busy night Jasper was pretty much focusing on his job. I felt physically sick when I saw all those girls flirting with him. I hoped that I wasn't acting that desperate or obvious. Rose noticed my preoccupation.

"You know if you stare at him more intently, you will make him burst into flames."

"But all those girls… flirting…" I couldn't even form sentences.

"Oh, for God's sake!" Rose cried causing me to look at her sharply. "But he isn't flirting back. Can't you see that? Try for a minute forget the fact that he is the hottest guy you've ever seen, and concentrate on his reactions, too." She emphasized her exasperation with a dramatic eye roll. So I did just that, and I had to admit that she was right. Jasper was acting in his usual reserved way. I sighed a huge sigh of relief, and our conversation turn to different topics, and thankfully I could pay attention. Rose said that she would go out with Emmett soon, she just wanted to sweat him for a little bit more. I had to laugh at this. Emmett certainly deserved it.

Soon we paid for our bill and we were about to leave when I noticed that Jasper stepped closer to me. I lifted my head to look at his face. He leaned close to my ear and whispered.

"By the way, you look very lovely!" Then he walked back into the kitchen. I was staring after him with an open mouth. _He had noticed!_ I thought I was on cloud nine for the rest of the evening. I even let Rose drive my car.

* * *

><p>PS. Thanks for your lovely reviews. I really appreciate them.<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 8

Rose drove my car to her house as I was in a blissful state that made me incapable of driving. Fortunately by the time I got home I started to calm down. Mom and Dad were snuggled up together on the sofa watching something on TV. When I stepped in the living room Mom turned toward me.

"Hello, honey. How was your night?" She asked in a sweet noise.

"Excellent." I relied with a dreamy smile. I barely registered that Mom and Dad shared a secretive smile between themselves. Dad offered to watch TV with them, but I declined, I wouldn't be able to pay attention, anyway. As I turned toward the stairs I realized that Emmett wasn't with them.

"Where's Emmett?" I asked.

"He said that he wouldn't stay here with us old people if his siblings were out having fun without him so he made plans for himself." Dad answered with a head shake at the term old people, and continued. "He went bowling with a couple of guys from school." I felt a little bad for Emmett because it really seemed that we had forgotten about him. I bid good nigh to my parents and went to my room.

In my room I unerringly went to my desk to look at the drawing that Jasper gave me. I simply looked at it for long minutes and it made me think about the boy who drew it. I was so in love with him, and it wasn't just because of his great beauty. I knew that there were still a lot of things that I didn't know about him, but I was eager to find out what made him thick. I also knew that I was so deeply in love that there weren't anything that would make me change my mind or heart. It seemed that Jasper was stuck with me even though he didn't know it yet. If only he felt the same… With a final glance at the picture I roused myself. I decided that I want to get this picture framed and put it on my wall right above my desk. This way I could look at it from everywhere in my room. Tomorrow I would ask Mom's help with it. It was still relatively early in the evening so I decided to browse the net for new trends and clothes.

I was about to order a really pretty blue silk top when I heard Edward's voice downstairs. So he had come home from his date. I wouldn't harass him about it tonight, I let him enjoy it privately, but tomorrow there wouldn't be stopping me. Later I went to shower and then when I settled in my bed I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in!" I called out. It was Edward.

"Hello, Ali! I just came by to say good night." He said softly. I immediately noticed a change in his usual brooding nature. Yes, my brother was in love.

"Good night, Edward!" I said then added with a smile. "We talk tomorrow."

He gave a little laugh at that and said. "Yes, I was counting on it." He waved a last time then closed the door behind himself. I slowly drifted off to sleep hoping that Jasper was going to pay me a visit in my dreamland.

The next morning I woke up pleasantly rested and quite excited for the day to begin. _Jasper was coming over!_ It wasn't too early when I went down to the kitchen to breakfast still my brothers were fast asleep in their bedrooms. However, Mom and Dad were there. Mom was making pancakes and Dad was sipping his morning coffee. I really liked the smell of freshly brewed coffee, but unfortunately I wasn't allowed to drink it. I was hyper enough without added caffeine.

"Good morning, honey!" Mom greeted me. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, thanks." I smiled at her. She put the pancakes in front of me just as my stomach rumbled loudly. We laughed at that and I started to eat hurriedly.

"So for today…" My dad started in his official voice which was always effective in getting our attention. "I've already told Edward yesterday, but he is in charge of you kids for the day." That wasn't surprising. Edward was always in charge when Mom and Dad left us alone despite that Emmett was older. Edward was more mature and my parents trusted him to keep Emmett out of trouble. They weren't that worried about me, but I couldn't control my brothers at all.

"Okay." I nodded.

"And as I didn't cook yesterday you can order food or Emmett can cook something." Mom said. Food. That was the only thing they let Emmett have control over. Actually he was quite the cook; he could cook almost as well as Mom.

When the boys finally wandered downstairs all sleepy and rumpled, Mom and Dad was ready to leave. They mumbled their goodbyes and went to the kitchen to consume all of Mom's delicious pancakes. I walked with Mom to the car and waved to them as they drove out of the driveway. Back in the house I went to the kitchen to sketch out the plans for today to my brothers.

"So I thought…" I started out excitedly, but Emmett rudely interrupted.

"Ali, please, not this early in the morning." He said still sounding sleepy. "I'm not awake enough to deal with your hyperactive pixie ways." Edward and Emmett started to call me a pixie a couple of years ago when I first cut my hair. They had said that it had made me look like a little pixie. I didn't particularly like that nickname. I just huffed at him while Edward quietly laughed at my side. I decided to give them some time to wake up entirely so I went back to my room to get ready for the day.

It was important to find the most suitable outfit for today. I couldn't dress up as I wanted to because I was at home and it would look weird. So I had to find something that was comfy and at the same time nice. Well, here was a challenge! Finally I chose to wear a pair of jean shorts with a purple and black short sleeved shirt. It was quite warm in the house so it was appropriate plus it showed off my figure quite nicely. I applied a little mascara for my eyelashes, but that was all the makeup I used. While I was getting ready I heard Emmett starting to work out in the gym as was his habit and judging from the sounds of soft piano music Edward was in the music room. Perfect!

Quietly I headed in the direction of the music room, but I paused for a minute in the doorway. Edward must have sensed that I was standing there because he started playing the song that he had written for me. I had to smile at this. I really liked this song. Edward had written both Mom and me a song. Without saying a word I walk toward him and sat down next to him on the stool, he never broke the song. When he finished, he let the last sound just rang out in the room. We sat next to each other in complete silence; I was the first to break it.

"Thank you." I said softly. The song always had that effect on me. It somehow moved me even though it wasn't a sad melody, it was upbeat and perky. It was just like how Edward saw me.

"You are welcome." He replied just as softly. Soon I composed myself and started to get excited as I remembered why I came here. Edward chuckled at the visible change in my mood as I started bouncing a little.

"Something on your mind, Ali?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You bet there is!" I cried. "Come on! You know I want to hear about your date!"

He sighed, but started speaking without any more prompting on my part. "Bella really liked the restaurant so thanks for the tip." He paused for a minute and his face changed in a dreamy expression, no doubt recalling the night before. "Also thanks for helping her get ready. She looked truly beautiful. She was exquisite." I laughed quietly to myself; I knew he was going to like her dress. I urged him on with my eyes. "When we finished dinner, we went to a nearby park to take a stroll. We just talked all night long." He finished with a contented smile.

"So, did you kiss her?" I asked after I saw that he wasn't going to tell me this particular detail on his own.

"Yes." He simply said and then grinned at me. I squealed in excitement.

"I'm so happy for you!" I clapped my hands together as I bounced in my seat.

"Thanks, Ali." He said and put his hands on mine in an attempt to calm me. "So how was _your_ night?" He asked and that immediately sobered me.

"Well, it was good and bad in equal measures." I said quietly.

His expression instantly changed to concern. "What happened?" He asked.

"It was good because Jasper complimented me, but it was bad because that was all that happened. He was concentrating on his job." I said and Edward put his hand on my shoulder in a comforting gesture.

"It's okay, Alice. Give him time." He said. "Besides, look at the bright side. He is coming over tonight." He winked at me and I had to laugh. He always knew what to say to lift my spirit.

Fortunately, we didn't have to order food as Emmett was in the mood to create something really delicious, stuffed eggplant. I had no idea what was in it, but I sure loved it as I ate so much that I hardly could move. While we were lounging in the living room with full stomachs I stroke up a conversation about the evening ahead.

"So what movies should we watch tonight?" I asked in a sleepy voice. Every time I ate too much I became extremely sleepy. I stifled a yawn. I was wondering to myself as to what we should watch. We couldn't watch chick flicks with the guys present and they couldn't watch action flicks with us. We had to find common ground. While Edward and Emmett started a playful argument about what was best to watch my thoughts swayed to Jasper. What movies would he like? Would he like action movies or historical pieces? I haven't had an opportunity to find out yet. Maybe tonight… I was pulled back to reality when I heard Edward ask something.

"So what do you think, Ali?"

"Um… what?" I asked trying to act nonchalant. It didn't fool anybody if Emmett's booming laugh and Edward's chuckle was any indication.

"Oh, little sis, that Jasper dude must be doing something really well. You are so hung upon him…" I didn't let Emmett finish his sentence as I threw a cushion square at his head. That though didn't shut him up only made him laugh harder.

"I said that I think a comedy would be best because everybody can enjoy that." Edward said still amused at my daydreaming.

"Oh, I know just the movies!" I said wide awake with my excitement. "We could watch _The Hangover_ or _I Love You, Man_. Or we can also watch some animation like _How to Train Your Dragon_ or _Mary and Max_."

"Okay, but we will let the others have a say in it." Edward said arching an eyebrow in warning.

"By the others you mean Bella?" I asked not stepping down from a challenge.

"Eddie boy, you are so whipped! And after only one date." For some reason Emmett found this hilarious as he continued laughing. Edward and I simply exchanged an amused look.

"Speaking of whom, Bella texted me and said that she and Rosalie were coming over at 5." Edward informed us. This information caught Emmett's whole-hearted attention.

I couldn't resist teasing him as a payback for his earlier comment. "And now who is hung upon someone?"

"Well, at least I don't daydream about Rosie all day long and I don't drool upon seeing her." Emmett smirked at me. How there he! I started throwing things at his head some hit him others didn't. It got to the point that Edward had to interfere. See, Mom and Dad knew what they were doing when they put Edward in charge. Without him, Emmett and I would kill each other.

True to Bella's words, she and Rose arrived at 5 sharp. It was so cute watching Edward and Bella all awkward about how to greet each other in front of us all. They settled for simply a hug. I saw that Emmett was about to say a lewd comment so as to stop him I complimented Rose on her car.

"Yeah, well it's not a Porsche, but at least it's better than Bella's ancient truck." She said.

"Hey!" Bella protested from under Edward's arm. He had his arm around her waist hugging her tightly to him. "Don't hate the truck! It runs perfectly fine."

"Yes, because I put a lot of work in it." Rose retorted. "Without me it would have been in a junkyard for a long time."

We walked to the living room and I offered Rose the grand tour of our house as Bella had already seen it plus Edward was monopolizing her. I was getting excited by the minute as I knew that soon Jasper would be here, too. After our tour we all settled in the living room. Edward and Bella snuggled up together on one of the love seats and that left me with Rose and Emmett on the sofa. I noticed that Emmett was acting quite decent with no sly comment or teasing suggestion in sight. Suddenly my cell beeped on the coffee table and I all but pounced at it. I was hyperventilating thinking it was Jasper.

_I'm on my way. Be there in 20. Jasper_

A huge smile lit up my face. He was on his way here. I bounced excitedly in one place until I looked up and saw that everybody was looking at me amused.

"Um… That was Jasper." I said a little embarrassed.

"Yes, we gathered that." Edward said sarcastically. "What did he say?"

"He will be here in 20 minutes." I couldn't hide my eagerness. I couldn't wait to see him again. Emmett started laughing and I just stuck my tongue out at him.

In 20 minutes I heard the roar of Jasper's motorcycle and I couldn't sit still anymore. My heart was beating frantically in my chest and I was afraid it would crack a rib or two. When I heard the doorbell I dashed for the door. I heard the others chuckle in the living room, but I didn't give a damn. Jasper was here. I opened the door and I thought I was going to faint at the sight. Jasper was standing on my doorstep in a pair of black stone washed jeans that was stuck into his boots whose tongue was sticking out. His leather jacket was open revealing a sky blue button down shirt. His hair was all messy from the helmet that he was holding in his right hand. _Damn, he was shit hot sexy!_

He flashed me one of his gorgeous smiles and greeted me. "Well, hello Alice!"

I reminded myself that I had to act as nonchalantly as possible. I couldn't let him notice how much he was affecting me, at least not now. _Well, it's easier said than done!_

"Hi, Jasper!" I greeted in a normal voice. "Come on in!"

I stepped aside so he could walk in, and as he moved past me I was hit with the smell of his aftershave. It was a musky and masculine smell mixed with the fragrance that was all Jasper, and I had to stifle a moan at this heady scent. _Shit!_

"Where can I put this?" His bass voice roused me from my lusty stupor and saw that he was indicating his helmet.

"Oh, you can put it here." I pointed to the shoe rack to his left. He turned to put the helmet down and then proceeded to take his jacket off. I simply stood there watching mesmerized his graceful movements. _Oh God, I was totally staring! Great, I was struck stupid again by his gorgeous face! _Shouldn't it be the other way around? Shouldn't it be him who was struck by my beauty? On the bright side though, he didn't seem to be struck by Rose's beauty either.

"Um… Alice?" Once again his voice cut through my insane mental rambling.

"Oh, yes." I blushed deeply. "Come, everybody is in the living room!"

I led the way, but just as we were about to enter, I quickly glanced behind to check that he was coming and I saw that Jasper was checking my ass out. I fought the huge smug grin that threatened to break across my face. _Yay! I couldn't believe it!_ It seemed that my Jazzy was an ass man. I made a mental note to look for clothes that emphasized my bottom. I barely resisted the urge to giggle hysterically at this new development.

In the living room Jasper greeted the boys with a handshake and said quick hello to the girls. I quickly composed my gleeful thoughts and turned to the object of my affections.

"Can I get you anything, Jasper?" I asked with a smile.

"Actually, a glass of water would be nice." He answered and I wondered if he always would be this polite.

"Oh, we have orange juice or coke if you like!" I encouraged.

He gave me his heart melting smile and said. "Then I'd like some juice." I giggled as I realized that it was usually him who got my orders. So I told him so.

"So it seems." It was his only reply. I gestured to him to sit and I proceeded to go to the kitchen.

A couple of minutes later I came back and handed him the drink. I watched in fascination as he gulped down the whole glass in one go. I focused on his Adam's apple as it was moving up and down with every swallow. _Okay, he made even drinking sexy!_

"Wow, man! Thirsty much?" Emmett asked impressed.

"Sorry." Jasper smiled shyly. "But today Grandpa cooked and he was very generous with the salt." He explained. I was instantly interested, it was the first time he volunteered information about his grandfather.

"You said that he cooked today." I started cautiously, but the expression on his face was encouraging so I continued. "Does that mean that usually he isn't the one who do it?"

"No. Usually I cook for us, but today I didn't have time so he volunteered." He chuckled to himself no doubt about that particular memory. So Jasper could cook. Hmm… He really was perfect. I wondered whether he would cook me once… My musings were interrupted by Emmett's booming voice.

"So, Jasper my man, are you up for a little Xbox fun?" Emmett said while enthusiastically rubbed his hands together. I immediately gave him a death glare. What the hell was he doing? He couldn't take Jazz away from me, not when he was opening up a little. At first Emmett just looked at me blankly, but then I saw realization dawn on his face. But it was too late as Jasper accepted.

"Yeah, sure. I usually don't have the opportunity to play." He said softly.

When Edward could finally pull himself away from Bella, the boys went down to the basement to play. As Emmett left he shot me an apologetic look.

On the bright side, it gave me the perfect opportunity to interrogate Bella. When I calmed down a little, I turned my attention to the dark haired girl with a gleam in my eyes.

"So Bella! How was your Friday night?" I asked and saw that now Rose was listening, too. Our pointed looks caused Bella to blush.

"It was really really good." She replied softly.

"Okay, getting to the point: did he kiss you?" It was Rose who asked this. Of course I knew the answer, but I was intrigued by her strange tone.

"Yes." Bella whispered while blushing crimson.

"Well, thank God, you have finally kissed a boy! I started to give up hope!" Rose cried and made an exaggerated move to wipe her forehead. Bella stuck her tongue at her, but I just looked at them in confusion. What the hell was that about?

At my blank expression Rose explained. "That was Bella's first kiss." Comprehension dawn on my face and it was my turn to blush. I have never kissed a boy either. Once again Rose read correctly my expression.

"Oh my God, Alice! Don't tell me that you are as shy and little Miss Innocent as Bella!" Rose raised her eyebrows in a challenge.

"No." I said confidently. It wasn't something that I was embarrassed about. "I have never met someone that I wanted to kiss before. I rather wait for a long time than waste that magical first kiss on somebody who didn't deserve it." Both of them looked at me and I saw that Bella felt the same way. However, Rose had a dangerous gleam in her eyes.

"Okay! Then we have to make sure that Jasper will rise to the occasion!" She said, and then raised an eyebrow. "What? I know you want to jump his fine ass!" She declared and we all fell about laughing. And this was the position that the boys later found us.

Edward settled back next to Bella on one of the love seats while Emmett plopped down next to Rose on the other grinning at her like a fool. And he was accusing me of acting like a love-struck fool with Jasper. However, this arrangement to my delight left Jasper no other place but the one next to me on the sofa. I frowned when I saw that he sat down at a respectable distance from me. _If the mountain won't come to Mohammed, then Mohammed must go to the mountain_ I thought to myself. So barely noticeably I started itching closer to him while the conversation continued around the room. When I deemed that I was close enough I stopped, not wanting to overwhelm him. Quickly the conservation turned to movies and I perked up about it again.

"So I thought we could watch a comedy and then an animation if that's all right." I said enthusiastically. When everybody agreed I continued. "I thought about _The Hangover_ and _How to Train Your Dragon_. Have you guys seen that?" I asked.

"Well, Bella and I have already seen that animation, but the comedy is fine." Rose said matter-of-factly.

I turned my questioning gaze to Jasper. "I didn't see either of them so I'm fine with anything." He replied with a shrug.

"Okay then, girls have you seen the animation _Mary and Max_?" I continued my questioning.

"No, but I heard it's good." This time it was Bella who answered.

"Then it's settled. We are going to watch _The Hangover_ and then _Mary and Max_." I said while clapping my hands together and bouncing on the couch in excitement.

"But before you get ahead of yourself, pixie, I go to the kitchen to fix us popcorn." Emmett said with a smirk.

I couldn't help but exclaim. "Yay!" Emmett made a mean popcorn. He wouldn't tell anyone what he put on it, but it was truly delicious.

Suddenly Jasper turned to me and asked. "Alice, can I have another glass of juice?"

"Of course!" I replied with a huge smile. I couldn't explain it, but it felt good to give him something even if it was just juice. I stood up and walked to the kitchen hoping that Jasper would again check me out. I decided to give him the whole box as it seemed that he was really thirsty. I went back to the living room and sat down exactly where I had sat before, close enough to Jazzy. I put the box on the coffee table and handed him the glass. He gulped it down, too. I noticed that he was holding in his lap my movie book. As we had a lot of movies, it was both mine and Dad's pleasure, I decided last year to organize them according to title in a book. Each movie had an assigned number making it easier to find when needed. I had been so much fun organizing them!

"Anything you like?" I asked him nodding to the book.

"Oh, yes. You really have a lot of movies." He said.

"Well, my dad loves them as much as me so we collect them together. You know, a little father daughter bonding time." I explained to him softly. I saw this as the perfect opportunity to ask the question that I wanted to for so long. "So what kind of movies do you like?"

He thought for a moment before answering. "I guess there isn't any specific genre I like. I prefer those films that are original and keep you guessing all the time."

"I thought you would say that you like historical movies about the Civil War." I giggled.

"Well, there are very few good movies about the war so I prefer the documentaries on that topic. But you were right, I do like historical movies." He said with a gently smile. I loved his smiles, they were so beautiful. "And I see that you have quite the collection of these films." He pointed to the book.

"Yes, my dad is a big fan of them." I wished I could say that those were mine. I sighed at this thought. When I looked at Jasper he was smirking at me. What the hell?

"I see. So, for example _Pride and Prejudice_ was your father's choice." He teased me and I had to laugh.

"No." I smiled. "That is one of my favorites." I grinned proudly.

We were so deep in our conversation that I practically forgot that others were in the room, too. So I jumped a little when Bella exclaimed a bit loudly.

"Is it the original BBC one or the newer?" She asked and I could see that she was very interested in the answer.

"It's the original." I said as I turned to her. "I think that there is only one Mr. Darcy and that is Colin Firth." I declared and both Rose and Bella agreed while the guys only chuckled.

Soon Emmett rose and went to the kitchen to prepare the popcorn. When he was ready it was already 8 so we started watching _The Hangover_. Emmett had dimmed the lights when he walked back in. First I was a little nervous to be this close to Jasper in the dark, but as usually he somehow calmed me. I really enjoyed this peaceful atmosphere that surrounded him. I looked around the room and saw that Bella and Edward were snuggled up together, and Rose and Emmett were suspiciously close to each other. I so wished that I could get snuggled up to Jasper, too, but I knew that he wasn't ready for that. We were quiet with the occasional laugh or comment on what we had seen. In the dark I experimented with how closer I could get to Jasper without him noticing or tensing. I was ecstatic when I realized that I could get close enough to almost touch his arm. Fortunately, he didn't make any move to get away; in fact it seemed that he didn't even notice my closeness. As we were in the middle of watching the second movie I felt my eyes dropping closed and I struggled to keep them open, but it was a losing battle. Sleepily I felt as my head dropped to the side and it rested on something soft and warm. It was such a peaceful and comfortable feeling that I fell asleep within seconds with the last thought lingering in my mind of whether I had fell asleep on the gorgeous boy next to me.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 9

The next couple of weeks passed in a similar fashion. The movie night became something of a routine for all of us. Jasper usually joined us, but there were times when he politely declined. Edward and Bella were going steady, he invited her over often for dinner and he introduced her to our parents as his girlfriend. Bella in turn introduced him to her father, the Police Chief. I would have loved to be present at that occasion. Eventually, Emmett got Rose to agree to a date with him and they had gone out very recently. Rose sure made my brother wait for her, and I thought she was right in that because now Emmett respected her for it. I was very happy for my brothers, but I couldn't help to be a little sad as things between Jasper and me were still the same. I wasn't complaining as he was opening up more and more as he became more comfortable in our friendship, but I couldn't help wondering. Maybe he only wanted to be my friend and nothing more. Maybe I wasn't his type. But then why was he giving me these looks and compliments? It always gave me hope, but nothing ever came out of them. I knew that he didn't do this to me intentionally, he couldn't help being irresistible.

With each day I became more and more depressed, everyone was worried about me. Even Jasper had commented on the change in my usual cheerful mood and asked me about it. I had really wanted to shout at him that he was the cause of my depression, but instead I just brushed it off. It wasn't his fault that he didn't love me. However, my love for him was still strong and unbreakable despite of everything. The more I knew about him the more I loved him. It was as simple as that. His friendship comforted me to a certain extent and I was willing to do anything to keep him in my life. It also comforted me that while he got propositions daily from other girls, he declined each and every one of them. The first time I was present when one of the girls came up to him to talk and to ask him out I was in agony. The girl was pretty I think, but it was torture to watch up close as she was hitting on the boy whom I loved. But Jasper had rejected her like anybody else; it seemed that he wasn't interested in dating at all. However, this particular occurrence caused me to have a very interesting conversation with Emmett.

One afternoon I was studying in my bedroom. I was sitting on my new sofa that Mom and I had bought earlier when suddenly my door burst open and Emmett dash in with an angry expression on his face. I was stunned for a couple of minutes as that expression was very rare on him. He stopped right in front of me.

"Okay, Alice, I'm quite fed up with your sulking all day long!" His frustration was audible in his voice. "I swear you are more emo than Edward had ever been." If I had been in a better mood I would have laughed at this. But I didn't know what to say to him in my current bad mood, but fortunately he didn't wait for an answer and he started his lecture.

"And don't think I don't know what the cause for your depression is." He warned me. "I know that it's because of that little bastard, Jasper!"

"Hey! Don't call him that!" I shouted at him, immediately defending my love.

His face instantly softened. "Alice, I know that you love him, but I hate seeing you suffering because of that little…" He didn't finish because of my stern look. "Maybe you should give up on him. He isn't worth this heartache."

I got really angry at his words and I started practically shouting at him. "How can you say that! You don't understand at all! I love him with all my heart. It's not something that I can switch off nor I want to! He is everything to me! Do you hear me, everything! So don't say that he isn't worth it!" I was panting as a result of all the shouting that I just did. Emmett expression was shell-shocked, he wasn't expecting that at all.

"Alright, Alice, but I was wondering about something, but I don't know if I have the guts to say it after your outburst." He said after a few minutes of silence between us. His expression suggested that I had really frightened him this time.

"You can say anything," I started with a sigh "as long as it isn't to insult Jasper."

"Okay, so I was wondering if it had ever occurred to you that maybe Jasper drives his car on the other side of the road, if you know what I mean."

I looked at him blankly. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Have you ever thought that he is gay?" He asked with a sigh.

"Oh" It was all I could manage and it took a couple of minutes to process what Emmett had just said. Jasper couldn't be gay, that wasn't possible. He liked girls I was sure about that, besides I caught him checking me out plus he complimented me a couple of times. Of course I wasn't going to tell Emmett that. And suddenly I felt anger toward Emmett, toward Jasper and the whole situation and my outburst was quite unexpected.

"How the hell can you think that? Just because he isn't interested in me it doesn't mean that he is gay! I love him more than anything in the world! It's me that's the problem! Has it ever occurred to you? I'm not good enough for him." By the end of my tirade I was standing in front of Emmett, but as the realization of what I had just said dawned on me I collapsed back to my sofa in tears. I guess I shocked Emmett into immobility. However, soon I felt a familiar pair of arms around me. Edward. I guess I was quite loud in my outburst and he heard me or it was one of our twin moments, again. I turned into his embrace and sobbed even harder, pouring out all my heartache and frustration. After several minutes I became aware that Edward was whispering comforting words to me and I felt that Emmett was sitting right next to me, too. When I was calm enough to speak I let go of Edward.

"Thank you." I whispered in a hoarse voice.

"Oh, Ali, you don't have to thank me, that's what brothers are for." He said in smoothing tone. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yes." I said, but my voice was still weak.

"Alice!" It was Emmett and his tone was apologetic and sad. "I'm so sorry for what I had said. I have never wanted to hurt you. Please forgive me!" He sounded so sad that I turned to him and gave him a hug.

"It's okay, Emmett. I just lost control for a bit, it wasn't your fault." I told him.

"I have never seen you like this, Ali, and it scares me that I can't help you." He said sounding indeed lost.

"I know, Emmett. But there is nothing I can do." I tried a weak smile, and I saw as the familiar mischief entered his eyes again.

"Well, do you want me to beat some sense into that boy?" He asked while flexing the muscles in his arms. I had to laugh at this, it was a weak one, but a laugh nonetheless. With a final hug Emmett stood up and left my room leaving me alone with Edward.

"Are you sure you are better?" He asked really concerned which wasn't that surprising after an episode like that.

"Yes, I'm sure. It's just really hurt, you know." I said.

"I think I know what you mean, and I know it's hard, but I think you shouldn't give up." He said then continued more hesitantly. "Do you really think that Jasper doesn't like you?" He asked.

I sighed deeply. "I don't know what to think anymore. Once he is really sweet complimenting me and a little flirty, and then he is distant again. I'm very confused at his behavior." I said as evenly as I could manage, but still my voice wavered at times. Edward didn't say anything to that and we just sat there in companionable silence. It was my first breakdown, but unfortunately it wasn't my last. Love was hard.

On a Sunday morning I got up quite early, I hadn't slept that well all night. I wandered down to the kitchen to see whether Mom was up, too. I was in luck as Mom was sipping her morning coffee.

"Good morning, honey!" Mom said. "You are up early." She commented with a concerned expression. She like everybody else knew that I wasn't well, but fortunately she and Dad were out when I had my breakdown.

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep." I said simply and then quickly changed the subject. "So what's the plan of action for today?" She immediately noticed my move, but went along with it.

"Well, I was planning to go to the grocery store after I finished my coffee."

I thought for a bit. "Do you mind if I go with you?" I figured why not. At least that was a change of scenery.

"Oh, I'd love for you to come, but I really only go to the grocery store." She said cautiously thinking I wanted more.

"Yes, I know." I had to smile at her relieved expression.

As soon as we got ready we headed to the store in Dad's Mercedes.

Mom parked the car a bit far from the entrance so we had to walk up to the building. There was quite a lot of parking cars considering it was an early Sunday morning. In the store while Mom was looking for her list I glanced lazily around and watched the other shoppers. And suddenly all the air left my lungs. A little distance away stood my Greek God, Jasper. It was like I summoned him with the force of my thoughts. He was exactly the one person I wanted to see the most and who could make my depression go away. He hadn't noticed me yet so I used my time to observe him. I saw that he was with an elderly man. That must be his grandfather so when I was able to tear my eyes away from the gorgeous boy I concentrated on the man beside him. He was wearing simple clothes, the kinds that old people usually wear, I guess. They consisted of a pair of grayish dress pants and a blue plaid shirt that was tucked in his pants. He had grey hair and he was wearing thick glasses that had black frame. Even through the glasses I could see how Jasper got his lovely eyes. They were the same dark blue color, but it showed more wisdom and less pain than Jasper's. I concentrated on their interaction as I wanted to know more about their relationship. They were laughing at something. Whenever Jasper had mentioned his grandfather I always detected respect and love in his voice. The most conspicuous change was noticeable in Jasper's whole body language, there were no signs of tension in his body, his eyes lost their usual caution and he seemed to be completely at ease. I longed for the time when he could be the same in my company, too. Although Jasper was a bit more relaxed in my company than usually, but I still knew that he was holding back. His trust was apparent, but it wasn't full. Not yet.

As I was concentrating on his casual behavior his eyes suddenly lifted up and met mine. His gaze bore into the core of my very soul. However, I noted with dismay that his whole countenance had changed with realization of my presence. I couldn't contain a deep sigh which caught Mom's attention. We watched as Jasper whispered something in his grandfather's ears and then he looked in our direction then they started to walk toward us. My heart was beating so hard that I was sure Mom could here it. When they reached us Jasper started with an introduction.

"Good morning, Mrs. Cullen, Alice!" He started. I had to smile. He always forgot to call Mom, Esme. "This is my grandfather, Herbert Jackson. And grandpa this is Mrs. Esme Cullen and her daughter, Alice." We shook hands.

"It's a pleasure to meet you. I've heard quite a lot about you." He said while looking at me. He didn't have any Southern accent so that means that it was Jasper's father who was a Southerner. While Mom and Mr. Jackson started a little small talk I turned to Jasper.

"Hello, Jasper! How are you?" I asked with a smile.

"Hey, Alice. I'm good. I'm actually surprised to see you here so early." He said softly.

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep so when Mom said she was coming I simply tag along."

"I see. Another type of shopping?" He asked while cocking his head to the side.

I giggled. "You could say that." I liked when Jasper was like this, relaxed and sweet. Times like this all I wanted to do was yank his head down and kiss him senseless. I wanted to feel those full lips on mine. I could finally run my hand through his hair that I imagined would be as smooth as silk. I wondered what he would do if I actually went through with my plan. I had always thought that I would love somebody who was closer to my height, but Jasper's tallness was very sexy, I quite liked looking up at him. I always felt safe with him. A deep voice stopped my swaying thoughts.

"Excuse me, Alice, but I have to steal the boy from you. I'm an old man who is bound by habits." He smiled at me and it was very similar to the smile Jasper usually gave me. "And I'd like to arrive home in time for my TV shows." I giggled at this. Soon they said goodbye and went their way to finish their shopping. I watched them as long as I could and when I turned to Mom I saw a worried expression on her face.

"I'm okay, Mom. Relax!" I said with an eye roll.

"Are you sure, honey?" She asked somewhat calmly.

"Yes, I'm sure." I smiled at her. Of course I was alright; I had just seen my Jazzy. And although it was for a short time it was better than nothing. Jasper hadn't come over yesterday and I hadn't gone to the Diner on Friday so the last time I saw him was in school. I didn't go to the Diner often for a lot of reasons. I didn't like seeing all those girls throwing themselves at him and flirting with him shamelessly. And Jasper was always working so he didn't have time to chat with me. Besides since Rose and Emmett started dating I didn't have anybody to go with. While we were waiting in line for the cashier I glanced out of the window just in time to see Jasper and his grandfather. They were putting their stuff into an old looking truck, very similar to Bella's, but it was green. Jasper opened the passenger side door to his grandfather then he quickly hopped into the driver's seat and drove off.

After a couple of days I had realized what Edward plan was when he hadn't said anything to me after my breakdown. With a Herculean effort he tore himself away from Bella long enough to engage Jasper in conservation. I noticed that he and Bella tried to help me in getting Jasper out of his shell. I truly loved my brother for his help especially after I had a fit about how my brothers were treating Jazz. They had made him reconsider our lunch time arrangement. I mean come on! _What the hell?_ There was no chance in hell I would let that happen! So I had told them if they didn't stop their hostility toward him then Jasper and I would sit alone together far away from them. Yes, I would have chosen Jazz over them. It quickly sobered them up.

The main talk in school was Mike Newton's beach gathering when the weather was nice. While I had no intention to go with them I thought it was a very good idea. We have been living here for a while now and we still hardly knew the town or the surrounding area. Dad and the boys enjoyed going for camping trips back at home. It had never been my thing, dirt, bugs and I don't mix. They haven't gone to one here yet because Dad had to work a lot and the boys had girlfriends. Nonetheless, I thought that our group, including Jasper, should go to the beach this weekend. I always tried to come up with new ideas for our weekend activities because I hated the monotony to always do the same thing. Plus I thought that maybe Jasper was more inclined to join us if we did various stuff. I hadn't mentioned it to anyone yet, but the more I thought about it the more I liked the idea. However, I wasn't completely sure that Jasper would come with us. He always wore long sleeved shirts and sweaters I think in order to hide his scars. He didn't know that I knew about them and I had never told anybody. But it was Forks so even if the sun was out it still wasn't warm enough for bathing suits or anything. Maybe shorts… _Oh my God!_ The image of Jasper in shorts… Hmm… Yes, shorts and nothing else. I was sure that would be a magnificent sight! My intriguing thoughts were interrupted by a knock on my door. _Why did I always get interrupted when I had sexy thoughts of Jasper?_ Anyway, I would save these thoughts for later.

"Come in, Edward!" I knew it was him from his knock.

"Hey, Ali!" He came in and sat down on my sofa next to me. "I just wanted to ask whether you had plans for us for the weekend or I was free to think about my own plan." He asked amusement coloring his voice.

"Well, I was thinking that we could go to the beach." I said thinking it was the perfect time to bring it up.

Edward's expression was horrified. "You want to go with Newton?" He asked. I had to giggle. Edward had a huge dislike for Mike because after he had given up on me he turned his attentions back to Bella even though it was absolutely clear that Edward and she were together.

"Of course not." I said smiling. "Besides I don't think he is able to organize it any time soon. But, anyway, I know that it will be sunny on Sunday. We could make a day trip out of it. What do you think?"

"Yes, I think it would be nice." He said thoughtfully. "Are you going to invite Jasper, too?" He asked tentatively.

"I don't know." I sighed deeply. "I mean I want to, of course, but I think it wouldn't be his thing."

"I know what you mean. He is shy about these things, but I think he became quite comfortable with us. Maybe he will surprise you." He said with an encouraging smile. "Ali, can I ask you something?" He said and his whole countenance changed.

"Of course, what is it?" His sudden change scared me.

"Well, as you know I have been trying to befriend Jasper for a while…" He started, but I interrupted.

"Oh, I know. And I wanted to thank you for it." I said and my gratefulness was audible.

"You are welcome." He squeezed my hand, but he continued his speech. "As I was saying now I had a clearer understanding of Jasper's character. I had also asked Bella about him and her own observations." He sighed deeply. "And my question is this. Have you ever thought that you could be the initiative one in that relationship? You know, you could tell him how you are feeling." He said and looked directly into his eyes.

I contemplated what he had just said. How could I tell Jasper when he didn't give me clear signs? Could I do that? Was I strong enough?

"I don't know…" It was the only answer I could give him at the time.

"You don't have to decide anything now. It's just something I think you should consider. Jasper is very reserved, and I'm sure it's a waste of time to wait for him to make a move. I think that he really likes you, but he doesn't have enough confidence." He hurriedly explained. "Think about it! Wouldn't the knowledge of his feelings be better than this uncertainty?"

"Thanks for the advice. I will think about it." I said and moved to hug him in thanks.

"You are very welcome, Alice." He said and whispered. "As I had said before you shouldn't give up on him." He stood up and left the room.

Edward had left me with quite a lot to think about. He had said that Jasper might like me back and maybe he just lacked confidence. There was something in that. Jazz was always considerate and polite around me, he was a little flirty, but never overtly so. That proved that he had some interest in me, but I had thought it was because of our friendship. But now Edward had put a bug in my ear and I couldn't think about anything else. Maybe he was right and I should tell Jasper how I feel. Even if he rejected me I would know once and for all. But the very idea of his rejection sent a shiver down my spine. There wasn't a chance in hell that I would survive that. After many long hours of thinking I came to the conclusion that I would observes his behavior on the beach, if he came that is, and than make a final decision.

As I had expected everybody was thrilled by this idea of a beach excursion, but initially Jasper had declined.

"Why not, Jasper?" I asked a little hurt at his speedy refusal. "We could take a picnic and just relax on the beach. It wouldn't be warm enough for us to swim or anything." I tried to persuade him and finally took out the big guns. I turned on him my puppy-dog eyes topping it off with my pout. _I wasn't even ashamed of using them!_ I desperately wanted him to come.

After a long pause he finally said. "I'll think about it, but that's all I can promise."

"Thank you. That's all I'm asking." I said with gratitude.

We dropped the subject after this.

The next day Jasper informed me that he would come with us. I didn't know what had finally convinced him to accept. My answering squeal was ear-splitting and Jasper had to cover his left ear, but he was laughing at the same time. I don't know what the decisive factor had been, whether it was me or maybe his grandfather's persuasion, but I didn't care. Jasper was coming! I had a feeling it would be a milestone in our relationship. I was so blissed out that I had no other recollection of that day.

On Saturday afternoon I helped my mom to prepare our picnic for the next day. At first she was very surprised to see me in the kitchen with the intention of helping her making food. After a little blushing I confessed that I wanted to impress Jasper. Ever since I had found out about his ability to cook, I considered the idea of finally learn how to cook. I made little progress, but luckily nothing caught on fire so I filed it away as a success. That night my dreams were filled with images of Jasper in shorts and our heavy make out sessions. I became quite used to my sexy dreams about him so I no longer was embarrassed about them. We made arrangements to pick up Bella and Rose on our way to the beach and Jasper said that he would meet us there.

Everyone was piled in Emmett's jeep as we headed toward the beach. My heart was pounding fast in my chest I was so excited. When we arrived to the beach a beautiful sight had met my eyes, and the landscape wasn't that bad either. Jasper was already in the parking lot waiting for us. He was wearing a pair of grey casual pants (unfortunately not in shorts) with a light long sleeved shirt that was black. He was casually leaning on his motorcycle and his arms were folded over his chest. The wind was blowing his hair. He looked like a model at a bike commercial shooting. And I was drooling. That man was a God! _Yummy!_ Bella giggled at my obvious staring and Rose just rolled her eyes while Emmett was making gagging sounds. I just simply hit him at the back of his head as I had learnt from Rose.

Emmett parked right next to Jasper and I quickly hopped out of the monstrous car. However, in my lust I had forgotten how huge the car was compared to my small size. I was prepared to make a face plant in front of everybody, but the heavy impact never came. Instead I was met with a pair of strong arms, finally, after a long time I was encircled in Jasper's arms. _It was a heavenly feeling!_ I was enveloped in strong arms, heavenly scent and a comforting atmosphere. When I could concentrate anything other than the feeling of Jasper's arms around my waist I looked up into those beautiful eyes.

"Are you alright?" He asked softly. "You almost fell out of the car."

There was no way in hell that I could utter anything intelligible while in his arms so I just nodded and smiled at him. To my disappointment that was enough confirmation for him and he dropped his arms. Cleared from his intoxicating closeness I could gather my wits about myself. I made an exaggerated move to inspect his clothing. "What no shorts for the beach? What kind of style is that?" I asked teasingly.

He chuckled. "I'm from Texas, Alice. This weather is still too cold for me."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. After all this time I'm still used to the weather in Phoenix and not Forks." Bella said while snuggling closer to Edward to get warm. All of us others were wearing shorts.

At the beach we started to arrange the blankets and I happily noted that Jasper sat down next to me voluntarily, and he sat quite close to me, closer than ever before. Of course Emmett couldn't sit still for very long so the boys went a little further down to toss a football among themselves. That left us girls alone to talk.

"Um… Alice, can I ask for a favor?" Bella asked and she was visible nervous.

"Of course! How can I help you?" I asked. I was very curious about this.

"Well, I need some new stuff and I'd like your help with the shopping." She said it all in one breath and very quickly. Are you kidding me? It was the best day ever. I was held by Jasper and now Bella was volunteering to shop with me. I bounced up and down while clapping my hands together.

"Is that a yes?" Bella asked amused at my antics.

"Of course. Of course." I said very enthusiastically.

"What kind of stuff do you need?" Rose asked her with a raised eyebrow. Bella blushed crimson. A long time and a lot of blushing later she finally confessed that she needed lingerie and makeup. So we made plans for an after school shopping trip. Soon the guys returned to our place and each couple engaged in conversation.

I noticed that Jasper rolled his sleeve up on his left arm exposing his tattoo. I quickly looked up at him.

"You can look at it if you want." He offered to my great surprise. So I nodded and examined his tattoo. It was a picture of a dried out tree that still had little red leaves. It was beautiful. I reached out at ran my index finger lightly over it. I noticed that Jasper didn't shy away from my touch. I looked at him silently asking the meaning of it. He lowered his voice to keep the conversation private. "It's a replica of one of my mother's paintings." He started and I saw his countenance darken. "She was a very talented painter, she had many exhibitions. This picture was my all time favorite of hers so as a tribute to her memory a friend of mine painted it on my skin."

It was the first time he had ever mentioned his mother to me and I was astounded at this obvious sign of his full trust in me. I was very grateful for it. I realized that he inherited his talent from his mother, but he didn't realize his own talent. I made it my mission to convince him that he was just as talented as his mother was.

"The memory of her?" I asked quietly, I wasn't sure that he was ready to answer that.

"Yes, she had died in a car accident when I was seven." He simply said.

"I'm sorry." I said meaning every letter of it. It must have been hard for him to loose his mother so young.

"It's okay, it was a long time ago. But I still miss her though." He said deep in thought.

I felt encouraged by this and I asked the next question tentatively. "And your father?"

Jasper's whole body went rigid at the mention of his father. His shoulders were tense and his hands were clenched into fists. His eyes were impossibly dark and his mouth was in a thin line. I immediately knew that that was the wrong question to ask. He completely shut down and he never answered the question. I wanted to ease his discomfort so I started to babble on about stories about our childhood and soon my brothers joined in. It gave enough time for Jasper to compose himself and he smiled at me in gratitude. And soon he himself took part in our conversation.

I was very happy about Jasper opening up to me about his family. And now at least I knew that Jasper's father was a touchy subject. I noticed that he was looking at me a little differently after this and I felt that our relationship had changed forever. Whether to the better or worse was a question of the future. But my decision was made, I was going to tell Jasper that I loved him. The only thing I needed was the perfect opportunity.

* * *

><p>PS. The next chapter is a little peek into the mysterious mind of a certain Jasper Whitlock. It's almost ready so I'm hoping to post it soon.<p> 


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 10

JPOV

I woke up with a start and bolted upright in my bed. _Fuck!_ Another one of those nightmares. I thought that I was over them as I didn't have any recently. When my racing heartbeat slowed I glanced over at my nightstand to check the time. I still had 5 minutes till my alarm clock went off. I laid back and relaxed for the remaining time. I let my thoughts wander freely about any topic that popped into my tired mind. The first thing that I focused on was little Alice. She had a tendency to pop into my thoughts quite unexpectedly.

I found myself thinking about her more often recently. I wasn't stupid, I knew that she was developing a crush on me, but at least she was discreet about her feelings unlike other girls at school. I didn't understand them at all. When I moved here their sudden interest in me was quite understandable, I was the shiny new toy that everyone wanted to play with. Maria used to say that girls liked me because of my good looks. _Yeah, right!_ There was nothing special about me and the scars on my arms and body only added to my ragged appearance. _Oh, Maria…_ Maria and I had a very um… interesting relationship that was mainly based on physicality. We used each other's body to feel good for a little while, to get way from our reality that was anything but. She had a similar background that I had, and we used sex as a tool to get away, for instant gratification. She had never minded my scars as she had her own ones.

After a time the girls' interested in me had cooled down, except for Lauren of course. _Jesus, that girl was a fucking skank!_ Sometimes I feared my life because of her as she turned into this stalker slash groupie kind of girl who followed me everywhere. It didn't make a difference to her whether I was rude or nice to her so after a while I simply learned to block her and her ridiculous antics out. However, the second wave of interest in me was much unexpected. When the new students arrived I heaved a huge sigh of relief as all the attention was turned toward them. It didn't last long. I was hoping that as there were two new guys in the school Lauren's unwelcome affection would be placed on either of them. _No such luck!_ Once she even told me that it was my last chance to take her out as Edward was very much interested in her so I simply wished her all the happiness in the world with her new victim.

However, later I learned that it was a lie as Edward was clearly only interested in Bella. I quite liked her, she was a quiet girl never one to pry, and I appreciated that in her. Through Alice's insistence I had became part of a group for the first time in my life and I became friends with them all. Back in Texas I had always been with Maria and two people don't exactly make a group. Emmett had a very easy going nature so he easily accepted me into their group. However, recently I noticed his hostile attitude toward me. I guess it was because Alice's feelings for me. Edward wasn't as openly hostile as his brother, but it was clear that he was suspicious of me. When I couldn't bear the adverse atmosphere during lunch I offered Alice that I would go back to sit alone. At first I was worried because of the heartbroken expression on her face, but she insisted that I sit with them and as so many times before I found myself unable to deny her anything. After this incident her brothers changed their attitude and only a little tension remained. Edward was the first, besides Alice, to make a conscious move to befriend me. It was nice to have a friend with whom I could discuss serious topics, too.

And I came full circle. _Alice._ My friendship with Alice was different from with anyone else. It was complicated because of her obvious feelings for me and because of my own conflicting ones. I couldn't deny that Alice was a very beautiful girl and I was quite attracted to her. I mean seriously who wouldn't be. But besides her physical beauty I found that she possessed an equally stunning inner beauty. She was very kind and generally nice to everybody. She had a cheerful atmosphere around her that I enjoyed. It was so rare that someone had this happy and joyful aura around themselves. But her personality was one of the very reasons that intimidated me. She was a beauty inside and out and she shouldn't waste her time on someone as fucked up as I was. She deserved someone much better, but I had a feeling that convincing her about this wouldn't be that easy. I quickly learnt that she could be really stubborn if she wanted something. The most frightening thing about her was how readily I trusted her. I wasn't a very trusting person; I had never had reason to. The only person I had ever trusted was my grandfather, he had saved me after all. But Alice somehow wormed her way around my defensive walls without my realizing it. And like all the other things about Alice I found myself loving this new feeling of trust. That beach trip had changed everything; I had opened up to her more than anybody else. It was nice talking a little about my mother, however, the mention of that bastard of a father had ruined everything.

I was hoping that with time Alice feelings would fade because I had no idea how I would react about her becoming open with her affection. I didn't think I had the power to reject her. She didn't know a lot of things about me and I wanted to leave it at that. There were things that she was better off knowing nothing about, and my close association with her would only darken her innocence. I just wanted to keep her optimism and cheerfulness alive. It was a double edged sword. I knew that her usual cheerful mood was dampened by her feelings for me that she thought were unreciprocated, but I couldn't let her find out about the secrets of my past, that would broke her. I wanted to protect her from that.

When my alarm finally went off, it roused me from my darkening thoughts. I got up and went to the bathroom on the end of the hall. I took a shower and went downstairs to prepare breakfast for both of us. I wasn't one for huge breakfasts, a simple clif bar was sufficient for me, but as grandpa took several medications he needed food for them to take effect. So I made him eggs and bacon when I heard that he was heading to the kitchen.

"Good morning!" I greeted him. "Sit down! Breakfast will be ready in a minute!"

"Thanks, son!" He said and sat down in his usual chair.

When the food was ready I put it in front of him and he immediately dag in. I sat down across from him and ate my bar with a cup of coffee. I always needed coffee to get me going in the morning. We ate in silence, neither of us was big talkers. Today he had to go to the doctor for check-ups. I usually took him, but today I had to go over to the Cullen's to work on our project with Alice. As I felt uncomfortable with disrupting their family dinners I made a deal with my boss at the Diner. On every Wednesday I could get off earlier, he was very lenient with me because I always worked conscientiously plus he knew my grandpa very well. Before I left for school I reminded him once again about his appointment at which he just smiled saying that he had remembered.

I arrived to our fantastic school and parked my motor at my usual place at a safe distance from everybody else. I glanced around the parking lot and when I saw that Alice hadn't arrived yet I headed for the building. I usually didn't wait for her because I didn't want to encourage her or give her false hope about me. I didn't know how successful that was. I headed for my first class, my favorite: History. I sat down and I started to read a book I had recently purchased about the Civil War. Soon I was so absorbed in my book that Alice's was startled me.

"Good morning, Jasper!" She greeted me with her trademark smile that always made me smile back at her.

"Hey, Alice!" I simply said. I saw that she was dressed in a very flattering green dress that really brought out the emerald hue in her eyes. She was breathtaking, but I refrained from commenting on it, but my lingering look might have given my liking away.

"So are you coming over today?" She asked the eagerness clear in her voice. I saw Edward shaking his head in the background. I didn't know whether it was at me or at her, but I didn't really give a damn.

"Yeah, at the usual time." I said.

That was all of our morning conversation as the class started and as usual I gave my whole-hearted attention to the subject. I had third period free as I was quite fluent in Spanish. What can I say? I was from Texas where Spanish is like a second language. So I spent that period in the library. I took out my notebook and started sketching out the contours of a face that soon turned into the familiar features of little Alice. It seemed my subconscious was stuck on her while my common sense knew better.

When I went to lunch the others had already been talking about their plans for the weekend. It was their usual Saturday date night as they had called it. I didn't always go to these events although I did enjoy the movies and the company, but I couldn't help the feeling that Alice was expecting something from these evenings especially after the beach trip. I thought if I didn't show up every time that would help her get over her crush on me. Well, judging from the expression on her face it wasn't working. I sat down with a sigh and Alice immediately turned to me.

"Hey, Jasper!" She said enthusiastically. "We were talking about plans for the weekend. And we decided that we were bored with always staying in Forks."

"We?" Edward arched an eyebrow at her.

"Okay, so I was bored." She said and stuck her tongue at his brother. I enjoyed their light banter, must have been nice to grow up with siblings. In my case that would have been disastrous.

"So what do you have in mind?" I asked a little shyly. I didn't particularly want to dismiss her idea as I hadn't gone over last week, but I needed to know what kind of crazy idea popped up in her clever little brain.

"What do you think about bowling?" She asked. "Because Emmett had said that the bowling arena in Port Angeles was pretty good and _I_ wanted to check it out." She emphasized the I in her sentence with a sideway glance to Edward. But soon she turned her hopeful eyes on me. I could never say no to those gorgeous puppy-dog eyes.

"Alright, I can go after work." I relented. Alice's answering squeal was deafening and caused for a couple of heads to turn in our direction.

"She was going on and on about how much she wanted to go. She was a real pain in the ass." Emmett stage whispered to me. But stopped when a bread roll hit him in the head. A courtesy of Alice.

He rubbed his cheek as he said. "I don't know why you are so excited, you can't even play that well."

"I deemed it time to learn it properly, besides it's your fault that I can't play. You had never taken the time to teach me." Alice retorted with an accusing glare.

"Alright, I give up!" Emmett replied raising his hands in a sign of peace.

After grinning in triumph at him she turned back to me. "So Jasper we decided to go in one car to save gas and of course to save the planet." She giggled at her own little joke. "And as Emmett's jeep can easily sit six people we are going to pick everybody up with it." She started to explain. "So where should we pick you up at the Diner or at your place?"

If I go with them, there wouldn't be enough time for me to go home. Beside I didn't want her to know where I lived as although our house was nice the neighborhood was anything but. Alice lived in the rich part of town while we lived in one of the poorest neighborhoods. Plus it was in the opposite direction from Port Angeles.

"From the Diner." I replied. "I live too far to make it in time." She frowned at my statement.

"Is it alright if you can't go home before we leave? I wouldn't want to take you away from your grandfather." She said in concern.

"It's really alright. Don't worry!" I assured her with a smile. Like everything else about her, her concern was a foreign feeling to me. No one had ever felt concern for me before except of course my grandpa.

The rest of the day went on in a similar manner. Work was as usual, but unfortunately for me Lauren and her friends walked in and it still wasn't time for me to leave. I sighed and went to their table. Lauren in her usual careless manner touched my arm and I jerked away from her. I wasn't comfortable with strangers touching me, but this bitch had no concern for personal space. I served them everything they had ordered while trying to tune out their ridiculous flirting. Lauren was batting her eyelashes at me and I was tempted to ask her whether she had a seizure or something, but I kept my mouth shut and endured it. At least I got nice tips from them.

And soon I found myself in the parking lot of the Diner preparing to leave for Alice's. As a habit I had just texted her that I was on my way. When I arrived I was no longer surprised at how quickly Alice had always opened the door for me.

"Hello, Japer!" She greeted me with the usual dreamy little smile plastered on her lovely face. She was always so happy to see me.

"Hey, Alice! How are you?" I couldn't help smiling back at her. Her happiness was quite contagious.

"I'm good. Come in!" She stepped away to let me walk in.

I greeted Mrs. Cullen and Edward who were in the living room and followed Alice up the stairs towards her room. I noticed that she was wearing a pair of very short shorts that accentuated her cute little bottom. _Well, that was a view!_ So what if I checked her out? I was a guy so sue me… However, I quickly banished such thoughts from my brain.

In her room I immediately noticed two changes. One, she had a new sofa installed in, and two, the drawing I once had given her was now framed and hung up on her wall. I raised an inquiring eyebrow at her while nodded in the picture's direction.

She blushed a beautiful shade of pink. She wasn't as an easy blusher as Bella, but on occasion she did it, too. "What?" She tried to play it down. "You know how I liked that picture." She said and quickly changed the subject. "You know, I haven't seen any of your recent drawings." She hinted, but I wasn't about to tell her that my new favorite topic was her face and especially her eyes. So I just shrugged my shoulder.

"You didn't want to see them." I said simply.

"Oh, Jasper!" She had an indulgent expression on her face. "I always want to see your pictures. You are very talented. I love your creations."

"Thanks." I mumbled, well she was a bit biased. I could never be as good or as talented as my mother had been. My mood immediately darkened at the thought of her, and Alice noticed, but thankfully she didn't pry. I really appreciated that although she was curious she had never pressed for more information. She simply waited hoping that I would open up to her a little more about my family. I knew however that wouldn't happen if I could help it.

We worked on our project and I noticed that Alice was getting better and better in this "silly boys playing war" topic as she so affectionately called it. She must have checked out those web pages that I suggested. I was very pleased with her progress and decided to comment on it.

"Well, Alice, I see that you have done quite a research in this field. You are becoming an expert." I said gently with a smile.

She blushed and giggled at my compliment. "Thanks. It really is very interesting. I would never have thought!" I had to chuckle at the complete wonder on her face. We made good progress with our project. The teacher was quite impressed with our theme and gave us full rein.

Soon we finished the homework and I rose to go home. Both Alice and her mother tried to convince me to stay for dinner, but politely I declined mentioning my grandpa. I didn't particularly like leaving him alone. I knew that he was used to it as he had been living alone a long time before I moved here, but still I really liked him. It was such a new feeling to me that I couldn't completely understand it yet. I wasn't used to affection of any kind, and that was also a reason why Alice confused me so much. She knew next to nothing about me still she liked me for an unknown reason.

When I arrived home I found grandpa dozing off in front of the TV, but he woke up at the sound of the door clicking shut behind me.

"Hey, grandpa! How are you? What did the doctor say?" I asked quickly.

He smiled at my eagerness. "I'm good. All my results were as they should be at this age." He said then continued with a sparkle in his eyes. "Well, actually Dr. Brown wasn't in as he had a family crisis and Dr. Cullen examined me instead."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "So how was the new doctor?"

"Oh, he was very nice just like his wife and daughter." He winked at me. Ever since we met them one Sunday morning he always looked for opportunities to mention Alice to me. "Oh come on, son! That's a very lovely young lady who is clearly smitten with you!" He said unable to contain his excitement any more.

"And when did you start in the matchmaking business?" I asked sarcastically.

"I just think you should get out more. Spent time with people of your age." He said the concern sweeping in his voice. He was still worried about me, and I guess he was right to be. I hadn't got over my past and I didn't know if I ever would be. Grandpa noticed that my thoughts turned toward darker topics than at hand and he desperately wanted to pull me back.

"Why don't you give this lady a chance? Maybe she could make you happy." He suggested quietly.

I snorted sarcastically at him. "Yeah, right. And I would be the perfect boyfriend for her."

"Maybe, if you give her a chance she could…" I didn't let him finish.

"Both of us know the difference between Alice and me. She is too good for me. Soon she would find someone else who is better suited for her." I said with conviction. I couldn't fathom the idea of someone as good and beautiful as Alice would be seriously interested in me. It was all a little crush; she created a picture about me in her head that had nothing to do with the real me. She would soon get over me.

Grandpa just sighed and dropped the topic.

Soon it was Saturday afternoon and work was crazy. I texted Alice saying that I would be a little late, but she answered that they would wait for me in the parking lot. I was about to go to the back to change my clothes and get ready when I saw Alice walk in the Diner. When she noticed me her eyes lit up with happiness and her beautiful pink lips curved up into a smile.

"Hello, Jasper!" She greeted me a little breathlessly.

"Hey, Alice! I was about to go to change so I will be out in a couple of minutes." I told het.

"Oh, ok. I just came in because Emmett started to become a little pain in the ass." She huffed at her brother. "Also he wanted a milkshake."

When I stepped out to the parking lot I immediately saw the huge jeep that belonged to Emmett. It was a very suitable car for him. He honked his horn and leaned out of his window to shout at me.

"Finally, dude! Now that you finished your beautification we can finally leave!"

I heard the distinct sound of a slap and a quiet 'ow' and I knew that Rose had the situation under control. Not surprisingly in the car I was sitting next to Alice. Not that I minded. During the ride to Port Angeles conversation freely flowed between us although I mostly was quiet. It was still a little weird for me to be with so many people at once.

When we arrived to the bowling arena Bella and I joined the queue to rent shoes as the others had their own. I used that day's tip for that purpose. As we were walking toward the others we could hear Emmett and Alice were engaged in an argument. Bella and I exchanged an amused look.

"So what happened here?" Bella asked Edward as she went to his side.

"That's just my siblings." He said and looked at her lovingly. However, Alice felt the need to elaborate more.

"Emmett wanted to have a competition between boys and girls. But that's not fair when I can't even play properly." She said quite agitated.

"I don't see the problem." Emmett said with a grin in his sister's direction.

"I can't play either." Bella said quietly.

"Oh, then come and I teach you." Edward offered very eagerly. Emmett's booming laughter broke the natural buzz of the room.

Before I could stop myself I blurted out. "Alice, if you'd like I can teach you quickly." Alice's answering smile was dazzling, but then her face quickly fell. "Are you sure?" I could tell she was trying to play down her excitement.

"Yes, I'm quite sure." And as I said it I knew it was really true.

I guided Alice to the practicing line and showed her how to hold the ball and how to pull it out. It was amusing to watch little Alice struggling with ball that was too heavy for her, but she managed just fine. However, she couldn't hold the ball long enough so it just slipped out of her hands too early which made her shots too weak to score anything. When she made another attempt, without thinking I walked up to her and stood right behind her putting one arm around her waist and the other helped her hold the ball. I heard her gasp, probably a result of my sudden appearance.

"Let me show you." I whispered in her ear. I felt as she went limp in my arms letting me guide her. I was quite surprised at myself. I didn't feel tense or uncomfortable holding her so close. I had already noticed at the beach that Alice's touch always felt really nice, the urge never came to move away from her. Maybe it was because her touch was a sign of her affection and nothing else. I had never felt threatened by her, she always made me feel peaceful which was a very foreign feeling to me, but I found that I enjoyed it very much.

At this point I was standing so close to her that there weren't any space between our bodies. I helped her lift the ball and guided her through the right technique to shoot. She was very quiet as I explained her the right moves and the rules. After a while I realized that my standing so close to her might had become inappropriate and as I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. So I let go of her and stepped aside. I heard a faint groan coming from her.

"Now it's your turn to do it on your own." I said softly to her while indicating the alley to her. She lifted her eyes to meet mine and I sucked in a quick breath. Her eyes were wide and an impossibly dark shade of emerald green. I knew that look. It was lust. I hadn't realized that my closeness could have that effect on her. I meant I knew that I stood way too close to her, but I had no idea that that would turn her on so much. And I found that I wasn't as unaffected by her arousal as I had initially thought. She looked magnificent standing there her pupils dilated, lips slightly parted and her whole body language showed that she wanted my touch. I found myself stealing glances at those pink lips. We still stood relatively close to her, it would only take me to drop my head a little and then I could taste her. And suddenly like a bolt of lightning I realized that I wanted to do it, I wanted to kiss her so I started to lean in, but a booming voice interrupted the moment. I was quite grateful for the interruption. _What the fuck was I thinking?_

"Hey, man! How did you manage with the pixie?" He asked in a good mood having no idea about the moment he had just disturbed. I cleared my voice and quickly composed myself.

"It went well I think. With a little more practice she would be perfect."

"Well, then it's time for a competition!" He cried and walked back to the others. Alice stood right where she was not moving an inch. She had composed herself somewhat, but still had a dreamy far away look in her eyes. I had no idea what could have been running trough her head. I nodded my head in the direction of the others silently indicating that we should join them. Finally Emmett had his will and we formed two teams I was in the team with Alice and Edward, and to Emmett's dismay we had won, but my heart wasn't in that game. All I could think of was that almost kiss earlier. I had to be careful, if I didn't watch out I would soon find myself in love with little Alice.

* * *

><p>PS. So that was Jasper's point of view. It was probably different from what you had expected. I'm not really sure about this chapter so let me know what you think. I can always continue it in just Alice's point of view.<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 11

I was silently seething in my seat all the way home. After that wonderful moment between Jasper and me everything went downhill. I was sure that he was going to kiss me, he was leaning closer toward me and he gave me that look that sent shivers down my spine. I was this close to finally kiss the boy I loved, and Emmett had to go and ruin everything with his carelessness. The remainder of the evening was quite awkward with Jasper. I could tell that he crawled right back into his shell and I was worrying about what the hell was going through his head. Was he regretting the almost kiss? Was he angry that we were interrupted? _What the hell was he thinking?_

The journey home was generally silent as I was deep in thought about the boy sitting next to me and I wasn't paying any attention to the outside world. However, I faintly noticed that both Edward and Bella were giving me worried glances. _Huh! They weren't the ones who should be worried!_ I was going to give a piece of my mind to Emmett once we were at home and alone. We dropped Jasper off at the Diner as his motorcycle was there. I managed to hold on my anger till we said goodbye and I watched with sadness as we drove off leaving Jazz behind. When he got out of sight my anger came back tenfold, I could barely control myself till we dropped the others off and arrived home. And at the garage all hell let loose!

I started to shout at Emmett from the top of my lungs using a language that wasn't fit for ladies for sure. I was swearing at him, using words that made even Emmett blush. At first he was shell-shocked at my outburst and when I saw realization dawn on his face I started a new round of shouting. Unfortunately the garage wasn't soundproof so it was my parents who put a stop to my crazy rant. The expression on their faces would be quite funny if I was in the mood, but I just huffed and stormed up to my room shutting the door with a loud bang. I threw myself on my bed face down and just lay there. All of the weeks' and the day's frustration came out of me at once and I started to cry my heart out. Suddenly I was enveloped in the gentle arms of Mom who simply rocked me back and forth.

"Shh, honey!" She whispered into my ear while smoothing my hair back from my face. She held me till I calmed down enough to speak. I was sure she had the general idea about my outburst and she was waiting to hear it from me.

"Can you tell me what happened, honey? She started to say gently. "Your dad and I are very worried about you, and just because of what had happened in the garage."

"I'm sorry for that." I said my voice hoarse from all the crying I had just done.

"Alright, tell me everything!" She urged softly. So that was exactly what I did. I told her everything from the progress I had made with Jasper to the almost kiss this evening.

"I know he would have kissed me if it hadn't been for Emmett…" I sobbed out and my tears fell anew.

"Honey, you shouldn't be so hard on your brother. He didn't know he was interrupting something. I hope you know it was unintentional!" Mom said gently.

"Of course I know, but…" I trailed off afraid that I start crying again.

"I know, honey." Mom said. "But I think this kiss would have been too soon for the both of you." I gave her an incredulous look. I was so ready for it. "Alice, do you really want to have your first kiss as a result of a thoughtless impulsive move? And at a bowling arena of all the places? Besides, you don't know anything about Jasper's feeling on the matter. Wouldn't you want to experience your first kiss as the beginning of something wonderful?"

I thought for a minute. "Well, it wasn't how I always imagined it, but…" She didn't let me finish.

"And why should you settle for anything less than what you wanted?" She asked me. "Trust me, honey, it wasn't your only chance with Jasper. And even if it was" She held up her hand when she saw that I wanted to interrupt her "than he isn't the right person."

"But, Mom, I know that he is the One. I had never loved anyone this much." I said confidently. I didn't have a single doubt in my mind that Jasper was the one for me. Every part of me just knew that it was him.

"Then you should be very patient, Alice. Think about the whole thing from Jasper's point of view. He must be very confused right now. You should give him some time and space so he can figure out what he really wants. The only thing you can do right now is to wait." She explained to me.

"But I don't like waiting." I said pouting and only half joking.

She chuckled. "I know, dear. But wouldn't he worth the wait?"

"Of course, he would!" I cried which caused Mom to laugh.

"Then you have to be patient and wait. But imagine how much better that kiss would be if Jasper felt the same. When he had time to figure everything out for himself and put everything in place then that kiss would worth all this waiting. Don't you think?" She said.

"Thank you, Mom, for everything." I said and gave her a heartfelt hug.

"You are welcome, honey. And you can always come to me for advice or just to talk. You shouldn't keep these things inside." She said softly patting my hand.

"I know." I simply said.

"And just you know that you are grounded for a week for the language you had used downstairs." Mom said reproachfully.

I giggled. "I know."

"And you also should talk to Emmett. Poor boy is heartbroken." She explained.

"Okay, I will, but tomorrow. I'm too tired it was a very long night." I said with a yawn.

"Alright, then I leave you alone." She stood up. "Good night, honey!" She kissed my cheek.

"Good night, mom!" I replied.

When she left the room I went to the bathroom to have a shower and to prepare for bed. I was glad to note that my waterproof makeup was indeed waterproof and I didn't have ugly black smudges on my face. I took a long and relaxing shower then went to bed. I laid there thinking and I let my mind wander back to that wonderful moment with Jazz. When he had put his hand around my waist I had thought that I was going to pass out from the sensation. It felt so good having his hand on me. The feeling he evoked in me were frightening, but also very enjoyable. As a result of my dreams I knew what I had felt at that moment was desire, pure and simple. I wanted him badly, but also felt very safe in his arms. I felt that so complicated feeling when he touched me that I always felt around him. I was nervous and calm all at the same time. I could hardly explain it. I always felt nervous around him, but it was a good kind of nervous full of excitement and thrill, and at the same time his presence always calmed me down, somehow centered me. I had to admit that Mom was right. As good as that kiss would have been I really wanted Jasper to kiss me out of love and not just because we were caught up in a moment. And slowly with thoughts of Jazz and kissing I drifted off to sleep.

The next day I promptly apologized to Emmett for my rash action. He truly looked devastated. He quickly apologized, too and we were back to our normal silly little banters. It felt really good, and the talk with Mom really helped a lot. I was in my room doing a little online shopping. Mom and Dad grounded me for a week, they said that I couldn't go anywhere besides school for an entire week. But they had forgotten to rule out online shopping so I was content. _I outsmarted them!_ My eyes wandered to Jasper's drawing as they so often did, and suddenly an idea came to me. Jasper had said that his mother was a painter who had exhibitions. Maybe I could find some of her works on the internet. The only problem was that I didn't know her name, but I typed in Whitlock and Jackson (her maiden name) and Texas. I quickly found the paintings of Helen Jackson Whitlock and when I found a picture of her I knew that I found his mother. The picture showed a young looking woman who had long sandy blond hair, the exact same shade as Jasper's, and big sky blue eyes. She looked exactly like the boy I loved only Jazz had sharper features, more masculine. I wondered how his father looked, but there weren't any family pictures. Besides, I thought that would be too much and much more stalkerish on my part. Jasper clearly had issues with his father, and I much rather hear about from Jasper himself. So I went back checking out his mother's paintings and sketching. Jasper had been right; his mother was really very talented. These pictures were beautiful. The style was very similar to Jasper's, they clearly were a huge influence on him, but these pictures were more defined and mature. After a little while I found a site that were auctioning away some of her pictures. My breath caught in my throat when I saw the picture that inspired Jasper's tattoo. I had to think quickly. Was I brave enough to buy it for him? I could buy it without telling anyone and giving it to him when the time was right. It could be years from now. Impulsively I clicked on the buy option, I made my bid and now everything was in fate's hand.

The next couple of days were awkward between Jasper and I. It was like we made two steps ahead and took three back. Jasper kept his distance and he was very quiet. I took Mom's advice and let him be. So I was clearly taken by surprise when on Wednesday morning Jasper was waiting for us in the parking lot. _Oh, God!_ I hoped he wasn't cancelling our usual study session! I was always looking forward to these times when I could be alone with him.

I quickly hopped out of the Volvo and walked up to Jasper. He greeted me first.

"Good morning, Alice!" He said with a gently smile. His face looked different. He somehow looked calmer and more relaxed than I had seen him this week. I took it as a good sign and my mood immediately improved.

"Hello, Jasper! To what do I owe the pleasure of your company this morning?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

He chuckled at my expression. "Well, I thought that I offer my assistance for the walk to our first class." He said and bowed like a true gentleman. I giggled at his antics. If I hadn't already fallen in love with him than Jasper's answering smile would have done the job quite nicely. He had never smiled at me like that. It was so open and warm, and of course devastatingly sexy.

We started to walk to class and I dimly realized that everyone at the parking lot was looking at us. I had to admit I was as shocked as the others at this unexpected change, but I wasn't questioning my luck. _If Jazz wanted to walk me to class who was I to stop him!_ I hoped to God it was the beginning of a new routine and not just a one time thing. We weren't talking about anything serious just usual small talk stuff, but when we sat down and Jasper turned back to me I blurted out the question that was at the tip of my tongue ever since I saw him waiting for me.

"You are coming over this afternoon, right?" Even I could hear the desperate hoping in my voice and I cringed at my inability to stay casual.

"Well, yes, if it is still alright with you." He said very seriously and I panicked. Did I do something that suggested he wasn't welcome? Did he seriously think that I didn't want to spend time with him? Soon I was in total panic mode.

"Of course it's alright. Jasper…" I started to quickly explain myself when the mischievous look in his eyes stopped the start of what would have been a very insane rambling. I looked at him through narrowed eyes.

"Jasper Whitlock! You were playing with me!" I cried incredulously. However, his answering deep, heartfelt laugh made up for any hurt on my part. I sat there looking at him mesmerized by the sound. It was the first genuine laugh I had heard from him.

When he calmed down he simply said. "Oh, Alice, I couldn't let that one pass!" And then he winked at me. _Okay, was I in an alternate universe? What the hell happened to him?_ You know what? I didn't give a damn; I was going to enjoy it as long as it lasted.

It seemed that Jasper's good mood lasted all day long even when he came over to study. When we arrived to my room we settled town on my sofa. I could see that he was excited about something. I decided to investigate.

"Are you alright? You are almost bouncing with excitement like I usually do." I told him teasingly, but in truth I was very curious.

"First of all, Alice, I don't think that anyone can bounce like you do. Least of all me. But I'm really excited about something." He said pretending to be hurt at my words.

"Alright. So what's up?" I asked this time genuinely curious.

"I had an idea about this diary that we are making." He started to explain and I wanted to kick myself. Of course he was so excited about our project! What else could have made him so happy? "So I thought we could include some sketches into it. You know, about a couple of other soldiers, battles scenes, stuff like that. And I don't know whether you like this idea or not, but I took the liberty and I made some sketches. So what do you think?" He finally asked. Hmm… Let me think. He was offering to include his beautiful drawings into our project and he let me look at them all I wanted? The answer to that would be: _Hell yeah! Gimme!_ But out loud I simply said.

"That's a very good idea! Do you have the drawings with you now?" I asked.

"Yes, they are in my bag." He turned to search for them. As he bent down to his bag his shirt rode up around his waist and I saw that he was wearing grey underwear that was showing a bit out of his jeans. I quickly averted my eyes before he caught me. _Holy hell!_ I had just seen a little piece of Jasper's underwear! _Oh, God, please don't let me blush now!_ But as perverted as my brain was I started to wonder what type he wore? Were those briefs, boxers or boxer briefs? I couldn't tell it from just the waistband I saw. In the meantime Jasper sat back in his original position and I willed by brain to focus on the topic at hand.

"Here, they are." He gave me a sketch book and it was full of drawings. I raised an eyebrow at him. "What can I say? Inspiration had struck me." He chuckled.

"Yeah, I see." I said, but I was focused on the pictures. They showed various types of soldiers from old to young, from ragged looking to neat ones. There were pictures that depicted battle scenes complete with cannons, horses, fighting and dead bodies. These pictures were incredible detailed and breathtakingly beautiful. While looking at them I felt like I went back in time and I was present at these events. After long minutes I lifted my head and looked at Jasper. I was speechless. I couldn't have formed words at that moment. However, Jasper had misunderstood my silence. "We don't have to use them, Alice. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea. They aren't that good to…"

I didn't let him finish. "Are you crazy?" I said so loudly that I shocked Jasper.

I took a deep breath and started to explain. "Jasper, I don't have the words to explain how wonderful these pictures are. They are so detailed and lifelike that it felt like I was walking around these people and these scenes."

"Are you sure?" He looked at me skeptically. "You don't just say it to spare my feelings?"

"Oh, Jasper!" I was very indignant. "Why can't you see your talent? Can I ask whether you drew them from your mind or you had a source?" I asked knowing that a change in topic was needed.

"Well, I simply sat down and imagined what the era and the people could be like. And when inspiration struck I started to draw how I imagined a major in the war saw the world around himself." He explained shrugging his shoulders like it was nothing. Jasper was way more talented that even I gave credit for. But I didn't understand how he couldn't see it.

"Did you show them to anybody else?" I asked. "Your grandfather for instance?"

"I showed him a couple of them, but not all." He said.

"And what did he say?" I pressed on. I wanted him to realize how talented he was.

"He liked them." He said again shrugging.

"Then why did you think they weren't good?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

After a little pause he said. "Well, he is my grandpa so he is biased."

"Well, do you think I'm biased, too?" I asked him. This time the pause was longer. _What the hell?_ I could see that he was debating something.

He sighed deeply. "I think that as my friend you are a little partial, too." It seemed that wasn't the entire truth, but I saw that he was becoming uncomfortable so I let it slide.

"Well, then we are going to include them in our project and let the teacher rate them." I said and decided to add teasingly. "I can assure you he will be impartial." Well, if the teacher was gay then that was an entirely different story.

As my week long punishment finally ended on Saturday night, I was up and about on Sunday to enjoy my new freedom. And what better way to celebrate it than going shopping? Dad got into the habit of ordering very rare and classic DVDs online, but he was a bit computer shy and he got them shipped to a store in Port Angeles. I tried to explain to him to order them to our house, but he couldn't fix his original settings. But this time I didn't complain about it, it gave me the perfect excuse to get out of the house. Edward offered to go with me, but I declined. Somehow I wanted to be alone this time, plus this way I could take my Porsche.

I arrived to Port Angeles with plenty of time to have a little browsing through the shops in the mall while I was in town and I could leave the movies for later. However, soon the curiosity got the better of me and I headed to the DVD store as Dad didn't tell me which movies he ordered. While I was coming out of the store I was examining these movies as I had never heard of them before. I was so immersed into the plot review that I wasn't watching my way and I ended up crashing into someone. I started to apologize, but quickly stopped me the sound I heard. I would have known that chuckle anywhere. I quickly looked up to make sure that it really was Jasper and not just a very authentic imagination. When I lifted my head I was face to face with a smiling Jasper. One look into those beautiful eyes and I was gone. _Oh, God, how can someone be so unbelievably gorgeous?_ He was wearing stone washed jeans and a V-neck black sweater that brought out the fairness of his hair. _He looked delicious!_ As my brain started to process every little detail about Jazz, I found that he was holding me by my hand. I suddenly realized that I hadn't moved from my original position when I bumped into him. One thing was sure, I wasn't going to be the one who moved first. I enjoyed his closeness and touch too much to do that. It seemed that Jasper didn't have the same preoccupation as he soon let go of me and he was the first to speak. _Why can't I affect him as much as he does to me?_

"What a lovely surprise for a Sunday morning?" He said still smiling and teasingly added. "You sure start shopping early."

"Well, I was just picking up movies that Dad had ordered and the shopping will start after this. So it's not that early." I explained to him in the same teasing manner as he used. I cocked my head to the side while looking at him. "You, on the other hand, started your day very early. So what's your excuse?"

"There is a pharmacy here that makes special natural meds by order. Grandpa had asked me to place an order for him and it will be ready in a couple of hours. So I have some time to spare." While he explained it to me he, too cocked his head and imitated my pose. I laughed lightly at this, but soon the meaning of his words sunk in. He had hours to kill? Would he be against spending that time with me?

"So what did you plan to do till then?" I asked because I thought I could tag along to whatever he wanted to do. Now I just have to be subtle and tactful so he wouldn't feel pressured.

"Well, I was headed to a store to get a new sketch book and some other necessary tools for drawing." He paused for a minute then added. "Would you like to come with me?" _Yay!_ I managed to bite back the squeal that wanted to erupt from my throat and simply answered. "Yes, if you don't mind." And I smiled at him sweetly.

"I don't mind. I had just invited you." He said softly while returning my smile.

While we were walking toward the store he wanted to check out we engaged in a little small talk about our weekend. I experimented with how close I could get to him without him noticing and I gladly noted that we were so close that occasionally our hands brushed up against each other. When it had happened the first time I was afraid that he was going to put some distance between us, but it never happened. He stayed right where he was. I was so happy about this visible proof of him getting more and more comfortable with me. In the store he explained to me many things about the tools he needed, like what brand was good and why or why he preferred them. I noticed that Jasper could talk very amiable about subjects that really interested him. For example, every time he talked about the Civil War his eyes held a certain spark that usually was missing. And now the spark was back in his eyes. I liked when it happened, it made him look even more beautiful if that was possible.

To my great delight when he finished his shopping he offered to accompany me on mine. I had to be careful about my over exuberance when it came to shopping. If I didn't watch out, I would scar him for life and then he would never want to come with me again. So I decided to only check out a couple of my favorite shops. I was browsing through the new section of summer dresses when Jasper spoke up.

"So when do you start explaining to me about your choices?" He asked indicating the clothes I put in the basket with his head. "I told you everything about my choices." He said while pouting adorably. I giggled at his antics.

"Well, the first I check out is the designer and then the color. If I found something that has a good designer in a good color I put them in the basket and later put them on to see whether they fit me." As I rambled on about this when it suddenly occurred to me that it must be very boring for him and he was too polite to say anything. "Sorry, this much clothing talk must be boring you." I blushed a little.

"I assure you it isn't. So go on. What happens then?" He asked, but chuckled.

"Are you sure you want to hear it?" I asked very unsure of myself at that point. "Guys usually don't like to hear about these kinds of things." There, I had given him a free card to get out if this conversation.

"Well, I guess I'm just not like other guys." He said while raising an eyebrow. Well, that I had noticed. It was like he was made for me. He walked a couple of steps ahead and held up a gorgeous emerald green dress.

"What about this? Does it have the appropriate designer and color?" He asked smiling a little teasing smile. _God, how much I loved him!_ At times like this my heart swelled up in my chest and wanted to burst out. It was like my love for him flowed around my entire body wanting to get out. Slowly I walked up to him and checked out the dress. Hmm… I had to admit Jasper had great taste so without a word I put the dress in my basket. I saw Jasper smirking at me and I giggled. _I had never felt better in my entire life!_ Jasper accompanied me to the changing booths so I gave him a mini fashion show. Surprisingly he was very honest about the dresses and didn't just say to every one of them that they were okay. I could tell that he really liked that emerald dress so naturally I bought it. When we stepped out of the last shop my stomach suddenly rumbled very loudly which made Jasper chuckle.

"And there is the proof that shopping is a very energy consuming activity. I see that you are starving." He said.

"Oh, shut up! It's way past my lunch time so of course I'm hungry." I said and without thinking playfully hit his arm. He tensed only for a millisecond, but I noticed it anyway. But fortunately this little incident didn't ruin our time and our light and playful banter was back in full force.

"So what do you say to get something to eat?" I asked him, hoping that it didn't sound too desperate. We had spent the whole morning together and I was still greedy for more. I simply couldn't let him go, definitely not yet.

"Okay, we have to feed you after all." He answered casually. I was so elated by his easy acceptance. I quickly suggested the restaurant _Bella Italia_ because that was the only place I knew around there.

In the restaurant Jasper walked up to the hostess and asked for a table for two. She was looking at Jasper like a thirsty man at a glass of water and she was completely ignoring me. While she escorted us to the table, she walked in front of us shaking her ass to get Jasper's attention. I chanced a look at him to see the result, but I found that he wasn't looking at her at all, he was smiling at me. So I heaved a sigh of relief, he wasn't interested in her. We settled into our seats in front of each other, but before I could feel completely relieved our waitress arrived. She was very beautiful with long, curly brown hair and a body that was a total knockout. She could give even Rose a run for her money. I suddenly felt really insignificant in the presence of this woman; she was the polar opposite of me. And like her appearance wouldn't be intimidating enough she was shamelessly flirting with my Jazzy.

"Hello, my name is Mona. I'm going to be your waitress today. What can I get you?" She asked, but it was clear that her question was only directed to Jasper, and her tone was very suggestive. I wanted to cry. But then something very unexpected happened. Suddenly I felt a hand covering mine, it was the first time that Jasper had initiated an intimate contact with me. I looked up at him to see his eyes boring into my very soul. And I knew for once that I didn't have to worry about this gorgeous woman because she clearly wasn't a threat when it came to the gorgeous boy in front of me who was ignoring her. After that our lunch was very pleasant, and I was extremely happy to note that the waitress was clearly frustrated by her attempts being crashed.

After lunch we went to get the medicine from the pharmacy because it was time for us to go home. Jasper escorted me to my car, and I giggled at his reaction to the Porsche.

"Holy fucking shit! Is that your car?" He asked with an incredulous expression on his face.

"Yep!" I said popping the 'p'.

"Wow!" He reached out to touch it, but quickly dropped his hand. "I had never seen a Porsche in real life." He said in awe.

I felt really happy and lightheaded as a result of this fantastic day. I stood on the tip of my toes to reach his ear and whispered. "You can touch it, it won't bite." He turned toward me and our faces were only inches away from each other. I couldn't possibly imagine the expression on my face at that moment, but it had to be somewhere between absolute elation and pure lust. _Please kiss me!_ I pleaded silently. An adorable smirk appeared on his handsome face. He reached out with his hand only to run it through the hood of my car stepping away. I laughed in frustration. That boy was very dangerous.

I spent the whole journey to home in my Jasper induced haze. I was hoping that I wouldn't crash the car.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 12

I spent the rest of my Sunday daydreaming about Jasper. I still felt high on happiness because I had spent almost an entire day with Jasper alone when I didn't have to worry about any kind of interruption. So when Mom asked how my day was I simply smiled like a fool, and of course she instantly knew that I was with Jazzy. We were in the kitchen sipping tea while we talked.

"Oh, Mom, I love him so much!" I said in a dreamy voice.

Mom chuckled. "I know, honey."

"Can I ask you something?" I asked still not entirely sure that I wanted to utter what I had in mind.

"Of course, Alice." She said with an encouraging smile.

I took a deep breath and spit it out. "When Edward and I talked, he had an intriguing suggestion. He had said that based on Jasper's reserved nature it should be me who made the first move. And I wondered what you thought about this?" Mom always gave me such wonderful advice that I wanted her opinion on this one. It was a very important issue.

Mom was deep in thought for a little while before she spoke up. "Before I say anything, tell me what _you_ had thought about his advice." She said with genuine interest.

"Well, I had thought about it a lot." I told her truthfully. "I think that he was onto something. As I'm getting to know Jasper more and more I think that he might be interested in me, but I have this feeling that no matter what, he wouldn't do anything about this. But I don't understand why he does it. What keeps him back? But as I love him very much, I'm willing to do anything to make something happen between us even if this means that I have to make the first move."

"It seems to me that you have already made up your mind about this whole thing." Mom said with a gentle smile.

"Yes, but I'd really like to hear your opinion." I looked at her pleadingly.

"Alright. First of all, I think it's a very risky idea. I don't think you know Jasper enough to do that, and it could cause him to shut down, and then you would loose his friendship as well. As you said we don't know why Jasper is acting this way and I have a suspicion that it isn't just because of his reserved nature. Think about it! He lives with his grandfather and not his parents. We know that his mother had died, but we know absolutely nothing about his father. He probably had lost both of his parents, and that's not easy thing to get over. He probably still suffers from the trauma of those events." Mom took a deep breath and continued with a smile. "Second, I know you, and I know that you will do what you think is best. So my advice is if you are so set on telling him you should wait for the perfect opportunity. You can't just blurt out your feelings out of nowhere. You have to build up to it."

I sighed. As I was listening to Mom I could see that she was right in many ways, but still I was hoping for a more direct advice.

"But I don't have any idea how to do that. You know that I don't have many experiences with boys. And Jasper is very important to me, I don't want to screw it up!" I said dejectedly. _Why can't Jasper be easy?_ Well, I guess it's part of his charm.

"I know, honey." Mom patted my hand. "I know that it doesn't feel like it, but I can assure you that you are making great progress with him. You had said yourself how open he had been with you this morning. You just have to continue in the same manner and everything will fall in place. You can't plan love; everything will take their proper course. Trust me!" She said.

I had to admit that she was right. After all, I just had the most amazing time with Jasper and the whole thing was pure accident. I didn't plan on meeting him. So maybe it was a good idea to leave everything in the hand of fate because I didn't have any doubt that Jasper and I were meant to be together. He just needed time to come to the same conclusion.

"Thank you for everything." I told Mom and gave her a heartfelt hug.

"Any time, honey."

On Tuesday afternoon I was hanging out with Edward and Bella in the living room. Emmett was at Rosalie's supposedly studying, but I doubted they studied much unless it was human anatomy. The two of them was a nightmare to be around these days. I could tell that something important happened between Bella and Edward, too. I was going to talk to Bella about it because as close as Edward and I were it was something that we didn't discuss. Plus I wanted a nice girly chat with Bella because nowadays we hadn't had time for a real conversation. She was always with Edward, and I was too preoccupied with trying to understand Jasper's actions. He hadn't been waiting for me in the parking lot yesterday, but today he did. However, I noticed that when we were together just the two of us he was just as nice and flirty as he had been on Sunday, but when we were with the group he was just simply friendly. It proved that he was the most comfortable in my company and I was very happy about this development. So I tried to think up ways to get Jasper alone with me.

Another issue that was on my mind was Halloween's approach. Back in Alaska we always had a Halloween school dance when we put on costumes and had a good time. However, in Forks there were no fliers about an approaching dance. On another note I had very ambiguous feelings about a dance if there was really one. I could only imagine going to a dance with Jasper, but I knew for sure that that was something that he didn't enjoy. It didn't seem to be his scene. I decided to ask Bella about the whole Halloween issue before I make myself crazy about something that probably wouldn't even happen.

"So Bella, I have a question." I turned to her and her expression was pretty funny. She had that dear caught in the headlight expression going and I giggled. Earlier I let her know that I wanted to talk to her about their relationship and now she thought that I was referring to that. So I quickly continued. "It's about Halloween. Will there be a dance in the school on Halloween?"

Her expression was extremely relived. "Um… no. The only dance that Forks High hosts is the prom and no other dances till then." She answered. Well, that eased my feelings on not going with Jasper, but still I liked Halloween. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, Alice is obsessed with holidays, and don't forget that this is a holiday when she can dress up any way she wants." Edward answered for me. I simply stuck my tongue out at him.

"And nobody throw a party maybe?" I continued my line of questioning.

"No, not really. I mean last year Lauren threw one, but I think it was just another one of her ploys to get Jasper." She rolled her eyes. _God, that girl really was a bitch!_ It was no surprise that I strongly disliked her and judging from the glares she usually gave me I could tell the feeling was mutual.

"I don't understand why girls are so hang up on Jasper." Edward said while shaking his head. "He doesn't seem to be special to me. He is just a normal guy."

"I would be more worried if you understood his appeal." I said while wiggling my eyebrow at him. He just rolled his eyes at my antics. I continued. "Trust me, Edward! Jasper isn't just a normal guy, he is a very very good looking and special boy."

"Whatever!" It was Edward's only reply.

This whole Halloween thing was bugging me all week long. I didn't want to throw a party at our house because for one I knew my parents were going to be there and that was just icky. For two I knew I wouldn't enjoy myself, the host never did. Later it turned out that my whole agonizing was for nothing. One day during dinner Dad had news.

"I hope you guys know what you want to dress as this Halloween." He announced out of nowhere and he chuckled at our stunned expressions. "One of my colleagues is throwing a costume party and every kid over 16 can come, too."

"Cool! Can we bring a date?" It was Emmett who first reacted.

Dad glanced at me briefly. "Yes, if you'd like."

Well, that was a bummer. I knew that I was going alone, Jasper and I were nowhere near going somewhere together. But on the bright side, I would go to a costume party. I had to think up a very good costume.

Later I was laying in bed thinking about dresses as usual when Edward knocked on the door.

"Hey, Ali! Do you have a minute?" He asked and laid down next to me on the bed.

"Yes. Do you need advice on a costume?" I asked teasingly.

"No, I know what I'm going to wear." He said, but held up his hand to stop my question and continued. "We'll talk about it later. I just wanted to tell that I'll be your date for the party."

"Oh, that's very sweet of you, but you shouldn't. You can go with your girlfriend, don't worry about me." I squeezed his hand that was right next to mine. His concern was touching.

Suddenly he laughed. "Have you met my girlfriend?" He asked, but at my blank look he added. "I had just talked to her on the phone. She freaked out at the mere mention of a costume party. You know it's not something she likes and I won't force her into it. But you, on the other hand, are very fond of these things. So I let you enjoy the pleasure of my company for the evening." He said and I giggled at him.

"Thanks." I said. I really loved my brother. "So back to the costumes? What are you going as?" I asked him. I was excited at the prospect of costume shopping.

"Edward Scissorhand." He said simply. Edward had wanted to dress like that forever, but we never could fine anything good for his hand. "I found the perfect hands on the net." He said. "So what are you going as?"

"I don't know yet. I had to seriously think about it." I said already thinking about possible outfits.

"Okay, then I will leave you alone with your thoughts." He said as he was getting up. "Good night, Ali!"

"Good night!" I said absentmindedly.

After careful consideration I decided to go as Scarlett O'Hara from _Gone with the Wind_. I had always liked her dresses in the movie and decided on the green and white dress she wore for the barbecue in the beginning of the movie. In Seattle there was a great costume shop and I went there with Mom and Rose to pick up the costumes for everyone. Mom was dressing as a witch and Dad was a wizard to match her. Rose decided to be Morticia from the Adams family complete with a black wig, I had to say she managed to pull off that look. Emmett was a nightmare. He was very fond of Halloween just as I was, but it only gave him an excuse to let his inner child out. He bugged me a lot because he wanted me to dress as Tinkerbell. He said I looked just like her, but when I flipped him the bird he quickly concentrated on himself. It took him even more time than me to decide on a costume. He finally settled on Superman when we could talk him out of going as a bear.

I was very satisfied with my dress. It was gorgeous. I watched the movie again to make sure that my Scarlett was authentic. I helped Mom with her dress and makeup and then I helped Edward to look pale like Johnny Depp did in the movie. Edward didn't need a wig, his hair was messy enough for the part. When he got ready I still had plenty of time to get ready. I got the dress out of my closet and it still looked beautiful. After I showered I put the dress on and sat down to my vanity to perfect my look. I even got a wig with green ribbons in it and made my makeup to match to the actress'. When I was ready I looked into the mirror and I noted satisfied that I looked like Scarlett herself. I went downstairs to join everybody in the living room. Naturally I was the last one to get ready, but perfection takes time.

"Oh, Alice, you like a true Southern belle." Dad complimented me so I tried out Scarlett O'Hara's coy look on him which made everybody laugh. We were waiting for Rose. The party was held in Port Angeles in the ballroom of a 5 star hotel. We were going in two cars: Mom and Dad in their car and we kids in Edward's Volvo. And with this a sudden thought occurred to me.

"Hey, Edward! If your hands are scissors, does that mean that I'm driving tonight?" I asked him.

"Very funny, Ali!" He meant it sarcastically, but I saw that his mouth twitched.

I took a picture of him in his outfit and sent it to Bella. She immediately called me back.

"Hey, Alice!" She greeted me. "You are a genius! Edward looks exactly like … Edward!" We laughed at her silly joke. Then she continued. "When can I get a picture of your outfit? I'm very curious." As she said that I heard Edward take a picture of me.

"Well, any minute now. Edward had just taken a picture." I said smiling.

"Hold on! I take a look." She said and checked out her phone.

"You look beautiful, Alice!" She said. "Very authentic with the cell phone in your hand."

"Funny. If you keep that up I will go over and drag you with us." There was a silence on the other end.

"I promise to be good." She said sincerely.

"Okay, but I'll pass my phone to Edward as he is about to snatch it out of my hand." I said and I wasn't lying.

"Okay. Have a good night!" She said.

"I will. Bye!" I said and then passed my phone to my brother who eagerly grabbed it.

Soon Rose arrived as well. She looked very much like Morticia did in the movie. When we all were together Mom took out her camera and took several pictures of us before we finally set out for Port Angeles. The drive was a little slower than usual as Mom and Dad drove in front of us and we couldn't very well overtake them. During the ride Edward put on some loud music to drown out the noises of Emmett and Rose making out on the backseat. _Classy!_ As I was sitting in the passenger seat I let my mind wander to my favorite topic: Jasper. I wondered what he was doing. It was Saturday night so he wasn't working. It occurred to me that I had no idea what he usually did on Saturdays when he didn't come over. I hadn't told him about this party, I tried to avoid the topic because I knew if I had said something about it I would have blurted out an invitation, too. And that would have been disastrous. Even though we only made slow progress I liked where we were right now and I didn't want to ruin it. I really liked our study sessions as we talked more and more about personal stuff as well. I recalled our latest session on Wednesday.

_Jasper and I was sitting on the sofa as usual, but this time we weren't talking about the project or the Civil War. With a little tact I directed our conversation to a more personal direction when I asked him about his favorite painter._

"_Well, I would say my mother." He said thoughtfully. "But to say a more well known artist, it had to be Pablo Picasso. Especially his cubic phase."_

_I nodded and as it was him who brought up his mother I asked about her._

"_Was it your mother who taught you to draw?" I asked softly._

"_Well, at the time I was too young to really understand her advice, but I continued drawing even after her death to keep her memory alive." He answered, but I noticed that his countenance darkened at some unspoken memory so I quickly changed the subject._

"_Well, I don't want you to laugh at me, but I made some little sketches for our project, too." I said playfully trying to bring him back to the present. Fortunately it worked._

"_Oh, really? Can I see them?" He asked with a smile._

"_Only if you promise not to laugh." I tried to look at him sternly._

"_I promise. So what are they about?" He asked._

"_Well, as your pictures depicted men and battles I depicted women and their clothes of the time." I said and I handed him a couple of papers. I watched him studying the drawings._

"_So what do you think?" I asked as I couldn't handle the silence any more. I hoped he liked them._

"_They are very good, Alice!" He said and I felt a but in his voice that he didn't utter._

_So I prompted. "But?" _

_He chuckled at my eagerness. "The clothes are really beautifully drawn in detail, but the women need some polishing." He said and then gestured with his pencil toward a female figure. "May I?"_

_I nodded and watch in fascination as he corrected my work._

"_You know I have an explanation as to why the dress is good and the woman is not." I started conversationally._

"_Oh yeah?" He asked without looking up._

"_Yes. I like designing clothes and when I draw them I only sketch the dress without a person wearing it." I explained._

"_And is it something you'd like to study in the future?" He asked. "I mean fashion."_

"_Yes, I had thought about becoming a designer." I said and then asked. "And what about you? Have you thought about what you want to do with your future?"_

"_I have some ideas, but nothing definite." He said without elaborating._

"_Like?" I prompted._

_He chuckled. "I either continue drawing on a professional level or I study history." He said and added. "I haven't decided yet." _

_I liked his openness, but know I wondered where he was going to study after high school. Where was I going?_

All this thinking of Jasper made me wish that it was us who were making out on the backseat. I wondered if we ever would do that. I didn't think Jasper was that type, and to tell the truth neither was I.

We arrived to the hotel and I had to admit everything looked really fine. A valet took our car and we were ushered to a beautifully decorated room. It was huge and filled with people in different outfits. Mom and Dad led us to greet Dr. Brown and his wife who were the hosts. While our parents engaged in small talk, we kids wandered around the room. Emmett and Rose went to the dance floor and they started to dance. Fortunately they didn't engage in some dirty dancing. Edward and I were talking about other people's outfits; there was a whole range of different costumes. Everyone was wearing a costume even the waiting stuff, they looked like pirates in boots and leather pants with white shirts and hats. We spotted some of our classmates, too, like Angela and Ben, and to Edward's displeasure Mike and Jessica. I giggled at Edward's expression when we spotted them.

Suddenly I stopped dead in my tracks as I spotted a familiar figure across the room. There he was, Jasper. Correction, Jasper in a sexy pirate outfit. _Oh, my God! I think I am about to hyperventilate!_ He looked extremely sexy. His blond locks were showing under his hat and I noticed that some of the buttons on his shirt were undone near his collarbone. _Oh, my!_ Was it me or the room really felt hot! When he turned around and I saw his fine ass in leather pants, I was sure I was going to faint. Oh, come on! Give me a break! That boy looked like a walking wet dream! _Well, he was actually my walking wet dream!_

"Shut your mouth before the birds start nesting in it!" Edward whispered into my ear with a chuckle. I hadn't realized that I was staring at Jazz with an open mouth.

"It's Jasper's fault!" I said petulantly.

"How is your drooling is his fault?" He asked teasingly. Before I could let him know what I thought we were interrupted by the arrival of Emmett and Rose.

"Oh, my God! Alice did you know that Jasper was here?" Rose asked in a hushed tone.

"Yeah, I have just seen him!" I said dreamily.

"He is fucking hot!" Rose cried earning a dirty look from Emmett.

"Oh, Rosie! Not you, too!" He whined. However, Rose didn't react to him.

"So are you going to go up to him?" She asked me.

"I don't know." I sighed. "I let him find me!" I said and suddenly realized that I had said that out loud. Edward and Rose chuckled, but Emmett was still pissed. So Rose dragged him back to the dance floor to console him.

When Edward went to get something to eat I scanned the crowd for another glimpse of Jazzy, but I couldn't find him. I sighed deeply in disappointment.

"Looking for Ashley Wilkes or rather Rhett Butler?" Came in a Southern drawl from behind me. His voice sent a shiver down my spine. I slowly turned around to face my gorgeous pirate. I gasped as up close he was even more breathtaking! _It was so unfair!_ _And holy hell!_ I can see his collarbone! And the shirt he was wearing was made out of a very flimsy material making it almost transparent.

"A drink for the lovely lady?" He offered the tray he was holding with a bow. I giggled and accepted a glass. I saw that his eyes were running up and down on my body. _Oh, my God, he was checking me out!_

"So do you like my costume?" I asked him and it came out a little flirty.

He took a step back and openly looked at me and I shivered in reaction to his bold gaze.

"I have to tell you, Alice, you look like a true Southern belle. You are lovelier than Scarlett O'Hara herself!" He said and a little admiration slipped into his voice. I was very pleased with this. Maybe he wasn't so unaffected by me as I had always thought.

"Thank you!" I said with a courtesy which made him laugh. _Oh, I loved the sound of his laugh!_ "Your pirate costume is nice, too." I said. It was a huge understatement.

"Yeah, well it's mandatory for the waiters." He simply said.

"How come you work here?" I asked him and I was really curious about it. I didn't know he was working outside of the Diner.

"Dr. Brown is my grandfather's doctor and he knows that we need the extra money so whenever he throws a party he offers me a waiting job." He explained. "Well, if you excuse me I have to go around the room."

"Oh, of course. I wouldn't want to hold you up." It was a bold-faced lie. There was nothing that I wanted to do more than hold him up in a dark room, just the two of us.

"I will be back!" He drawled sexily.

Edward soon came back to me.

"I saw you talking to Jasper, but I waited as I didn't want to interrupt." Edward said than added. "I don't think I could handle a tongue lashing like the last time someone interrupted you with Jasper." I swatted his arm in retaliation. Ever since that night Edward and Emmett liked to tease me about my rant.

"Ok, I give up." He said. "So what did you two talk about?"

"Nothing important. He recognized my costume and complimented it." I said dreamily. "He works here for the extra cash." I said more sobered.

"Hmm… It must be hard working this much beside school." Edward contemplated. He was right, I couldn't do it. I didn't know how Jasper did all this work. I mean he worked every day after school and he still managed to keep his grades up. And today he worked his shift in the Diner and he was here now serving drinks all night long.

Throughout the night I was watching Jasper. I giggled when I saw him jump after an older woman grabbed his ass. _She was a real cougar!_ After that incident I noticed that a lot of women, and not just the girls my age, were watching him. It seemed that Jasper's appeal was the same for every age group. I decided to tease him about it the next time he came up to me. I wanted to know what he thought about this. But his answer shocked me.

"So you seem to be very popular with the ladies tonight!" I said while wiggling my eyebrows suggestively.

He chuckled. "Yeah, it's the pirate outfit!" He shook his head. "At least it gets me nice tips!"

Was it possible that he was completely unaware about his charm? How could he not know that it had nothing to do with the outfit? I mean it's very sexy, but still the other waiters didn't get that much attention as Jazz. He had caught me countless times staring at him plus in school every other girl had hit on him. _Suddenly I had an epiphany!_ I had already known that Jasper lacked confidence when it came to his art, but it seemed that he also lacked confidence in his own appeal. Maybe this was another factor that kept him back from making a move on me. Maybe the problem wasn't just me, maybe the problem was his lack of self-esteem. I knew that whenever the time came to tell Jasper my feelings I had to leave no room for doubt in his mind that I only wanted him and nobody else.

* * *

><p>PS. Thanks for the reviews. I really enjoy reading them so please continue and let me know what you think.<p> 


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 13

The next weekend we had one of the last sunny days before cold winter days began, and Dad was finally able to take some days off, he took the boys for a long awaited camping trip to Goat Rocks. They decided to set out on Friday after school and they would be back on early Sunday afternoon. With the boys out of our way, Mom and I stayed up late on Friday night watching all the chick flicks we wanted. I had invited Bella and Rose for a sleepover on Saturday, and we planed to have a girls' day: we would go shopping together and on my insistence see Jasper in the Diner. I wanted to have lunch there for a change. We used Rose's car again because it was the most suitable one. The plan of action was that Rose would pick me up first at noon then we would go for Bella and then we would stop by the Diner. After I got my Jasper fix for the day we would head to Port Angeles for a little shopping than back to our house for a nice, relaxing and much needed girl talk.

I was happy to note that the Diner was less crowded this time than it usually was. We quickly headed to our usual spot, right in the middle of Jasper's section. We settled in the booth, I sat next to Bella while Rose sat across from us. I started scanning the place and I was happy when I spotted Jazz sitting on a barstool, but my happiness quickly evaporated when I noticed that he was chatting with one of the waitresses. From where I stood it seemed a rather cozy conversation and I felt very jealous. I knew I had no right to, but I loved the boy.

"Do you want me to go over there and snatch all of her hair out?" Rose whispered to me while leaning over. This caused both Bella and me to giggle.

"No." I said smiling.

"Than stop looking at them as it was the end of the world!" Rose said and sounded frustrated. At my curious look she added. "Every time Jasper so much as just looks at any other girl you get all nervous and sad. It's very unhealthy, Alice! And you are not even a couple!" I knew what she had said was true, but I couldn't help it. When I saw Jasper with other girls I immediately started to think that he was interested in them and that he was going to start dating soon.

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid that he will find someone who will interest him." I confessed quietly to them.

"But, Alice, he doesn't seem to be interested in anyone." Bella said, but quickly continued at my hurt expression. "I meant that you are the only one with whom he seems to be comfortable. Maybe he just doesn't want to date." She finished speaking quickly when we saw that Jasper had noticed us and started to walk toward us. That was when I noticed that they had a book between them that suspiciously looked like our literature book. Maybe he was helping her with some homework. So instead of worrying I started to focus on him. He always managed to take my breath away. _He was so gorgeous!_ And I loved him so much. I found harder and harder to keep my emotions in check. It happened on a regular basis that I almost blurted out my feelings for him. It happened when he smiled at me in a particular way or when we were laughing together at something, but fortunately Mom's advice always came to me in time. I couldn't just blurt it out to him, I would scare him away.

"Good afternoon, ladies!" He greeted us in his usual polite manner. It was so sexy, especially in his Southern drawl. We all greeted him in turn and as usual it was only me who sounded breathless. I couldn't help it, every time I spoke to him my voice took on this dreamy quality to it.

"What can I get you?" He asked preparing his notebook to write down our orders. _Too many answers, too little time…_ While Bella and Rose dictated their order I was too preoccupied with taking in his scent and beauty to think about my order. That was until he called my name.

"Alice?" He looked amused.

"Yes?" I asked dreamily. This caused the girls to giggle and Jasper to laugh.

"I asked what I can get you." He said and lifted up his notebook as a reminder that he was working.

I blushed. "Just a garden burger and a coke, please." I said quietly. I was way too embarrassed to look up. Fortunately Bella came to my rescue.

"You have to forgive Alice, Jasper. We are going to Port Angeles for a shopping trip and her mind must be filled with all the dresses she wants to buy." She explained. I shot her a thankful look.

"Oh, that certainly explains everything." He said, but he still seemed amused. What the hell? Soon he went away to get our order.

"For the love of God, Alice! Try to control yourself!" Rose cried dramatically and I just stuck my tongue out at her. "For a minute I thought you are going to jump him!"

"Oh, shut up! I wasn't that bad!" I said and looked at Bella for confirmation.

"I'm sorry, Alice, but you really looked ready to attack him." She smiled at me. So what? They were looking at my brothers the same way and they didn't hear me complain. But sometimes it was sickening to witness the happy couples together.

Soon Jasper arrived with our food. I didn't notice how hungry I was until I saw the food in his hands. Or was it him?

"Well, good appetite, ladies!" Jasper said. "I'll be at the counter if you need anything."

"Are you studying on a Saturday afternoon?" Rose asked him before he could leave, but I guess she asked it for my benefit.

"Well, there isn't much to do around here before the rush, but this time Jane has asked me to explain a couple of things to her." Jasper told us and then went back to Jane. I heaved a sigh of relief. Jane was one of the rare girls who were interested in Edward rather than Jazz. My mood immediately improved. Rose just shook her head at my smiling.

We quickly finished our lunch. As much as I loved Jasper, I was very excited to go shopping with the girls so I was eager to leave.

"Have a nice day with shopping." Jasper said as a goodbye.

"Oh, we will." I told him confidently which caused him to chuckle.

We arrived to Port Angeles in record time. Bella was a little freaked out by the speed at which Rose drove, but wisely never commented on it. Rose wanted to buy some birthday present to her father so first we checked out the men's shops. While I helped her choose something suitable, I also picked up stuff for Emmett and Edward. And I couldn't help looking at certain clothes and I tried to imagine how Jasper would look in them. _Very handsome_, I thought with a smile. When we took care of that business, the real fun began: dressing Bella. Throughout the course of our friendship Bella became more and more flexible for my demands. It was either because she knew she wouldn't win or because she learnt to like them. I suspected it was the former. But she didn't complain much as Edward always liked how I dressed her. We checked out the local Victoria's Secret store and Bella was horrified by some of the lingerie she saw there, but I managed to compromise with her. Rose seemed to be quite comfortable there and she chose some items that even I thought were racy. All in all I could say that all of us had fun that afternoon in Port Angeles.

We arrived home around 6 and had dinner with Mom. We told everything about our trip and after dinner we gave her a mini fashion show about our purchases. Soon we retired to my room for a real girly chat. Mom had already prepared the guest rooms for the girls. We dressed in our night clothes and I was horrified to note that Bella had slept in a ratty old T-shirt and sweatpants.

"Give me a break, Alice! It's Forks for God's sake, it's cold in here." She tried to reason.

"Then why Rose and I wear shorts and tank top?" I asked curious as to what she had to say to that.

"You are used to it!" She practically shouted at us which caused all of us to giggle. But suddenly a wicked glint appeared in her eyes. "I bet Jasper sleeps in sweatpants, too." That opened a floodgate of my imagination in regard to Jasper and sleepwear. I hoped he slept in just his underwear. Or nothing at all. _Hmm…_

"Now look what you have done, Bella! You sent Alice to the la la land of Jasper!" Rose said with a dramatic huff. I couldn't help throwing a pillow at her face which she easily deflected.

"Leave me alone. You are just as bad as I am." I reminded them. "And speaking of which… Bella, is there something you want to tell us?" I asked eagerly. Both Rose and I were looking at her expectantly and that caused Bella to blush crimson.

"Come on! I know something happened." I prompted.

"Well, Edward had told me that he loved me." She said with a smile. I bounced on my bed with happiness, but Rose seemed disappointed.

"That's all?" She asked. "So you two didn't…" She trailed off suggestively causing Bella's blush to go nuclear.

"No." It was Bella's barely audible answer.

"Well, I guess it takes time for the first time." Rose said and then added thoughtfully. "It will be the first time for both of you, right?"

"Yes." Bella whispered. At this point I doubted that her face would gain back its natural color, it seemed to become red permanently. On the other hand, it was interesting that Rose knew that my brother was a virgin, too. Maybe Emmett had told her.

"How do you know about Edward?" I asked very curiously.

"Oh, it's easy to tell whether a guy had experience or not. Admittedly Edward was a little harder to judge, but I knew it was safe to assume." Rose explained to me, but then turned back to Bella. "I guess every relationship is different. I mean it didn't take long to Emmett and I, but neither one of us was a virgin. It came more naturally to us. You and Edward have to experiment first. And it will be entirely different for Alice and Jasper, that is, if Alice can finally manage to get him." She looked pointed at me. But I didn't have any idea what she meant.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean that Jasper has experience and you don't." She said matter-of-factly. I simply stared at her blankly. Jasper had experience? Well, that wasn't a thought that I wanted to dwell on much.

Rose continued despite my lack of reaction. "Oh, come on! You couldn't have thought that he was a virgin!"

"Well, I guess I have never given it much thought." I mused then asked. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Jasper is a very hot guy so he never lacks offers. And yes, he rejects everyone here, but I'm sure he had someone back in Texas. He doesn't give out that vibe that would indicate he didn't have experience." Rose explained to me, but she grew concerned when I still didn't show any reaction.

"Are you alright, Alice? I hope I didn't freak you out." She said softly.

"No, it's just…" I trailed of not knowing how to explain it. I didn't even know what to think of it. That was totally new information. "It's just a new thing to think about, that's all."

But of course after that the only thing I could think about was whether Rose was right or not. And what if she was right? Who was Jasper's first? Was he in love? _Wait a minute!_ Was he still in love with some mysterious Texan beauty? I tried to put a stop to this line of thinking. It would do no good to think about these kinds of things. But however hard I tried these questions popped into my mind more often.

The next weeks came and passed in similar manner, nothing excited had happened. Jasper and I continued deepening our friendship and almost every day I had learnt something new about him. And I was delighted that on many occasion it was Jasper who initiated personal conversations with me. He usually asked me about my family or my life before we had moved to Forks. In turn I asked him about his mother and grandfather, but made sure to never bring up his father. He had to be the one who started that particular conversation.

I liked this period of the year when one holiday was quickly followed by another. We hardly got over Halloween when I could worry about Thanksgiving, and then my favorite holiday, Christmas. This year's Thanksgiving promised to be quite interesting. Edward had invited Bella and her father over for the holiday dinner. A Thanksgiving with the Police Chief! I wondered how Emmett would act, but let Edward worry about that. We were discussing this exact topic during one lunch period.

"Wow. A thanksgiving dinner with the town's police chief. It's very impressive." It was Jasper's first reaction. Initially, I wanted to invite him over, but decided against it. I was sure he preferred to stay with his grandfather and Edward had already invited guests. However, I had no idea how I was going to endure four whole days without seeing my Jazzy. Well, my cell phone would be used extensively. It was rare for us to talk on the phone, but occasionally it happened. _And desperate times called for desperate measures!_ I decided to ask Jazz about his holiday plans.

"So what are your plans for the holiday?" I asked and then I remembered something. "You aren't working, are you?"

"No, I'm not working on holidays." He said with a smile. "I will be watching the football game with grandpa I guess. I don't have specific plans."

That didn't surprise me. I learnt that Jasper never made plans for anything; he perfectly balanced my control freak tendencies. However, this conversation offered new information about him.

"I didn't know you like football?" I asked smiling.

"Yeah, I like watching it whenever I can. Are you a fan, too?" He asked amused. No doubt picturing me in a football fan outfit.

"No, but Dad and the boys always watch the match." I told him, and the conversation briefly turned to the topic of football with Emmett and Rose joining in. It didn't surprise me that Rose was into sports. Despite her bombshell appearance and her style deep down she was a tomboy.

At home when I had finished all my homework I went down to the kitchen to help Mom with the dinner. This became like a new habit. Now I was trusted to be in the kitchen even on my own, and I could prepare the most basic dishes. _I was quite proud of myself!_ However, this afternoon Mom had a very big surprise in store for me. I was washing the salad when she broke the news.

"You would never guess whom I ran into today at the store?" She said excitedly. I had no idea who made her so eager. She was almost bouncing.

"Who?" I asked curiously.

"Mr. Jackson, Jasper's grandfather." She said with a wide smile. Okay, but that still didn't explain her behavior.

"Oh, really? How was he?" I asked interested.

"Oh, he was fine. We talked for a while." She paused dramatically and came out with the big announcement. "I had invited him and Jasper over for Thanksgiving."

I stared at her in open-mouthed shock. Was it possible? Could I spend a holiday with Jazzy?

"Are you serious?" I had to make sure before I reacted too strongly.

"Yes, and he had accepted in both of their names." She said and looked at me expectantly. I was only capable of squealing in delight. And that of course made Mom laugh. I was deliriously happy. My mom was the best! I quickly ran to her and gave her my biggest hug!

"Thank you! Thank you!" I chanted while bouncing up and down. And this was the pose that Dad later found us in.

"What happened here?" He asked clearly very amused.

"I had just told Alice about our guests for Thanksgiving." Mom told him smiling.

"I didn't know Alice was so fond of the chief." Dad teased me. I only huffed at him. Nothing could ruin my mood this time.

Soon the day of Thanksgiving rolled around and I was very excited for the day to come. Surprisingly Jasper was quite okay with spending the holiday with my family. It seemed that his grandfather was either very persuasive or had some power over him. I wished I had some kind of power over him. Of course I would take advantage of that power… I could make him fall in love with me and I could finally kiss him all the time. I found myself getting frustrated with repressed sexual energy that was fuelled by my dreams. Every time I was alone with Jasper I had to forcefully hold myself back from kissing him or blurting out my feelings. And Jasper's newfound flirty attitude didn't help me with the self control issue. The more I thought about it the more convinced I became that Jazz must know how I feel. I mean it was very obvious. There was no way he could miss it, still he never made a move. But why not? I couldn't imagine what was holding him back? We were friends, we knew each other pretty well and I knew that he wasn't indifferent to me. I longed for a relationship with him! It was getting hard to cope with my brothers' happiness when I was stuck in the friend zone with Jasper. I hoped that this Thanksgiving could be a turning point for us.

Bella and her father came over at around four. Bella brought home made pie that smelled delicious. Bella's father initially was very suspicious of Edward and their relationship which was understandable as Bella was his only daughter. But with my help he warmed up to Edward. The chief and I had a very friendly relationship; we were on first name basis. I was like a second daughter to him. I was getting excited by the minute because any minute now Jasper could arrive. I wanted this occasion to be special so I decided to wear the emerald dress that Jasper had chosen once. I put on a touch of makeup just enough to enhance my eyes. The color of the dress really brought the green out of my eyes and I looked really good. Everyone was in the living room when the doorbell rang. I squalled and ran for the door.

"What was that all about?" I faintly heard Charlie ask.

I opened the door to the most beautiful sight ever. Jasper was wearing a dark suit with a white button down shirt and amazingly a green tie. I had to giggle as we matched. Jasper seemed to notice this as I heard him chuckle, too.

"You look very beautiful, Alice!" He told me.

"Thanks. You look good, too." The truth was he looked fantastic. I wanted to grab his tie and drag him somewhere private where I could molest him. Hmm… That's an intriguing thought. In my dreams I was very successful in seducing him. Well, in my dream relationship with Jazzy we just hit second base… Someone clearing their throat roused me and I realized that we were still standing in the doorway. I looked up into the amused eyes of Jasper's grandfather.

I blushed. "Good afternoon, Mr. Jackson!" _Shit!_ I was ogling shamelessly his grandson right in front of him. God, it was awkward!

"Hello, Alice dear!" He greeted me. Just like Jasper, he was wearing a suit. Fortunately, Mom chose this moment to come and greet them so I could heave a sigh of relief. However, I noticed that Jasper was still looking at me and if I wasn't mistaken he liked what he saw. _Yay! It was the best day ever!_

Soon all the men settled down in front of the TV to watch the football match so I went back to the kitchen to help Mom. Bella joined us, too. Rose was with her own family. In the kitchen I noticed a new plate filled with a bunch of turkey shaped ginger cookies.

"What is this?" I asked Mom. We didn't do that.

"Oh, Herbert gave them to me. It seems that Jasper is rather good at baking, too." Mom said with a wink. _Oh, God!_ I was so busy checking him out that I didn't notice that he had a plate in his hand.

I took one turkey out and quickly bit its head off. It was amazingly delicious and I devoured it rapidly. I reached over to take another one, but Mom lightly slapped my hand away.

"You have to make room for my cooking, too." She said in mock reproach.

I giggled. "Sorry, but it's really good."

"I'm sure it is." It was Bella who mocked me this time. So I gave her a dirty glare.

I think that no one was surprised when I arranged the table sitting I made sure that Jasper was sitting right on my left (and Edward on my right). I didn't really care what everybody thought, I wanted to enjoy all the time I had in his company. The food itself wasn't that special, it was the traditional Thanksgiving feast. Mom made all the food and I was her little sous-chef in the kitchen. The main dish was the turkey that was stuffed with a bread-based stuffing and it was roasted. The side dishes contained yams and mashed potatoes with the indispensable cranberry sauce that I had made on my own. We also prepared deviled eggs, green beans, green bean casserole and salad, too. There was plenty of food because Emmett was at the table. The dinner was spent in a very pleasant atmosphere with light conversation around the table. After dinner I helped Mom put the dishes away and we joined everybody in the living room. Soon we formed little groups: all the adults were together discussing work and parenting stuff, Bella and Edward of course were together, they went to the music room so Edward could show Bella his newest composition that she had inspired. Emmett was on the phone with Rose and I was positive that I didn't want to hear any part of that conversation. That left me and Jasper alone. _Perfect!_ I couldn't have arranged it better. In the course of our friendship we discovered that we had a very familiar taste in music. At least, we had one thing in common. So I invited Jasper up to my room to listen to some music in private. Unfortunately for me Emmett had heard my suggestion and flashed me a lewd smirk that Jasper had seen as well. Why can't he mind his on business?

We went up to my room and settled down comfortably on my sofa. These days I didn't have to be sly and inching closer to him, he sat down right next to me.

"So is there anything specific you wanted to listen to?" I asked him. He had already seen my music collection which was admittedly very insignificant compared to Edward's.

"There's nothing in particular. Anything you have been listening to would be fine." He said softly.

So I hit play on my stereo. The last thing I was listening to was a mixed CD that Edward had made for me. Soon I heard the familiar opening cords of Paradise City by Guns N' Roses. Jasper looked at me and cocked his head to the side in amusement. I simply grinned at him and started to sing the lyrics. I was in a very good mood. The whole day had been wonderful, it exceeded all of my expectations. Jasper was constantly in my company and I wasn't ashamed of monopolizing all his attention. To my delight Jasper smiled and joined in on the singing. He had a very nice bass voice! I almost lost it when he imitated their head shaking and his hair was all messy and flown in every direction. It was such a contrast: Jasper wearing a suit with a tie while acting like a rock star. Well, he could certainly pull that look off just fine. _I had never seen him sexier!_ After the song ended we burst out laughing at our ridiculous behavior. The next song was a slow one. Jasper surprised me when he stood in front of me and offered his hand for a dance. I accepted of course.

He put his left hand on the small of my back and with his right he held my hand. Although I was wearing high heels the height difference between us was still very obvious. I only reached to his shoulders. We slowly started to move around the room. It was such a magical moment! Jasper was a good dancer, very graceful for his size. This whole situation seemed so surreal and perfect at the same time. My love for him surrounded all of my being and I was practically radiated with it. When the song ended with stopped.

We were sanding in the middle of my room and his arm was still around my waist. I looked up into his beautiful eyes. I could always loose myself in those gorgeous dark eyes. He was smiling.

"I love you." I breathed and then froze. _Shit!_ Did I really say it out loud?

* * *

><p>Okay, so that is some cliffhanger. But don't worry, the next chapter is almost done and it will be from Jasper's point of view.<p>

(PS. Sorry if I messed up something about the Thanksgiving stuff, but I only know that holiday from movies.)


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 14

JPOV

"I love you."

I stepped back and looked at Alice sharply and she seemed to be just as surprised as I was at the sudden confession. She was embarrassed that was clear, but her eyes also reflected hope. I didn't know what to do or say. I knew what she wanted to hear, but I also knew that she wasn't going to hear that. I couldn't say it back to her, not yet and I wasn't sure whether I'd ever be able to say it. I had feelings for her sure, but I didn't know whether it was love or simply like. I didn't know if I was capable of feeling love, it was a very foreign feeling to me.

"Please, don't say that." I said softly. Her eyes filled with tears and the expression on her face was so hurt that I had to look away. "You don't know me at all." I added quietly.

"I know that." She said in a hoarse voice while tears ran down her cheeks. "But I know enough to love you, and I would like to know more. If you… If you gave me a chance…" She trailed off as her crying made it impossible to continue. I was very much conflicted: on the one hand I wanted to move closer to her and comfort her, but on the other I wanted to run out of her room, the house, and her life. I had never been this confused in my entire life. I slowly turned back to face her.

"And if you don't like what you learn about me?" I asked her, my voice was bitter. Her head jerked up at my tone, I had never spoken to her like this.

She studied my face before answering. "I don't care. I love you, Jasper." She said.

"Please, stop saying that!" I pleaded. It was so hard to hear it because I knew she couldn't possible mean it.

"Why? I'll say it because it's true. Why don't you believe me?" She asked and her voice started to get stronger and stronger. I knew that look. She was determined to prove that she was right and that she really loved me.

"Because you don't know me." I told her trying to keep calm.

"And whose fault is that?" She asked. I could tell her anger was getting the better of her. Maybe if I continued in this manner she would see how foolish her feelings were. "Please, Jasper, let me know you." Maybe not.

"I don't want you to know me any more than you do now." I said.

"Why?" She pleaded with me. A new round of tears was running down her face.

I didn't know what to say, how to get out of this situation without any more damage.

"Because you shouldn't." I tried in vain to put a stop to this conversation.

"What… What's that supposed to mean?" She tried to sound brave, but her voice broke. Still I admired her courage.

"It means that if you are smart you will get over this little crush on me as quickly as possible." I said and it brought back her earlier anger.

"It's not a crush!" She said loudly. "Why don't you listen to me? I love you. You, and no one else." She was forceful now.

I sighed deeply. I wished she didn't repeat it. I tried to reason with her. "Alice, you created a picture about me in your head that has nothing to do with reality. You are in love with that idealistic image. The real me is entirely different from that."

"Then why don't you let me see the real you?" She questioned and the determined glint was back in her eyes. I was so fucked. What could I say to that? That I didn't want to corrupt her naivety and innocence. Why couldn't she understand that I only wanted to protect her?

"Because it's something you shouldn't see, something you wouldn't like." I said exasperated. Now I was the one whose anger was getting the better of. But her insistence only made me want to leave faster.

"Let me be the judge of that!" She almost shouted. "You say that I shouldn't do this and that, but you don't give me a reason as to why."

She took a deep breath. "Jasper, I don't know what is keeping you back, but…" She hesitated for a bit. "I love you. It's not something I can change or get over as you said. I love you, and that means all the bad and the good things equally." She looked at me with hope clearly shining in her tear-filled eyes. There it was, the confession again. I wanted to shout with frustration. Maybe it was time to tell her a little bit of the bad things that she insisted that she didn't care about.

"So you say that you don't care about anything bad about me?" I asked sarcastically.

"I don't." She said confidently.

I hated myself at that moment. I was about to reveal to her something that should have been kept a secret from her forever. I knew I shouldn't have listened to my grandfather, I should have kept my distance from her when I had the chance. I remember as his exact words were: _What could you loose?_ Well, apparently a lot. But for a brief period I believed that I deserved happiness with a wonderful girl like Alice. I foolishly listened to him and instead of staying away from her I encouraged her affection. I was a fucked up jerk.

"We will see that." I said as calmly as I could manage. I rolled up the sleeves on both of my arms showing the scars to Alice to see. She gasped at the sight. My arms were covered in differently shaped scars. Some were deep and large, others were small and light.

"Do you know what these are?" I asked her and my voice was mocking. The sight of these scars brought back all the memories I tried to forget. I was no longer able to control myself.

"Scars." Alice said barely audibly.

"Yes, scars. Very bad ones, too." I said. "Are you still sure that you want to know more? Know what caused them?" I thought that maybe the sight of them would cause her to retreat. That she would realize that there were things that should be left alone.

She looked determinedly in my eyes. "Yes, I want to know everything about you." I should have known that Alice wouldn't give up so easily.

"Well, you shouldn't get ahead of yourself. I'm sure everything would be too much for you." My voice sounded cold and angry. I so didn't want to do this to her, but I had to make her see that I wasn't right for her. That she didn't love me, not really. I continued my explanation in a detached voice. "I can assure you that these scars aren't a result of an accident. They were deliberately created on my arms to cause me pain, to torture me. You see, Alice, not everyone has the picture perfect family that you have. I'm sure you have already guessed that I have issues with my father." I spat out the last word in my sentence. He didn't deserve the name father. I was looking at Alice the whole time. She was sobbing quite loudly by this time, huge heaving sobs shook her tiny body.

I really didn't want to do it, but I couldn't stop, not now. "My father was an alcoholic asshole whose greatest pleasure was to see me suffer. You grew up with love surrounding you from your parents and brothers. I grew up with the pain that my mother no longer was there with me. I was left alone with a fucker who didn't give a fuck about me. The only thing that he ever gave me was some punches and kicks." I stopped at this point. I really didn't want to go any further. I hoped she wouldn't force me.

"So what do you say?" I asked her quietly. Suddenly I felt really exhausted. All the conflicting emotions that were running trough me made me extremely tired. I wanted to get out. "Have you had enough of me yet?" I knew I sounded cruel, and the huge sob that came from her proved that I was right, still I couldn't help it. Maybe now she would hate me, and the only one hurt in this situation would be me. I didn't care; I was used to the pain.

For several minutes her tears made her unable to utter any coherent word. I considered leaving at this point. It'd better for both of us if I went back to my life before Alice had waltzed in.

"I think it's time I left for good." I said with a sigh and started to walk toward the door. Suddenly Alice stood between me and the door still crying.

"You can't leave, Jasper." She sobbed. "You can't leave me."

I was really frustrated now. Her stubbornness was an enchanting quality about her, but now it made everything all the more complicated. Why couldn't she give me up? I didn't understand.

"Alice!" I tried reproachfully. "I thought I had proved that I wasn't right for you."

"You didn't prove anything!"

"Then tell me! What the fuck do you want from me?" I asked harshly. It was a very dangerous situation.

She cringed at my tone. _Good!_ Maybe now she would see. "Please! Just tell me something truthfully." She started a little unsure. At my silence she continued. "Do you… Do you have any… feelings for me? Besides… Besides friendship?" All her bravado had left her. She stood before me emotionally completely naked. She was so brave. I admired her for that.

"What would my feeling change?" I asked her quietly.

"I just need to know." Her eyes were filled with renewed tears. "Please!"

That please undid me. But my feelings only complicated thing further.

"You have to understand something about me, Alice." I started softly. "I'm not used to affection of any kind, I don't know how to handle it. It took me almost a year to become comfortable with my own grandfather. I can't deny that I have some feelings for you, but these are very unfamiliar. I'm too confused…" I trailed off.

The hope that had died out of her eyes during my earlier rant now reappeared with renewed force. While I looked into those huge hopeful eyes I thought that it would be so easy to fall in love with her. But I knew I shouldn't, I couldn't.

She spoke up very softly. "Jasper, please! All I'm asking is a chance!"

I sighed deeply, all my defenses were gone. "I can't promise you anything, Alice! You deserve someone better."

"I don't want anyone else. All I want is you, Jasper." She said it clearly without any doubt in her voice. The truth in her voice was loud and clear, still I didn't know what to do with it.

"I think you should think about the things I had just told you. It was just a little bit of my past, not everything." I tried to sidetrack her.

"It won't change anything. I would still love you." She said and I saw that she would never give up. She reinforced her determination.

"Fine, but I have to think about a lot of things." I said with finality in my voice.

"You have all the time you need." She said softly. I nodded and she moved away from the door so I could leave.

After this we didn't stay much longer at the Cullen's. When I went downstairs my grandpa immediately saw that something was up so we left shortly. During the ride home both of us was silent. I had a lot on my mind and grandpa was trying to figure out what was bothering me. He waited with the questioning until we were at home.

"What happened, son?" He asked the concern audible in his voice. "Did something happen between you and Miss Alice?"

"Yes." I sighed. "She said she loved me."

"And?" He asked with a hopeful glint in his eyes.

"I acted like a total asshole." I told him honestly. I acted horrendously with Alice and she didn't deserve that.

"Why?" He asked. If he was surprised at my behavior he didn't show it. "Don't you love her?"

Well, that was a tricky question. I knew that I liked spending time with her, talking to her and just generally be in her company. But love? I didn't know how that felt like. The only person who ever loved me was my mother and now my grandpa. I simply didn't know how love felt like, I had no experience with that emotion.

"I don't know. I'm very confused." I told him and then I added my deepest fear. "What if I'm incapable of feeling love?"

"That's just stupid, son!" Grandpa said forcefully then he muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like swearing. "Look, Jasper, I know what you had been through. I know that I had only witnessed the end of it, and I know it is very hard to deal with. But you have to let the past go! It can't determine your present or your future."

"You don't understand!" I said and my voice sounded very tired even to my ears. It had been a very long and emotionally demanding day. "I don't want my past to affect anything, but it does. I don't know how to deal with it." I couldn't do this, not right now.

"Please, can we talk about it later?" I pleaded. "After the entire Alice thing, this is too much."

"Alright, but we will talk about it more." He said and I knew he meant it.

"I'll be in my room." I said and went upstairs to my room.

I was lying on my bed. I was very tired still my mind couldn't stop working. I was thinking over what I had said to Alice and all the memories that came up with that conversation. I briefly wondered how she was doing at home. I was sure that by now everyone in that family had heard what a bastard I was. I guess I could expect a thorough beating from Emmett any day now. And I would deserve it! Little Alice shouldn't have to be heartbroken because of a fuckwit like me. She should be happily in love with someone who could give her anything she wanted. I was still dumbfounded by her confession. She was in love with me. It was so strange. I knew she had a crush, but I had no idea that her feelings ran much deeper than that. Well, it certainly explained why her eyes held so much happiness and hope whenever we were together. _Jesus, her eyes!_ Those eyes that I had tried so many times in vain to capture on paper… And the knowledge that those lovely eyes were filled with tears and pain today because of me was unbearable. I never wanted to be the cause of her pain, but I couldn't help. I didn't know whether I was ready to have a relationship or not. Her friendship was confusing enough. Was it wise to start a relationship when I couldn't promise her anything certain? Because I couldn't in all honestly promise her that I would love her back. I liked her very much, but that was the only emotion I was comfortable with for the time being. If we started going out, she would want more and she would get frustrated with the slow pace I could offer. With these thoughts I steadily drifted off to sleep, but it was a fitful night.

The next day I woke up feeling even more tired than the day before. It was still very early, but I couldn't stay in my room any more. I went to the bathroom to take a long shower, trying to relax my tense muscles. When I finished I got dressed and went down to the kitchen to drink a cup of coffee. Fortunately, I didn't have to work for the rest of the week. Boss said that as I was such a reliable employee I could go on a paid mini vacation. I wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything, anyway. My thoughts were still filled with Alice and I was haunted with the pain in her eyes. I didn't know how long I was lost in thought when a hand on my shoulder roused me.

"Are you alright, son?" My grandpa asked and if it was possible he sounded even more concerned than yesterday.

"I don't know." I said and moved to make some breakfast for him, but he stopped me.

"I will take care of that." He assured me and then busied himself with making some toast while I continued sipping my coffee.

After grandpa had finished his breakfast and took his meds he asked me to join him in the living room. I knew that this conversation was coming.

"Please, sit down!" He said indicating the sofa seat right in front of the chair he was sitting in. When I sat down he continued. "Before you say anything I'd like to have my say. First of all, I want to apologize." I looked at him surprised. He didn't have any reason to apologize. At my quizzical expression he started to explain. "When you moved here I had no idea how to relate to you. You had been through a lot which caused you to shut down from everyone. I thought it was best to let you open up on your on and I never forced you tell me anything. And when you slowly started to lower your walls and let me in I had thought that my strategy was working. I hadn't realized that you still have many unresolved issues. So I would like to apologize for not taking more assertive actions to help you to deal with your past." When he paused in his speech I felt the need to interfere.

"You don't have to apologize. Half the time even I don't know what is going on with me." I smiled weakly trying to lighten his mood.

"After last night I thought as much, and that's why I have a suggestion." He waited for my reaction.

"What kind of suggestion?" I asked suspiciously.

"Before you deny it vehemently, let me explain." He started, his earlier hesitation gone. "I think it would be best if you had professional help with your issues and…"

I interrupted him. "You want me to go to a shrink like some mental case?" I was confused, did he really think I was insane or something?

"No, you misunderstood me, son." He said calmly. "Last night when you said that you were worried about being incapable of feeling love you truly shocked me. I had never thought that you were thinking such things and it made me think. That was a problem that I knew I wasn't capable of helping. That's why I'd like you to see someone who could help. Sometimes I forget that you aren't an adult yet and you don't know how to deal with certain emotions." He finished with a sigh.

_Great!_ Another thing to think over. I had enough already on my mind as it was.

"Maybe they could help you with Alice." Grandpa tried hopefully. I only sighed and covered my face with my hands. "Can I ask what have you told her? About your past, I mean?"

"I was an asshole." I started truthfully. I felt ashamed of how I had acted. "I showed her the scars on my arms and told her who had done it, but nothing more." Grandpa was appalled at this revelation.

"That was very stupid of you!" He cried.

"Believe me, I know." I said softly.

"I think you should tell her the whole story. She deserves to know, especially that you have already told her a piece of it." Grandpa said thoughtfully. I had been thinking the same. Maybe she should know.

"Perhaps you are right, but I had never wanted her to know. What if she will be disgusted by me?" There. I said another one of my fears. Maybe this talking about things wasn't that bad an idea.

"She won't, trust me! She has no reason to, what had happened in the past was not your fault. And that girl is very much in love with you. Let her in!" He advised.

I had spent the next couple of days thinking over everything: Alice, my past and grandpa's suggestion and advice. On Sunday morning I decided to call Alice. If she was willing to talk to me again, I would tell her the rest of my story. She answered it on the first ring. _Did she walk around with her cell in her hand?_

"Hello, Alice. It's Jasper." I started lamely.

"Hi, Jasper. How are you?" She asked softly. I was a little relieved as I could detect a little happiness in her voice. Maybe grandpa was right.

"Well, a bit better." I started and then took a deep breath and said. "Listen, I need to talk to you. Do you have a little time today?" I asked.

"When?" It was all her reply.

"How about two o'clock? Do you know the park near the school?" I asked. We needed a neutral ground for that conversation and the weather was bearable to be out in the open.

"Yes, we usually drive by it on our way to school." She said thoughtfully.

"Then can we meet there at two?" I asked.

"Of course. See you then." She answered and then we hung up.

Two o'clock was approaching faster than I had thought. I had been in the park for half an hour just waiting and thinking. It was a very important event, it would change everything. At exactly 2 p.m. I saw the yellow Porsche turning into the parking lot. Alice quickly hopped out of it and started scanning the park anxiously. When she spotted me sitting on a bench she smiled weakly and started walking toward me. She was fucking beautiful! But she was very sad and very nervous. I hated the fact that I had caused her to be in such a state.

I stood up and greeted her. "Thanks for coming, Alice!"

"Of course. You said you wanted to talk to me." She started. I thought she wasn't the type to beat around the bush. This caused me to smile.

"Yes, but before that, I would like to apologize for my behavior on Thanksgiving. I was an asshole!" I sighed still ashamed of that day.

"No, it was my fault." She said softly. Well, we wouldn't make progress if we started the game of who was to blame more.

"Anyway, I'm sorry. Why don't you sit down? What I have to tell you is a long story." I indicated the bench with my hand.

She sat down quietly, waiting for me to start.

"You deserve to know what made me react the way I did, but please don't interrupt me." I said and looked at her for affirmation. She nodded so I started my tale.

"You have already known that my mother had died when I was 7. Her death was unexpected and my father couldn't cope with it. My relationship with him had never been a good one, but mother had always been there for me so after her death everything went downhill. My father started to drink, he started with just a couple of beers, but soon he started consuming heavier drinks. Unfortunately, alcohol made him aggressive and I was the only one to channel his anger. Soon he started blaming me for my mother's death and everything that was bad in his life. You have to understand that I had been only a kid and I had believed everything he had said. So I thought that I deserved the beatings I got. He started that slowly, too. Only a couple of slaps and punches, but with time the beatings became more frequent and more aggressive." I paused for a minute when I saw that Alice was crying, but I needed to continue on. "The scars on my arms are from cigarettes, bottles and some from his teeth. Not surprisingly he soon lost his job due to his alcoholism and he started to sell everything from my mother's paintings to our house. We had lived in one of the worst neighborhoods in town and my father did odd jobs and spent most of the money on alcohol. I had never told anybody what was going on at home and fortunately no one suspected it. Unexpectedly, when I was 16 my grandfather showed up, but by that time I was numb for everything around me, I got used to the harsh reality. At first I didn't know him, the last time I saw my grandfather was at my mother's funeral and with time I forgot all about him. So naturally I was very hostile to him first and continued my life in denial. But grandpa never gave up, he kept showing up and telling me that there was a way out. Soon my father realized that I was meeting my grandpa, and he didn't like it. And one night I got my worst beating ever. I don't really know what had happened as I woke up in the hospital with my grandpa sitting next to my bed. He told me that he had found me beaten half to death in the kitchen and I immediately was rushed to the hospital. They had to do a surgery to stop internal bleeding and I was in a coma for two weeks after that. In the meantime, the police was notified and they were searching for my father. I don't want to bore you with the details after that." I stopped after my rather long explanation. Alice and I sat in silence, her occasional sobs breaking the tranquil atmosphere. I sat there wondering whether it had been a good idea to tell her everything.

After a very long pause when she had composed herself somewhat she had asked me. "What had happened to your father?" Her voice was hoarse.

"Are you sure you want to know? I mean this whole thing was hard enough." But when I looked at her she simply nodded. "The police found him. Grandpa and the police had finally convinced me to testify against him so now he is in a Texan jail."

Now she knew everything. It was her choice. If she wanted me after all this then I was willing to try. But at her continual silence I was convinced that it was too much for her. Her supposed love was not enough to deal with my past, and I understood that. I knew it was going to happen.

"And now you know everything." I broke the silence. Again I had the urge to run away. "Now it was me who gave you a lot to think about. You can take your time, too. And don't worry if you came to the conclusion that it is too much. I'd understand."

At this Alice looked at me sharply, her expression horrified. "Do you really think that that had changed anything?" She shouted. Well, her reaction was quite shocking to say the least. She continued more calmly. "Jasper, I love you. Nothing can change that." She took a deep breath. "I'm very sorry about everything that happened to you. But I'm also glad that you told me, now we can move forward."

"Forward to what?" "I asked her. "I don't know if I'm ready to be in a relationship."

She was thoughtful for a while. "Maybe we could start out slow and…." I interrupted her.

"You don't understand, Alice! If we start going out your feeling could deepen, but I can't say anything about mine." I was frustrated with myself. "Maybe grandpa was right and I should see a shrink about my issues." I mused out loud.

Alice looked at me sharply. "Your grandpa wants you to see a doctor?"

"Well, he has a point." I simply stated.

"So where this leaves us?" She asked and sounded very defeated.

"I don't know. This whole depends on you." I said.

"Me? How?" She sounded incredulous.

"You want to be in a relationship with me, right?" I asked and she eagerly nodded. "I can promise you to try, but at this point I can't promise you anything more. Really, I can't offer you anything just honesty from now on. So it depends on whether you want to start a relationship that is so uncertain or not." I offered, but I was still very unsure as what was the best to do. "You don't have to make that decision now." I added as an afterthought.

"My decision had been made a long time ago. I have been in love with you for quite some time now, and I'm perfectly okay with anything you are comfortable to offer." She said softly. This made me think. For how long had she been really in love with me? But that was a topic for an entirely different conversation. I surely wasn't ready to deal with that.

"Then I think we should spend a little more time together alone to know each other more. Continue to be just friends for now at least." There I said it. That was the most I could offer.

"For now." She echoed with a smile. Her face was still tear-stained so I handed her a handkerchief to wipe her face.

"There. I wouldn't want you to go home in tears again. I'm sure your family hate me enough already." I said trying to lighten the mood.

"They don't know anything." She said and at my incredulous look she continued. "Obviously they know that something had happened, but I never told them anything specific. It is too private."

I was in awe of her. I had already known that I could trust her, but this was much more than that. Alice was really a fantastic girl. I hoped for her sake I could deal with my issues. And I was determined to try to be the man she wanted me to be.

* * *

><p>Well, that was Jasper:) Let me know what you think.<p> 


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 15

JPOV

After Alice had left I stayed at the park a little longer. I simply sat at that bench and though about the conversation we had. We didn't really make any definite decision, but it still felt like we took a huge step ahead. Now Alice knew the worst things about me and she seemed to be okay with that. I hoped it would last. I still wasn't a hundred percent sure that I did the right thing in telling her. Suddenly I started shaking as a string of memories assaulted my mind. Image after image popped up in my brain about my father, about my life before. I buried my face in my hands, I had thought that I forgot those memories a long time ago, but now they came back with renewed force. I continued to sit there reliving the hell of my past. _Fuck!_ After a while I became conscious of the fact that it had started to rain so I deemed it time to get home. I tried to compose myself on my way home because I didn't want my grandpa to worry too much.

Grandpa was watching some TV show as was his habit when I arrived. However, this time he quickly switched the TV off and concentrated on me. No doubt trying to figure out how my conversation with Alice had turned out. I guess the suspense was killing him as no longer had I sat down he turned to me and asked.

"So? What happened? How did it go?" He asked very eagerly.

I took a deep breath. "Well, I told her everything and she took everything relatively well. She still insisted that she loved me."

"And you still doubt her." He said and it wasn't a question. He cocked his head to the side to examine me. "Why?"

"I just don't understand her. She could have anybody she wants so why would she want me. I'm too damaged." I said thoughtfully. After all that happened I was still very confused. I guess I needed time for everything to fall into place.

"Love isn't rational, son. Just be happy that she wants you." Grandpa said with a smile.

"Yeah, I don't think there was anything that could stand in the way of what Alice wanted." I chuckled. That girl was something.

"So now you are a couple?" Grandpa asked eagerly.

"No." I said immediately sobering up. "That would be too soon, but I agreed to try. That was all I could offer."

"Alright. You know what the best is for you." Grandpa tried to sound neutral, but I knew he was a little disappointed. He hardly knew Alice, but still he was very fond of her. And I guess he wanted to see me happy as well.

On Monday morning I arrived to school in plenty of time to spare. I didn't sleep much the previous night and as I was up I thought that I might as well start my day early. I decided that as a sign of our new agreement I was going to wait for Alice in the parking lot. So I walked to the spot where Edward usually parked his car. They always picked Bella up as well and maybe it was a good thing that her old truck was off the roads. Soon I saw the silver Volvo turn around the corner and it was heading in my direction. For a moment I was uneasy as I had no idea what her brothers knew, but their expressions were quite calm and neutral. Maybe Alice had really kept everything to herself. Alice got out of the car and when she saw me waiting for her a huge smile appeared on her face. As she started to walk toward me I noticed a couple of bounce in her step. She was practically dancing toward me. I shook my head at her antics, but I was very relieved that I didn't hurt her too much.

"Good morning, Jasper!" She greeted me with her usual dreamy little smile. But now I knew what that meant. She looked fucking beautiful standing in front of me with a happy expression on her face. That was the way that she should always look: happy and beautiful.

"Hello, Alice! How are you?" I asked her with a smile.

"Well, I had to sit next to a whining Emmett all the way so you can guess." She answered while cocking her head toward Emmett. I was happy that our little chat yesterday didn't ruin everything between us. This was familiar and comfortable.

"And why is he whining?" I asked curiously as we started to walk to history class.

"He and Rose had a fight and she wouldn't let him go over to her place today." She explained. Those two had a very um… intense relationship. Edward and Bella were much nicer to be around.

"Why? What did he do?" I asked just to keep her talking. Her light mood was comforting.

"Oh, believe me! You don't want to know the specifics." She said in a knowing voice.

I glanced back to the parking lot to see Emmett running after a pissed-looking Rose. This caused me to chuckle. The sight of a guy of Emmett's size acting like an eager puppy was very amusing.

"I believe you." I said and soon we arrived to class.

When the period ended I waited for Alice to pack up her stuff.

"So what is your next class?" I asked her. I figured I could walk her to her next class, that is, if she wanted me to. I promised to try and this was a step in that direction. Admittedly a baby step, but a step nonetheless.

"I have English." She said and asked curiously. "Why?"

"Well, if you don't mind I would like to walk you there." I said softly. There it was again, that beautiful smile. And she nodded eagerly. So we walked together toward her class earning curious glances from the other students around. _Why do they have to stare?_ It wasn't that interesting. I said goodbye to her at the door and went on my way. I wasn't planning on walking her to every class just that one so the next time I saw her it was during lunch. As usual I arrived a bit late to lunch and I was surprised that Emmett and Rose were missing. Usually it was me who arrived last.

I quickly sat down in my spot next to Alice and asked her. "Where are Rose and Emmett?" Before Alice could answer Edward informed me.

"If I had to guess I would say the brooms closet or another such place." He said with a strange expression.

"Oh, I see so they made up." I said in amusement.

"More like making out." Alice said with a giggle and then her expression became dreamy. She must daydream a lot as I noticed that particular expression on her face numerous times.

"So Jasper…" Alice started when she came back from her imaginings. "What class do you have before lunch? You are always the last one to arrive." She said and a little reproach seeped into her voice.

"Well, I have a free period instead of Spanish." I said and at their incredulous looks I added. "I got a pass on Spanish as I'm quite fluent in it."

"How?" Alice asked in awe. This caused me to feel a little embarrassed. Maybe it sounded a bit too smug.

"I grew up in Texas plus I had a friend who was of Mexican origin and she had taught me." I explained, but noticed that Alice tensed at the mention of a female friend. Well, that was interesting. I studied her face for a while. Could she be jealous of an unknown person? It certainly seemed so. It was sure as hell that I wouldn't discuss Maria with Alice, besides she had no reason to be jealous of her. Nonetheless, she quickly retained her composure and continued the conversation in her usual blabbing manner.

"We have Spanish, too so we would have another class together. You are so lucky. I really suck at that language." She chattered on and suddenly her eyes lit up. "Maybe you could help me with it."

"Sure." I agreed readily. _Why the hell not?_

After this we continued to discuss other topics and toward the end of the lunch period the missing couple made an appearance as well. They weren't fooling anybody as to where they had been: they looked flustered and their clothes were in disarray. That and the fact that Emmett had a shit eating grin on his face.

At the end of school I said goodbye to Alice and the others and went to work. Work was crazy that day. It was like the whole town decided to eat at the Diner that afternoon and I didn't have a minute to rest. Bella's father was there with his colleagues engaging in a little fast food experience despite Bella's best efforts to keep him healthy. I liked the chief, he was so like his daughter, quiet and nice. And he always gave nice tips. After work was finally done I was about to go and change when the boss asked me to his office.

"So Jasper I know we have a deal about Wednesdays, but this week on that day there will be a private birthday party. I thought I'd tell you as you always do those kind of events." He informed me. I thought quickly. I did those things because they were perfect opportunity to earn more money. And now I was saving some for a laptop, anyway. The days of my ancient computer were up, it wouldn't last much longer.

"Yes, I'm interested this time, too." I told him figuring I have to postpone my meeting with Alice.

"Okay, I'll sign you up." He said then added. "And you can leave earlier on Thursday. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, thanks." I said and left. As I was thinking this over I hoped that it wouldn't be Lauren's birthday party. Last year she celebrated her birthday in the Diner and she had spent the whole afternoon trying to grab my ass or have a little private time with me. I shuddered at this thought. _That girl was fucking crazy!_ I wished she found someone else to bother and leave me the fuck alone.

I arrived home late and very tired, but I still had to cook something for dinner. I didn't have time to eat all afternoon and that day I only had a sandwich at lunch. My talk with the boss made me forget to grab a couple of burgers for us. I didn't tend to bring home that kind of food as it wasn't very good for grandpa's cholesterol. And tempting him with that was just stupid.

"Hello, son. You are late and it worried me." Grandpa greeted me from his usual spot in front of the TV.

"Yeah, the boss held me up for a bit. Sorry." I told him as I put my stuff down.

"Is there a problem?" He asked in concern. I guess in the last couple of days he had a lot of things to worry about.

"Nothing's wrong, don't worry." I reassured him. "He just let me know that I have a chance to earn a little extra on Wednesday."

"But isn't that your study date with Alice?" He asked with a smile. He liked to call those occasions as dates.

"Well, I will have to postpone it." I said and returned his smile. "But now I should go and cook something." I started to walk toward the kitchen, but grandpa stopped me.

"Oh, you don't have to. I have already made a little pasta with tomato sauce." He said and added. "I figured you would be tired and I was right, you do look very tired." He said and the concern was back in his voice. I was very grateful for the food, but I was a little worried, too. I wasn't in the mood to repeat the salt incident again.

"Thanks." I said sounding unsure which caused him to chuckle. He went back to focus on the TV and I continued my way to the kitchen. Well, it was true that he cooked, but he saved the dishes for me to wash. I shook my head, he hated doing the dishes. This time the food was the other extreme, like he forgot to use spices. But as I was very hungry I wouldn't have cared if it had been half raw, I wolfed down the whole thing.

Fortunately, at the night the pattern of the previous days continued. My mind seemed unable to shut down and it only allowed me a couple of hours of sleep. So the next morning I was more exhausted than before. I needed a little more coffee to get me going that morning. I noticed that grandpa was watching me like he was studying me or something.

I decided to break my news to Alice early. I figured the sooner the better. So when I arrived to school I walked up to them.

"Good morning!" I greeted everyone as they all were gathered around Edward's car.

"Hello, Jasper!" Alice greeted me. And we started to walk toward the first class. I guess it would become our new routine.

"Alice!" I started tentatively. I was sure she wouldn't be happy with my news. "I can't go over on Wednesday."

She immediately stopped and she looked frightened. "Why?" She asked in a small voice. I guess she thought I was going to cancel it because of our talk.

"There will be a private birthday party at the Diner on Wednesday and I'm needed there." I told her and her expression instantly brightened. "So I though I could go over on Thursday instead if that's okay." I offered with a smile.

She looked thoughtful and then a mischievous look appeared in her eyes. "Under one condition." She said with a grin. She looked so beguiling at that moment that I thought that I would agree to anything. _Shit! That look was dangerous._ I chuckled and shook my head.

"Which is?" I prompted with a raised eyebrow.

"You have to have dinner with us on Thursday." She replied still smiling. I had to laugh at her triumphant expression.

"Alright." I agreed.

I didn't have any time to rest for the next couple of days and I was still sleep deprived. It seemed that the whole opening up business inadvertently opened up the floodgate of my repressed memories. When I could catch a few hours of sleep I always had nightmares of the past. As a result of my busy working schedule and the lack of sleep at night it occurred more often that I dozed off during lunch period. In Emmett's eyes it was hilarious, but Alice seemed concerned. As was my grandpa. Finally, I decided that it couldn't go on any longer. So on Wednesday night I decided to talk to grandpa.

"I had been thinking about your suggestion of going to a shrink." I started. I wasn't very fond of the idea, but it seemed that I really needed help. He looked surprised, but then a relieved smiled broke across his face.

"And what is your decision?" He asked.

"Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt." I said smiling. "But I don't know when I would have time to look for a doc…" I contemplated.

"Leave it with me! I will find the perfect psychologist for you." Grandpa assured me and he seemed excited at this development. It was either because he always looked forward to doing new things to break his usual routine or because he just wanted to help me. Of course it was possible that it was because of both of these. I trusted him so I left it with him.

On Thursday Alice and I quickly finished our homework. Our project was almost finished so we talked about other stuff as well. As we were sitting on her sofa I was minutely distracted by her bare legs. For some reason Alice preferred to wear shorts at home which not only accentuated her spectacular ass but showed off her shapely legs, too. _Fuck!_ I shouldn't go down that road. Fortunately, Alice chose that moment to voice her concern. _Thank God for the interruption!_

"Can I ask you something?" She asked a little unsure. Her unease made my swaying thoughts return back to the present. I couldn't imagine what made her unsure as she had already known the worst things about me. What else was there?

"Of course. I promised you honest." I said.

"Well, it's just that you look really tired these days…" She trailed off.

I sighed. "Yeah, work was crazy this week. But I hadn't been sleeping well recently." I told her, but decided not to mention the reason for it. But Alice was smart.

"Is it because of your past?" She asked tentatively.

"Yes, our talk the other day brought back rather unpleasant memories." I said quietly. I saw as Alice's beautiful eyes filled with tears.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled.

"It's not your fault." I tried to reassure her. It really wasn't her fault that I couldn't deal with my shitty past.

"But I made you tell me and now you have to remember all those bad things…" Her voice broke and she started to cry. I really hated that she cried so much because of me. I wasn't the best influence in her life right now. I knew this was going to happen. I had ruined her naturally happy disposition, and now she was unsure around me and cried a lot. I should have kept my mouth shut! _I was a fucking bastard!_ However, one look at her lovely eyes, which were unfortunately red because of her tears, made me forget my previous negative thoughts.

I impulsively reached for her and gathered her in my arms in a gentle hug. "Sh." I tried to comfort her. "You didn't make me do anything, Alice. I had thought that you deserved to know after my horrendous behavior. I just didn't expect that it would cause such a ruckus in my life." As I rocked her back and forth I noticed that she clung to me like her life depended on it. It wasn't the first time that I held her, but this time it was different. I was the one who initiated it and I was surprised to note that it felt really nice, too. I felt contented and calm. Soon Alice's tears dried up and I moved back to look at her.

"Better?" I asked her with a gentle smile.

"Much better." She answered with a bright smile.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Edward poked his head in.

"Hey, guys! How are things going?" He asked casually. I hoped he hadn't noticed Alice's crying. I wouldn't want to explain why I had made her cry again. If this continued on one of these days her brothers would beat the crap out of me. Admittedly I was more worried about Emmett…

"Everything is alright." Alice answered and her voice sounded normal.

"Well, Mom said that dinner is ready so you could come downstairs." He said.

"Okay, we will be there." Alice answered and Edward left.

"You should go down. I need to check myself in the bathroom." Alice said and a faint blush appeared on her cheeks.

"Certainly." I said and joined her family in the dining room.

After dinner Mrs. Cullen drew me aside and we went to the kitchen.

"Here." She gave me a package. "I figured I could send a little dinner to your grandfather, too." She explained at my quizzical expression.

"Thank you, Mrs. Cullen. It is very kind of you." I noticed she shook her head at my formal address. I couldn't help it. I wasn't familiar enough with her to be on first name basis. But I was touched by her kindness.

Alice walked me to my bike and I remembered that I wanted to ask her something, but she distracted me. It was something that grandpa had suggested. He was so eager to know Alice and it was no secret that he wanted us to be a couple that he suggested that I should invite her over for dinner. Of course, at first I objected, but as usual grandpa just knew the right thing to say to convince me otherwise. _That silly matchmaking old man_, I though fondly.

"Alice." I started and this time I was the unsure one. "I wanted to ask you whether you wanted to have dinner with me and my grandpa on Saturday. I know it's not the most exciting thing to do on a Saturday, but…" She interrupted my rant. I was embarrassed because it sounded so lame out loud.

"I would love to." Alice said with a beaming smile.

"Okay, then we talk about it tomorrow." I said relieved. "Good bye!" I said as I put on my helmet and hopped on my bike.

"Good bye! Be safe!" She said and she waved at me as I sped off.

Saturday afternoon came way more quickly than I had anticipated. I had never been this exhausted in my entire life. These days I was living on coffee and little cat naps which wasn't the healthiest schedule. At my grandpa's insistence I didn't work this morning which also gave me an opportunity to cook dinner. I decided to make a Texan special and make chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes and vegetables. As I was chopping the vegetables I remembered my conversation with Alice.

"_So what time should I be there?" Alice asked me._

"_Well, I thought it'd be better if I go and pick you up. Your car in my neighborhood would be too um… __ostentatious__." And I was putting it lightly._

"_Okay. Are you going to pick me in your bike?" She asked eagerly. I hated to dampen her mood. But if I go in my bike she would cling to me too closely for too long and I wasn't ready for that. Sure I didn't mind her closeness or touch, but in that scenario it would last too long. As I didn't want to hurt her feeling I settled on a diplomatic answer._

"_Well, no. I figured you would be more comfortable in a car so I will pick you up in grandpa's truck. I hope it's okay." It was weird imagining Alice in that car. And internally I cringed at the image. That was not what she was used to. I couldn't even give her a proper ride. Why should she settle for so much less? _

"_Of course." She agreed matter-of-factly. "So what time?"_

"_What about half past four?" I asked._

"_I'd be ready in time. I promise." She said with a mischievous smile. I had a feeling that was a little white lie and I cocked an eyebrow at her. _

_She changed the topic. "Who is going to cook you or your grandfather?" She asked and a dreamy glint appeared in her eyes._

"_Me. I wouldn't put you through the torture of his cooking." I said amused at my grandpa's culinary skills._

"_Is he really that bad?" She asked with a laugh._

"_I think that the real problem is that his glasses are bad, but he didn't even want to hear about replacing them." Suddenly I remembered what I wanted to ask._

"_Are you a vegetarian?" I asked her and she seemed surprised by that question. Well, it was out of the blue, but my tired mind didn't function that properly. My conversational skills were at a minimum, I could barely follow my own logic._

"_No. Why do you ask?" She was puzzled._

"_Well, in the Diner you always order garden burger. So I thought that you maybe don't eat meat." I explained. _

_She blushed, but I had no idea why. Maybe she had spent too much time with Bella. "I just don't like regular burger." She said and I nodded in understanding._

Soon I finished cooking the meal and it was time to go for Alice. I still had doubts about this invitation, but both Alice and grandpa were very excited about it. Maybe it would be fun after all. I arrived to the Cullen mansion at exactly half past four. When I rang the doorbell I was surprised that Edward answered it.

"Come in! Alice in true fashion isn't ready yet." He said with a chuckle. I smiled, too. I suspected that this would happen. Edward led me to the living room where Bella was talking to Dr. and Mrs. Cullen. I greeted everyone and sat down next to Bella when Edward went upstairs to inform Alice about my arrival. After a while I was distracted from the conversation at hand by a movement at the stairs. _Shit!_ Alice looked fucking incredible! I may have stared a little… But I quickly got a grip.

When Alice stood before me I pointed looked at my watch which caused her to giggle.

"What? Perfection takes time." She said with a cheeky grin.

"I suppose it does." I nodded. "You look beautiful."

"Thanks." She said and seemed pleased with my compliment.

"I'm sure grandpa would appreciate it." I teased. In retaliation she lightly slapped my arm. I noticed the exact moment when she realized what she had done and quickly checked if I was okay. So now I gave her a lop-sided grin to let her know that it was quite okay. It was natural for her to react like that and I wanted her to act natural around me. I didn't want her to change because of me.

* * *

><p>Thanks for all the reviews, I really like reading them.<p> 


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 16

I was so excited getting ready for my date with Jazz. Okay, I knew it wasn't a date, but still it was a huge step in that direction. I didn't know whether it was his idea or his grandfather's, but I didn't really give a damn. The important thing was that I was going to see where and how he lived. He always seemed shy about that. I could barely contain my eagerness. Ever since he told me everything about his past I was an emotional wreck. I couldn't imagine what he had gone through with a father like that and a life like that, but it really helped me a little in understanding Jasper's behavior and his motivations. I understood how hard it must have been to tell me and I was very grateful for it. I could have killed his father for doing that to Jasper though. How can someone be so cruel? Especially to somebody as nice as Jazz. However, his story didn't affect my feelings for him if anything it made me love him more. I wish I would be able to help him in any way that he wanted.

It was true that I didn't tell anybody about what he had said. I talked to Mom and Edward about some things of course because they knew that I was hurting, but I only told them that Jasper needed time and we still were friends. Again Mom gave me a great advice and I was determined that I was going to stick to it no matter what. She had said that I should let Jasper set the pace in our relationship and give him space when he needed it. And also to be there for him and support him, I should never let him feel pressured.

I needed to find the perfect clothes for the day. It had to be sexy for Jasper's sake, but in a moderate way for his grandfather's sake. I didn't want to do anything to alienate his grandfather. I wanted him to like me.

I checked my closet for appropriate clothes. Obviously because of the weather a dress was out of the question and that seriously limited my choices. I settled on a pair of black skinny jeans with a blue and green long-sleeved shirt that had a deep V-neck. I spiced it up with a pair of emerald colored oval teardrop earrings that was a gift from Edward for my birthday last year. For my makeup I used black eyeliner and mascara, and just a touch of blush to give my skin a healthy glow. I was almost ready when there was a knock on my door.

"Come in!" I called out from my bathroom.

"Hey, Alice! Are you nearly ready?" Edward asked. "Your boyfriend is here." He said in a teasing tone. This caused me to run into my room. My brothers started to call Jazz my boyfriend some time ago. They could be so mature at times…

"He is here?" I asked incredulously. "What time is it?"

"It is exactly 16:32." He said glancing at his watch.

"Shit! I wanted to be ready in time." I said and run to my closet to frantically look for a pair of shoes.

"Relax, Alice!" Edward chuckled. "You seem ready to me." He mused, but when I gave me a glare he deemed it time to return to Bella. She spent the Saturday with us. Bella spent so much time in our house that slowly we became truly best friends. We told everything to each other about everything and obviously our favorite topic was Edward. I might have said some stories about him that he would have preferred to be left unsaid. I was close with Rose, too, but she always was with Emmett and they made plans on their own.

I put on my high heeled boots that reached to my knees. It was a perfect fit for my clothes as they had little blue and green patterns on them. I was very grateful for my collection of high heeled shoes as they gave me the needed extra inches to be able to look in Jasper's eyes more comfortably. He was still far taller than me, but I didn't have to crane my neck at least. Just the perfect height to kiss him… I chastised myself, I didn't have time to dwell on thoughts like that. I checked myself out in my full length mirror. I nodded as I looked good. It was pretty in a sophisticated way. As I didn't want Jasper to wait too much I hurried down the stairs. When I got down I noticed that Jasper was looking at me with wide eyes. I did an internal happy dance as he seemed unable to tear his eyes from me. Fortunately, he composed himself quickly and pointedly looked at his watch. We had a little friendly banter after that. I was horrified at myself when I hit his hand, but his beautiful grin helped me relaxed. All of my nerves about my rash action and about the whole dinner thing disappeared by that smile. We quickly said goodbye to everyone and went to the car. It was the same car I saw them with at the grocery store. Admittedly I had been a little disappointed that we weren't riding on his bike, but I suppose we had plenty of time for that in the future. I sensed that Jasper was a little embarrassed by the car, but I didn't care. I always wanted to ride in an older car. And what really mattered was the company anyway.

The ride was mostly silent as Jasper seemed to be preoccupied with something or simply he was just concentrated on the wet road. I engaged in one of my favorite pastime and I was stealing glances at him. I was very concerned about him. He truly looked exhausted and he had huge circles under his eyes. I felt guilty about that even though he assured me that it had nothing to do with me. I sincerely hoped it was just a rough phase and it would pass soon. I became aware that we were driving for a while and still didn't arrive. I had no idea that Jasper lived so far from us. But eventually he parked the car in front of a two-storey house that looked very similar to Bella's. Although the neighborhood was very different. We got out and Jasper led me to the door.

Upon entrance we were in the living room where Jasper's grandfather was watching TV from a chair that was placed right in front of the TV.

"Hey, grandpa!" Jasper called out. "We are here!"

Then he turned to me to take away my coat. "You go ahead and sit with him!" He whispered into my ear. His husky tone caused me to shiver, but fortunately he didn't notice. I decided to take his advice before I molested him in the doorway.

"Hello, Miss Alice!" His grandfather greeted me with a kind smile. He stood up from his chair. "Would you like to join me?" He asked indicated the sofa.

"Sure." I said and sat down. "What are you watching?"

"Oh, just some interviews after the game." He said, but he seemed more interested in talking to me than in the TV. I was quite happy about this, it was promising. Soon Jasper joined us and he sat down next to me.

"So what are the scores?" He asked his grandfather with a mischievous glint in his eyes. What the hell was that about? They must have watched the match together.

His grandfather frowned. "You won." He admitted reluctantly.

"Excellent!" Jazz said with a huge grin. He turned to me to explain. "Grandpa and I had a bet about the game and I won."

"And what did you win?" I asked curiously. I wondered if betting was one of their habits.

"After dinner he had to do the dishes." He laughed heartily at the pouting expression on his grandfather's face.

"You know, Miss Alice I have a deep rooted aversion to doing the dishes." Mr. Jackson told me then turned to his grandson. "You should give Alice a tour of the house instead of laughing at an old man."

"Such dramatics, grandpa!" Jasper said with a smile, but he stood up and turned to me. "Would you like a tour?" He asked sweetly.

"Of course." I smiled.

"Well," he said gesturing around the room. "this is the living room. Come, I show you the kitchen." He started to walk to where I presumed the kitchen was. As we neared it a fantastic smell hit my nose. I had no idea what he had cooked, but it sure had a delicious smell.

"What did you cook?" I asked as I inhaled deeply. "It smells good."

"It's called a chicken fried steak." At my puzzled expression he added. "It's a Texan special." I nodded and looked around the kitchen. Just like the living room it was neat despite the fact that two men lived here. The kitchen was medium sized with a rounded table in the middle. It was very nice and friendly.

"So this is the kitchen and the dining room as well." Jasper said and then pointed to a door to the left. "And there is the laundry room." He didn't give me much time to look around, he quickly continued.

"Come! I show you the rest!" He said and we left the kitchen. We climbed the stairs and I was surprised to note that there were only three doors on the floor. He pointed to each door naming them.

"That's on the far end is the bathroom. In the middle is my grandpa's bedroom, and this is my bedroom." He gestured to the door closest to us. He hesitated for a minute before asking. "Um… Would you like to see it?"

"Yes, please." I said softly. As he moved to open the door he brushed up against me and the closeness was a fantastic feeling. I briefly closed my eyes in sensory pleasure. I was hit with the best smell in the entire world: a mixture of pure Jasper and his aftershave. I had no idea what brand he used, but sure as hell it was my favorite.

"Here it is." He said and stepped aside allowing me to enter.

It wasn't a big room and I was surprised to note that it wasn't that neat as the downstairs area. It wasn't messy either. If I had to explain it I would say it was in the middle between Edward's pain in the ass neatness and Emmett's total chaos. _How that boy found anything in that room was beyond me!_ However, Jasper's room was organized with a couple of books and sketches here and there. He didn't have a closet like I did; he only had a chest of drawers to keep his clothes in. I desperately wanted run my hands through his clothes, but I knew that that was way too perverted. But this room was my personal heaven where everything was a piece of Jazzy and his amazing scent was concentrated here. He had a huge shelf filled with books and I moved toward it to check out.

"Wow. You really have a lot of books." I commented. He had a wide variety of books from novels to biographies and handbooks. And of course, a whole shelf was covered with books on the Civil War. I had to smile at this.

"What's with the secretive smile?" Jasper asked from behind me. I was so preoccupied with the books that I didn't notice that he moved. _But now I was very aware of him!_ Aware that if I leant back I would be touching him. I gulped nervously.

I pointed to the Civil War books and saw that my hand was shaking a bit. "I'm just impressed with your collection." I said and was surprised that my voice sounded normal.

"You know it's my weakness." He said softly. I turned around to face him and we were only inches apart. We just stood there looking at each other. Jasper had a gentle smile on his face. And of course he was the one to break the moment.

"And what about the rest of my room?" He stepped back. I wasn't too disappointed. I remembered to let him lead.

I checked out his CD collection, his desk and the view from his window. I noticed a sketchbook on his bed. I sat down and gestured toward it.

"May I?" I asked.

"Sure, go ahead." He said and sat down next to me.

I leafed through the sketchbook that contained drawings of his grandfather, different trees, animals and some landscapes. They were all very beautiful. And I decided to tell him this.

"They are very beautiful." I whispered.

"Thanks." He said just as softly. "Why are you whispering?"

I giggled. "I don't know." I whispered back which made him laugh. I noticed a very nice abstract piece above his bed. I had a suspicion about that one.

"Is that one of your mother's pictures?" I asked pointing at it.

He turned to look at it. "Yes. When I moved here grandpa gave it to me. He knew how much those pictures meant to me and he possessed some of her works fortunately." He said softly. He turned back to me. "I think we should go downstairs to join grandpa. Are you hungry?" He asked as an afterthought and in that exact moment my stomach rumbled.

"I guess I have my answer." He smiled and quickly stood up. I followed his example and we went downstairs. I was quite mortified. It was the second time that my stomach rumbled in front of him. And it was loud, too.

"Why don't you sit with grandpa while I set the table?" He suggested.

"Do you want me to help?" I asked. In truth I really craved his company.

He chuckled. "No. Go ahead and keep grandpa company. He won't bite!"

I narrowed my eyes at his teasing, but he just grinned and sauntered his sexy ass to the kitchen. I shook my head and went to sit down next to Mr. Jackson. I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to befriend him. I so wanted him to like me.

"Well, Miss Alice, how did you like the tour?" He asked smiling.

"Oh, it was very nice. You have a very pleasant home." I said truthfully. The whole house was like Jasper, nice and inviting.

"Thank, though most of that is Jasper's credit. He likes to keep me organized." He said.

"Yes, he is very nice." I said in my usual dreamy voice which I only used in relation to Jazzy. Suddenly I realized that I used that tone in front of his grandfather. _Oh, God!_ What would he think of me now?

"That he is." He confirmed with a wink in my direction. _Shit!_ I blushed. He leaned a little closer to me and said in a hushed tone. "I'm very glad you are his friend. I'm always worrying about him, but since you became friends I noticed a slight change in him. All thanks to your influence." He finished and patted my hand.

"Oh, I didn't know I had any effect on him." I said surprised at his revelation.

"Jasper is very private about his emotions, but I know him well enough to notice things." He said kindly. "I hope you can be there for him."

I was touched by his words. "I will be." I whispered.

Jasper chose that moment to interrupt us and announce that we could go have dinner. I hoped he hadn't heard our conversation. Mr. Jackson stood up slowly and I followed him to the kitchen. We sat down to eat and engaged in a pleasant conversation over a very pleasant meal. Mr. Jackson entertained me with stories about Jasper and I really enjoyed the ones about Jasper's childhood before all the hell broke loose. I could easily picture a little kid with unmanageable blond hair and a couple of teeth missing as a result of learning how to ride the bike. I could tell Jasper was a bit embarrassed, but that was what family did: embarrass the crap out of you. Unfortunately Jasper put a stop to the whole embarrassing business when Mr. Jackson wanted to show me pictures of him. Maybe next time… And not surprisingly Jasper was a very good cook. Maybe I was a bit biased, but that food was delicious.

By the time we finished it was late and I had to go home. I said goodbye to Mr. Jackson who in turn hugged me and whispered in my ear. "Thank you." I had to smile at this. He did like me. _If only his grandson was that easy to read_, I mused. When we were at the door Jasper turned back and called out to his grandfather. "Oh, grandpa, don't forget the dishes!" All we heard as a response was some grumbling and of course this made Jasper chuckle.

"It isn't very nice of you to tease your grandfather." I said in mock reproach, but I couldn't hide my smile at their playful banter. I was so grateful for this opportunity to have a glimpse at Jasper's life in his most comfortable surrounding. I had a first hand experience of their easy relationship that I had once witnessed in the grocery store. I was happy that Jazz could relax in my company, too.

"Oh, please, he deserved it." Jazz said with a brilliant smile. He moved past me to open the passenger side door to me. It was so nice. I mean, yes Edward always did that, but it had a different connotation when some you love act in this considerate manner. I felt like I was floating on a cloud of happiness. We spent the whole ride home in a friendly conversation with the occasional teasing. When we arrived I was surprised that Jasper had got out of the car, too. At my surprised expression he explained. "You didn't think that I wouldn't walk you to the door, did you?" He asked teasingly. And who was I to complain?

At the door I stopped and turned to him. "Thanks for this lovely evening. I had so much fun." In truth probably it was the best night of my life.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." He said softly and what he did next shocked the hell out of me. He leaned toward me and gave me a hug. And it wasn't a simple friendly hug, it was a tender and loving one. He leaned closer and whispered. "Sweet dreams." And with that he let go of me and went back to his car. I needed time for recovering from the shock of his sudden action and from his intoxicating closeness. By the time I recovered some he was backing out of our driveway, but I managed a goodbye wave.

I felt like being on cloud nine as I closed the door behind myself. I was sure that I looked like a fool leaning against the door with a shit eating smile on my face. This night was better than my wildest imagination. Jasper was really trying and I knew that one day all of my dreams would come true. I had no idea for how long I stood there, but I was roused by my mom's voice.

"Oh, honey, I knew I heard you come in." She said and studied my face. "I see you had a good time."

"Oh, it was fantastic, Mom." I said happily and we went to the living room to join Dad on the sofa.

Mom turned to me with a mischievous smile. "So tell me, Alice, honestly. Who is the better cook me or Jasper?" I burst out laughing.

"Well…" I trailed off suggestively. Mom lightly hit my arm and looked at me in mock anger. Dad just smiled softly at our antics. Like my brothers, Dad wasn't very fond of the idea that I was interested in a boy. I was his little girl, but fortunately he liked Jasper, too. _What was not to like?_ He was gorgeous, smart, nice and polite. He was my everything.

That night my dreams were filled with Jasper and we did a lot more than just hugging…

For the next couple of weeks I noticed that the circles under Jasper's eyes started to fade. I hoped that he could sleep well. However, his behavior was more confusing than ever. We couldn't spend as much time together as I wished and sometimes he acted very distant. I hoped so much that we had passed this, but apparently every time we took a huge step forward we had to take two steps back. I had no idea what was going on and I decided that I had enough of this weird limbo we were engaged in. I gathered all of my courage to confront him at our next study session.

"Jasper, what is going on?" I asked him finally.

"What do you mean?" He asked back instead of an actual answer. I knew that he was just stalling.

"You act weird lately. Did I do something wrong?" I asked him desperately. I was so worried that I had pushed him too much or pressured him in some way. That was the furthest from my intention. I wanted to help him.

He sighed deeply. "You didn't do anything wrong. Never doubt yourself, please." He said with a weak smile. His words lifted my spirit somewhat, but he wasn't telling me the whole truth. Luckily he continued without having to remind him that he had promised honesty. "My grandpa found a shrink for me and we agreed on a weekly appointment on Mondays."

"And what's matter? Isn't the doctor good?" I asked because I didn't understand him. It couldn't be the reason for his distance.

"No, Dr. Simons seems fine." He stopped for a minute. It seemed that he was hesitating as to whether to tell me or not. "It just that that I feel frustrated with myself. Here I'm a 17-year-old guy who has to go to a shrink to help him understand himself. I'm so fucked up!" He truly looked frustrated and I was distracted when he ran his hand through his hair which in turn fell into his face. _God, he was gorgeous!_ I tried to focus because I couldn't let him talk about himself that way.

"Jasper, stop! Don't talk about yourself in that manner. I won't allow it!" I tried to sound reproachful because I wanted to get him out of those depressive thoughts. It seemed to work as he flashed me the first genuine smile in the last couple of days.

"You know, it still feels strange that somebody cares about me." He said thoughtfully. It was the first time that he had referred to my feelings since that fateful day. I didn't know what to say. I was determined that the next time that confession would be mentioned between us it would be a time when he reciprocated. I truly loved him, but him not saying back hurt a lot. At my continued silence he cocked his head and asked. "Does it bother you that I say things like that?" He sounded unsure.

"No, not at all. I was just taken off guard by that." I replied still incredulous.

He chuckled lightly. "I guess it isn't really like me, but my shrink says that I should voice my thoughts more often instead of keeping that much to myself." He explained.

"Oh, I see. So do you think he is right?" I asked. I was happy that he shared this with me.

"_She_ seems to know what she is doing as I tried some of her offered practices with grandpa and they really helped. It's strange, I had never believed in talking things through." He contemplated. I was a bit stunned. He had a female psychologist? The usual irrational jealousy reared its ugly head again. It happened every time a girl was mentioned in relation to Jazzy. Like when he had said that a female friend taught him Spanish. Was she a girlfriend? Just truly a friend? Maybe I was in need of a shrink, too.

Putting my insane inner monologue aside I focused on the conversation at hand. "I know what you mean. I always talk to Mom or Edward about my issues and it really helps." I admitted.

"Always?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. I knew he was hinting at my relationship to himself.

"Always." I confirmed with a slight blush.

"Thank you for listening!" He said gently, effectively changing the subject. That really was a dangerous territory and none of us was ready to deal with it.

"You are welcome. You know you can always count on me." I told him meaning every letter.

"That I know." He answered and squeezed my hand in affirmation. And he quickly changed the subject altogether. "So what about practicing a little Spanish?"

And then we were engrossed in my Spanish homework. True to his words Jasper helped me with Spanish and he was so much better than the teacher at school. He could explain everything to me in a way that made sense. And of course at first I was dying to hear him talk Spanish. I always liked that language as it has a certain flow to it. And that language in Jasper's rich deep voice was like nothing I had heard before. It rolled off his tongue like pure sex and I had a hard time simply breathing. _I was hyperventilating!_ Fortunately Jasper hadn't commented on my strange behavior and he was still willing to teach me after that first attempt.

One night I woke up in the middle of the night feeling awful. I was hot and sweaty and had a blinding headache. I felt really exhausted, too so I tried to ignore my discomfort and go back to sleep. When I heard my alarm-clock beeping I weakly reached over to switch it off. I didn't have any energy to get up. I desperately wanted to fall back asleep. I had no idea how much time had passed when there was a knock on my door and Edward cautiously stepped in.

"Hey, Ali, are you alright?" He asked, but one look at me convinced him otherwise.

"I don't think so." I said and my voice was horrible. It sounded like a frog's croaking. Edward stepped closer and checked my temple with his hand.

"I think you have a fever. I go and get Dad!" He hurried out of my room. _Great!_ I can't be sick. I have to spend time with my Jazzy. Maybe I was a bit delusional…

Dad thoroughly examined me and ordered me a bed rest for the rest of the week. I couldn't believe that I had caught a stupid cold. He gave me some meds for my temperature and my soreness. I really wanted to argue with him and insist that I was alright, but in reality I was too weak even to get up from my bed. Mom checked on me several times that day to see my temperature, give me meds or simply get me some soup. I was dozing off yet again when I heard my cell beep with a new text on my nightstand. I reached for it and my heart leapt with joy when I saw it was from Jazz.

_Hey, Alice! Edward had told me you were sick. Hope you feel better soon. Get well! Jasper x _

He put a kiss at the end of his message. I sincerely hoped that he really did and it wasn't some meds induced hallucination. I quickly replied my exhaustion long forgotten.

_Hey! Dad says I'll live and he is the doc. X_

His response was quick. Wasn't he at class? I check my clock. Hmm… it must his free period. We spent the next hour texting back and forth. During lunch period I got texts from Bella and Rose, too.

When my brothers came home Edward immediately visited me while Emmett decided to stay clear of me. He always had an irrational reaction to diseases, and it was just a simple cold. Anyway, Edward checked on me and gave me my homework.

"I have a surprise for you!" He announced out of the blue. He looked giddy. I wondered what happened to Bella, but I was too sick to guess.

"Yes?" I asked.

Instead of answering he reached for his bag and pulled out a folded paper. He handed that to me and stood up. "I will leave you alone now." He said with a huge smile.

I looked after him in total puzzlement. What the hell was that? I shook my head and unfolded the paper. _Oh, my God!_ It was a picture about a beautiful orchid in rich purple color. It was so lifelike! It took me a while to notice a little note in the right corner.

_As I couldn't send you flowers I thought I draw you one. Maybe it brightens your day. I hope you like it! Jasper_

I was speechless the first time in my life. I had no idea how he knew that that was my favorite flower, maybe he just guessed right. I couldn't believe how sweet he was. _Oh, God, I loved him with all my heart!_

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><p>So let me know what you think!<em><br>_


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 17

Finally it was the last day in school before the Christmas break. I was excited because today because we would get the evaluation of our history project. I was confident we nailed it. Jasper and I had finished it for last week and both of us were satisfied with the result. And our hard work had paid off as we got A+ for it. However, the teacher surprised us after the period.

"Mr. Whitlock, could you please stay for a minute!" He addressed Jasper.

I looked at him, but he seemed just as puzzled as I was. I was extremely curious, but I had to wait till lunch break to find out what had happened. And of course he had to rile me further with his slowness to arrive to lunch. Once I had asked him how it was possible to be the last one when he had a free period. He told me that he had always spent time in the library which was very far from the lunchroom. But today I could hardly wait for him to arrive.

"So what happened?" I asked him as soon as he walked into hearing distance. Of course this caused everybody to laugh including Jasper himself.

"Wow. Curious much?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. My cheeks heated up in embarrassment. I was too assertive again.

"Sorry." I mumbled and tried to wait patiently while he settled down and told us in his own time. He was stalling on purpose, but when I glared at him he chuckled and started to explain.

"Mr. Travis wanted to talk to me about the drawings in our project. He said that he had a friend who was teaching art at the University of Seattle and he had given my drawings to him to have a look." He paused dramatically, but by this time the others were on edge, too. "He said that they were very promising and he was impressed. He is interested in a personal meeting with me." He finished softly. He seemed surprised by his own talent.

"You see, I told you that you are very talented." I grinned at him.

"But that wasn't all." He said and at my encouraging nod he continued. "He said if that meeting goes well, there was a possibility that some of my works might be introduced at an exhibition in Seattle." He finished. I was in awe and I guess the others were too.

Edward was the first to break the silence. "Congratulation!"

"Thanks, man." Jazz said sincerely.

"So what happens next?" I asked.

"Well, Mr. Travis gave me his friend's phone number so I could contract him to talk about the details." He said. I was no longer able to keep back my squeal of happiness. I bounced a little, too. I was so proud of him and he was so adorable all confused and flustered because of his talent and success.

We decided to celebrate his success with a night out in Port Angeles. As usual we picked him up at the Diner in Emmett's jeep. We were going to celebrate with a nice meal at a restaurant and a movie afterwards. My relationship with Jasper steadily moved forward without the usual backdrop. I was very grateful for the improvement. And the psychologist was really helping him. He always talked to me about their sessions and he often told me what kind of assignment he had to do. By now he was almost as relaxed with me as he was with his grandfather. I helped when he needed it, but left him alone when he needed space. So it was easy to say that our relationship was perfect. Except it wasn't. While our friendship deepened considerably, any romantic intention was stuck at the flirting level. I mean Jasper was incredibly sweet and considerate to me, but what I really wanted was a kiss. _Well, maybe a little more than kissing…_ Jasper always gave me a hug when we said goodbye and on occasion we even held hands, but as always with him I wanted more. We were in a weird zone somewhere between being best friends and being lovers. I had no idea how long it would last.

For example that night in Port Angeles in some ways we acted like a couple and in other as friends. In the car he sat next to me, but he wasn't keeping his usual distance. He murmured things in my ear and occasionally he brushed my hand. It was sweet torture. And when we arrived he helped me out of that horrendous car and held my hand on the way to the restaurant. As usual the three handsome boys caused quite the ruckus with the local waitresses. But none of us had a reason to worry as our men had eyes only for us. It was a heady feeling, having Jazz's whole hearted attention turned to me. I was like an addict still craving more. He seemed to be in a happy mood and fortunately that lasted throughout the night. In the movies he continued in a friendly manner without the flirting part, but at least he had sat next to me. The darkness tempted me, I mean I sat at an arm distance from him in the darkness I could even feel the heat radiating from his body, only a couple of inches and I could touch him. It was really hard to fight the urge to molest him. It would have been the perfect date if he had kissed me at the end, but he just gave me the usual hug. True, we weren't exactly alone and I guess even I would have preferred a more private moment.

As the following week was the break I was free to organize shopping trips so I immediately scheduled two. Maybe three if my brothers needed my help. I went with my Mom to Seattle to get everybody a Christmas gift. This was my all time favorite kind of shopping: the Christmas shopping. I got everyone a gift except for Jasper. I mean I had the prefect gift for him, but I couldn't give that to him. Recently I got an email stating that my bid on that picture was accepted and I got it delivered to a nearby dealer shop. I still kept that purchase a secret. I hid the picture in the back of my closet. It was a bit different from his tattoo, but it was equally beautiful, I understood why it was one of his favorites. I would have loved to give that to him, but I knew it was way too soon. So now I had a problem with finding something equally great that was appropriate to our current relationship. The others were relatively easy to shop for. I got Bella a midnight blue cashmere sweater even though she forbade everybody to get her anything. But to quote Edward: "she just has to deal with it." I also got a top for Rose that looked deliciously improper, but I knew it would look great on her. I got Emmett a new videogame that I knew he coveted and for Edward I bought a premium quality manuscript paper in leather bonding for his composing with a matching old fashioned pen. I think he would love it! Dad and I had a tradition of always exchanging movies that we thought the other needed for inspiration so I got him the first season of House MD on DVD. I wanted to get a dress for Mom, but I couldn't very well get it with her being with me. Fortunately, I had another shopping trip scheduled for the week with the girls. They wanted my help with gifts for my brothers.

So on a Wednesday early morning Rose picked me and Bella up and we set out to Seattle. We planned on spending the whole day in town. I was surprised that Bella was quite content and her usual bitching about shopping was nowhere in sight. I decided to voice my concern on our way.

"So Bella are you alright?" I asked.

She frowned in surprise. "Of course. Why?" Her expression was puzzled.

"Well, we are going to shop all day and you are quiet. Where are your protests and grumblings?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm not that bad." She replied while blushing. I simply looked at her incredulously. _Not that bad?_ Exactly what she considered bad.

"Please, define bad…" I trailed off with a hand gesture, but before she could say anything Rose spoke up.

"It's because it's a Christmas shopping, Alice." Rose explained. "For some reason at this time of the year even our own little Grinch can enjoy herself." She said and smirked at Bella in the review mirror. Bella simply struck her tongue out at her. I giggled at their bickering.

We arrived to Seattle in record time and we didn't waste any more time starting the real fun: shopping. I selected a very beautiful and elegant dress for Mom that she could use on formal occasions and of course I couldn't resist buying some stuff for myself, too. When we decided to take a lunch break I had already got everything I wanted except a good gift for Jazz. During lunch we talked about the boys, what else? I had fun until Rose addressed me a rather difficult question.

"So, Alice, what's the deal with you and that gorgeous man of yours?" She asked me wiggling her eyebrows. It was official: she had spent way too much time with Emmett.

I sighed deeply. "He is not mine." I mumbled. They noticed the immediate change in my mood and looked at me more seriously.

"Come on, Alice! Something must have happened. You seem to be more than just friends." Rose inquired further. I had never told her that Jasper knew about my feelings. I didn't really know why I kept that away from her, I mean I told Bella, but I had a feeling Rose would react badly.

"Maybe we are, but we are still not a couple." I told her deliberately keeping it light.

"You know maybe you should stop fighting yourself and jump his fine ass the next time you see him. You give him a little more than just a hint." She suggested with a wink. I had to laugh at that. _If only…_

"Well, you certainly take the time to get to know each other." Rose commented again.

"Yes, I think that's the best way." I said a little defensively.

"Hey, don't mind me!" Rose said holding her hands up in peace. "You know your relationship best." I smiled at her in acknowledgment. After that Rose turned her attention to Bella giving her the Spanish Inquisition. Many giggles and blushing later Bella finally admitted that she and my dear brother had just hit third base. I knew my brother and I knew that he approached anything new with caution and Bella seemed the same. And also Edward would never do anything that would hurt his precious Bella. However, I had a feeling that this Christmas would turn out to be a real milestone in their relationship.

After lunch we went back shopping with renewed energy. We were wondering around the mall when I spotted a friendly looking store that sold art supplies. I immediately went to check it out while the girls went to a nearby CD store. I was looking at all of the products wondering what I should get when my eyes fell on the prefect item. It was a leather bound portfolio holder in a nice burgundy color. It was perfect for Jasper to keep his drawings in and he could also use it when meeting that college professor. I was very giddy with my success which only grew when they informed me that they did engravings, too. I knew just the right quote to add: "_You can have anything you want - if you want it badly enough. You can be anything you want to be, have anything you desire, accomplish anything you set out to accomplish - if you will hold to that desire with singleness of purpose. – Robert E. Lee"_ It was the perfect combination of his two greatest passions: drawing and the Civil War.

During the break Jasper's work schedule was slightly different. He worked till 14 p. m. which left most of his afternoons free. He alternatively spent the afternoons with me or his grandfather and he kept his therapy sessions on Mondays. He actually spent a lot of time in our house because once he had let it slip that he was interested in learning to play the guitar Edward had offered to teach him. When they practiced I tried to keep my distance because I knew if I had a glimpse of Jasper with a guitar in his hands I couldn't be hold responsible for my actions. _That would be too sexy to bear!_ I spent that time with Bella giving her mini makeovers like her nails or her hair. Of course she wasn't very fond of those times, even going as far as calling them torture, but she was always pleased with results especially when Edward expressed his liking.

And in time my Jazzy became friends with Emmett, too. I was always pissy when Emmett suggested playing videogames because that took hours and Jazzy didn't spend any time with me. Like today, I had just heard the end of Emmett's phone conversation and curiosity got the better of me so I asked.

"Who did you talk to?" I asked and dropped down on the sofa next to Edward.

"Your boyfriend." He smirked at me.

That surprised me. "And why did you talk to him?" There was no need to correct him about the term he used. I tried once with confusing results so I thought it would be best to leave it. And deep down I liked the sound of it, but I kept that information to myself.

"I was bored so I'm organizing a videogame competition and I invited Jasper so I could kick both of their asses." He pointed to Edward who only smirked back. The truth was that it was always Emmett who got his ass beaten. Then he leered at me and continued. "Plus I want to see if _you_ could share!"

As it turned out I couldn't. I mean Jazzy was in our house, but I couldn't spend time with me or simply just looking at him. It was mean and sadistic from Emmett. What would he do next? _Set my closet on fire?_ Guh, even the thought gave me the creeps.

However, one afternoon Jazz and I were hanging out in my room listening to music. I made it clear to my brothers that on that day Jasper was mine. I was lying on my bed just relaxing and Jasper was sitting on the sofa. He seemed to be deep in thought so I was free to stare at him all I wanted. He was wearing a navy blue sweater that made his gorgeous eyes look vibrant. He matched that with a pair of black jeans and of course his boots, but he removed those in the foyer. His hair was all messy because he constantly ran his hand through it tempting me. I loved when it fell in every direction giving him a very sexy and ragged appearance. _Hmm…_ I noticed it was a nervous gesture of his. Suddenly I became aware that those hypnotic eyes were concentrating on me and his full lips curved up into a smirk. _Shit!_ He had caught me checking him out shamelessly!

"Can I have a question?" He asked me. I blushed in reaction. "It's about my therapy." He quickly added effectively cutting through the beginning of my inner panic attack. I thought he was going to ask me about my staring.

"Sure." I said relieved which caused him to chuckle.

"So I got a homework assignment that I rather practice with you than grandpa." He said. I was instantly intrigued, he always practiced with his grandfather.

"Yes?" I asked to indicate to him to elaborate.

"Okay. It's about my discomfort with touching. Dr. Simons says that I should start building my tolerance with that. So basically I should be touching someone for an extended period of time. And I thought if you don't mind I would lie down next to you on your bed." He said nodding to the empty space near me. I stared at him blankly. _Let me get this straight!_ I could have Jazz on my bed on his own volition and he would touch me. Did he seriously think I would refuse that? Not in this lifetime.

I moved a bit to my right to make room for him. "Of course I don't mind." I said and patted the place on my bed. I tried to keep the giddiness out of my voice. I waited patiently as he slowly stood up and confidently walked to my bed. He laid down on his side facing me, but he didn't make a move to touch me. It was fine by me as I tried to breathe normally. _I mean, come on, Jazz was on my bed!_ We started talking about inconsequential things which gradually put me at easy. His usual calming atmosphere was influencing me. I suddenly felt his hand covering mine in a light touch and he waited again before doing more. I think he built it up slowly for my sake, too. In the end we were lying facing each other and our fingers were intertwined. His thumb started a sensual rubbing which caused me to continually loose the train of my thought. So after a while we just stared into each other's eyes without uttering a word. It was a surreal experience, but it felt nice and meaningful. That day I sensed a change in Jasper.

I was very excited on the day before Christmas with all the preparation and decoration. Dad was at home so the whole family together decorated the Christmas tree. We had a huge tree which Dad and I bought the day before. I preferred larger trees. The tree decoration was my favorite part of the holiday. When the tree was ready the boys and I went on to decorate the whole house. I needed their help because there were a lot of places that I couldn't reach. Later I helped Mom baking cookies for the next day and we also made preparations for the following day's meal. We had a busy schedule for the holiday.

On Christmas Eve we were alone, just the family. Mom and I made a delicious meal for dinner and later we exchanged gifts. I got such wonderful presents: Mom gave me a beautiful dress from my favorite designer, Dad gave me the movie, _One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest_, I was hoping that it wasn't a hint that he thought I was a cuckoo. Edward bought me a pretty necklace that matched the dress and from Emmett I got a book entitled _Cooking for Dummies_ and an apron that read in bold letters: "In this house 2 rules apply: #1. I'm the boss #2. See rule #1."After a while a retired to my room to call Jasper in private. I just needed to hear his voice. It rang out many minutes before he answered.

"Hey, Alice!" He greeted me. "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas!" I said in a happy tone. "I didn't interrupt anything, right?" I inquired because it took him a while to answer I hoped I didn't bother their holiday.

"Of course not. I was in the kitchen and my phone was in the living room." He explained lightly.

"So what did you get for Christmas?" I asked eagerly. I was curious what he got from his grandfather. I heard him chuckle before answering.

"I got a cool new helmet and some needed parts for my bike." He said animatedly. This made me smile, he loved that motorcycle so much.

The second day we had guests, Bella and her father. Charlie wanted to give Bella some new clothes so he gave me a limited sum to get her proper clothes. He had already given them to her and I was very curious about her reaction to the clothes. Bella was in an agony of mortification when all of us gave her the presents, but she only admonished Edward. He gave her a beautiful pair of earrings that had blue stones, but what Bella really appreciated was a CD that contained Edward's piano music. I had told him that she would like the CD best even though the earrings were gorgeous. That was just how Bella worked. Grudgingly she accepted my gift, too. I made her put it on to see how she looked and that was when she gave me a look that said she could strangle me on the spot. I just gave her a sweet and innocent smile. _Yeah, like she could scare me! _But I think all her bad mood and bitching had evaporated when Edward looked at her dazzled. Unfortunately for them Emmett had caught that look and the relentless teasing begun, he was very sly in front of the chief.

However, the last day was the most fantastic of all because that day Jasper came over. He came alone as his grandfather always spent that day with some friends. He came in his car because he had dropped his grandfather off at one of his friend's house. It was like the roles were reversed, but it was their business. Rose and Bella came over, too. We hung out together in the living room, just chatting and catching up. We watched a couple of Christmas specials on TV, but after a while the couples needed alone time. And I wanted to give my present to Jasper privately.

We retired to my room and settled down on my sofa. I hesitantly turned to him.

"Well, I have a confession to make." I stated.

"Yeah?" Jazz asked with a raised eyebrow. He didn't seem upset only curious. I took it as my clue to continue.

"Yes, so I bought you a present. I hope that's alright." I said waiting for a reaction.

A brilliant smile appeared on his face which immediately dazzled me before I could be curious about his reaction. But when my stupor evaporated I looked at him questioningly.

"I have a present for you, too." He explained. "It's in my bag downstairs. So I go and retrieve it. Okay?"

"Sure." I smiled widely. It was so nice of him to get me something. And of course I was full of excitement. What would he give me? I didn't have much time to dwell on it as Jazzy came back with a nicely wrapped package in his hand. He sat back next to me.

"Can I go first?" I asked him eagerly. I was very excited about his reaction to my gift, I could hardy contain my bouncing. Jazz looked at me in amusement.

"Sure." He simply said. I ran to my closet to retrieve his gift. I was too preoccupied when he had left the room earlier. Then I sat down next to him and gave him the large package. He cocked an eyebrow at the size of it, but he didn't comment. He carefully opened it and I was amused at his technique. I always tore away the wrapper with gusto. He examined the portfolio holder with wide eyes and when he noticed the engraving he caressed it with a light smile on his face. I started panicking when he didn't say anything.

"This is the most beautiful gift I have ever got." He said softly then gently hugged me. "Thank you." He whispered into my ear. I heaved a sigh of relief, he liked it.

"Really?" I asked and searched his face for the truth. He had the softest expression on his face, but those beautiful eyes were very intense. He had never looked more gorgeous than at that moment.

"Really." He assured me. "Are you curious about your gift, too?" He asked me with a teasing smile. I had no idea what he got me, but I just knew that I was going to like it. He handed over a package just as big as mine was with a comment. "I'm afraid it isn't as beautiful as your gift, but I have a feeling you would appreciate it."

I tore away the wrapper with gusto which made Jasper laugh. I was holding a very nice sketchbook in my hands. "Open it!" He whispered. So I did. My first thought was that it was for my designs, but it was already full. It contained a lot of different drawings about things that I liked and about the people I loved. These pictures were very special: they were all black and white except for the eyes. He used the perfect shade for everyone's eye color making them look like photographs. I was in awe, he had drawn them from memory. I had never seen more interesting or more beautiful portraits ever. He even included a portrait of me, but unlike the others it was in full color. However, the most beautiful of all was the last one. He gave me a picture about himself. I was speechless and my eyes moistened.

"Alice?" He prompted me to look up as he gently lifted my chin with his index finger. When he saw my tears he looked concerned.

"Is there something wrong?" He asked softly.

"No, nothing. It's so… I have no words. It's the best gift ever." I stuttered out finally. I hugged him in thanks and I may have squeezed him a little too hard. He leaned back a bit to look at my face, but he kept his hands around my waist. He reached over with one hand to brush away my tears. He searched my face with an intense gaze and he stole glances at my lips. When he seemed to find what he was looking for he gradually started to lean closer to me. _Oh, my God!_ He is going to kiss me! I was sure of it. I made a really quick mental scan of the house to make sure that no one was in the near vicinity to interrupt us. My eyes shuttered close and after what felt like an eternity of waiting his soft lips were finally on mine. _Holy hell, finally!_ He was gentle and soft, first he simply explored my lips with only the softest pressure discovering what got a reaction out of me, and then he gradually applied more pressure. Deliciously building up the kiss in intensity. When I whimpered in pleasure he used the opportunity to deepen the kiss and ran the tip of his tongue along my lower lip. I acted on instinct and opened my mouth for him. I moved my hands from his shoulders up along his neck and finally into his hair that I had fantasized about. It felt like silk and I grabbed a handful of it tugging him closer. Meanwhile, he wasted no time in exploring the feel of my mouth and when he retreated I mindlessly followed. I was immediately hit with his deliciously intoxicating taste and I let out a moan in appreciation. _And here I thought that his scent was intoxicating!_ Our tongues dueled in a passionate dance touching, caressing and stroking. _It was heavenly!_ Slowly I became lightheaded from the lack of air so unfortunately I had to ease back, but I kept my eyes closed. _Stupid need for breathing!_ The kiss was even better than I had imagined. It was the best first kiss ever and it had definitely been worth the long wait.

Slowly I opened my eyes to look in the beautiful face of Jasper. He looked at me softly and his thumb caressed my cheek. I moved my hand from his hair, but kept it around his neck.

"Wow." It was the only thing I was capable of uttering at that moment. I mean Jasper had just kissed me. _My Jazzy had kissed me!_ I couldn't believe it had finally happened. I sincerely hoped it wasn't one of those really vivid dreams.

"Yeah, you could say that." Jazz said softly still looking at me.

But my crazy mind couldn't keep up the kiss induced haze any longer and it started working on overdrive. What did this kiss mean? Was it a reaction to the gift? A reaction to the holiday spirit? Did he mean it? Were we a couple? Was the kiss good for him? Was it bad? Guh, I was totally insane… These kinds of thoughts ran across my mind while I was staring back at the beautiful boy in front of me. Our gaze was still locked neither of us had looked away. I didn't have a clue what it all had meant and I knew that we had to talk about it later, but now I just only looked. I would rather be damned than break this magical moment.

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><p>So what you think: was it worth the wait? Let me know your thoughts.<p>

And of course thanks for the reviews.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 18

That day we hadn't spoken any more about the fantastic kiss we had shared. We continued our previous conversation about the gifts and Christmas in general. However, it wasn't like nothing had happened as Jasper and I continued to hold hands as we sat right next to each other. It felt so natural and normal. And when it was time for him to go home he gave me a quick peck on the lips as a goodbye. I couldn't say I was disappointed. I had spent the rest of the evening in my own little happy bubble. I tuned everyone out and my mind concentrated only the feel of Jasper's lips on mine. I had finally had my first kiss and it was with my Jazz. It couldn't have been any more perfect. I kept lightly touching my lips and I shivered every time I remembered that kiss. It was better than any dream or imagination I could come up with; it was reality. A much awaited reality for us. I had never slept more peacefully than at that night.

The next morning I woke up with a huge smile on my face. I quickly got dressed and went downstairs to eat my breakfast as I was very hungry. I was humming a happy tune to myself all the way down, and in the kitchen while I prepared my cereal. Only Mom and Dad were in the kitchen which was typical for a Saturday morning. Edward and Emmett must be still asleep. I noticed that Mom and Dad exchanged an amused look before Dad decided to address the issue.

"You certainly seem to be in a good mood this morning, Ali!"

"It is a very nice morning!" I answered in a sweet tone. I ate my breakfast in good humor, my happy mood never broke. When I finished I started humming again as I went upstairs, and on the way I passed my brothers.

"Okay, whatever she is taking I need one, too." Emmett sounded very sleepy. I just laughed at them and they shook their heads in reaction.

In my room I walked to my bathroom to brush my teeth and to do my makeup for the day. I knew that Jazz was going to come over as he had a guitar lesson with Edward, and we needed to talk. I had to look irresistible. It was unfair that it was too cold for me to wear shorts, I just knew I would be very successful in them. There was a light knock on the door.

"Come in!" I called out. I had a suspicion who it might be, and when I walked back to my room it turned out I was right. Mom was sitting on my bed.

"Hey, Mom!" I said nonchalantly.

Mom shook her head in amusement. "Oh, Alice, honey you are not that good an actress." She started and patted the bed indicating for me to sit. "If I had to guess something had happened between you and Jasper. He is the only one who is capable of putting you in that mood." Mom stated confidently.

I recalled what had happened in this very room and I was giddy again. I sprinted across the room and jumped right next to Mom.

"He kissed me! He kissed me!" I chanted over and over again excitedly. I was too happy to moderate my volume or my behavior. Fortunately, everybody else was still downstairs.

Mom smiled happily at me. She was happy for me because she knew how much I wanted that kiss and how long I was waiting for it. She tilted her head and said teasingly. "And I guess you enjoyed it."

At this point I was bouncing like a maniac on my bed. "Yes!" I shouted. And then added a more adequate manner "He is a very good kisser."

"I'm sure he is." Mom said a bit amused. Okay, I had no other experience, but I was sure that no one kissed better than my Jazzy. "So did you talk about it?" Mom asked now seriously.

"Well, no…" I trailed off, but before Mom could voice her disapproval I quickly continued. "I didn't want to ruin the moment. Besides, I thought that he should be the one who brought it up as I didn't want to push him."

"Hmm… I think you made the right decision." Mom said and thoughtfully added. "Just make sure that you two talk about it. You need to see clearly."

"I know." I simply said. I knew that everything had to happen in the perfect order.

Later I was leafing through the sketchbook that Jasper had given me. I might have lingered on his portrait a little longer than on the others. But that was the most beautiful of all! I still couldn't comprehend how lifelike they all looked. I wanted to share it with someone I knew would appreciate it. I walked with the sketchbook in my hand up to the third floor and gently knocked on the door.

"Come in, Ali!" I heard Edward say through the soft background music.

"How did you know it was me?" I questioned as I went and sat down next to him on the sofa.

"I had a feeling." He smiled. It was our twin thing. If the other was genuinely excited about something the other would feel it, too. The last time it had happened was when Edward and Bella had gone out for the first time. "What is that in your hand?" He asked indicating my gift.

"I want to show you something, Well, just a part of it." I said and quickly turned the book over to Bella's portrait. I handed it over to him. "Take a look at this!"

I watched as Edward looked at the picture in wonder. He didn't seem to be able to tear his eyes from that picture or to utter a word. I wasn't blaming him, I had the exact same reaction.

"How…" He started a little unsure. "I mean how did you get this?"

"It was my gift from Jasper." At this revelation Edward looked at me sharply. "I know. And he had done them from memory, he is very observant. Look!" I said and showed him my picture. I only wanted to show him those two pictures.

"It is in color." He simply stated. I only nodded. "I still can't comprehend how he could capture my Bella's beautiful eyes…" He wondered. I had to giggle. Of course Edward would only notice that.

"I know. It is so lifelike!" I agreed.

"It's like a photograph." He said. "He is really very talented. I had no idea."

"Well, you could have believed me when I told you." I playfully scolded him.

"Yeah, well, you are a bit biased." He informed me with a raised eyebrow. I gaped at him.

"Huh. The pot calling the kettle black." I huffed at him. He only grinned at me in response.

However, I sobered up quickly as I remembered the other reason why I came over. "Hey, could you tell Jasper to come over to my room when you guys finished. I need to talk to him." I said.

"Of course." He immediately sobered up, too. "Is something wrong?"

No, everything is alright." I didn't want to tell him anything until I talked to Jasper.

That afternoon I was reading a couple of fashion magazines already planning my next shopping spree. There were a lot of amazing clothes in them. Suddenly I heard my cell ring and I picked up not bothering checking the caller ID.

"Hey, Alice! How are you?" It said in a very familiar and sexy Southern drawl.

"Hello, Jazz!" I said happily then froze. Did I just call him Jazz to his face? _Shit!_ Why can't I control myself when it comes to him? I mean I know why I can't behave when I see him, but over the phone? I was a total mental case.

"Jazz?" He asked in amusement.

Here comes the humiliating explanation, but I still tried to make it sound nonchalant. "Um… Yes, that's a nickname I thought of."

"Jazz." He said it again wonderingly. I was about to apologize, but he spoke up. "I like it. I have never had a nickname."

"So is it okay if I call you that?" I asked a bit timidly.

"Sure." He simply replied. Suddenly it occurred to me that he called me and not the other way around.

"So how can I help you?" I asked him wondering why he had called when we would meet later.

"Oh, I was just wondering if you would ever come out of your room." His question confused me. How did he know that I had spent the afternoon in my room?

"How…" I started when suddenly it dawned on me. "Jasper Whitlock!" I shouted and ran downstairs. I heard some sniggers coming from the living room. I dashed in the room to come face to face with a really amused Jasper and my equally entertained brothers. I was so immersed in my magazine that I hadn't even noticed that Jasper had arrived. _It had never happened before!_

"Oh, little sis, you should have seen your face just now." Emmett managed to utter through his laughter. I was still in shock over what Jazz had just done. I was a bit taken aback, too. It was definitely not what I had expected from him after our kiss. Edward immediately saw the change in my mood.

"You should be mad at Emmett, Ali. It was his idea." He hinted gently. I noticed that Jasper had sobered up, too. So that only left Emmett who was still very well entertained. I made a mental note to make sure that Emmett had spent very limited time with Jasper. _He would corrupt my sweet Jazzy!_ Emmett was very good at noticing other people's weaknesses and he knew my only weakness was Jasper, and he wasn't afraid of using him against me. I got so worked up by these thoughts that I was ready to pounce on my smirking brother, however, Jasper distracted me.

Jasper stood up and asked sweetly. "Alice, can I talk to you?"

When my eyes met his everything was forgotten. My brothers dimmed in the background and all I could focus on was Jasper's fathomless eyes. They held such a warm expression that I was melting. He looked so handsome in his white button-down shirt and black pants. His skin was naturally darker a bit than our paleness, like a really long lasting tan, and it contrasted beautifully with the lightness of his shirt. I couldn't get over how gorgeous he was! _Hmm… My luscious Jazzy._

"Sure." I replied in a dazed tone. I dimly heard more sniggering, but I didn't give a damn. I would take revenge later. Now I was alone with my love.

We walked side by side up the stairs toward my room. We were silent. When we arrived to my room I blushed when I noticed that my bed was covered with magazines and my room looked kind of messy.

"Sorry, I was reading." I mumbled.

"Well, that explains everything." He said and he sounded amused. What the hell?

"What do you mean?" I asked suspiciously.

"We were just wondering what had kept you so long." He answered, but I was sure he was playing it down. I knew Emmett: he was wondering why I hadn't run down the minute I heard him arrive. _That little bastard!_ I would have to think up the perfect revenge!

"Alice?" I was roused my vengeful thoughts by a sexy drawl.

"Sorry, I was a bit lost in thought…" I trailed off not wanting to elaborate on those thoughts. Suddenly I noticed a shift in the atmosphere in the room, now it was filled with tension. _Oh, God! This was it._ It was the moment that would determine everything and I was afraid. Afraid of what it would entail.

"Alice!" Jasper spoke up a little tentatively. "I would like to talk to you about um… last night. About that kiss."

I could only nod in reply. Well, at least I didn't have to wait a lot till he brought it up. I couldn't decide whether it was a good or a bad sign. Meanwhile, we settled down to our usual spot on my sofa. Before he spoke up again, Jazz ran his hand through his long mane. _Shit!_ He was nervous, too. That couldn't mean anything good.

"I think first we need time to adjust to everything." He stated simply, but my heart was overwhelmed with agony. He used the time as an excuse to stay simply friends. He just didn't want to hurt my feeling. He didn't feel the same way and that kiss didn't mean anything to him. I was in hell and I hadn't the faintest idea how to handle this rejection. I bowed my head and fought my tears. I didn't want to cry again in front of him. However, Jasper gently tilted my chin up to look him in the eye. Why was he torturing me? I already had enough.

"I think you misunderstood me, Alice." He said softly. His expression was warm and inviting. Hope rose again inside me. "I meant that we should still take things slowly. That kiss has changed our relationship, moved it past friendship. But we still need time to get comfortable with each other."

I was immensely relieved by his words. So to express my understanding and gratefulness I gently hugged him. He reciprocated and he held me close for a while. When I eased back I studied his face looking for signs that I could be a little bolder. I wanted to kiss those perfect lips once again and I couldn't resist stealing glances at them. Jazz didn't seem to be opposed to the idea so I leaned closer and softly pressed my lips to his. This kiss was different from our first one. He softly took my lower lip with his and rubbed it gently. His mouth moved lingeringly over mine. _It felt heavenly!_ This time the kiss was slower and gentler and somehow more meaningful.

After that amazing afternoon finally Jasper and I was a couple.

I agreed with his suggestion of taking things slowly. As eager as I had been to start this relationship the truth was that it really was my first relationship. Jasper was my first boyfriend, and hopefully the only one. He was right: I needed time to adjust. At first we acted kind of awkward with each other, not knowing what was right. We had to ease into this new relationship and it wasn't a smooth sailing. Besides the awkwardness I was still very aware of Jasper's issue of being touched and although he was working on it, it didn't magically disappear overnight. It still occurred quite often that he moved away from me or he felt uncomfortable with our closeness. I learnt not to feel rejected or hurt by his distance because I understood that what we needed was time and practice.

However, it didn't mean that kissing was off the table, but we weren't making out like a couple of hormonal teenagers or like Emmett and Rose. Our kisses were few and far in between, always experimenting and practicing. Jasper was very skilled so I was convinced that Rose had been right that day a long time ago: Jasper had experience. I was still very confused over that issue. I liked that he was teaching and guiding me, but I hated the fact that he had kissed another girl or girls in the same way. I was curious who was his first? Were there many more? We had never talked about past relationships as it would have been way too early. I think Jasper had suspected that I didn't have any experience, but thankfully he never mentioned it.

One afternoon we were hanging out in my room. We were lazily lounging on my sofa listening to some music, and I was snuggling up to Jazz. I was preoccupied with thinking about how to invite Jasper as my date to the New Year's Eve party. Dad's colleague, who had thrown that fantastic Halloween party, had invited us again for a New Year's party, too. I was excited as it could be the first time we officially went somewhere as a couple.

"What are you doing on New Year's Eve?" I blurted out, but I figured it was as good an introduction as any. And hastily began an explanation. "I'm asking because our family was invited to Dr. Brown's New Year's party and I was wondering if you would be my date." I asked hopefully, but Jasper's expression changed from an amused smile to an apologetic one.

"I'm sorry, Alice, but I can't." He said and then quickly added. "I mean I will be there, I just can't be your date." Well, that was confusing. He didn't want to be seen with me? What the hell? Then he chuckled at his own obscurity. "Remember? At the Halloween party I told you that I usually work at Dr. Brown's parties and he asked me about the New Year's party right after the last one. As I had no idea that we would be together by then I easily accepted."

"Oh, I see." I had totally forgotten about that. But hey, Jasper was in a pirate outfit when he had said all that so I could be excused for not paying much attention to his words! I couldn't hide my disappointment: I wanted to smooch him at midnight. This would have been the first time I could kiss someone on midnight!

"Don't worry!" He whispered to me. "I will make sure that I'm right beside you for a midnight kiss." I giggled. It was like he had heard my thoughts.

The party was held in the same hotel as the last one, and we went in two cars again, but this time Bella came, too. I had serious fun with getting her ready because she had learnt when it came to dresses I was always right. We were all dressed up very nicely. I knew that Jazz was already in Port Angeles as he had texted me earlier so naturally when we arrived I started my quest for Jasper. Soon I was successful as I spotted him not far from me. I had to admit I was a little disappointed that he wasn't wearing that sexy pirate outfit. That costume had become the focal point of many of my fantasies. _Maybe sometime in the future he could make one of those fantasies into reality…_ But now he was wearing a crisp white shirt with a black waistcoat and dress pants, and also a bowtie. Well, I guess I couldn't really complain about his appearance as he looked very hot in that, too. Throughout the night he came up to me often to chat or just to be with me, and I was pleased to note that Jazz was a man of his word as he gave me the most fantastic kiss at midnight. _It was the best way to start a new year! _I had a feeling that this year would be filled with new experiences and beautiful memories…

As the winter break continued on Jasper had spent more and more time in our house. We had spent as much time as possible together. As we explored our new relationship I got little glimpses of a completely new side of Jasper, a calmer and more playful side. I suspected this was the Jasper who could have been if the horrors of his past had never happened. He was more and more relaxed, and our kisses became more frequent, too. It happened often that we ended up on my sofa in a full make out session. I found myself more deeply in love with him than ever, and I longed to hear the most beautiful three little words from him. I knew he loved me, I felt it, but I really wanted to hear it. But with Jazz the best tactic was patience and waiting, and so far everything that I had to wait for with Jasper was worth the long wait.

We were hanging out one afternoon, when my Jazzy interrupted my thoughts as he spoke up.

"Can I ask a favor?" Jasper asked a bit hesitantly.

"Sure." I replied without thinking. It was out of the blue, to say the least.

Jasper raised one eyebrow. "Really?" He started a little amused. "You don't even want to know what it is before you agree? That's good to know."

_Shit!_ I answered too quickly. But the truth was that I would do anything for him so he could really ask for anything. Of course he didn't know that. So I smiled and tried to avert his attention from my slip.

"Well, what it is?" I asked in a way too innocent tone.

Jasper chuckled and shook his head at my obvious tactic. "Well, yesterday I talked to that college professor that Mr. Travis suggested." He started to explain and my attention was immediately turned back to him.

"And what did he say?" I asked eagerly. It was such a great opportunity for him.

"We agreed on a meeting in a few weeks time. He told me that as in our project I mainly depicted male figures he would like to see a couple of pictures with female forms. I don't have pictures like that so I have to draw fresh ones. And I'd like if you could pose for those pictures." He finished quietly. I think my mouth was hanging open. _I did not see that coming!_ I had a huge dilemma: on one hand I was thrilled that he chose me for his model, but on the other hand it would mean he would be looking at me for extended periods. He would notice my little flaws and imperfections that I tried to hide. I gulped nervously.

"Are you sure?" I asked stalling. "I mean Rose is more like a model than I am."

He moved closer to me and he lifted his hand to gently caress my cheek. He leaned closer and he gave me butterfly kisses along my neck; I shivered in reaction. Then he placed a gentle kiss on the very sensitive spot right below my ear.

"Maybe, but I prefer you." He whispered huskily in my ear. "Your beauty is more natural, it comes from within. Will you do it? Please."

"Yes." I breathed out. My brain was a complete mush as a result of his sensual seduction.

"Thanks." He said and sat back on the sofa. He looked completely satisfied while I looked at him dumbfounded. Where was my kiss? I narrowed my eyes at him when I realized that he was playing with me! I hated when he teased me like this: tempting me with his sensual lips and that sexy drawl. I made the huge mistake of telling him how much I liked his accent, and now he always emphasized it when he wanted something or when he was teasing me. However, I wasn't born yesterday. I turned to him purposely making my eyes look soft and wondering, and topped the whole thing off with my irresistible pout.

"Jazzy?" I said in mock hurt.

"Yes, Alice?" He asked back with a cocked eyebrow. He was very good at this game, but I was determined that this time I would win. I also leaned back on the sofa. We sat side by side facing each other, only a couple of inches separated us. I slowly lifted my hand and reached out to tuck a loose lock of hair behind his ear and then purposely ran my fingertips down along his neck. I watched in fascination as goose bumps erupted all over his skin. I looked back up to his face and into his eyes which were impossibly dark and intense. All pretenses of a game was long forgotten when his full lips connected to mine. And we exploded in a very passionate kiss: our mouth immediately opened upon touching and we engaged in a wet, needy and deep kiss. Slowly our urgency calmed in intensity and I settled for gently biting his full lower lip. When I moved back I hummed in pleasure. It was so good kissing him. It took me a while to be able to focus again on the conversation. He always dazzled me.

As we talked more and more about this modeling I became more comfortable with the idea. In fact so comfortable that I started thinking about the outfits I should wear.

"Jazz, do you have anything in mind as to what should I wear?" I asked him softly.

"Yes, about that…" He trailed off and he looked serious. "I was thinking about nude pictures." I gaped at him. His last statement hung heavily between us. He couldn't possible be serious, could he? _Shit!_ He looked dead serious.

I stuttered out some unintelligible noises, and a devilish smile appeared on his face. "I was just kidding, Alice! I wouldn't do that to you. Yet!" He said with a wink. I playfully hit his chest.

"That was mean!" I pouted. He understood my silent hint and kissed me better. I decided if he ever wanted to make a naked picture about me I would agree with the only condition that he would have to be naked, too. Just to be fair!

"Back to your original question, I was thinking about three different outfits. One with you in jeans shorts with one of those tops that don't have any sleeve or strap."

I interrupted him a bit amused. "You mean a tube top?"

"Yeah, whatever." He mumbled. I just giggled. It seemed that there were things that he didn't know. But he continued his explanation without missing a beat. "The other with a full dress, you know, with a skirt, and the last one with something causal." He paused for a minute. "So what do you think? Does it sound manageable?"

"Yes, perfectly." I smiled at him.

The following day he came over to start working on the new pictures. He had said that our living room was the perfect place because of the lights. He had explained the importance of the lights, but I didn't really understand. But he was the artist! So here I stood in front of my full length mirror wearing my favorite pair of jeans short and a yellow tube top. Jasper had asked me not to wear any makeup and to be barefoot. I felt very naked in this outfit, both figuratively and literarily. As I thought about this whole modeling thing it occurred to me that this way Jazz's whole attention would be turned toward me. And I was all for that! I took a deep breath and went downstairs to meet my Jazzy. For our drawing session I prohibited anyone to enter the living room. Of course Emmett wanted to be difficult about that, but fortunately Mom had noticed his devilish expression and took him out for shopping. I loved my Mom!

When I arrived to the living room Jazz was sitting on the floor preparing his pencils and tools. At first he hadn't noticed my appearance so I cleared my throat loudly. His head jerked in my direction and he stared at me admiringly. He was such a goner for jeans shorts! For many minutes he continued staring at me without a word. I felt triumphant! _Finally I had an obvious effect on him!_ It did wonders to my ego: usually it was I who became a mindless idiot upon seeing his gorgeous face. He roused himself from his daze and coughed a little.

"Um… I think you should stand here." He said indicating the empty space in front of the huge windows. He quickly gave instructions for the pose. I had to stand facing away from him, but my upper body was turned back toward him. My left hand was on my hip while the other was simply in a relaxed state. He tilted my head a bit upwards.

"Is this pose comfortable enough?" He asked me.

"Yes." Well, it was only partly true. I mean yes in itself it was quite comfortable, but if I wanted to look at him not so much.

"Okay, I'll try to make it quick. Tell me if you are cold or uncomfortable!" He said.

"I will." I assured him. He was so considerate of me!

He moved somewhere behind me and he was quickly immersed in his work. I felt his eyes on me all the time. I knew I shouldn't feel this strongly about it as he was drawing a picture about me of course he would look. But still I felt an excited thrill ran through my whole body. There was something very exciting and arousing in this situation: I was his model that he could mold according to his will. In this position he could do anything to me, I depended on his mercy. I had no idea that these kinds of things excited me. Well I guess I really was an empty canvass that Jasper had to fill with everything.

* * *

><p>Sorry about the long wait for this update, but I had difficulties with this chapter. I'm still not completely satisfied with it. Would you like to hear from Jasper in the next chapter?<p>

But thanks everybody for the reviews.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 19

JPOV

_Oh, Why?_ Why did I have to put myself in this situation? When I had thought about the positions for Alice I had forgotten a very crucial detail: namely her spectacular ass, and of course now I could barely tear my eyes from her. _Fuck!_ I needed to focus! I promised her that I would be quick about the drawing as that pose wasn't the most comfortable of all. So I tried to ignore the fact that my model was Alice and started to work on the picture in earnest. I had asked her not to wear any makeup because I wanted to depict her natural beauty. I had no idea why she had felt the need for makeup, but I figured it was a girl thing. I studied the curve of her graceful neck, her slim and shapely shoulders and I had a problem when I noticed the outline of her left breast. I shifted uncomfortable; suddenly my pants became a little tight. Thank God Emmett wasn't at home! If he saw me now, he would beat the living shit out of me, especially after the warning lecture he had given me after he found out about my new relationship with Alice. I was a little surprised at the timing though, I mean it couldn't that big a surprise, he must have seen it coming. I can clearly recall his words.

"_If you ever hurt my little sister I won't hesitate to break your legs or worse!"_ In truth he was quite scary when he had said that. I tried to promise it, but in all honesty I wasn't sure that I wouldn't hurt her at some point. Not intentionally of course. But I wasn't that stable. Fortunately, remembering to Emmett's warning helped me with the pants situation.

However, when I got to the part to depict her fine ass the problem in my pants returned tenfold. _Down boy!_ It was not the time or the place for it. I quickly adjusted my pants and willed my erection to die. Fortunately, my portable easel was in my lap hiding my bulge. I frantically tried to think about Emmett instead, and like before it was successful so when I calmed down a little I was able to finish up her figure. My only remaining task was to pay attention to the details, but I didn't need Alice for that and I think that pose was really becoming uncomfortable as I noticed she had goose bumps all over her tiny body.

"Okay, Alice, you can move now." I told her.

She seemed surprised. "Are you ready?" She asked while turning around. "Can I see it?"

"No." I said firmly. "I still need to finish the little details." She pouted at my refusal so I made a promise. "But I will show you when it's done." With that I started working on it again. However, I noticed that Alice was still standing in front of the window watching me with a dreamy expression.

"Alice?" I tried in vain to gain her attention. She was fully focused on one of her daydreams, and judging from the way she was looking at me I was the protagonist of her imaging. I couldn't imagine why I had that effect on her, but I wasn't stupid enough to question it. I smiled at this revelation and decided to tease her a bit. _I loved getting her all riled and flustered! She always looked fucking beautiful!_ She was concentrating on my hand for some reason so I slowly lifted it up and ran it through my hair. Her eyes followed the movement with fascination. Then I started rubbing my lower lip with my thumb all the way pretending to focus on my work. I noticed from the corner of my eye that Alice's breathing pattern had sped up so I decided to put her out of her misery and flashed her a huge smile letting her know that I noticed her preoccupation. Her expression immediately changed to embarrassment and I had to laugh.

"Jazz!" She cried putting her hands on her hip. She tried to look stern and put out, but her eyes told an entirely different story.

"Sorry, Alice, but I couldn't resist." I told her, but she still pretended to be hurt. I knew just the right way to console her. I looked deeply in her eyes and asked softly. "What can I do to make it up for you?"

Her posture loosened and she silently pointed to her mouth. I chuckled at this. Alice was very enthusiastic about kissing. I stood up and slowly walked up to her, I only stopped when I was only inches away. I tower over her little frame and when she lifted her head up to look at me I swiftly leaned in and kissed her. She was quite vocal about her pleasure as she always moaned when I liked her lower lip and groaned when I bit down on it. I loved those sounds so I made her do both.

I leaned back and looked at her. She had kept her eyes closed, but had a gentle smile on her face. "Am I forgiven?" I asked.

"Yes." She breathed opening her eyes. Suddenly I noticed that she was shivering and without thinking I started to run my hand up and down her arm assuming she was cold.

"Are you cold?" I asked. "Maybe you should go up and change into warmer clothes." She looked at me a little confused, and then she seemed to be debating something internally. Finally, she let out a long breath and said. "Yeah, I think you are right. But I'll be back real quickly." With that she ran up the stairs.

I went back to my drawing and started putting it and my stuff away. I had a feeling that I wouldn't have any more time here to work on it. I had just finished putting the paper in my new portfolio when I heard someone coming. It was too heavy to be Alice.

"Hey, is the coast clear?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, we had just finished." I assured him.

"Thank God!" He heaved a sigh of relief. I stared at him a little confused. _What was that all about?_ He noticed my puzzlement so he explained. "You see Alice had forbidden everybody to come here, but Bella will be here any minute."

I had to laugh at that. "Yes, your sister can a bit um… intense sometimes."

"You are putting it lightly. She is a control freak little pixie." Edward chuckled.

"Pixie?" I asked. I had already noticed that Emmett had called Alice that, but never knew the reason. And Edward had never called her anything but Ali.

"Yes, Emmett and I started to call her pixie after she first cut her hair short. It was much shorter than now and she looked like a little pixie with her short hair and small frame." He explained. "But don't call her that! She really hates it!" He warned me as an afterthought.

"I wasn't planning on it, but it truly fits her." I assured him.

"I know." He grinned.

"What are you two talking about?" Alice immediately asked as she stepped in the living room.

"Nothing that concerns you." Edward said and winked at me.

Alice huffed at his secretive attitude. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

Before he could answer we heard the unmistakable roar of Bella's ancient truck.

"Never mind." Alice said with a light headshake. We watched in amusement as Edward rushed toward the door to greet his girlfriend. Sometimes Alice and Edward could be so alike, especially if they were really excited about something. Although I had a hard time imagining Edward squealing and bouncing. I chuckled to myself at that ridiculous mental image. We spent the rest of the day just simply hanging out and later even Emmett and Rose joined us.

I went over to the Cullen's mansion everyday after that to finish my drawings in time. But for the next poses I took Alice's fine ass into consideration and made sure that I wouldn't have a _hard_ time concentrating. For the following drawing Alice had put on that emerald dress that I had helped her pick out. _She looked fucking fantastic in that!_ That dress had made her eyes look vibrant and huge. For the last picture I had given Alice full rein over the clothes and the pose as well. It was clear that she was very excited about it. It took her quite some time to settle on the clothes and then on the pose. Finally, she had settled on a pair of high heeled knee-length boots, which looked extremely sexy, a pair of black skinny jeans and a red button down long sleeved flimsy shirt. And I had to depict her lounging on their sofa in the living room. She looked utterly hot, but nothing could beat that emerald dress… When all of the pictures were finished I deemed it time to show them to her. She was visibly excited at the prospect and thankfully she liked them, in fact she liked them so much that she insisted to show them to her mother. I was still shy about showing my work to others, but her enthusiasm was catching and I didn't want to ruin her mood. Mrs. Cullen was impressed…

One morning I woke up startled by the sharp beeping of my alarm clock. I sat up and shut it down. I yawned tiredly. It happened quite often recently that I had felt very exhausted, but I couldn't find a reason to it. I slept just fine these days and work was normal, too. Maybe it was a rough phase. And speaking of a rough phase, this was the first day of school after the winter break. Also known as Alice and mine first début as a couple. I stood up feeling a little light-headed, but it passed soon and I went downstairs to make breakfast. To my surprise grandpa was already in the kitchen making some toast.

"Good morning, son!" He greeted me cheerfully.

I cocked an eyebrow at his unusual display. "Morning!" I mumbled. "You couldn't wait?" I asked indicating his breakfast.

"Oh, I was just in the mood to make something for myself." He explained and then dag in his food with gusto. When I noticed the opened jar of marmalade, I immediately understood his good mood and the reason as to why he hadn't waited for me to make him breakfast. I shook my head at him, he had such a sweet tooth, but sugar wasn't that good for his health. However, today I let it slide and I went to pour myself a large cup of steaming coffee.

"Wouldn't that be a little much?" Grandpa asked a little amused.

"Neh! I need the extra boost." I said. After I finished my coffee I went upstairs to get ready. I had to set out earlier than usual due to the cold and snow. Being January the roads were covered with snow and ice so I have to be careful with my bike.

"So, son, when will you be back today?" Grandpa asked from his comfortable chair in the living room while I put on my winter boots.

"Well, I have a meeting with Dr. Simmons and Alice has invited me over for dinner. So I guess around 7 or half past 7. Is that alright?" I asked and turned to him.

His face was lit up with a huge grin. He had been elated when I informed him that I had kissed Alice and that now we were a couple. I had to laugh at his enthusiasm; it even rivaled Alice's if that was possible.

"It's perfectly alright, son. You know, you could invite that young lady over more often!" He hinted cheerfully, and then added more soberly. "And be careful on the roads!" He was always worried about my using the bike during winter, too.

"I will." I promised. "Bye!"

When I arrived to school Alice was waiting for me in front of the office building with Edward and Bella. Alice insisted that we got our schedules together so she could change it if we didn't have classes together. Her reasoning was that she wanted to spend as much time as possible with me. I didn't have the heart to point out to her that during classes we could hardy spend time together so I had just smiled and nodded. As I walked up to them I sensed that Alice wanted a kiss, but I simply settled for reaching for her hand. I wasn't comfortable with public displays of affection.

"Hey, Jazzy!" Alice greeted me quickly disguising her disappointment.

"Good morning, Alice!" I said. "Guys!" I greeted Bella, too and shook hands with Edward.

"Hello, Jazz!" He said.

Everybody started to call me Jazz after Alice had come up with that nickname. I really liked it, but Alice was the only one who was allowed to call me Jazzy. That was too familiar and private.

As it turned out Alice was onto something because according her original schedule we didn't have any classes together. So she quickly made Mrs. Cope change the schedule to fit mine. To my surprise Alice even sacrificed one of her classes with Edward to be in my Biology class. Now we shared all of our classes except for my free period Spanish right after lunch. After everything was settled we all set out for our first period English.

Throughout the day I noticed that Alice was becoming quieter and quieter by the minute. I had a suspicion about the reason. We walked to each class while holding hands which by the way caused quite the stir with the student population, not to mention Lauren. When she saw us together her face became beet red with anger, and I swear I saw her stomp her foot once. I hoped that now she would leave me the fuck alone! However, Alice was upset because we haven't kissed, yet. So to remedy the situation I excused us a little early from our table during lunch.

"Alice, could you come with me, please?" I asked her sweetly.

"Sure." She said suspiciously.

"You better stay away from the brooms closet!" Emmett warned only half joking.

"Relax, we all know that's your place." Edward retorted sarcastically.

But we didn't hear the rest of their bantering as I was leading Alice toward a secluded area near the lockers where we could have semi privacy. We turned into a rarely used corner.

"Jazz?" Alice questioned me with wide eyes, but instead of answering I silenced her with a kiss. I was a bit surprised that after the initial touch of our lips she wasted no time in plunging her tongue in my mouth so I let her have control over that kiss. Her tongue expertly dipped and stroked mine making the kiss hot, slick and wet. Initially she had been hesitant in our kisses as I had suspected she didn't have much experience in these kinds of things. But she definitely was a quick learner! I had no doubt that Alice didn't have any sexual experience, and now I was responsible for all her experiences. I wasn't quite fond of that thought, I wasn't too sure about myself. But at least I have experience in that area. When Maria and I had started our sort of relationship we both had been virgins, and while I tried to be gentle with her I didn't care for her half as much as I care for little Alice. I still wasn't sure about my feelings for her. Maybe I was in love, maybe I wasn't. I needed more time. We would have to take everything slowly for her sake, too and I would have to be gentle and considerate in easing her into things, experimenting what she liked and disliked. So far she had liked everything I had done to her: the kisses and the soft touches. Maybe we could move a bit forward…

We couldn't maintain the contact for too long as it was quite uncomfortable for me to bend down so long to her level. When we pulled apart I smiled at her and she huffed in disappointment at the broken contact.

"Are you feeling better?" I asked whispering.

"Just a little." She pouted. "This was just our first kiss today. You owe me more. Much more…" She complained.

I chuckled at her coyness and I leaned back to the wall and widened my stances so she could kiss me more comfortably. However, this time I took control and I kissed her senseless.

"And how are you feeling now?" I asked in a husky voice.

"Hmm…" She purred in satisfaction.

Our moment was broken by the shrill sound of the bell signaling the end of the lunch period.

I reached for Alice's hand. "Come! You will be late from Spanish!"

"Oh! And how am I supposed to concentrate on Spanish after that?" She asked still sounding breathless. I simply shrugged my shoulders completely unapologetically.

The next weeks had gone by in a similar fashion. I tried to balance school, work and my relationship with Alice. Fortunately, Alice was very understanding about the whole thing, she had never complained or argued about the fact that we couldn't spend as much time together as we wished. I really wanted to take her out for a real date, but it seemed impossible to find an opportunity and I was more and more worked up over the approaching meeting with Mr. Travis' friend. But I promised to myself that after that meeting nothing would stop me from taking Alice out on a special date. Now I only had to figure out what would be special…

Last night I called again Mr. Tomzynski, the art professor of the university, just to finalize everything about our meeting the following day. Through phone he seemed like a nice person. But I was still nervous my whole future depended on it, after all. We had made an appointment for this Sunday. We agreed on a lunch and then if everything goes fine, we will check out the current exhibition at the university.

That Sunday I was up and early and while I waited for grandpa to come downstairs I sipped a huge cup of coffee. Maybe I should cut back on the amount as it made my heart race like crazy. I was drumming my fingers on the table while I stared into the empty space. I heard a distinct chuckle.

"I see you are quite nervous, son." Grandpa commented.

"Of course I am. It is a very important meeting." I stood up and started making his breakfast. He let me do it as he sensed that I need to occupy myself with something.

"I know it is, but you have nothing to worry about. That man had already seen your work and he was impressed hence the meeting. Believe me, it is just formality! Your pictures are as good as exhibited now." He said softly. His confidence in me made wonders to my nerves. And that effect was doubled when I got an encouraging text from Alice.

_Trust me, everything will be fine! You are a real artist. Alice xx_

I set out early to make it safely to Seattle in that weather. We arranged to meet at a restaurant so I parked my bike in the parking lot. I still had half an hour before the meeting so I decided to call grandpa and let him know that I had arrived in one piece. After that I took out my portfolio holder that Alice had given me for Christmas. It was such an amazing and thoughtful gift, and when she had given it to me I was completely floored by her thoughtfulness and generosity. I had felt embarrassed as my gift for her was nothing compared to this. I quickly reread the Bobby Lee quote and it immediately calmed me down. Finally, it was time to face the music!

In the restaurant I walked up to the hostess and greeted her politely.

"Good morning! I have a meeting with Mr. Tomzynski." She stared at me for a while with a strange expression. I had no idea why. It wasn't a fancy restaurant and I was sure my clothes were appropriate as I had let Alice pick them out for me for this occasion. Of course she wasn't very impressed with the limited choices, and immediately suggested a shopping trip…

"Yes. He is already waiting for you." The hostess said a little breathlessly. Whatever had bothered her earlier, it seemed to have passed. She led me to a table where a man, who looked to be in his mid-forties, sat reading a newspaper.

"Mr. Tomzynski, your guest has arrived." She announced and then sashayed away.

Mr. Tomzynski stood up to greet me. He was the same height as me and he wore casual clothes: a pair of dress pants with a plaid vest. "You must be Jasper Whitlock!"

"Yes, sir." I answered politely.

"Oh, just call me Joe. I hate formalities." He said and gestured for me to sit down across from him. At first we engaged in a little small talk to warm up for the important part.

"So Jasper I have a question for you." He stated simply, and then continued. "Are you in any way related to a Helen Jackson Whitlock?"

I gulped nervously. I didn't expect him to bring up my mother. "Yes, she was my mother." I said softly.

"Yes, I thought so. She was a very talented artist and your style is similar to hers. Not to mention you take after her." He said, but fortunately he didn't dwell on this subject for long. But I was intrigued: _how did he know my mother?_ "So Jasper, did you do the additional pictures that I had asked for?" He finally asked.

"Yes." I said and reached for my portfolio to get the pictures. "Here they are." I said handing them over.

"Wow, that's a very nice portfolio holder. Where did you get it?" He asked momentarily forgetting our original subject.

"It was a Christmas gift." He simply nodded and went about checking out my drawings. It took a surprisingly long time.

"Great poses." He commented after a while. "You had a very beautiful model, too." He said with a wink.

"Yes, she is my girlfriend." I said with a smile. It was such a strange feeling, referring to Alice as my girlfriend!

"Oh, lucky you!" He said. "Okay, these pictures are just as impressive as the others were. You are very talented, but I have a few questions." He said letting his last statement hang between us. I was expecting something like this. It was too good to be true.

"Alright, shoot!" I said sounding confident, but inside I was anything but.

"Mr. Travis informed me that you had moved here from Texas and I'm interested in your former art training as I know Forks High School is very lacking in that department." He smiled encouragingly at me. _Fuck!_ I had never had formal training. Was it going to be a problem? Only one way to find out…

"To tell you the truth I had never had formal training." I admitted quietly.

He had been looking at me for long minutes in silence. "Are you telling me that all this" he gestured to my pictures "is from your natural talent?" He sounded incredulous so I simply nodded.

When he still didn't say anything I chanced a question. "Is that a problem?"

He took a deep breath before answering. "Yes and no. It can be a problem if we consider the universities as they prefer accepting people with formal training, and no if we look at your raw talent. However, I can offer a solution if you are interested in pursuing drawing on a professional level…" He trailed off suggestively.

Ever since Mr. Travis initially suggested this meeting I was thinking about this career option more often. It was definitely something that I was interested in pursuing.

"Yes, next year I would like to apply to some universities that offer art programs." It was the first time that I had admitted it to anyone. Alice and I had talked about these kinds of things, but just lightly.

"I'm glad to hear it. University of Seattle is offering great summer courses in art training. If you sign up for them than you can file it away as a formal training and all of the other universities accept it." He explained with a smile.

_Fuck!_ It was such a great opportunity, but I didn't think my savings would be enough for it. True, I had some money in the bank, but I was saving that for the university.

"So how much that course is going to cost?" I asked shyly.

"Don't worry about it! Mr. Travis had mentioned your social background and that's why I wanted to exhibit some of your works. This is an exhibition that introduces the works of talented young artists, just like yourself, and all the items are offered up for sale. I'm positive that your pictures will sell very well covering your costs for the course." He said sounding a little smug. I was in awe. Could this really happen to me? Nothing had ever happened to me remotely as great as this. I could hardy believe it.

"I see that you are surprised." He said smiling. "But trust me, I know talent when I see one. I had known your mother a long time ago, and believe me when I say that I see even more potential in you than in her." He finished seriously.

That peaked my interest. "Do you mind if I ask how did you know my mother?"

"We used to be classmates at the university, and we were friends, too. I was at her funeral, but I guess you were too young to remember me."

"Yeah, I guess." I simply said not wanting to remember what had happened at home after the funeral.

After we finished lunch we continued our casual conversation, and then he showed me the exhibition that he promised. I was in awe of all the exhibited pictures, and I had to admit that the idea of my drawings being introduced among them filled me with a warm and cozy feeling. I had no idea what it was, but it sure felt fucking great! I had never felt anything like that before. I had such a great time that day, but emotionally it was like a rollercoaster. _Thank God I will have a meeting with Dr. Simmons the next day!_ I really need that.

* * *

><p>Thanks for the lovely reviews. Let me know what you think.<p> 


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 20

I was a nervous wreck all Sunday. I was extremely worried about Jasper as he was crazy enough to go to Seattle on that damn motorcycle in this horrible weather. Forks was covered in snow and ice, and it was raining in Seattle. Plus he had an important meeting regarding his future so I had every reason to be worried about him. I carried around my cell all day long in case he called which he finally did around six.

"Hi, Jazz! How are you? Was the weather really awful? How did the meeting go?" I immediately fired questions at him after his greeting. I heard him laugh on the other side of the line.

"Wow, Alice! One question at a time!" He warned me.

"Sorry." I said sheepishly. "I was worried about you because of the weather."

"I told you I'm an excellent driver and I was careful. You shouldn't have worried." He said calmly. And his tone immediately relaxed me, too. _That boy…_

"Alright, tell me about the meeting!" I said when I was assured that he was really fine and nothing bad had happened to him.

"It went great I think, but I prefer to talk about it in person. So I will tell you everything tomorrow. I promise." He said sounding tired. I guess he had a long day.

"Okay, we will talk tomorrow." I said softly.

"If you don't mind I'm going to hang up now, I just wanted to assure you that I got home safe and sound." He said, and I was sure he was smiling.

"Sure, and thanks for the call." After that we said our goodbye.

I was immensely relieved now that I had heard his voice although I was still very curious about that meeting. But I guess it would be better if we talked about it in person. And tomorrow before school we would have plenty of time to discuss it among other things…

However, on Monday morning I waited in vain for Jasper to arrive and he didn't answer his phone. That wasn't like him at all.

"Come, Alice! We need to go to class." Edward gently urged me. "I'm sure Jazz will be here, he just overslept or something." Well, that something part didn't reassure me at all. So in a poor mood I walked to class with Edward and Bella.

Needless to stay my eyes were glued to the door waiting for my Jazzy. Ten minutes after the bell had rung the classroom door was opened by a very ragged looking Jasper. It was clear as day that he had overslept. I heaved a sigh of relieve.

"I'm very sorry for being late, Mrs. Adams." Jasper said politely. I giggled to myself as all Jasper had to do to be forgiven was to flash one of that cute smile of his in her direction.

"Jasper, dear, try to be on time!" She admonished him gently. Jazz simply nodded and went to his seat which was right next to mine. When his back was turned to the teacher he sent a brilliant smile in my direction that left me breathless. _Damn, that boy was sexy!_ In class I should have been concentrating on the topics discussed earlier, but my attention was entirely focused on my sexy boyfriend. He was engrossed in his work as usual so I was free to stare. I immediately noticed that he had a little stubble on his face. _Hmm…_ I had always seen him clean shaved. Not surprisingly he looked just as gorgeous with stubble as without it. So now I wondered if there was a look that he couldn't pull off. By the time the period finished I came to the conclusion that there wasn't.

After the bell rang Jazz came to me.

"Sorry, Alice. I have overslept." He said hurriedly. I smiled at him in return and stroked my hand across his stubble covered chin. I liked the rough touch of it.

"Yeah, I see that." I said. I had a strong urge to grab a fistful of his hair, yank his head down to me and kiss those full lips. _Well, I always have that urge…_ But I resisted as I knew that Jazz preferred privacy. So instead I reached for his hand and intertwined our fingers. We headed out for our next class holding hands.

As I wanted to talk to Jasper about that meeting privately, I arranged for us sit alone at a table during lunch. Edward was very understanding, but Emmett was simply suspicious so I could sense his eyes on me all the time. He was watching our interaction like a hawk.

"So now can you tell me about the meeting?" I asked Jazz eagerly when we settled down.

He smiled. "I was wondering how soon you would bring it up."

"Oh, hush and tell me everything!" I said playfully glaring at him.

"Yes, ma'am!" He drawled sexily. My breath caught at that word. _So sexy!_

"He liked my new pictures just as well as the others, and he had complimented me on my beautiful model." He winked at me, but continued anyway. "But he was very surprised at the fact that I had never had any formal training." He started his tale. Well, I was surprised, too. "And he said that that could cause some problems when I apply to universities."

"What kind of problem?" I asked frowning. He was way too talented to be ignored by those universities, even without training.

"Well, they don't like starting everything from the basics. But that's beside the point as Joe, that's Mr. Tomzynski, offered a solution to my problem." He finished.

"And?" I prompted. "I swear you are so secretive that wild horses couldn't drag it out of you!" I cried in exasperation.

"I'm not sure about that…" He grinned, but quickly continued his story when I glared at him in earnest. "He had said that the University of Seattle offers great summer courses, and I don't have to worry about the costs as the purpose of the exhibition, which he had mentioned, is to support young artists."

I looked at him blankly. "Meaning?"

"Meaning that the pictures exhibited there are for sale. If people buy at least four of my pictures, that would cover the whole cost of an intensive course." He explained slowly.

"That's so great!" I cried enthusiastically. "That's such a fantastic opportunity for you! So you are going to take a summer course in Seattle?"

"If I could sell my pictures." He emphasized.

I huffed at him. "Please! I bet you that people will buy all of your drawings."

"I bet they won't." He challenged me. "So what should be the prize?"

_Oh, God!_ I could ask for anything… After careful consideration I settled for a shopping trip. I didn't want to push him with my perverted fantasies…

"If I win you come with me on a shopping trip and let me buy you a complete outfit of my choice." I said getting excited at the prospect.

"You mean a normal outfit, right? Not something ridiculous." He asked a little shyly.

"Of course. We would go to a designer shop." I would never dress him up to make fun of him. He seemed relieved by this.

"So what do I get if I win?" He asked with a suggestive raise of his eyebrow.

I gulped nervously. "Anything you want." I said without thinking.

"Anything?" He asked with a devastatingly sexy smile. Suddenly, my mouth went dry as all the fluids in my body ran in a very specific direction. _Holy hell!_ I was wet in response to his smile. That had only happened in the privacy of my bedroom after those wonderful dreams, and not in the middle of the cafeteria. I shifted in my seat.

He pretended to think carefully about what he wanted, but fortunately he settled for a very simple thing. "Okay, if I win you cook me some delicious dinner." I laughed in relief.

"Deal!" I cried and we shook hands.

"Now putting that aside, I have a question for you." He started mysteriously. It immediately peaked my interest.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Would you like to go on a date with me Saturday night?" He asked with a soft smile.

I couldn't believe it! Jazzy had asked me out on an official date.

"Of course! Of course!" I cried while bouncing in my seat. _Guh, I should have acted cool and collected!_ It was a moot point, but at least we could laugh at it together.

On a Wednesday afternoon Bella and I were alone, just hanging out in my room. Edward had done the unimaginable and left Bella alone, but I suspected not on his volition. I waited for Bella to gather her courage to talk about whatever she wanted.

"Alice, I need to talk to you." Bella started with a dreamy smile. I immediately knew that it was about my dear brother and I had a suspicion about what exactly she wanted to tell. I had noticed a change in the dynamics of their relationship: they were even more inseparable than before. They were very touchy-feely these days.

"Okay." I returned her smile in encouragement.

She immediately blushed. "So I don't know if… if Edward had told you, but… but we finally did it…" She stuttered out with difficulties. Her cheeks were flaming all the while.

"He didn't tell me in so many words, but I had my suspicion." I informed her. "So how was it?"

Her face took on a dreamy quality. "It was amazing! I had no idea that something can be so intense and meaningful…" She trailed off. I was very happy for both of them.

"Did it hurt really that bad?" I asked her curiously. That was the part I was most worried about. I knew that it hurt for the first time, but I had no idea how much, and that was a subject I didn't want to talk to my mom about. It had been embarrassing enough when she had taken me to a gynecologist to get a prescription for birth control pills, and then she had given me a speech on safe sex. It all had happened one week after that Jasper and I became a couple. _God, she had reacted way too quickly!_ But I guess she had thought that now that I had the boy I loved I would jump him without thinking. _Thanks the trust, Mom! _I thought sarcastically.

"Well, a little, but that only lasted for a minute or so. Then pleasure took over…" She said so openly that I was surprised. Suddenly her eyes widened and she clasped her hand over her mouth realizing that she had said the last part out loud. Needless to say her face was crimson. I burst out laughing at her expression, and soon she joined me.

Saturday was fast approaching and a wonderful nervous and tingling feeling was coursing trough my entire body. It will be my first official date with Jazz, and to my great disappointment he wouldn't tell me where we would go. At any other occasion I would be happily excited about my surprise, but not when it was about a date. I needed to know where we would go so I could dress accordingly. I tried everything to get the information out of him, but nothing worked. _Not even my irresistible pout!_ We were lying on my bed, both of us panting hard after our make out session.

"Jazzy, you have to give me at least a hint." I whined.

"Why?" He asked quite amused at my antics. Huh, boys just didn't understand it…

"Because I need to know how to dress!" I cried exasperated.

He chuckled. "Oh, the problem of dressing…" He trailed off. "Okay, where we are going is kind of a dressy place, but keep in mind that we are going on my bike. That's all the information I can share."

"Well, that didn't help much. It extremely limits my choices…" I said, but I was already thinking about outfits. However, my Jazzy interrupted me in the most pleasant way possible. He leaned toward me and placed soft and gentle kisses along my neck, leading up to my ear where he nibbled on my lobe. I couldn't stifle a moan: it felt fantastic. Then I felt the tip of tongue along my neck and I shuddered in pleasure.

As our relationship moved forward we became more and more comfortable with each other, even with touching. We haven't quite crossed the line of intimate touches yet, but we were heading in right direction. Of course Jasper was bolder and surer of his touches. I was at a disadvantage because of both my inexperience and his issues. I was hesitant in touching him because I didn't know what was okay and what wasn't. I knew that he liked when I ran my hand through his thick hair. _Who was I kidding?_ I liked that, too immensely. And he also let me caress his tattoo on occasion. I was fascinated by the ink on his lower arm, it was so sexy! His kisses and touch always felt wonderful, he knew exactly what to do with his talented hands or tongue. And I wanted to reciprocate in some way, but I had no idea what to do. I made a quick mental note to hang out with Rose sometime soon. Both Bella and I liked to go to her for advice.

Jazz must have felt my uncertainty as he grabbed my hand and placed it on his chest. He leaned back a little letting me experimentally caress his chest and shoulders over his shirt. He shut his eyes in pleasure, at least I hoped it was in pleasure, so I grew a little bolder in my exploration and I lowered my hand to his stomach feeling the strong muscles there, too. _I couldn't wait to see him without his shirt on!_ He felt quite muscular under my hands over his shirt. I happily ran my hands all over the wide planes of his chest, shoulders and arms, but I strictly kept my hands on his torso despite my urge to drop them to his belt buckle.

On Friday afternoon I headed over to Rose's for a little girly chat before her usual date with my brother. Rose's mother opened the door for me and immediately sent me upstairs to her daughter.

"Rose, Alice is here!" She felt the need to call out to the empty house.

I hung out here enough to know my way so I headed to her room. She was waiting for me in the doorway.

"Hey, Alice! Sorry about Mom." She said with an eye roll. Well, Rose's mother was a bit strange. Beautiful, but weird.

We got comfortable on her bed, and first we just caught up on the latest gossip, basically chatted away.

"So what brings you her?" Rose finally asked, and continued with a wink. "Trouble in paradise?"

"No, not really." I replied smiling.

"Then what it is? Is Jazz too shy?" She asked suggestively.

"No, Jazzy is absolutely fine, perfect even. It's me, I'm too shy." I huffed in frustration.

"I don't understand. How can _you_ be shy?" She emphasized.

"Well, I don't have any experience with boys. And when Jasper and I hang out or just fool around I'm very unsure about how to touch him…" I railed off.

"Intimately?" Rose asked quietly.

"Not just intimately. I just want to be a little surer about touching, not always relying on his guidance. I just want to make him feel as good as he does to me." I tried to explain.

"I think I know what you mean. Okay then, listen up…" With that she started her teaching and explanation. I had a very eye-opening experience that afternoon.

So here I was Saturday afternoon standing in my closet searching for the perfect outfit for my date. _Hmm…_ I really needed to go for a shopping trip and soon, there weren't any clothes that I liked. I should have gone before the date! _What a rookie mistake!_ I started examining my tops one by one, but I couldn't find anything suitable. And just when I was about to scream in frustration I came across a forest green long sleeved tunic that had intricate designs on it. I had totally forgotten about buying that! Well, it was a good starting point, Jasper had said dressy. And I just know the perfect shoe for it: I have a matching pair of green high heeled boots. Those with my favorite pair of black skinny jeans would be perfect. _Simple, but sexy!_ I laid the clothes out on my bed, my boots next to it, and I went to the bathroom to take a shower. This time I needed to be ready in time because Emmett had made it a point to be here when Jasper arrived. Jazz had said that he would be here at five to pick me up so I figured we would leave Forks.

After my long shower I started putting on my clothes. With this tunic I needed a push-up bra to give me a nice cleavage. Everything looked just as fine as I thought. So I went back to the bathroom to apply my makeup. I knew that Jasper didn't particularly like makeup so I decided to keep it light and natural, only enhancing my natural beauty. With my warm purple colored eyeliner I made a light smoky eye effect and I used black mascara. It made my eyes look big and the emerald color was vibrant. I brushed on just a touch of pink blusher and a very little pink lipstick. It all looked perfect and natural. And finally I topped the whole outfit off with a pair of black hoop earrings which looked great with my short black hair.

I looked at my watch: I had 5 minutes till my Jazzy arrived. _Perfect!_ I grabbed my purse and headed to the living room. To my dismay everybody was there except for Edward. He had gone over to Bella's earlier as Charlie had spent the entire weekend at a fishing trip. I wondered what they were doing… So this meant that I was the only virgin left in our group, but I didn't mind it because Jasper and I were heading in that direction albeit slowly.

To my dismay Emmett was also lounging in the living room. I asked Rose's help in distracting Emmett while we go out, but it seemed that the first time ever Rose was unable to stray him. I frowned at her, and she gave me an apologetic look. _Shit! This is going to be a cluster-fuck!_ The doorbell rung at exactly five p.m., I had to smile at Jazz's punctuality. I was about to rush to the door when a hand gently restrained me.

I looked into the soft blue eyes of my father. "Allow me!"

I simply nodded. _Great!_ It was my first date and Dad felt the urge to protect his little girl. Well, at least it was him and not Emmett who was sitting across from me with a wide grin plastered on his face. I sighed deeply; I hope that my family's sudden crazy behavior wouldn't scare Jazzy away. I grew exceedingly worried when minutes had passed and Jasper and my dad still hadn't returned. But when they did, I sucked in a quick breath at the sigh of Jazz. He was wearing a pair of black jeans, black button down shirt with the top buttons undone, and a grey vest on top. He was holding his jacket in his hands. My eyes widened when I saw that he was wearing a pair of cowboy boots. _Damn, that boy looked shit hot sexy!_ He hadn't noticed me yet as he was talking to Dad, but when he finally did a sexy crooked smiled flashed across his features and his eyes sparkled. _He looked magnificent!_ We looked deeply into each other's eyes, that was our thing, a private way of greeting each other instead of smooching in front of other people.

"Hello, Alice!" He greeted me and held out a red rose for me to take that I hadn't noticed in my stupor. "You are very beautiful!" I smiled softly at this sweet gesture and his compliment.

"Thank you! We can go in a minute, I just need to find a vase for it." I told him already dreading the thought of leaving him alone with Emmett. He simply nodded. I tried to be quick with the vase, but when I returned to the living room Jazz was sitting next to Emmett who was taking very intently. I cringed at this.

"All set, we can go!" I announced.

Emmett let us go with a last warning look at Jasper. Jasper and I walked to his bike holding hands. In his calming presence I forgot everything about my annoying brother and I could focus on the date ahead of me. My excitement grew, especially at the thought that I was going to ride on his bike. _Yay_! When we reached his bike he held out a helmet for me. I looked at it quizzically.

He chuckled. "You have to put it on, Alice!"

"You are kidding, right!" I said. I didn't spend so much time to make my hair look this way, and then go and ruin it with a helmet.

"Sorry, but it could save your life!" He said and then quickly leaned down to swiftly kiss me. I was still under the influence of his soft lips when I felt the helmet on my head. I narrowed my eyes at him through the helmet's shield. _That sneaky little bastard had tricked me!_ He sent me a devilish smile, and then he put his own helmet on and hopped on his bike. He turned back to me and indicated with his hand that I should sit, too. I gingerly walked up to him and carefully sat down behind him. I put my hands lightly on his hips, but then I heard his chuckle muffled by the helmet. He grabbed both my arms and wounded them around his torso. When he kick started the engine, gripped the throttle and made the bike snarl and roar, I hugged him so tight that I was afraid of cracking his ribs. It was my first experience on a bike and I was shit scared. He kicked up the stand and moved the bike forward out of our driveway. At first the only thing I could concentrate on was my death grip on his torso as I buried my face into his back. But with time I could relax and concentrate on the freedom it gave, too. Of course my perverted brain took pleasure in the fact that in this position Jasper was effectively between my legs.

We swiftly headed along the way to Port Angeles, and by the time we arrived I was capable of concentrating on other thing than my clinging to Jazz. Well, except when he took turns. Jasper pulled the bike up to a small parking lot and turned the engine off.

"You still with me back there?" Jazz asked quite amused. I had to smile, too as I hopped off that thing and quickly removed the helmet. _Finally, freedom!_ I frantically tried to fix my hair.

"There is a restroom in there when you can fix everything up." Jasper whispered to me indicating the building next to us with his head. _Damn!_ I was too preoccupied with my hair to watch the sexy sight of Jazz taking the helmet off and shaking his hair. But now my attention was entirely focused on the place where we were. 'Lucid Jazz Lounge' a neon sign said.

I cocked an inquiring eyebrow at him. "Come on!" He said grabbing my hand. However, we weren't going toward the front entrance of the place rather to the back.

"I know a guy here who could sneak us in." He explained which made perfect sense as both of us was underage to get in a club. Although I think Jasper could pass as a little older. In front of the back entrance a guy in his twenties was waiting for us.

"Jasper, man, you made it!" He cried then they shook hands like guys usually do.

Jazz turned to me. "Alice, this is Rick. And Rick, this is my girlfriend Alice." He quickly introduced us and we also shook hands, but I was too occupied by the fact that he introduced me as his girlfriend. I mean I knew I was, but still it gave me a thrill.

Rick led us in through a dark corridor, but I could hear the soft jazz music even in here. As we arrived I tried to take everything in at once. It was a small cozy looking place. There was a stage where a band was playing live jazz music, in front of it was a little dance floor and private tables for two with candle light. The whole place was so nice and romantic! We went up to a table, but before I could sit I heard Jazz whisper.

"The restroom is in that direction if you still need it." He gently nodded his head to the right.

"Oh, right. I will be back in a minute." I hurriedly went away to check my appearance. I didn't look too horrible: I only needed to brush through my hair. When I went back I noticed that most of the people here were in their twenties. They must be college students. I also noticed that most of the girls were staring in one specific direction and that wasn't the band. I peered a little to see what they were looking at: my Jazzy. _Huh, that boy was really a God!_ Ever since we became a couple I was working on my insane jealousy. I realized that I had no reason to worry as Jazz was really only interested in me. I finally started to feel secure in my place with him. So I walked back to him with a huge smile.

"Everything alright?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Perfect." I assured him, and place a soft kiss on his lips before sitting down. "How do you know this place?" I asked curiously.

"Rick used to work in the Diner when I started there. He saw my tattoo and we kind of bonded over that as he has many. I showed him some tattoo designs that I sketched and one of his friends bought them for his tattoo saloon. And since he works here he had already sneaked me in a couple of times. And I knew you enjoy jazz music so I though you would appreciate the place." He explained.

"I really do." I told him and covered his hand with mine.

We had spent an hour or so with just talking with the occasional caress and kiss. I had such a great time! I watched in fascination as Jasper suddenly stood up and held his hand out for me.

"May I have this dance, ma'am?" He drawled, and almost swooned at his sexy accent.

"Sure." I giggled and accepted his hand.

We had spent the rest of the night dancing. It was the most magical night of my life, and when I thought that it couldn't get any better my Jazzy went about and proved me wrong. During dancing he snaked his arms around my waist and hugged me closer to him. He leaned closer to my ear.

"I love you." He whispered huskily.

* * *

><p>Reviews are always appreciated. Thanks!<p> 


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

**Warning: adult themes ahead.**

Chapter 21

I immediately froze on the dance floor and Jasper stopped moving, too. I leaned back slightly to be able to examine his face. I could hardly believe that I heard him correctly. But his expression was soft, warm and most of all genuine. He had truly meant it!

"I love you, too." I whispered back with a soft smile.

"I know." He simply stated, and we resumed our dancing.

Later that night I was lying awake in my bed reflecting back on my wonderful date with Jazzy. My head was still reeling with the knowledge that Jasper loved me. Finally, he had said those three little words. And when we said goodbye he kissed me so softly, reverentially and tenderly that I thought I was going to melt. He had let me know with that kiss that he really and truly loved me. I guess I can safely say that I was the happiest person on the planet! My Jazzy loved me. I drifted off to sleep happily knowing that I no longer needed dreams to smooth my soul, Jasper was better than any dream can be!

January slowly turned into February, and Valentine's Day was fast approaching. It would be my first Valentine's Day with a boyfriend. I wondered if Jasper had any specific plans for the day or if he even knew what day was coming. He really wasn't the type of showing open affection. We were a very private couple, and that just suited me fine, too. We had never engaged in public displays of affection or said I love you all the time. It was enough for us to just look into each other's eyes to convey our feelings. It was very private and very deep and meaningful. I adored seeing my love reflected back to me in those impossibly blue eyes. When he looked at me with love in his eyes I felt stronger than ever like I could handle anything in the whole world. He made me utterly happy. And I knew that I made him happy, too his grandfather assured me of that. I still could remember his words.

_Jasper and I was heading over to his place. We hung out there, too, but mostly we preferred my room. But today he had invited me over for dinner. When we arrived I wasn't surprised that his grandfather was sitting in front of the TV, eyes glued to the screen. I giggled lightly, Mr. Jackson was so predictable. Jasper immediately went on to finish dinner, and I joined his grandfather. He was watching some kind of quiz show, but we started talking anyway. When there was a lull in our conversation he looked deeply in my eyes and said._

"_Thank you." His voice was very sincere. _

_I blinked in surprise. "For what?"_

"_You brought my grandson back to life." He said softly. And I saw moisture shining in his eyes. "I knew you would be good for him. You make him happy." He shifted closer and hugged me tightly._

"_You don't have to thank me. I didn't do anything, I just love him very much." I whispered, touched by his words._

"_That's more than enough." _

I giggled at this memory because later that night those infamous photos about a young Jasper were brought up. I enjoyed watching them quite immensely while his grandfather told me more stories. My Jazzy couldn't do much than grin and bear it. Not surprisingly Jasper was a very cute little boy. My favorite photo showed Jasper on his first fishing trip with his mother. A little version of Jazzy stood in the middle of the picture proudly showing the camera the big fish he had just caught. He was wearing shorts and a T-shirt with an adorable little hat on his head, and he was grinning like a fool. _He was so cute!_

Unfortunately, Valentine's Day was on Wednesday which meant that Jasper was working. I knew it was wrong, but I felt disappointed that even though I had a boyfriend I was going to spend Valentine's Day alone. It didn't help matters that at school everybody was all loved up and exchanged those awful red and pink cards, and my Jazzy didn't mention anything about the day. Well, technically he did. We were in the cafeteria, which that day was like couples' paradise, where everybody exchanged gifts.

"That's ridiculous!" Jasper said with disdain.

"What?" I asked, but I had an idea what he had meant.

"Do they really think that those shitty cards mean I love you? I mean those things have to be the ugliest things in the world both in appearance and in meaning." He said with a disapproving head shake.

I didn't know what to say to that. Of course I had a card for him in my bag, and although it wasn't pink or red there was no chance that I was going to give that to him after that little speech. "I guess you are not a fan of Valentine's Day?" I tried to keep the hurt out of my voice.

"I'm sorry, but I think it's a stupid holiday. And now I have to work extra long in the Diner because of it." He said.

"Oh, I didn't know that." I immediately put aside my hurt feelings, and looked at him in concern. I lightly touched the fading circles under his eyes. He wasn't sleeping well lately. He didn't tell me the reason, but I guess it was because of moving forward in his therapy.

So I thought that Valentine's Day was going to pass as any other day, but in the evening I was at home only with my mom. Dad had to work so she was alone, too, but Dad promised her a fantastic date for Saturday. And my brothers were out with their girlfriends, of course. Edward took this opportunity very seriously, and prepared a super romantic evening for Bella. _When will that boy learn that with Bella the less is more!_ Mom and I were watching a really awful romantic comedy in the TV when we heard the doorbell ring.

"I get it!" Mom quickly stood up.

"Anything to get out of watching this movie?" I questioned her with a smile.

Mom nodded and went to answer the door. Soon she came back with a beautiful rose bouquet in her hand. _Dad was such a romantic_, I thought fondly.

"These are for you, honey!" Mom cried excitedly.

"For me?" I asked incredulously. It couldn't be from Jasper, could it?

"Yes!" Mom cried. "Come on! There's a card, too, open it!"

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw my name on the card. The roses were beautiful, and I noticed that there were eleven red roses and one white. Hmm… interesting. I quickly opened the card and it read:

_"In every bunch there's one who stands out and you are that one."_ _Love, your Jazzy_

My eyes filled with tears at this romantic gesture. And I know that this wasn't any afterthought gift, like compensation when he noticed that I liked this holiday. No, it was an all thought out gift even though he resented this. I couldn't wait for it to be nine so I could call Jazzy and thank him.

"Oh, Jazzy thank you so much for the roses!" I immediately said when he answered his phone.

"You are very welcome. So you liked them?" He asked softly.

"Of course! They are very beautiful. But you shouldn't have given me anything. I know you don't like it." I told him equally softly.

"That's true, but I know that you do." I was sure he smiled when he said that.

It was official: my boyfriend was the sweetest guy on the planet.

In the following months I had so many first experiences with Jasper that I couldn't be happier. For the first time in my life I experienced the ups and downs of a blossoming relationship. We were truly in a relationship, and he became the center of my world. We tried to spend as much time together as possible, but it was difficult with his busy working schedule, but at least at school I saw him every day. We moved forward in a slow, but steady pace, and it suited me just fine. I knew that we loved each other very much, but I still didn't feel ready to take that last step. Of course my Jazzy was very understanding, never pressuring me, but this didn't mean that we weren't experimenting with other stuff. We were touching quite a bit, but hey, we were just taking his assignment very seriously! I was allowed to touch his fine packs under his shirt, but I still didn't see him without it. He seemed shy about that, but he definitely wasn't shy about removing my top. First I was a bit worried about it as I wasn't very well-endowed in that department, but he seemed to like me just as I was. He always made me feel beautiful and confident. My favorite memory so far was the time when I first felt his desire against me. Admittedly I was slightly shocked, but it quickly turned into pleasure feeling his hardness pressing to me, the feeling that he wanted me was heady. I quite enjoyed the physical part of our relationship, too. And as I got to know him better, I became better at reading his expressions and moods as well. _My Jazzy was a very complicated soul!_ He could be playful, tender, teasing and sober when he needed to be with the occasional depressive spiral. Unfortunately, he was prone to depression now and then, especially after his sessions with his psychologist. He wasn't open about that any more; he simply said that they were actively working on his past. I had never pressured him, I knew that he needed time and space to deal with those demons on his own time and pace.

And of course not all of these new first experiences were good. We also had our first sort of argument when the topic of past relationships came up. I was very curious about that, but I was conflicted, too. On the one hand it was great that he had experiment, but on the other I was curious about whom he learnt all this stuff. I was thinking about this, slowly driving myself crazy when Jasper interrupted me.

"Hey, where did you go?" He asked from his spot on my sofa. I was sitting at my desk because originally I wanted to show him a funny clip that I had found on youtube.

"Nowhere. I just can't find that clip!" I said trying to sound exasperated.

Jazz stood up and slowly walked up to my seat. I had to crane my neck to look at him from my position so he crouched down to my level.

"I don't believe you. Something is on your mind." He commented simply. "I know you, something is bothering you. Can't you tell me what it is?"

I sighed: now or never. "I'm afraid of saying it…"

"Why?" He frowned at me.

"Because I'm afraid of your reaction." I saw as concern washed across his face so I quickly added. "It's nothing bad."

"Then tell me!" He encouraged me.

"I was thinking about past relationships." I sighed.

"Oh." He simply said. I could tell he wasn't expecting that. "And which one of your old boyfriends were you thinking of?" He asked me sounding hurt.

I blinked at him in surprise. "What?" I managed to stutter out. "I don't… I mean…" I took a deep breath. "You are my first boyfriend, Jasper."

I studied his face, and he looked surprised. It was my turn to frown: it was quite obvious that I had no experience. So what the hell was that about?

"How is that possible?" He asked me after a couple of minutes of silence. "I mean you are a very beautiful girl, I'm sure you weren't lacking in offers."

"I wasn't." I admitted quietly. "But I had never met anyone whom I wanted until I met you." He gently cupped my face and kissed me.

"I feel very honored." He said sincerely. It didn't escape my notice that he wasn't volunteering information about his past relationships. That couldn't be good.

"What about you?" I asked in a barely audible whisper.

"Do we have to talk about it?" He asked frustrated. I really didn't want to push him, but I knew if we left this conversation open, I would drive myself crazy with assumptions.

"Yes, please." I said in a broken tone.

I heard him sigh deeply, and I looked into his eyes the first time since we started this horrible conversation. He looked sad and resigned.

"Come! Sit with me on the couch." He said softly. I obeyed, and we sat down.

At first we just sat there in silence. He broke it first. "When I was growing up I didn't have friends for obvious reasons." He started to explain. "But there was a girl who lived only one street down from us. Her name was Maria. Soon we discovered that we were in the same boat, she had similar issues with her stepfather so we bonded over shared experiences. When we were 14 our friendship had changed, I guess you could say we became a couple." He stopped talking.

"Did you love her?" I asked hesitantly not sure if it was okay to ask.

"No, at least not in the sense you mean. We weren't in love or anything, it was sort of like a friends with benefits kind of relationship. It's hard to explain…" He ran a hand through his hair. "Basically we used each other's bodies to feel good and to escape reality."

The silence hung heavily between us. "So what had happened?" I asked.

"Toward the end we grew apart. She started hanging out with junkies, but I wasn't really into that. Then my grandpa showed up…" He trailed off. I was shocked. Did that mean that he used drugs? He understood the question in my eyes.

"Yes, I tried it, but it never worked for me." He admitted quietly. I suddenly realized that Jasper and I had a very different life. I was so sorry that he had such a hard life so young. But he misinterpreted my silence. "Are you completely disgusted with me now?" He inquired softly.

"What?" I asked with wide eyes. "No, of course not. It's just a lot to take in. But I love you very much." I assured him.

He hugged me tightly and whispered a thank you.

One Saturday afternoon we were fooling around in Jasper's room. We were alone at his house as his grandfather was an avid fisherman and as soon as the weather permitted he went out with his friend or Charlie even. We were engaged in a heavy make out session when I snaked my hand under his shirt. It was something I did quite frequently and I desperately wanted to see his bare chest. I pulled away breathing hard.

"Jazzy, please!" I panted, and lifted his shirt a bit indicating that I wanted it off.

He looked deep in my eyes searching for something, and then he pulled back a little. I sighed as I had thought that he was putting a stop to our activity. However, he pulled back only to remove that offending piece of material. Jazzy laid back on his bed while I stayed sitting my eyes feasting on the fine masculine display in front of me. _He was beautiful!_ His skin was slightly tanned, not pale like others in Forks. His chest and stomach was toned and muscular with a defined six-pack. His arms were equally solid and defined. I knew that he wasn't working out or anything still his body looked liked an Adonis. I guess working as a waiter and riding that bike helped in keeping his body so fit. However, there was a small thing that ruined his perfection: on his abdomen there was a big T-shaped incision. I slowly reached out and ran a finger along the scar. I looked back at him to check his reaction. He was looking at me with uncertainty in his blue eyes, he was examining my face.

"Jazzy?" I asked quietly. I had known about his scars on his arms, but not about this.

"Do you remember? When I told you about my past I mentioned that I had a surgery because I had internal bleeding. The scar is this big because they had to remove my spleen as well." He explained in a small voice. The uncertainty never left his eyes. I knew he was very self-conscious about his scars, and I wanted to reassure him. I leaned down and placed a soft kiss in the middle of his scar. I heard him suck in a quick breath.

"You are still beautiful!" I told him confidently. He frowned at my statement, and then suddenly a wicked glint appeared in his eyes. He grabbed my waist, pulled me down on the bed, flicked me over and hovered above me. I squealed in surprise.

"You are the beautiful one!" He said then silenced my giggles with a searing kiss. Then before I could react, swiftly as a panther he removed my shirt, too. I laid under him only in my bright pink bra.

"Hmm… Beautiful." He hummed and kissed me again. I fisted my hands in his silky hair urging him closer when I felt his hands covering my breast. He cupped them gently while massaging my nipples with his thumb. An embarrassing moan escaped my lips. He moved his lips along my chin to my neck where he softly kissed and sucked. The pleasure that he created with his ministrations was mind-blowing. I had never felt better in my entire life! And I started my own exploration: I let go of his hair and ran my hands along his neck to his back where I lightly ran my hands up and down along his spine. He arched his back in reaction and a delicious groan left those incredible lips. I was pleased with myself at this audible proof of his pleasure which only increased when I felt his hardness pressing to my core. It wasn't the first time I felt it, but it never stopped thrilling me. I desperately pressed against him feeling tension coiling in my belly. I didn't know what it meant or how to smooth it, but I knew that Jazzy would know.

He pulled back from my throat and searched my face. I could only imagine how I looked, but it didn't seem to faze him. He knew what I needed. He caressed my left breast with one of his hands while the other ran along my stomach toward my jeans. I shivered in reaction when I felt him undo my button and unzipping my pants. A new wave of wetness gathered in my panties, and in the back of my mind I was a bit worried about his reaction to it. But I didn't have time to dwell on it as I felt his hand cup me through my underwear. The pleasure was immense!

"Please!" I whispered, but I had no idea what I was pleading for. Fortunately, my Jazzy didn't have the same problem as suddenly he kissed me hard, and then I felt his fingers searching my completely naked sex.

"Fuck!" I dimly heard him say. I mentally congratulated myself for going to that spa yesterday. But my attention was turned back to his fingers when I felt his thumb teasing my clit. He pushed his hand lower, and one of his fingers entered me very gently. I threw my head back at the exquisite sensation and shifted underneath him, silently begging for more. He immediately understood my signal as he increased his rubbing back and forth, the motion becoming easier as I adjusted and became more wet for him so he added another finger to the first. The tension in my belly increased impossibly as he continued stroking, twisting and curling his fingers in a steady pace. The sensations that ran through my body at his expert ministration were so intense and foreign at the same time that I could hardy think or do anything, but it seemed that I was searching for something. But for what? I had no idea until I heard his soft encouraging.

"That's it, darling!" he whispered. "Let it go! You are coming!"

That was all I needed: I cried out when shocking convulsions rocked my entire body, and I dag my nails into his sheets at my sides. Intense pleasure coursed through me that eventually left me limp and sated. When finally I came down from my high I was able to focus on his gorgeous face. He laid back next to me supporting his head on his bent elbow. The expression on his face was soft and tender, and he quickly pecked my lips.

"Wow!" It was the only thing I was capable of uttering. I had just had my first orgasm. Give me a break! I had no idea that something could feel so good and pleasurable. I moved to cuddle up to him, and that was when I felt it again, the bulge in his pants. I hesitated, I knew I should reciprocate, but I had no idea how. I mean, yes, Rose gave me some pointers and stuff, but faced with the reality I wasn't sure how to go about it. However, my sweet Jazzy sensed my hesitation and we simply lay holding each other. As I said, he never pressured me.

A week after it had happened I still felt a little guilty that I was so ready to accept pleasure from him, but I was uncertain about returning it. _I had to get a grip on myself!_ One afternoon we were hanging out in my room listening to some music. I was sitting on my bed while Jazz laid on it with his head in my lap. His eyes were closed while I lightly caressed every feature of his gorgeous face. Occasionally he hummed his approval and I thought it would be a perfect time to make him feel good. We were alone at my house which was a rare occurrence. Dad was working, and Mom was out to organize his surprise birthday party that we hosted on Friday. And my brothers were out with their girlfriends. Rose was a very helpful alliance in diverting Emmett's attention away from us. She knew that I wanted to be alone with my Jazzy so she always came up with something to distract my overprotective brother. Both Jasper and his grandfather were invited to the party, but Jazz could only come after his shift in the Diner. I was excited about it because this would be the first party that we go to together as a couple.

"You are excited." I heard Jazz comment, effectively cutting off my thoughts. He was excellent at reading my emotions or he was simply very attuned to me. I looked back at his face only to have those fathomless eyes stare back at me.

"I was thinking about my dad's birthday party." I answered.

"And were you thinking about a shopping trip to get him a gift?" He asked with a teasing smile. _God, my boyfriend was so gorgeous!_

"No." I giggled. "Actually, I have already got him something."

"Hmm… Really? What?" He inquired lazily shutting his eyes.

"Nah, I can't tell you." I said with a smile. I wanted to tease him a little.

He opened one eye to peer at me. I smiled sweetly and innocently back at him. He chuckled deep in his throat and quickly sat up, grabbed me and we fell back on my bed laughing.

"I see that I have to coax it out of you." He said with a playful expression on his face. I giggled in response.

"No giggling!" He warned me. "It's serious!"

He started caressing my face just like I did to him earlier. He started slowly and sensually rubbing my lower lip with his thumb. I realized that I had to put a stop to it or I would end up being the selfish one again. Then a brilliant idea occurred to me!

"I offer you a deal!" I breathed out when he started caressing my throat.

His fingers instantly stilled. "What kind of a deal?"

"I'll tell you about the gift under one condition…" I trailed off deliberately letting it hang in the air. It worked.

"And what is that condition?" He asked, interested.

Instead of answering I pushed his chest back on the bed so he lay on his back. He immediately understood my intension and gave me a devastatingly sexy smile letting me know that I have a free rein. I sat up and moved to straddle his waist always making sure that my actions were alright with him. So far he seemed pleased so I quickly leaned down to kiss him with all I had. It was a hard and needy kiss: I wanted to explore his mouth and get a sample of his exquisite taste. Meanwhile, I moved my hands along his ribs under his shirt, and then I started to move it over his shoulders. I only stopped kissing him to remove his shirt completely. I moved back on his tights just to be able to drink all his perfection in. He smiled and then reached for the hem of my shirt to take it off. I let him because I wanted it to be about all what he wanted. I started caressing his muscular arms, shoulders and chest with both of my hands, but that wasn't enough. I wanted to taste his skin. So I leaned down and placed a kiss on his chest where his heart was beating frantically. He let out a low groan, and his reaction spurred me on. For many minutes I licked and kissed the defined and toned planes of his chest and abdomen. However, when I moved to unbuckle his pants his hand shot out lightening fast to stop me.

I stopped to look at him. "Please, let me!" I implored him softly.

"Are you sure, Alice?" He asked studying my face.

"I have never been surer about anything." I said letting him see the sincerity in my eyes.

"Only do what you are comfortable with." He said, but moved his hands away from mine.

I knew I had to be sure and confident in my action, because he would stop me at the first sign of hesitation. _He was too considerate for his own good!_ So with steady hands I unbuckled his belt, undid his button and unzipped his fly. I didn't dare remove his jeans completely so I just made room in his pants for my hand. And I got my long awaited answer: Jasper wears boxer briefs. I reached out and gently stroked his bulge while watching in fascination as his stomach fluttered unsteadily with his excited breaths. It boosted my confidence: he liked what I was doing. So in a quick motion my hand was under his boxer briefs touching him directly. He sucked in a breath, and then hissed through his teeth. I looked at him thinking that I went too far, but his eyes were closed and his face contorted in pleasure. _Well, I hoped to God it was pleasure!_ I focused on his member in my hand: it was warm and hard in my palm, yet his skin was incredibly soft there. At first I only ran a finger along his shaft in experiment, and I noted with happiness that he was quite big. _Lucky me!_ I closed my fist around him, just below the head, and then brought my other hand around to cover what my first couldn't. I caressed him slowly listening to his grunts and pants, learning what he liked. I licked my palms to make my movement easier, and then tightened my grip on him and started to move my hands faster. His breathing became labored and he started thrusting against my hands.

"Um… I'm close!" He called out in warning.

I watched with rapt interest as he became harder and harder till finally he came in long convulsive waves panting and moaning. I was quite pleased with myself! I crawled up to him and snuggled in the crook of his arm. He squeezed me tightly to himself.

"Thank you." He whispered and placed a tender kiss to my temple.

"You are very welcome!" I whispered back.

We were lying there softly touching and caressing each other when I heard him chuckle. I looked at him questioningly.

"You never did tell me what you got to your father." He said in amusement.

Well, that was the last thing on my mind after that…

"I got him a very nice sweater with a matching shirt." I answered. His deep chuckle turned into full blown laughter. I looked at him adoringly. It seemed that my Jazzy was finally happy. This carefree and laughing Jasper was so much different from the closed off and quiet Jasper I had first met. He changed a lot, and I was very happy that I had a little hand it that.

* * *

><p>I can't take credit for the rose idea as I read that once on the internet.<p>

So what do you think? Should I continue?


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

**Warning: adult themes ahead.**

Chapter 22

In my Jasper-free time I helped Mom with all the preparation that was needed for Dad's surprise party. I helped her with the arrangements, guest invitations and keeping the whole thing a secret from Dad. Mom invited most of their friends and Dad's colleagues so it was rather an adult party really, but we also had to make an appearance. But we were allowed to skip most of the party; there were only two compulsory momentums: greeting Dad, and watching him blow all the candles on his cake. That gave us enough time to hang out, just the six of us. Nowadays everybody was too busy with their significant other, and we didn't spend any time together as a group of friends any more. Except at lunch period in school, but that hardy counted. So I informed my brothers that they shouldn't make plans for sneaking out because we would hang out in the basement together.

The party was on Friday, and by the time we arrived home from school the whole house was in an uproar and full of people: the catering staff was there to arrange the final details. I spotted Mom in the middle of all the hustle speaking with wild gestures to some woman. I hurried over to her when I saw the woman leave.

"Everything is alright, Mom?" I asked.

"Yes, honey. I'm just nervous because I want everything to be perfect." Mom said with a deep sigh.

"Everything will be perfect. Trust me!" I said confidently. Mom was an excellent planner, and her taste was amazing. Nothing could go wrong. "Can I help you with anything?"

"No, but thanks." She said smiling, and then added. "Well, you could keep an eye on Emmett for tonight, you know, keep him out of mischief."

"But I'm only one, small person!" I cried in mock shock.

Mom giggled. "I know that's why I warned Edward, too."

"Besides, Rose will be here, too, and she can keep him straight." I added to give Mom a peace of mind.

"Oh, you are right. That girl is a Godsend!" Mom gave a huge smile at this realization. And I giggled at her relieved expression.

After that I didn't have much time to get ready, but fortunately I had a feeling this would happen so I prepared my outfit the day before. I just needed a shower before putting that on. I chose to wear a halter dress that had purple, light blue and pink pattern on it, and it reached just below my knees. The weather was getting better so I could easily wear a dress. After my shower I put on some sexy lingerie on the off chance that Jasper and I could spend some time alone together. As I skimmed through my lingerie drawer I made a mental note to go on a shopping trip with the girls. I needed new things with my Jazzy in mind. Again I used a minimal amount of makeup, and put on a pair of purple chandelier earrings that had pretty purple stones in them. I was ready with plenty of time left because I was waiting for Bella to come over. _That girl needed serious help!_

Suddenly there was a knock on my door. Perfect, just in time.

"Come in, Bella!" I called out.

A very surprised Bella walked into my room with her dress draped over her arm. "How did you know it was me?" She asked incredulously.

"I'm a psychic." I joked. "Is that the dress that I asked for?" I asked indicating the clothes in her hand.

"Yes, Alice, but…" She started with a frown.

I didn't let her finish. "We have been over this countless times. Trust me!" I said a little frustrated with her reluctance. Why couldn't she see how gorgeous she was!

I carefully chose the perfect outfit for her, and this time I even took in consideration what she was comfortable with. Well, I forced her into a dress, but it was quite modest with its length and simple cleavage, plus it was in a very nice shade of blue. She really didn't have any reason to be difficult. I ordered her to my bathroom to get dressed, and then I made her hair into soft curls and put on a natural makeup. But our momentary peace was shuddered by my choice of shoes.

"You can't be serious, Alice!" Bella cried in utter horror. I admit it had a little higher heels that she was used to, but it suited her outfit perfectly.

"Why? It's the perfect shoe." I tried to reason with her.

"Those are real death traps. I could die in them!" She continued her dramatics. _Wait a minute, I had a brilliant idea!_ I went over to my door and opened it.

"Oh, Edward!" I called out. I knew that one glance at the shoe and he would drool all over Bella. I needed his help.

"Alice!" Bella cried. "How could you!"

"Easily." I answered with a shrug.

In record time Edward was in my room.

"What's the matter?" He asked worriedly. "Everything is alright?" He asked Bella in a tone that suggested he suspected me of torturing his beloved. I huffed in annoyance.

"I just wanted your opinion on Bella's shoes." I said.

"Shoes?" He asked frowning in confusion.

"What do you think of these?" I asked, and held out the shoes in question. His eyes immediately darkened and they were focused on Bella. Or rather on Bella's feet. Bella sighed in defeat, and put the shoes on.

"My job here is done!" I cried in triumph.

In the meantime, Rose arrived, too. She looked as gorgeous as ever in her apple green one shoulder dress that reached to the middle of her tights. Needless to say Emmett drooled.

"Try to focus, Emmett!" I stage whispered to him. He was quite frustrated with me this afternoon so maybe it wasn't the smartest thing to say. I was harassing him about his clothes, his behavior and his ever present hunger.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Ali!" He cried out in exasperation. "When will Jazz arrive?"

I looked at him in complete puzzlement. "After eight. Why?"

"Because with him present, you will forget that I even exist!" He said wiggling his eyebrows. That earned him a punch to his arm.

"Ouch, that hurt you little pixie on steroids!" He whined, and then went over to Rose to complain about me. But I wasn't paying attention because I saw that Mr. Jackson had arrived, and I hurried over to greet him.

"Hello, Mr. Jackson!" I smiled brightly at him.

"Well, hello, Miss Alice!" He returned my smile. "It's a very nice party!"

"Yes, it is, but the prominent guest is still missing. Dad called that he was running late." I explained.

"Well, that happens. Jasper isn't here yet, right?" He asked.

"No, but he should be here soon." I said dreamily, already getting excited at the fact that he would be here soon, within arms length and I could grab him and smooch him… _Gah, I was a horny mess who missed her boyfriend terribly!_ Even though I saw him only a couple of hours ago, but I was greedy, always wanting more.

"Oh, that boy!" Mr. Jackson sighed with a head shake. "He works too much."

"I know." I said completely agreeing.

"Maybe you could say something about it to him." He suggested.

"I don't think Jazz would listen to me. He is entirely too stubborn for his own good!" I said cheerfully thinking about that adorable boy.

"Yes, he gets that from his father." Mr. Jackson said in a solemn tone.

"Really?" I asked, my curiosity peaked. I didn't really know anything about Jasper's father, only that he was a useless bastard.

"Yes, he doesn't take after him in appearance, but there are some things in which they are similar." He explained, and then added for my benefit. "His love for books, for example, or his charismatic presence. That man wasn't always a monster."

The serious moment was broken by Mom's excited cries. "He's coming! He's coming!"

So everybody kept quiet and we were waiting in the living room. I was sure that Dad had already figured out that he would have a birthday party this evening, but I also knew that he would act surprised for Mom's sake. When he walked into the room everybody shouted surprise and the party was in a full swing. I tried to busy myself with chatting with people, but I couldn't help checking the clock or watching the door. Finally, I heard the doorbell rang and sprinted across the room to get it. I wanted a private moment with my boyfriend.

I swung the door open, and there he stood in all his glory. He was wearing his leather jacket, jeans and that sexy pair of cowboy boots. I didn't give him any time to do or say something, and jumped into his arms my lips attacking his. He stumbled backwards from the force of my body, but he caught me just like I knew he always would. I pressed my seeking mouth to his, my tongue pushing and sliding, my hands fisting in his wild, blond hair. He grunted in surprise, whether from my unexpected attack or my tongue down his throat, I didn't know, but sure as hell I didn't care. _I missed those heavenly lips!_

"God, I missed you!" I said after pulling away slightly.

"I'll say." He said in a good humor. "What a great way to be greeted by such a beauty!" He complimented me.

After that we went inside, and Jasper wished happy birthday to my father, chatted with his grandfather, but I was itching to get out of there.

"It's time to leave!" I whispered to him when I saw the others head to the basement.

"Oh, can I visit the buffet first? I'm starving!" He said with an adorable pout.

"Go ahead with the others! And I'll find something for you." I smiled.

"Thanks!" He said, and as I turned to get a plate I felt him gently slap my ass. I looked back in surprise. My Jazzy only winked at me, and went over to my brothers. _That boy…_ I put a huge pile of food on a plate, a little from everything that I wanted him to try, and went to the basement to join the others.

Everyone was scattered around: Emmett was sitting on one of the couches with Bella, and judging from the intensity of her blush he was teasing her relentlessly. Edward was fixing up some music, while Rose and Jazz were in deep conversation. I walked up to him and as I got closer I heard that they were talking about his bike. I stepped closer to him and gave him the food along with a peck on his cheek.

"Here's the food." I smiled.

"Thanks, darling!" He drawled in his sexy accent, and then sat down in one of the armchairs to eat.

"Hey, where is _my_ food?" Emmett immediately asked.

"Upstairs, in the buffet." I answered nonchalantly.

"How come you didn't think to bring me something? You know that I'm hungry, too." Emmett asked with a raised eyebrow. But before I could answer Rose intervened.

"Oh, you know that Jasper is privileged…" She trailed off suggestively. I blushed in embarrassment that only increased when I saw Jazz smirking at me. _Well, I guess it was true!_ But then he winked at me in reassurance that calmed me down instantly. We had spent the rest of the evening with chatter, teasing, and while the guys couldn't resist a round or two of videogames, I made plans with the girls for a brief shopping trip on the following day. Really, just a brief one because I had already made plans with my Jazzy. I had a nice surprise in store for him, but first I needed to check back with Rose.

On Saturday morning, in our usual fashion with Rose picking everyone up, we headed out to Port Angeles. We checked out quite a lot of boutiques, but in reality all of us wanted to buy lingerie, including Bella. She could protest all she wanted, but I knew she liked surprising my brother with one or two little more daring outfits. As usual Rose didn't need my help, but Bella was still a little lost in the Victoria's Secret store so I helped her out. And then I looked for items that would interest Jasper. I had noticed that he didn't have any color preference, but he had a soft spot for lacy bras and panties in unique colors like blue, purple and especially green. In addition I picked up teddies and nighties, too.

While Bella was in the changing room trying something "horrible" on I broached my intended subject with Rose.

"Um… Rose, I need your advice." It was my brilliant opening line.

"About Jasper?" She asked smirking.

"Yes, as your last advice worked out brilliantly…" I trailed off remembering how great that afternoon with Jasper was. Remembering the feel of his shaft in my hand…

"I'm always happy to help." She giggled, and that sound broke my ever growing lustful thoughts.

"Anyway, I was thinking of taking the next step. You know, maybe third base." I whispered the last part.

"Okay, listen closely because that can be tricky…" With that Rose began to enlighten me on the topic. So I guess I could say that I had a very beneficial day on many level.

Despite my initial plans, it was a couple of days later when I could put my learning to good use. Mr. Jackson was out fishing with Charlie giving us privacy at their place. My room was out as Mom and Dad were home, not to mention Emmett. I walked up to the door and rang the bell.

"Hey, Ali!" Jasper opened the door, quickly pecked my lips and then stepped back. "Come in!"

I was a little dazed by his rash action, but walked in nonetheless.

"Are you hungry? Because the food is ready." He said.

"In a minute." I said and pouted a little. "I think you forgot something."

He chuckled lightly, but started to walk up to me really slowly. "Is that so?" He asked when he was only a couple of inches away. I simply nodded, unable to speak due to the intensity of his gaze. The lust in those deep eyes always gave me shivers running up my spine. He tipped his head and closed the distance between us. The kiss started out slow and sensual, but as usual it quickly got out of control. Our tongues fought for dominance, sliding and stroking. I felt his hands travelling down my body until they were gripping my ass. I moaned at the pleasure of it. Unfortunately, we needed air so we have to pull apart.

He smiled sweetly at me stroking my cheek with his thumb, I closed my eyes to enjoy his caress. "Come, have lunch with me!" He said after a while. I was so much under his intoxicating influence that I would have done anything he asked at that moment.

We had a nice meal together, but as soon as we went up to his room we picked up where we had left off earlier. I pushed him down on the bed and straddled his waist. _It was my favorite place to be! _Our shirts were quickly removed and we made out like crazy. I had a purpose in mind I couldn't let his talented hands, that were caressing my breasts, distract me. We pulled apart to breath and I smiled lazily when I felt his desire through his jeans. I swiftly undid his belt and zipper noting happily that he didn't make any move to stop me. But he was surprised when I didn't stop, and slid the jeans down his legs, but he didn't stop me yet. He was almost completely bare in front of me except for a pair of grey boxer briefs. At first I didn't do anything just looked at the masculine perfection on display. His legs were just as toned and defined as the rest of him, and they were deliciously long… And speaking of that my attention was drawn to the tent in his underwear. I ran my palms along his legs upwards to his hidden treasure, and he sucked in a quick breath. His eyes widened when I reached for his waistband.

"Is it okay?" My whispered question broke the silence that settled between us.

"Only if you want to." He said huskily.

I needed no more encouragement. I tugged on the sides of the boxer briefs and he lifted his hips so I could peel them off. And finally, he was completely naked… I couldn't take my eyes off of his exposed shaft. It was the first time that I had seen a naked boy, and he wasn't ordinary boy, he was _my_ gorgeous boy. I didn't know how long I was staring, but I became aware of his hands gripping his sheets at his sides and he was panting heavily. I reached out and started to work my hands on him just as any other time before, and when he closed his eyes I seized the opportunity and kissed his tip. Needless to say, his eyes flew open quite rapidly and widened as realization hit him.

"Alice, you don't…" He started to say, but I didn't let him finish.

"But I want to." I said.

He didn't seem convinced, but I continued anyway. I tentatively stuck my tongue out and experimentally swirled it around his plump head tasting him, and then slid his member behind my lips. He moaned loudly in response. And when I started sucking him with gradual intensity he slammed his back into the pillow.

"Fuck! Fuck!" He hissed. _God, I loved when he talked dirty._

I let my teeth gently and slowly graze him, and hummed in appreciation of his exquisite taste. He uttered another string of profanities and started trusting his hips upwards to meet my mouth. Rose had said that it would happen, but it wasn't as bad as I had expected or Jasper was just holding back. I had no idea, but I enjoyed our activity very much, so much indeed that my panties became kind of uncomfortably wet. He was turning me on with the noises and words he uttered.

"Alice… you… have to… move." He panted out. "I'm gonna come!"

I hummed again letting him know that I wanted him to come in my mouth. I looked into his eyes that were wide as saucers. Soon he cried out and his release filled my mouth. It wasn't that bad, it tasted like Jasper. I held my breath to fight my gagging reflex and swallowed down everything he gave me. When I felt him softening I let go of him, and crawled up on his body to lie next to him.

Jasper was laying there completely sated and limp. I smiled, pleased with my success. I was quite content with just laying together, but my Jazzy had other plans. When he roused himself he kissed me so deeply that it felt like he was kissing my entire body.

"Thank you." He whispered into my ear before nibbling at my lobe. He kissed his way down my neck and throat toward my collar bone. Meanwhile, his hands were working on my jeans, and he quickly discarded them. He moved back then to look at me in my burgundy colored underwear set.

"You are so beautiful…" He said softly returning his attention to my neck.

He placed gently kisses along my collar bone leading down to my chest and breasts. I was moaning loudly by this point. He swiftly undid the front clasp of my bra, but instead of removing it as I was expecting, he moved his kisses upwards and kissed me on the lips again. _He was driving me insane!_ He was distracting me so effectively that the next thing I knew his hands were covering my naked breasts. At some point he must have removed my bra. He paid very close attention to both of my breasts with his hands and thumbs, but when he started kissing them I cried out in pleasure. For many long minutes he was alternating between kissing and sucking on my nipples that were quite erect at his attention. I was breathing rapidly, but when I felt his right hand moving toward my panties I stopped breathing altogether.

"Breath, darling!" He commended huskily. His devastating smile in place.

I sucked in a huge lungful of much needed air. Jazz wasn't doing anything just waiting for my breathing to become normal or as normal as it could get under these circumstances. And then he ever so gently removed my last piece of clothing to reveal me to his hungry gaze.

"You are beautiful." He said, and placed a soft kiss on my ankle. I moaned quite loudly surprising us both. _Who knew my ankle was a soft spot for me?_ He started moving back up along my legs peppering light kisses all over. By the time he reached my naked sex I was breathing rather harshly, and I was embarrassingly wet down there. I shivered in delight when he gently blew cool air across my dripping center. Suddenly his tongue licked me from my core up to my clit.

"Shit!" I cried out. He was making me feel so good…

He was circling his tongue around my clit, occasionally flicking it with the tip of his tongue. The now familiar tension was building with lightening speed in my belly that only increased when I felt his fingers enter me. He kept his fingers at a steady pace, but increased the pressure of his tongue on me making me cry out unintelligible sounds. And I felt that wonderful tension leaving my body as I came bucking and writhing against his mouth and hand all the while calling his name. _It was the best orgasm ever!_ So intense… I could only imagine how different it would be when we finally had sex.

After that we just lay together. We didn't have energy to get dressed yet so Jasper covered us with his blanket. It was so intimate: we were naked and we were in a bed together.

"I love you." I said. I didn't know what made me say it whether the cosy atmosphere or the wonderful pleasure from earlier, but I wanted to vocalize my feelings.

"Love you, too." He said and kissed my temple.

I sighed in satisfaction, it was heavenly. I scooted a little closer to him and caressed his cheeks moving my hand and brushing his hair out of his face. I remembered when I first saw him I couldn't see his lovely eyes from his hair. I smiled fondly at that memory. Who knew that once we would be this close?

"What are you smiling at?" Jazzy asked driving me near distraction with the slow, sensual movement of his hands on my back.

"Hmm…" I hummed in pleasure. "I was just remembering the first time I saw you."

"Is that so?" He asked lazily.

"Yes. You were late for class, and at first I didn't look up. Just when I heard someone with a distinctly Southern accent apologizing…" I trailed off.

He chuckled. "Well, I have to confess that I hadn't noticed you at that first class."

"No?" I asked interested. Maybe now I could get a little glimpse into the workings of his mind that I was curious about at that time.

"No, I was too preoccupied with being late again." He explained.

"What about later? In biology when I rambled on like a fool." Now I could think about that memory fondly. _I got the boy after all!_

"I didn't notice you were rambling. I thought you were simply nervous about your first day at a new school." He said, and then added with a wicked glint in his eyes. "Of course I had no idea that I had anything to do with your nervousness."

"Oh, hush!" I said in mock indignation. "But, it's true. You were the most handsome guy I had ever seen. You still are."

"Well, then we are a lucky pair because I think that you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen." He said in a teasing tone. I noticed that he had changed the subject from first impressions, but I didn't mind. My Jazzy wasn't the same person anymore who sat next to me in Biology.

I loved our time together, and whenever we could manage we engaged in similar activities. As the saying goes "Practice makes perfect." And we practiced quite a lot… But it was harder and harder to keep my hands off of him when we were out in the public, especially at school. We had spent most of our time together at school, and we only engaged in a couple of stolen kisses, but once we were alone somewhere my Jazzy always made sure that we made up for lost time. I had never thought it possible to be more in love with Jasper than when we started going out, but I was wrong. I fell deeper and deeper in love with him every day as we shared stories of our past, memories, a few laughs and of course intimacy. However, Jasper only told me about the times when his mother was alive or recent stories since his move to Forks. I filled in the silence for him with the stories of my childhood: it always made him laugh when I told him what kind of trouble I got into as a little girl or my pranks on Emmett. All in all it was the happiest time of my life, still I sensed that something was off. As I became well acquainted with Jasper's body – unfortunately his back wasn't free of scars either – I noticed that he lost weight. He still looked perfect, it wasn't that noticeable, but his jeans became looser and he tightened his belt. Whenever I mentioned my concerns to him, he always calmed me saying that it was nothing, that he was just working much and he was worried about the upcoming exhibition in Seattle. I always believed him because I trusted him to tell me if something was really wrong…

* * *

><p>Thanks for all the encouraging reviews.<p>

Inspiration struck me, and now I know exactly where this story is heading:)


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

**Warning: adult themes ahead.**

Chapter 23

I knew I was ready. Every fiber of my body was ready for my Jazzy. I had no idea when this realization dawned on me; I just simply knew it was time. I loved him more than anything, and I knew that he returned my feelings. We had to take a long journey to arrive to this point, but we made it. Our relationship was strong and steady, I felt as nothing could break it. So now the problem was not the lack of want rather the lack of opportunity. I wanted my first time to happen in my room, not that I had any problem with Jasper's room, but my room was my sanctity, I was comfortable there. So I needed a foolproof plan to empty the house with so many residences. The perfect opportunity presented itself when Mom announced that she and Dad would travel to San Diego for a medical conference, and they would spend the whole weekend there. That meant I only needed a plan to get rid of my brothers. Well, I wasn't exactly worried about Edward as I could talk to him about my plans without him getting all brotherly and overprotective on me. Our special connection allowed him a glimpse into my feelings, and he only wanted me to be happy. Of course it also helped that he and Jasper were getting closer and closer, too. I guess they were on the way of becoming best friends. _Emmett, on the other hand…_ I just knew he would cause serious difficulties so to obviate the problem I had to pay Rose a friendly visit. I was in serious need of her help.

One day after school I opted to go home with Rose, surprising everybody.

"Is it okay Rose if I go over now to check out that magazine article you told me about?" I asked in a neutral tone. There was no magazine article, but I hoped that Rose would pick up on it. She did.

"Sure." She replied with a knowing smile.

Then I turned to Jasper. "Jazzy!" I said, and there was nothing neutral in my tone this time. "Could you pick me up from Rose's when you come over for dinner?" Mom had invited him over stating that she hadn't seen him for a long while, plus I suspected she wanted to pile him up with as much food as possible. She always felt the need to send food for Jasper's grandfather even though she knew that Jazz was completely capable of taking care of him. But I guess mothers were like that.

"Of course, Alice." He answered with a smile. "I'll be there around five."

"Thanks!" I gave him a huge smile in return.

"So what this is all about?" Rose asked when we were alone in her car. "I thought we covered everything that you needed to know about boys."

"It's not about that. I need your help in a different matter, but I'd rather tell you in your room."

"Okay, but just you know the suspense is killing me." She joked with a wink.

In the safety of her room I took a deep breath and came out with my plan.

"Okay. I decided to go all the way with Jasper next weekend when Mom and Dad are out of town." I paused for a moment after my big announcement. Rose only nodded for me to continue. "And I need your help to get Emmett out of the house. I can take care of Edward, but I'm sure Emmett would be less than thrilled…" I trailed off. Even thinking about his probable reaction freaked me out.

"I know what you mean. He can be difficult when it comes to you and Jazz." She shook her head.

"You think?" I asked sarcastically.

Rose grinned. "Although I don't understand why. In general he doesn't have any problem with Jasper, I think he even likes him."

"I know. I guess it has something to do with him being my big brother, he has to protect me, bla bla…" I said in frustration.

"Well, then we just have to come up with a good plan." She said thoughtfully. "And I suggest you share your plans with Jazz, too."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"It's great that you are taking charge and making plans, but you have to let Jasper know what you want. You can't expect him to just know that you are ready. He needs to prepare, too."

Oh, I hadn't even thought about that. _How stupid of me!_ "Oh, you are right. Thanks for the advice."

"It's nothing. You know, you and Bella are more similar than you would think. Although I admit that you blush a hell much less than Bella." She said with an exaggerated eye roll. I giggled in response.

We had spent the remaining afternoon with coming up with our master plan. We agreed on that the timing would be crucial or Emmett would realize the real motive behind Rose's plan. I watched in surprise as a mischievous glint appeared in her eyes.

"You have a plan?" I asked eagerly because I didn't have anything to go with.

"Yes, I think I got it." She said with a pleased smile.

I arched a questioning eyebrow. "Care to share?"

"No. Trust me, you don't want to know." She said, and winked at me. Ugh, I really didn't want to know then. "But I can guarantee you, it will work!" So I left everything in her capable hands.

"What about Edward?" Rose asked suddenly. "You will enlist Bella's help, too?"

"No, I'm simply going to talk to him." I said confidently.

"You are telling him?" Her tone was incredulous.

"Yes. He would know anyway that something was up. And with Edward the truth was the best course to take." I explained. And she nodded in understanding.

Okay, one down, now two more to go…

Just as he promised, Jazz picked me up 5 minutes after five. He didn't come in, rather he waited for me next to his bike. He didn't immediately notice me when I was at the door giving me the perfect opportunity to stare at him all I wanted. _He was still unbelievably gorgeous!_ He was leaning on his bike in jeans, leather jacket and boots with his helmet in his hand. He straightened when he noticed me so I skipped over to him and lightly kissed him on the lips.

"Hello, Jazzy!" I said cheerfully.

"Hello, yourself!" He grinned. "You are in a good mood!"

"I certainly am." I said returning his grin. I didn't want to discuss things on the street in front of Rose's house.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked, and I nodded enthusiastically.

"I don't want to ruin your mood, but here is your helmet." He smirked while holding out that damn thing. I still had issues with that, but I was getting better at riding the bike. I pouted a little for effect, but begrudgingly put it on amidst Jasper's chuckles.

On the bike it took us little time to arrive to our house, but I was basking in the feeling of having Jazz so close. The bike could be rather advantageous… During dinner I happily noted that Jasper was eating a lot with much gusto. Maybe there really was nothing wrong with him, and he only worked too much. However, I couldn't wait to get him alone to tell him my plans for the following weekend, and I also needed my private time with him. Hopefully he would agree to my plan. A sudden thought struck me: okay I was ready, but what about him? Was he? I needed to find out as soon as possible. So I quickly excused us and led him up to my room. He plopped down on my sofa and opened his arms invitingly for me. I giggled lightly, but sprinted across the room to be encircled in his strong arms. We just simply lay together, enjoying our closeness in silence, while he was playing with my left hand. I wanted to broach the subject of the weekend, but I continually lost the train of my though as he lightly caressed my fingers and my palm. I hummed in pleasure, and felt the vibration in his chest as a result of his chuckle.

"Hmm… Jazz?" I asked dreamily. _I should focus!_

"Yes, Ali?" He drawled right into my ear. I shivered in pleasure.

"You know my parents go out of town next week." I started a little breathlessly at first. Jasper stopped his sensual teasing. I didn't know whether because of the topic or because of my current state. "And I was thinking you could come over. I will be alone…" I trailed off suggestively.

Jasper's hands stilled their motion on my arms. "Alone?"

I turned in the circle of his arms to be able to look him in the eye. Now I was lying on top of him with my chin on his chest, and reached out to tuck a lock of his hair away from his face.

"Yes, alone. I made sure of that." I whispered hoping that he would understand my meaning without having to spell it out. His eyes were alert, searching mine, and I knew at once that he had understood my implication.

"Are you absolutely sure, Alice?" He asked seriously.

"Absolutely." I breathed, and then lifted to kiss him with all I had. Fortunately, he returned my kiss with equal fervor. After many long minutes we pulled apart breathing heavily.

"So can you… come over?" I asked still panting.

"Yes." He said in a husky whisper. I knew what that meant.

"Would it be okay with your grandfather?" I asked, and after a little consideration I added. "Maybe you can tell him that you just come over to keep me company as I would be alone in this big house."

Jazz laughed lightly at my suggestion. "Yes, I could, but he still would know the truth."

"Then what?" I asked as I didn't have a plan B.

"Alice, my relationship with grandpa is different from a normal parent-kid relationship. I can tell him I come over to spend the night." He explained.

"That simply?" I was incredulous. If I tried that I was sure both Mom and Dad would get a stroke.

"Yes, that simply." He smiled.

"Wouldn't it be awkward?" I asked a bit unsure.

"Not for me. But what about you? Would it bother you that my grandpa would know about um… our activities?" He asked with an adorable expression on his face. I couldn't resist: I had to kiss him.

"No, it wouldn't bother me." I reassured him.

After that we abandoned all pretenses of talking and we just kissed and kissed until it was late and he had to go home.

I waited for the prefect opportunity to ambush Edward with my plan. One afternoon I had time just after Emmett had left, but right before Bella would arrive and completely distract my brother. So I hurriedly went to his room.

I knocked on his door, but didn't wait for him to let me in. He was sitting at his desk, downloading some music to his laptop.

"How can I help you, dear sister of mine?" He asked. At least he was in a good mood, which could always help.

"I need to talk to you." I said eagerly. That caught his attention.

"Is there something wrong?" He asked worry lacing his voice.

Maybe that wasn't the best way to start this discussion. "Everything is fine. I wanted to talk to you about next weekend."

"When Mom and Dad are away? What about it?" He was suspicious now.

I sighed deeply. Here goes nothing. "I want to spend that night with Jazz."

He stared at me blankly not comprehending, but his quick intake of air assured me that he finally got it. Silence starched on between us.

"Edward?" I asked when I couldn't take his staring forward without a word any more.

"Are you sure, Ali?" He asked quietly.

"I'm absolutely sure. I love him with all my heart, and I know that he loves me, too." I tried to ease his worry. He sighed deeply, and I saw it as my chance so I continued. "So is there any possibility that you could… um… leave us alone?"

Another deep sigh. "Yes. Bella's father will work the night shift so I was planning on going over anyway. And I guess I could spend the night, but I will be home very early as I'd like to avoid the chief." He said wryly.

I bounced up and down in my spot on his couch, and then ran across the room to give him a fierce hug. _I had the best brother ever!_

"Thank you! Thank you!" I chanted happily. It caused him to laugh loudly at my antics. However, he quickly sobered.

"Just be careful, Alice!" He warned gently.

"I will." I promised him sincerely.

So here I was on Saturday afternoon all alone, finally. Edward had just left for Bella's, and Emmett had been mysteriously missing since the early morning hours. Whatever Rose's plan was, Emmett was very eager about it! So much so that it didn't even occur to him to ask me about my plans or to make sure that Edward was with me and Jazz at all times. _I loved Rose!_ But I put every thought about my brother aside as I had only one hour till my Jazzy would arrive. I started to prepare for the night ahead. I went to my bathroom to have a long and relaxing bath, and to make sure everything looked as they should with no lingering red patches. I was just checking because yesterday I was at that great spa again. After my bath I went over to my lingerie drawer to find an appropriate set. After careful consideration I settled for a pair of matching jade green lacy bra and boy shorts that left little to the imagination. I put the underwear on my bed, and went to my closet to pick up some clothes. I couldn't wait for Jasper just in my underwear! _I mean I could, but… Maybe I should try that on a different occasion!_ Hmm… The ever present problem: what to wear. I decided on a switchblade corset blouse that was striped with black and green strides, a pair of dress shorts and my new pair of Manolo Blahnik high heeled shoes. I was satisfied with my choice so I put everything on, and headed to the bathroom to fix my hair. I decided to skip makeup this time, I wanted to keep things as natural as I could. As I was getting ready and Jasper's arrival was getting closer and closer a nervous anticipation ran through my entire body. Finally, I was going to make love, and more importantly I was going to make love to my Jazzy. _I couldn't wait!_

When I heard the roar of the motorcycle, and then the doorbell an excited shudder coursed through my body from head to toe. _This is it!_ As calmly as possible I went to open the door, and there he was: my wonderful boyfriend looking sexier than ever. His leather jacket was open revealing to me his black button down shirt that had the first couple of buttons undone. He was wearing a pair of dark grey dress pants with black biker boots. When I was finished with taking all of him in, I noticed that he had a single red rose in his hand and an adorable half smile on his face. I was a little embarrassed at getting caught staring again, but one look into those expressive and gorgeous eyes and my mind was at peace. All the nervousness had left my body as I realized that there was nothing to worry about. This was my Jazzy, and everything would turn out just fine.

"You are looking beautiful, darling!" Jazz drawled sexily.

"Thanks!" I said a bit coquettishly. "You aren't bad yourself."

He did an exaggerated bow and handed me the flower. I thanked him with a courtesy and let him in. I was thrilled at the sight of his overnight bag because it meant that it was really happening. It was real!

"So I hope you are hungry because there is a lot of food for us!" I said as I led the way to the kitchen.

"Really? Did you cook?" He asked, and I suspected a little excitement in his voice.

"Well, no. Mom did all the cooking yesterday, but I helped her." I said.

"Bummer!" He said, but when I looked at him, he was smiling.

"You only get to taste my cooking if I loose our bet which I won't!" I told him with all the confidence in the world.

He cocked his head to the side. "You seem pretty sure about that."

"I'm pretty sure about your talent." I answered honestly.

"Thanks." He said, but seemed a little embarrassed. He wasn't really comfortable with compliments regarding his art. I hoped that one day soon it would change. "So what is it that we are going to eat?" He asked changing the subject.

"Chicken enchiladas." I replied.

We ate in the kitchen not bothering to use the dining room for just the two of us. The atmosphere around us was very pleasant. Previously I was worried that it would be all awkward and silent because of the implication and meaning of this night, but I shouldn't have worried. Jasper was calm and at ease which in turn calmed me. We had a very nice evening. Later we retired to the living room to watch a movie. We had a good natured argument about what to watch, but finally I complied and we watched _Inception _cuddled up together. It wasn't the movie that mattered, but the company.

When the movie finished we looked into each other's eyes. We didn't need words; we simply knew it was time. I intertwined our fingers and led the way to my room. And then I let everything took its natural turn.

We sat down on my bed and started kissing. It felt good and familiar. He moved a little back and lifted me to his lap to straddle him. Our kisses were slow and languid, we had the whole night ahead of us, and there was no need to hurry. Jasper's hands were in my hair and on my neck slowly caressing me while mine was on his back desperately pulling him closer. His tongue was teasing me with alternating between gentle and rough strokes, and his hands started a sensual travel down my shoulders, sides – lightly brushing my breasts on their way – hips, and finally they settled on the curve of my ass. _I was getting really turned on!_ I moved my hands to the front of his shirt, and started to undo the rest of his buttons. I managed to remove his shirt all by myself, and threw it on the floor somewhere, all the while we never broke the kiss. Jazz moved me back on my bed and now he was hovering over me. He started kissing my neck and throat allowing me to breathe after that marathon making out. I felt his hand caressing me under my breasts, and very slowly they started undoing the hooks on my shirt one by one revealing my green bra to his lustful gaze. He leaned back to look at me.

"Alice… so sexy." He murmured, and kissed me with renewed fervor.

I was panting and moaning when he discarded my shirt, and placed a soft kiss right where my heart was beating frantically. He kissed and licked my neck, throat and collarbone slowly moving down to my breast. I was so turned by this point that I was faintly worried that even my shorts would get wet from my arousal. For a brief second both of his hands cupped my breasts conjuring a loud groan from me, but then they moved toward the button on my shorts. He made quick work with my button and zipper, and soon I was laid on my bed just in my sexy lingerie while he was still only half naked. I wanted to ratify that situation, but before I could get a hold of him, he sat back to admire the display.

"Jazz…" I moaned in a breathless and desperate voice.

"My beautiful Ali!" He said huskily, and then captured my lips in another searing kiss.

I used his closeness to my advantage, and hurriedly undid his button and zipper to remove his pants. Finally he was just in a pair of black boxer briefs, and I grabbed him through his underwear making him release the most erotic moan ever. By this time Jazzy's soft lips were attached to my breasts gently sucking and kissing while his thumbs stroked my erect nipples. I was gasping in harsh, quick pants. _Jesus, what a turn on that was!_ With a regretful look he unclasped my bra and discarded it as well. I squealed in my head at my success in choosing that bra, but soon I squealed out loud when he sucked on my right nipple. When he was satisfied with all the attention he had paid to my breasts, he started a sensual descent toward my panties. He placed open-mouthed kisses all over my stomach, belly-button, and he licked my hips. I was a moaning, panting and shivering mess as a result of his expert ministrations. To my great frustration he skipped the place I most wanted his mouth, and he only chuckled at my desperate protest. But he made up for all the frustration when he nibbled on my ankle sending a new wave of wetness between my legs. After teasing me near the edge, his face was finally in line with my soaking sex, but fortunately without any further ado he licked me from my entrance to my clit.

"Oh, shit!" I cried out in intense pleasure.

He licked and flicked my swollen clit making me utter unintelligible sounds. My hands were fisted in his wonderful hair not letting him move away, not that he wanted to. With one hand he reached out to palm my breast while the other caressed my thigh. All these sensations caused my orgasm to rip through my body with lightening speed.

"Jasper…" I moaned long and loudly. _And I came harder than ever before!_

Many minutes later I became over that he moved back on my body and his cock was pressing close to my core. He must have removed his boxer briefs while I was climbing down from that spectacular release.

"Alice?" He questioned in a strained voiced caressing my temple. When my eyes focused on his he continued. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, please!" I managed to breath out getting turned on by the thought of him inside me. I lowered my hands to the small of his back to urge him closer.

"Wait, Alice!" He moaned. "I need… condom." He tried to get up, but I tightened my arms around him.

"No… I'm… on the pill." I managed to stutter out.

My breath caught in my throat at the intensity of his gaze. Finally, this was it! He reached between my legs and parted me, one finger slipping inside testing the wetness around my flesh, and then he pushed into me much too slowly. The pressure was immediate, but he moved slowly to give me time to adjust to his size, and I felt a combination of pain and pleasure when he reached my barrier. And finally my Jazzy was fully inside me! He held still over me waiting for the pain to ease, and so he could get a grip on his control. But when I felt the burning sensation subsided pleasure coursed through me again.

"You feel so good…" He growled.

I realized that I can move too, so I moved my hips upwards letting him know that he can move. At first his movements were slow and cautious, but with time they grew in intensity: his thrusts became sharper, harder and oh so deeper. As I was getting worked up again I locked my ankles around his waist not letting him move back too much. My back arched at the sensation of this new angle, and he groaned loudly kissing me hard. We moved together in a frantic rhythm, and suddenly I felt the tension snap inside me leaving intense pleasure in its wake. Jasper grunted and groaned, and then I felt his release inside me. We lay together with him collapsed on top of me and our breath heaving in and out for many long minutes. He eventually stirred, and moved back slipping out of me, but he held me in his arms not breaking our contact.

"I love you." I said dreamily.

"I love you, too." He returned sweetly.

"Wow." I giggled happily as I realized that we had just made love.

"Something funny you want to share?" He asked lazily stroking my arm.

"Nothing is funny. It was just so… amazing. Better than I could have ever imagined." I told him in genuine wonder. It didn't even hurt that much.

"Did I hurt you much?" He asked in a worried tone.

"No!" I said and kissed him deeply. "Only a little discomfort, but you were amazing…"

He only grinned in response and tightened his hands around me. Eventually he excused himself to go to the bathroom to clean himself up. I was a virgin so it was kind of messy, I guess. _What a strange thing to think?_ I _was_ a virgin. I grinned to myself when I realized that I wasn't anymore, my Jazzy took care of it. And I couldn't be happier about it!

When Jasper returned to me we cuddled closely on my bed talking about unimportant things, sharing a few laughs, a few kisses, and a lot of touching. We managed to make love one more time, being very careful of course as I was still a bit sore. To my delight this time I was on top, and this position gave me a whole new range of pleasure. I couldn't wait to do it again!

Sometime during the night I woke up to an unfamiliar feeling under my chin. At first I was disoriented and startled by another presence in my bed, but I soon realized that it was just Jazz. I smiled into the darkness: we were sleeping together. I propped up on my elbow so that I could take him and his beauty in as he slept soundly. Moonlight shown through my window dimly illuminating his sleeping form. His features were relaxed giving him a much more carefree appearance than when he was awake. I smoothed back his hair from his forehead, and he unconsciously leaned into my touch. His long eyelashes were almost touching his cheeks, his cute little nose was smooth without any bump, and at the end my eyes settled on his full lips. _Oh, how I loved those lips!_ They were so soft and gentle, but they could be rough and demanding at times. And when he smiled they curved in a delicious way… I shivered in remembrance of how much pleasure those lips provided me last night. _What a tender lover he was!_ With these pleasant thoughts I drifted off to sleep snuggling closer to my Jazzy's warmth.

* * *

><p>So they finally did it. What do you think?<p>

A little tease: in the next chapter we will see what Jazz thinks about their new relationship.


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

**Warning: adult themes ahead.**

Chapter 24

JPOV

I woke up with a jolt in the morning, and I heard a faint murmur in protest. I looked over at Alice who was soundly asleep snuggled close to my side. Her head laid in the crook of my shoulder and her hand was on my chest. _Alice!_ She was such a beautiful girl and for some inexplicable reason she loved me. Her love felt incredible, I had never experienced anything like it, and she certainly was showing me her love freely in any way possible. I grinned like a fool when I remembered what we had done the previous night. My little Alice was certainly very passionate, of course I knew this from our earlier activities, but last night… I hoped I didn't really hurt her, and I knew I couldn't completely eliminate it, but I tried to give her pleasure so she would remember that and not the pain. I hoped I was successful, and she didn't regret giving me that precious gift. I was always very careful with her, paying close attention to her needs and comfort, I wanted her to have a night that she would never forget.

I glanced at the clock on her nightstand noting it was only five a.m. _Fuck!_ Why can't I sleep? It's always the same: I can't fall back asleep, no matter how tired I felt. But I couldn't afford to cut back on work now, I needed the money for quality canvass for the exhibition next month. These were pictures for sale, and I couldn't go there with simple paper based sketches and drawings, I had to create worthy and complete art work both in quality and appearance. And quality costs! Luckily I wasn't lacking in inspiration, I was full of ideas these days as I should be because I had to create 8 pictures. Alice always inspires me, and I succeeded in finishing 5 of them already. I smiled in the darkness when I remembered how adorably Alice pouted when I told her that she could only see my pictures on the exhibition like anyone else.

Another glance at the clock convinced me that it was futile to lie in bed any longer. I should get up as I was sure that Edward would arrive soon, and perhaps I shouldn't be in Alice's room when he does. _That could get awkward!_ I glanced one last time at the beauty at my side, and gently lifted her hand away from my chest and moved away without waking her. I was only in my underwear so I put on some clothes and headed for the kitchen. There wasn't any coffee left, and I decided to make some. I knew that Alice couldn't drink any, but maybe Edward would need it. I smiled to myself at the image of Alice with caffeine in her system. The Cullens had really good coffee and I slowly sipped mine to savor the taste. I wasn't in the kitchen long when I heard the gentle purr of the Volvo's engine. Edward was home.

I was sitting on a barstool when I saw him walk in the kitchen in a sleepy state. He was surprised to see me there.

"Hey, Jazz!" He greeted me with a handshake. "I thought you would be still asleep. It's way too early." He walked to the sink to get a glass of water.

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep." I hoped he wouldn't question me on that.

"Why? Was Alice snoring?" He asked his eyes full of mischief.

I had to laugh. "Sorry to disappoint, but no. She sleeps in perfect silence." I continued. "Want some coffee?"

He shrugged in response. "Well, I need more sleep so I should go to my room. Maybe later." He started to walk out, but turned back in the doorway. "And don't worry, Alice would be down soon. Believe it or not she is an early riser." He said with a wink.

"That I believe!" I chuckled.

My mind travelled back to the girl upstairs sleeping peacefully after a wonderful night of passion. The feelings she evoked in me were so foreign and yet so right. I knew that sex was great, the pleasure couldn't be compared to anything else, but having sex with someone you are in love with was like nothing I had ever experienced. Maria and I had engaged in casual sex, it wasn't much more than sex: simple and easy. But with Alice it was really making love, and it was a hundred times better than any casual pleasure could be. I loved Alice very much, now I knew that confusing feeling I had for so long was simply love. I chuckled to myself when I remembered the expression on Alice's face when I told her I loved her. Well, in all reality I had surprised myself as well. I wasn't planning on telling her that, I had no idea that I felt that way, but the moment we shared was so perfect and I knew it at that instance with crystal clarity: my heart was hers. Ever since that moment our relationship was almost perfect with the occasional bump in the road. But I couldn't help, but wonder: how long it is going to last. I had never been this happy in my entire life, and I wasn't someone who deserved such happiness. I momentarily wondered what Dr. Simmons would think if she heard me now. I guess more therapy, but at least she helped me, even though we still had a lot of work to do… I had no idea how long I sat there thinking these things when suddenly Alice was in the kitchen with me.

"Jazzy!" She cried in the door and ran toward me in full speed. I didn't have time to be amused as that little energy bomb almost knocked me off the stool in her enthusiasm. She hugged me fiercely, and then kissed me passionately.

"Well, good morning to you, too!" I said smiling when we eventually pulled apart.

"Hey!" She said softly. Her hand was in my hair caressing my scalp, and we were still in our earlier embrace: I was sitting on the stool with Alice standing between my legs.

"You got me worried." She whispered.

I frowned. "How so?"

"You weren't there when I woke up, and for a split second I thought you were only a dream…" She trailed off. I kissed her deeply to reassure her.

"I'm very real, Alice. I only came down to have a cup of coffee." I told her.

"Yes, that was my second guess." She said thoughtfully.

"And I thought I should be awake when your brother arrived." I added to divert her attention away from my early waking. It worked.

"Oh, did Edward come home?" She asked glancing toward the kitchen door.

"Yes, but he went back to sleep soon."

"Yeah, he isn't a morning person." She mused. "Are you hungry? We should eat breakfast." She said in her usual hyper mood. She had just got up and she was this wide awake, I had hours on her and I was still tired. Without waiting for my answer she moved to one of the cabinets and took down two bowls.

"I'm not big on breakfasts." I said before she could make me a cereal. "A pop tart would be fine if you had any."

"Oh, of course. Chocolate fudge or strawberry?" She asked.

"Chocolate." I replied with a grin.

We had a nice breakfast together with me munching on the pop tart and her eating a bowl of cereal. And then we went back to her room.

"I think I'm going to have a shower. Okay?" I asked as I grabbed my bag that lay on the floor next to her desk. She started to make her bed, but looked back at me.

"Sure. I put out a towel for you." She said smiling. "The blue one."

I nodded in understanding. I took out my clothes for the day and headed to her bathroom. It was such a big bathroom for such a small person, but it suited her perfectly. It was a real girly bathroom full of beauty products and stuff. I put my fresh clothes on the counter and stripped my old ones. I stepped into the shower and chuckled lightly when I noticed that I had to raise the showerhead to suit my height. The water was warm and very relaxing. I wasn't under the water long when I heard the door open. _Ah, so Alice decided to join me!_ I pretended not to notice her, and continued my shower letting her watch all she wanted. It was funny how fascinated she was with my looks, especially my naked body, I caught her staring enough to notice that. Though I didn't understand why, I was hardly anything special. If anything, I should repulse her with all those scars, but again Alice surprised me with her goodness. I saw the pity and the pain in her eyes when she looked at them, but they were overpowered by the love she felt for me. She loved me with all my scars, inside and out.

I small hand on my back stopped my darkening thoughts. Alice decided that she had enough of just looking.

"I wondered when you would join me." I said not turning to face her. I lifted my left hand to rest it on her nice ass.

"I wanted to surprise you." She said with a little disappointment in her voice. I was sure she was pouting, too. I didn't say anything as she placed her head against my back and wounded her arms around my chest. She started caressing my torso while placing small kisses all over my back. I sucked in a quick breath when her hands dropped dangerously low, and moaned loudly when they came in contact with my cock which was hard since the moment she placed her tiny hand on my back. She started moving her hands up and down with the perfect amount of pressure that she knew I liked. As much as I hated I had to stop her or it would be a very quick and unsatisfying shower. So I removed her hands from me and turned around to silence her protests with a kiss. I didn't waste time in plunging my tongue in her mouth immediately tasting her unique and sweet flavor. I was addicted to that taste that was all sweet little Alice! As I kissed her deeply I moved my hand up to cup her perfect little breasts which caused her to break our kiss with a very loud moan. _Fuck, I loved how vocal she was!_ She was panting hard when my right hand moved to cup her naked sex.

"Shit!" She uttered breathlessly when my fingers encountered a particularly sensitive spot. _Hmm… I needed to explore this. _I curled my fingers a little upwards eliciting another delicious moan from her.

"Jazz…" She practically growled my name which was such a turn on. "I want you inside."

"Sh!" I said. I wanted that, too more than anything, but first I had to make sure that she was comfortable. So I moved my fingers in earnest, faster and harder while I started kissing her breasts. I violent shudder shook her when my tongue circled her pink little bud. She threw her head back and moaned my name again as her orgasm shattered through her body. She was so focused on her pleasure that her hand stilled on my back, but soon they moved back to my cock.

"Jazz, please!" She groaned. That please always made me loose focus.

She squealed when I picked her up and with a swift move I was inside her.

"Alice!" I moaned as incredible warmth and tightness engulfed me. I needed to get a grip or I would come instantly! It didn't help matters that she started to move on my cock so to distract her I started sucking on her neck and on the very sensitive spot right below her ear. She gripped my shoulders as I thrust into her hard and deep quickly losing control. She was so warm, tight and wet around me and it felt incredible. It was almost too much, but I had to make sure she came first so I moved one hand between us and I put my finger against her clit and started to rub.

"Oh, God!" She called out.

I pushed her against the shower wall to get a better angle and more space to move. Her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck gripped harder and her breathing quickened. Her moans and groans against my ear were driving me fucking insane and I could feel my cock grow harder and harder as my orgasm approached quickly. And finally I could let go as she cried out again long and loud as her walls clamped down on my cock. I followed her immediately as my stomach twisted and my knees buckled slightly as I exploded inside her.

"Fuck, Alice!" I breathed out and leaned back to look at her. A lazy smile was starching across her lovely face. She never looked more beautiful.

"Mmm… That was incredible." She sighed. And I whole heartedly agreed.

We finished our shower and got dressed. I put on a pair of jeans with a long sleeved shirt. It was warm so I could have dressed in a simple T-shirt, but I didn't want to reveal my scars to Edward. I trusted him, too, and I knew he wouldn't ask about them, but I wasn't in the mood to see pity and wonder on his face. Besides I was sure that the others would join us soon.

I waited for Alice in the living room. She told me to go ahead as she had plenty to do to get ready. I didn't understand what she had to do, besides putting on some clothes, but wisely I didn't question her. When she finally came down my jaw dropped to the floor. She was wearing a pair of barely there pink shorts with a dark blue wife beater. _Fuck me sideways! _

"Alice!" I said trying to sound stern, but it came out as a half moan. She giggled at my reaction and did a quick twirl to show me everything. I guess she had the desired effect as now my dick was straining against my jeans. A shifted uncomfortably which caught her attention. She stood there in that shit hot outfit staring at my crotch.

"Cut it out!" I hissed between my teeth.

She lifted her huge eyes to me, her pupils were dilated and the emerald orbs were flashing with desire. Within a second Alice was straddling me while she plunged her tongue down at my throat. I knew I should put a stop to this before it gets out of control, but I was powerless against this much temptation. I was only a guy! However, the loud noise of someone clearing their throat penetrated our lustful haze. _Oh, God! Please be it Edward, and not Emmett!_

"Hey, Edward!" Alice breathed. I heaved a huge sigh of relief. I was safe, for now.

"Ali! Jazz!" Edward nodded with a smirk. "I'll be in the kitchen!" He warned.

As he turned around to leave, Alice climbed off my lap and settled next to me.

"Sorry!" She said softly with a regretful look to my cock which was still alert. She bit her bottom lip to restrain herself not realizing how sexy that looked.

"Ali, my eyes are up here." I tried to joke to relax us both. It worked. She giggled and turned her attention back to my face. "God, I created a monster!" I joked, and she blushed prettily.

"So when is Emmett coming back?" I asked to diffuse our situation. Thinking about Emmett always helped me with this kind of problem. Then added as an afterthought. "Where is he anyway?"

"I have no idea. He is somewhere with Rose." Alice smiled. "And Rose texted me to say that they would arrive around three."

"That's good to know!" It came from the doorway as Edward returned. He dropped down on the loveseat. "Bella will be here at two."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Of course she would." And then, suddenly she quirked up. "Dibs on the first hour with her."

"Alice!" Edward whined, and I chuckled to into her neck.

"Hey, man, we could play the guitar then." I suggested to him which he accepted with a resigned sigh. We turned the TV on and watched some cartoons and the news. Around noon I offered to make lunch as I wasn't allowed to taste Alice's cooking unless she lost our bet.

"Care to join me in the kitchen?" I asked her, and stood up extending my hand for her.

"Yes!" She cried and was in my arms in an instant.

"Well, I will be in the music room." Edward announced solemnly. He could be very miserable without Bella. Sometimes their clinging to each other seemed a little unhealthy. _Thank God, Alice wasn't the clingy type!_ I would feel suffocated.

So Alice and I went to the kitchen and together we made some pasta and sauce for lunch. We had a great time in the kitchen, cooking together and just having fun. It was maybe the most carefree experience of my life!

After Bella's arrival the girls disappeared upstairs while Edward and I retired to the music room to play some chords. By the time the girls came down, Rose and Emmett had arrived and we watched some TV, but soon I deemed it time to leave. I needed to check on grandpa, anyway. Alice clutched my hand in both of hers and walked with me to my bike.

"I had such a wonderful time this weekend." She said softly.

"I know. Me, too." I answered and kissed her tenderly. But she was having none of that and returned my kiss passionately.

"I needed something to last me till Monday." She said as an explanation.

I simply grinned back. "Then see you on Monday."

I put on my helmet and hopped on the bike. Before leaving I waved to her, and then kicked up the stand and quickly left the driveway behind.

As usual grandpa was watching some awful game show on TV when I arrived. I shook my head: how could he watch that shit, I had no idea.

"Hey, grandpa!" I said after putting my helmet down.

"Hello, Jasper!" He grinned at me knowingly.

I didn't lie to Alice when I said that grandpa was okay with my going over, I just didn't tell her how much he enjoyed teasing me about it. Grandpa hadn't been surprised when I informed him about my plans about this weekend. And why would he be? He knew that we were in love, and he had already known about Maria, too. Back in Texas, after getting released from the hospital I wanted to go see her, just to check on her and maybe help if I could. However, her drunken stepfather informed that her mother packed everything up and they had left. I hope she had a better life since then.

After a little chat with grandpa I went into my room to finish my 6th picture. It was an abstract work so I was quickly engrossed in my surreal world. I had completely lost track of time and just painted so much so that when my cell rang I jumped a little. _It really startled me!_ I checked the ID, it was Alice.

"Hello, darling!" I greeted her with a smile.

"Jazzy!" She giggled in happiness.

After a momentary pause I asked. "Is there a reason for this call?"

"Oh, not really. I just wanted to hear your voice again." She said softly. "And I'm lying on my bed missing you."

I chuckled. "Well, that's a nice visual." I teased.

I heard her sweet giggles on the other side of the line. "Then why don't you give me a nice visual, too? What are you doing?" She asked coyly.

"Sorry, I can't as I'm not in bed, I was painting. And I look kind of messy." I told her truthfully. I had paint all over my shirt and hands.

"I'm sure you still look delicious." She said, and then I heard her quick intake of air. I guess she didn't want to say that out loud. I was quite amused at her slip, and I could imagine her blushing in her room. But she quickly recovered. "Why are you painting this late, anyway?"

I had no idea about the time so I looked at my watch and it said half past nine. _Fuck!_ I still had homework to do.

"Oh, I didn't realize the time." I told her somewhat in a daze.

"Then I should let you finish it. Sweet dreams. I love you." She said softly.

"Love you, too." I replied then we hung up.

Monday started out to be a strange day. I woke up feeling disoriented and dizzy; this in itself wasn't that surprising as it happened quite often recently. However, the dizziness didn't pass quickly as usual, it was so strong that I could only sit up, but walking was out of the question. I sat up and put my head between my legs trying to fight the awful feeling off. When it subsided I dragged my tired body to the shower. _Maybe the cold water would do me good!_ In the bathroom I examined my face in the mirror: I looked a little pale, but there weren't any circles under my eyes. I was startled when I felt something in my nose, and watched in horror as I realized that my nose was bleeding. _What the fuck?_ I quickly washed it with cold water, and relaxed as it only lasted for a couple of minutes. As I was heading to the kitchen I considered telling grandpa, but by the time he arrived I felt completely normal so I decided to keep it to myself. It was probably nothing, a one time thing, and I would just worry him unnecessarily.

"Good morning, grandpa!" I greeted him, and turned to fix him some breakfast. "Any exciting plans for today?"

"Oh, mock me! Why don't you?" He said sarcastically, but I knew he was smiling. "And, for your information, I do have plans."

I turned around to look at him, and saw a smug smile on his face. "Care to share?" I asked as I put the food in front of him.

"Thanks, son." He said staring eating. "Bob and I are going to Port Angeles to check out the new fisherman's shop. What about you? Plans with Miss Alice?" He asked grinning.

I chuckled in response. "Yes, I have a meeting with Dr. Simmons, but then I have plans with Alice."

"Alright, then. I guess I will be home by the time you arrive." He said thoughtfully. I took it as my clue to go upstairs and get ready.

When I arrived to the school Alice wasn't there yet, but Rose was waiting by her car so I walked up to her. She seemed tense.

"Hey, Rose!" I greeted her.

"Jazz." It was all she said. I knew she wasn't going to say anything until she felt ready so prying was useless. I simply waited.

"Can I ask you something?" She turned to me after a couple of minutes of silence.

"Sure." I said. I had no reason to suspect she would ask anything personal. We were friends sure, but not very close ones.

"Do you think it's insane of me that I want to study engineering so I can design cars?" She asked very interested in my answer.

"Why would you be insane? You love cars and you certainly have talent for it. I think you should go for it." My answer seemed to please her. "Why do you ask?"

"I had a fight with my dad this morning. In his view it was ridiculous that I wanted to study something that was so unfeminine." She explained.

"Well, it's your life and you do whatever _you_ want with it." I told her sincerely.

"Thanks." She said softly, and I saw that she really relaxed. We watched together as the silver Volvo turned into the parking lot and headed to the empty space right next to Rose's car.

"Rosie!" Emmett cried as soon as the car stopped. I saw Edward pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. Rose smiled softly at him, but then I had to turn away from their greeting.

Alice looked radiant this morning, even more beautiful than usual. She walked up to me, but stopped only a foot away, and looked into my eyes. I reached out for her hand and squeezed it in reassurance. Then we walked to our first class together.

My appointment with Dr. Simmons went horribly. I have never felt more out of control, and my emotions were all over the place. We had been discussing my memories about my mother for some time now, and about my feelings regarding her and her death. But now we started talking about my father before my mother's death, and I talked about our strained relationship. I had never had many feelings for him. Sure, I was angry with him after what he had done to me, but I really was indifferent to him. I liked to pretend that he didn't even exist. This seemed to worry the doctor so I guess that wasn't the proper reaction. By the time we finished I was in a foul mood, I didn't want to talk to anybody so I texted Alice.

_Sorry, I can't go over. I need to be alone. Jasper _

Maybe that was a bit rude, but I didn't feel up to explaining things. So I headed home to the empty house. I was grateful for grandpa's being away as I wasn't in the mood to face anybody at all. Somehow I felt trapped with no way out, suffocated by my own emotions. In a few days' time I had experienced the highest and lowest emotions possible, and I felt weak. I went upstairs to my room, and sank down at the foot of my bed. I pulled up my legs and rested my head on them while I let my mind wander back to the past: about my mother, my father, all the abuse. I knew I shouldn't do this, but I couldn't stop. I had no idea how long I had been sitting there, but suddenly I felt violently sick. I barely made it to the bathroom. When I washed my face afterwards I saw that my nose was bleeding again, but I felt too tired to care. And by the time I heard grandpa arrive I felt numb and spent. I couldn't face him in this sate…

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><p>Let me know what you think!<p> 


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

**Warning: adult themes ahead.**

Chapter 25

I was sitting at my desk doing all my homework. I wanted to finish everything by the time Jazz arrived so there wouldn't be anything keeping me from spending time with him. And by spending time of course I meant kissing and touching or if we are lucky a little more… I was so happy about being with him again, I could hardly wait, and my mind always wandered back to that sexy boy. This weekend was the happiest of my young life: I had spent a whole weekend with Jasper making love. I shivered at the memory. I was amazed how carefree my Jazzy was acting; he seemed genuinely happy and free of all the pain that usually resided in his gorgeous eyes. I hoped it was something that would last forever. And why wouldn't it? We were happy together, and he had said that his therapy was helping him greatly. I was sure that in time everything would turn out to be perfect.

As I sat there contemplating my future with Jazzy suddenly I felt really nervous. An anxious feeling sank into the pit of my stomach, and I had this inexplicable feeling that something was terrible amiss. That was when I heard my phone beep with a new text message so I quickly checked.

_Sorry, I can't go over. I need to be alone. Jasper _

Oh, what was wrong with him? My mind worked insanely fast to come to a conclusion. His therapy must have gone wrong. He had always been a little down after each session, but never this much. I was very worried about him, but tried to calm myself with the fact that his grandfather was at home and he was always there for him. He would help him cope with whatever had happened today. I debated whether I should answer him or leave it, but thought that in his current state he probably wouldn't even check his phone so I left it at that. I sighed deeply: I hope he was alright.

When I finished all my homework I decided to go down and tell Mom that she shouldn't expect Jazz for dinner. As usual I found her in the kitchen busy with making a delicious meal.

"Hey, Mom! Need any help?" I asked and tried to make my voice sound normal, but failed miserably.

She stopped whatever she was doing and looked at me. "Are you alright, honey?" She asked in a concerned tone.

"I'm fine. But Jasper can't come." As I said it I realized I had no explanation as to why he wouldn't come. No one in my family knew about his therapy, it was something he preferred to keep quiet. I needed to come up with a believable lie.

"Why? What happened? Did you have a fight?" With each question Mom's concern grew.

"No, nothing like that." I tried to smile to reassure her. It seemed to work. "He just needed to stay home to finish another one of his pictures. You know how dedicated he is, especially when he got inspired." I was amazed at my own creativity. That could even be true.

"Oh!" Mom sighed in relief. "You got me worried for a minute." She turned back to her work, and then added. "And you can chop up these vegetables."

We continued working on the dinner as a well practiced team, and in no time at all we were ready. During dinner I told everyone the same excuse about Jasper's absence, and everybody bought it. Only Edward looked at me suspiciously, I could never fool him, but I hoped he wouldn't pry.

The next morning I was up early, and I was very eager to go to school to see with my own eyes how Jasper really was. I needed to assure myself that it was really nothing serious, just the aftermath of his therapy. Times like these I hated that it took time to pick up Bella, too, but fortunately she was always ready in time. As we turned into the school's parking lot I started scanning the area. I quickly found Rose by her car, but there was no trace of Jasper. My heart sank. Where was he? We got out and greeted Rose. The others started chatting about stuff, but I wasn't paying any attention as my eyes were focused in the direction that Jazz should arrive. I exhaled in relief when I saw the familiar motorcycle turning in the corner and heading to his usual spot. My relief was short lived because as I hurried over to him I saw the state he was in. He looked pale, tired and his eyes were bloodshot, but he managed to greet me with a weak smile.

"Jazz!" I cried in fear. What the hell happened at that therapy? "How are you?" I asked and my voice was full of concern. Instead of answering he hugged me really tightly, and I couldn't do much, but return it. His silence worried me even more, he had never done anything like this before. Honestly, he was scaring me.

"I'm better." He finally replied when he let go of me.

"What happened?" I asked caressing his stubble covered chin, and then moving my fingers over to the circles under his eyes.

"I couldn't sleep." He said and something was in his voice.

"Nothing at all?" I asked my concern grew tenfold.

"Not a wink." He said, but it was clear that he wanted to drop the subject so I complied. I intertwined our fingers and we walked to class in silence.

That day Jasper was very quiet, like he used to be at the beginning of our friendship. His eyes were far away, not concentrating on the present. He really scared me.

After a few days Jazz was back to normal, but he never told me what bothered him so much. And as he let go and relaxed, I could relax as well, but I was dreading the coming Monday and a new therapy session. Would the whole ordeal repeat? Would this become our new routine? However, my Jazzy was as sweet as ever trying to make up for the lost time with kisses and intimate caresses. _God, he had a really talented little tongue!_ And I enjoyed every pleasurable minute of it. The Monday fiasco never happened again, but our routine had changed: Jasper never came over on Mondays, he always preferred to be alone.

As March came to an end, the admission letters were slowly arriving. I had never seen Emmett more nervous about anything, and I could understand as his entire future depended on it, but I suspected that his nervousness was rather about whether he and Rose go to the same university. He had once experienced the painful breakup because of distance, and I knew that he would never be able to let go of Rose. He loved her with all his heart and the feeling was mutual. They mostly applied to the same colleges and universities, but still the chance was there that they have to separate. This whole thing got me worried about the future: in one year's time I would be in his shoes. What will the future hold for Jazz and me? I knew that Edward wanted to go to Julliard to become a composer, and I also wanted to go to New York. I had my reasons: first and foremost, New York was the fashion capital of the US with excellent schools and opportunities for designers. And another reason was that I couldn't fathom the idea of being far away from Edward. He felt the same as our bond was so strong that none of us could bare the separation. There was a good chance that Bella would go to New York, too. I knew that Edward was working on her. But Bella and my Jazzy had the same problems, and that wasn't just money. Bella loathed the idea of leaving his father alone as much as Jasper hated to leave his grandfather. I had no idea what I would do if Jasper and I end up on the opposite coasts of the country. That was my deepest fear: Jazz going to Seattle while I go to New York, because I knew that in that case I would have to let him go. I tried not to think too much about this, but it always lingered in the back recesses of my mind.

The news came suddenly on Tuesday. Emmett and Rose were called home from school because their admission letters arrived. So they went home leaving us at the school nervous about the outcome. So it wasn't surprising that Edward drove home a little above the speed limit. Bella was with us again as she was curious about the results, too and Jazz asked me to call him about the news. As usual he had to work.

The scene that greeted us was surreal: Emmett was bouncing up and down on the sofa in the living room – much like I usually do – while Rose sat calmly in the armchair with a secretive smile on her face. Mom was sitting next to the very excited Emmett jolting back and forth from his activities, but her eyes were slightly moist. And Dad was smiling proudly.

"So what happened?" I asked eagerly as soon as we stepped inside the living room.

"Woo, little sis!" Emmett cried and I was in a huge bear hug not a second later. He spun me around making me dizzy.

"We are going to California, baby!" He shouted joyfully. I grinned at this fantastic news: both of them really wanted to go to UCLA, and their dream came true. Emmett was going to study Sport Management while Rose was really interested in Mechanical Engineering. I couldn't be happier for both of them.

Dad quickly made plans to celebrate their success. He announced that he was going to reserve a table in one of the fancy restaurants in Seattle and he invited all of us, including my Jazzy. _I was very excited about it!_

Well, my Jazzy begrudgingly took the Saturday off, but I thought that a little time away from work would do him good. There was no reason to tell him to work less as he was very stubborn stating that he needed the money for quality canvasses for his new pictures. At my insistence he came over that morning to help me decide on a dress. I really liked asking his opinion about these kinds of stuff because he had great taste and he always gave me great advice.

Jasper was lounging on my bed while I was in my closet looking at my clothes, and every time I found something I brought that back to my room and showed it to him. I put the clothes that he approved on the bed next to him and went back for more.

"You know I think you have enough clothes on the bed." He said after a while.

"But I still don't feel I have the right one." I informed him on my way back to the closet, but I still heard him chuckle at me. My latest quest took a little more time, but finally I found the perfect dress. It was a one shoulder dress with drapings at the shoulder and the hip in a vivid violet color, and it reached just above my knees. _It was perfect!_ Now I only needed my Jazzy's approval. I walked out of the closet proudly holding the dress in front of myself, but quickly lowered it when I didn't receive any reaction. I smiled fondly at the image of Jazz fast asleep on my bed. _My poor baby was really tired!_ I grabbed a blanket off my sofa and gently covered Jasper with it, and then I placed a soft kiss on his cheek. He didn't react so I walked out and softly closed the door. I went down to the living room to join the others. This time I didn't have to worry about Bella as yesterday I chose a dress for her and also gave her strict instruction about her hair and makeup. She was getting better and better at these girly things, but her taste was still questionable. So I joined my brothers and noticed that they were playing chess again. It was Emmett's latest passion and he sucked at it royally, he couldn't beat anyone, not even me. I sat down to have a great spot to watch him get his ass kicked. While Edward was thinking about his next move Emmett turned his attention to me.

"Hey, little sis!" He started. "Where did you leave Jazz?"

"He is in my room, but leave him alone. He fell asleep." I explained.

He raised an eyebrow. "Really? And what did you do to him?" He asked and his expression turned wicked. "I guess you just worn him out…" He teased me with his suggestive remark. I just rolled my eyes at him. But I decided that I had enough of him so I went to see my parent, but on my way to the kitchen I waked by their game, and hit Emmett on the head.

"Hey!" He cried in mock hurt.

My mom and dad were talking about something when I arrived to the kitchen.

"Hello, honey!" Mom greeted me. "Where is Jasper?" I guess it was very unusual that he was here, and I was still wandering alone.

"He fell asleep so I left him in my room to rest." I explained again.

"Oh, poor Jasper. He must be tired." Mom said, but I noticed that Dad was very focused on this conversation. So I raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

"Can I ask you something, Ali?" He started very cautiously.

"Sure." As long as you don't ask me about our activities…

"Didn't Jasper complain to you about being fatigued or dizzy? Things like that?" He asked in his doctor tone. I was immediately worried: did he think something was wrong with him? _Oh, God!_

"Well, no. He said that he had to work much recently, but he never complained about anything like that." I said after a minute of thinking. "Why? Do you think something is wrong with him?" I was sure my voice was dripping with worry.

Dad walked over to me and put a comforting arm around my shoulders. "Alice, I didn't want to worry you. I'm sure that Jasper is perfectly fine, and as you have said he just works too much." He assured me, but I could detect a lingering doubt in his eyes.

"Are you sure?" I asked still not convinced.

Dad thought for a moment before answering. "If you are this uneasy why don't you suggest him to see me at the hospital? I could run a couple of routine tests."

"Well, I can try." I said thoughtfully. "But Jazz is really stubborn."

"You don't say!" Mom interfered sarcastically. I knew I was just as stubborn.

After an hour or so I went back to my room to check on Jazzy, and I found him still on my bed, but this time he was sitting up. He looked so adorably crumpled and sleepy.

"Hey, sleepyhead, you are awake." I said softly, stepping in the room.

"Hey!" He said just as softly, and then yawned. "Sorry to fall asleep on you. How long was I out?" He asked.

"Don't be silly! You need your sleep, and you only slept an hour or so." I said still standing near the door and watching as he tried to get a sense of his surroundings.

"I have a question." He said and then continued while opening his arms. "What are you doing so far away?"

I giggled and ran at him full speed knocking him back on my bed. He grunted as a result of my weight on him, but he laughed just the same. I quickly straddled his waist and started kissing him in earnest. We hadn't been together in a while, and I started to get horny. What could I say? _I was a hormonal teenage girl with a very sexy boyfriend!_

"Alice!" He tried to pull away, but I would have none of that and I renewed my attack on his delicious lips. He used my distraction to his advantage and flipped us over so now he was on top.

"Alice!" He began again. "We have to stop!"

"Nooo." I whined. I really didn't want to stop. I wanted him.

"Believe me! I don't want to stop either, but your whole family is downstairs." I knew what he said made sense, but still. I sighed in disappointment.

"Sorry." I said after a while feeling a little embarrassed at my behavior.

He chuckled. "Don't be sorry. I want you, too just as much." He whispered, and with a last kiss he sat up and pulled me with him, too.

"So did you find any suitable dress? Or should we continue?" He asked gesturing to the pile of clothes on my bed.

"No, I found it." I said and proceeded to show him. And fortunately the dress got his approval, too.

Soon it was time to get ready and leave for Seattle as it was a long drive away. We decided to go in two cars, and everyone dreaded who would have to go in the Mercedes with Mom and Dad. Dad announced that as we were celebrating Rose and Emmett, they had to go with them. So Edward and I were off the hook.

I left Jasper in my room so he could change into his nice clothes although I desperately wanted to watch him undress. I gave him one of Dad's ties to put it on instead of his because that tie matched my dress. He did as he was told with a headshake. However, I couldn't question him about that because Bella arrived and I had to inspect her attire.

"You look great, Bella!" I told her sincerely. "Not a hair out of place."

"Thanks." Bella said and she seemed relieved. It was funny how scared she could get of me. _I couldn't be that bad, could I?_

We had a very nice time in Seattle. The restaurant was really beautiful and classy with its elegant furnishing and polite staff. The food was both delicious and tastefully arranged. We had spent the entire night with pleasant conversation, laughing and toasting at the graduating couple. But the best part was that I was with my Jazzy, and every now and then he reached over to squeeze my hand or kiss my cheek. He seemed happy again so in turn I was happy, too. We ended up staying there longer than intended, and our arrival to Forks would be well after midnight so Mom suggested that everybody stay the night at our house, in the guest rooms of course. But we all knew that there would be some sneaking around.

Back in the house I helped Mom prepare the spare rooms, and not long after everybody retired. I went to my bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. I put on a yellow camisole and a pair of silk shorts, and sneaked into the room where Jasper was placed. He wasn't in the room, but I saw that the bathroom door was shut. _Perfect!_ I hopped on his bed and sat Indian style waiting for him. However, when the bathroom door finally opened I sucked in a quick breath at the sight of my Jazzy clad only in a pair of grey boxer briefs, and his chest glistered from water drops.

"Alice!" He said very surprised at my presence in his bed. But quickly the sudden shock changed to a brilliant smile on his handsome face. "What are you doing here?"

"You didn't really think that I would leave you alone in such a big bed, did you?" I said with coquettish smile. He gaped at me. "I promise to be good." I winked him, and he laughed heartily at that.

He walked up to the bed and slipped under the covers with me. I got a thorough good night kiss, and we snuggled close together. I couldn't help myself and I started caressing his toned chest and occasionally I placed a kiss here and there.

"Alice!" He tried to sound stern, but it was closer to a moan. "You said you would be good."

"It's your fault." I said, and then captured his lips in a kiss full of want. I really wanted him, and at this point I didn't even care that the house was full of people. I was getting turned on by the idea that we would have to be very quiet. "Please, Jazz!" I moaned when we pulled apart.

A devilish smirk appeared on his handsome face. "Then you have to be really quiet!" And then he kissed me so deeply and passionately that I thought I was going to faint. "Can you do that?" He asked in a hushed tone.

"Yes." I breathed, and I hoped that I really could do it.

He wounded his hands around my waist and moved me slightly backward so that he was lying between my legs. I shivered in reaction when I felt that he was just as turned on as I was. I wanted to feel him more so I lifted my legs around his waist and pulled him down to me.

"Easy, darling!" He whispered and started kissing and licking my neck. My hands were in his soft hair massaging his scalp. He moved his kisses downward to the very tips of my breast where my camisole covered them. When his hand slipped down to the hem I knew he wanted to take it off, but that meant that I had to let go of his fine hair. But I guess the thought of his lips on my breasts excited me more so I complied and let him remove that useless piece of clothing.

"Oh, God!" I moaned as his soft lips closed around my left nipple. He immediately stopped.

"I thought you agreed to be quiet." He taunted me. _Well, easier said than done…_

"I will. Just please…" I trailed off as he got back to working on my breast. After a while he started moving down, and I realized what he wanted to do. But I was more than ready for him right now.

"No." I breathed out. He quickly looked at me no doubt thinking that he had hurt me. Well, in all honestly I had never stopped him before.

"I want you inside!" I said barely above a whisper. And then added for emphasis. "Please!"

He moaned a soft 'Fuck', and asked. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." I said while pushing down his boxer briefs. When they were finally off, we quickly removed my shorts, too. Finally, there was no barrier between us. Jasper kissed me fiercely and pushed my hands above my head, and kept them there. He tightened his grip as he slowly pushed into me.

"Mmm." I moaned. I loved feeling him inside me long and hard. He started an agonizingly slow pace, but when I started rotating my hips he was the one who moaned.

"I want… faster… harder…" I managed to pant out.

Then he lifted my legs higher so they were at the crook of his shoulder and started thrusting harder and faster. _Oh, God, this new angle was something fantastic!_ I felt my orgasm hurling out of my body, and I came harder than ever. I buried my face into his neck to stifle my groans and gasps. He lasted till another two thrusts and he finally came, too in long, strong jolts, and collapsed on top of me. I lay under him fully sated and spent.

He pulled back and said. "I love you."

"I love you, too." I said with a shit eating grin on my face. I groaned at the loss when he pulled completely out of me, but then he encircled me in his arms, and I fell asleep in that warm and safe place: in the arms of my Jazzy.

It seemed that April was the month of excitement. First, it was the great news about Emmett and Rose, and now Jasper's exhibition début was just at the corner. I was still put out by the fact that he didn't show me any of the pictures. He had said that he wanted me to see them in a professional environment, the way I had never seen them. I couldn't argue with that, but I still pouted for effect. The exhibition would open this Friday, and Jazz had already submitted all the eight pictures that were required of him, and he had arranged every necessary document about the sale, too. He was a nervous wreck as the days passed so much so that it took a toll on his health, too. _God, that stubborn fool!_ I tried again and again to convince him to see my dad about his weight loss and fatigue, but it was like talking to a brick wall. After long arguments on the topic we reached a compromise: if after the exhibition he still felt this way, he would go to the hospital to get a check-up. I wasn't entirely satisfied with this arrangement, but there really wasn't anything to do about it. So I kept my mouth shut, hoping that it really was just about nerves.

Finally it was Friday. Jazzy left school right after our last period ended. He had to be in Seattle by for o'clock, and he was going with his grandfather in their old car. Surprisingly my parents were invited to the exhibition as well. Come to think of it, it really wasn't that big of a surprise considering that Mom was a well-known interior designer, and my parents had a passion for the arts. Edward was also coming to show his support for his friend, and of course Bella had to be there with him. Emmett and Rose couldn't come because her parents wanted to celebrate them, too.

I was very busy getting ready for my Jazzy's big night. I had to look especially good tonight. For this purpose I chose a black skirt that had little white flowers on it, and a cute red blouse to go with it. I put on just a touch of makeup, but I kept it natural. I only needed my shoes, and as soon as Dad got ready we set out for Seattle.

Jazz was waiting for us at the entrance of the hall where the exhibition was held. He was still nervous, but thanked everyone for their support. He led me away from the group to introduce me to Mr. Tomzynski. He intertwined our fingers without any intention of letting go anytime soon. On the way he whispered huskily in my ear.

"You look ravishing tonight, darling!" I blushed slightly at his tone.

I watched with interest as a quite tall man – maybe in his forties – approached us with a huge smile plastered on his face. When he reaches us Jasper started the necessary introduction.

"Alice, this is Joe Tomzynski, and Joe this is my Alice." He finished with a gentle smile.

"Oh, I recognized you from the pictures, beautiful Alice." He said and placed a kiss on my hand. I giggled lightly both at this old fashioned gesture and in a little embarrassment.

"Thank you, Mr. Tomzynski." I said.

"Please, call me Joe." He added quickly. "I have to go. I'll be the one to open this whole mess." After that he quickly walked away.

"He seemed nice." I told Jasper.

"He is very nice and helpful. I'm very fortunate that fate led me here." He said softly.

"You seem calmer." I could help saying that. Something changed, and there was a certain glaze over his eyes. I don't know he seemed… feverish, maybe.

He chuckled. "I know. Grandpa gave me a thorough lashing and ordered me to focus. He really put me in my place." He said, and then added. "I really needed that."

A couple of minutes later the others joined us as the introduction of the exhibition began. There were a couple of speeches by the organizers, the representatives of the university and some honorable guests. During the whole time Jazz was clutching my hand like his life depended on it. I squeezed his hand in reassurance which earned me a soft smile. And when the exhibition was officially opened Jasper led our little group toward his pictures. It was safe to say that everybody was in awe of his talent and professionalism: those pictures could hold their own at any kind of exhibition. I didn't have the proper words to describe the magic that appeared on every single picture. There were some abstract ones with amazing colors, others with lifelike reality, but my favorite one was a collage. In its topic it was about the Civil War – what else – and it was depicted by the help of newspaper clipping that he made into looking authentic, photographs and some kind of material. It was breathtaking in its magnitude and utter chaos on the canvass.

It seemed that everybody was taken with his work. People after people walked up to him to congratulate him and to chat with him about his work. Some of them were from other universities in search for new talents. And my Jazzy acted perfectly cool and collected, answering their questions politely. I was so proud of him that my heart swelled with it in my chest! And I won our bet: the exhibition wasn't even over when all of his pictures were sold.

"It seems that I won our little bet." I whispered into his ears.

"So it seems." He said gently.

"You should never have bet against me!" I teased him.

All in all it was a wonderful evening!

The next day I was still under the influence of the previous evening. But an early morning phone call shattered my world to pieces…

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><p>Thanks for the reviews.<p>

And by the way, what a cliffhanger! Wouldn't you say so?


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 26

That morning I woke up at my usual time, it was only early compared to my brothers' waking time. As I got ready for the day I was thinking of Jasper. Well, I guess there was nothing unusual about that, but this morning I was specifically thinking about our bet that I had won. Finally I was going to see my Jazzy in designer clothes. I had waited for that for so long, and of course I knew exactly what kind of clothes I would get for him. Not that I would tell him that, no, that would ruin my fun because I wanted him to give me a fashion show. _Oh, God I couldn't wait!_ Last night we didn't agree on any specific date, but I was thinking maybe next Sunday. Jasper wouldn't work that day so we could spend the whole day together shopping. I smiled fondly at the memory how adorably flustered Jasper was yesterday by all the attention he got.

When I was finally ready to face the day ahead I went down to the kitchen to have breakfast with Mom and Dad, the only ones awake this early. However, I only met Mom in the kitchen.

"Good morning, Mom!" I greeted her cheerfully. "Where is Dad?" I asked while I moved to get my bowl of cereal.

"He was called into the hospital earlier. You know some kind of emergency." Mom explained while she sipped her coffee. As we sat there in companionable silence suddenly my cell started to ring. For a minute I simply looked at it in confusion: who would call me this early on a Saturday morning. None of my friends were up, I was sure of that. My confusion only grew when I checked the caller ID and it was Dad.

"It's Dad." I told Mom, but she was just as puzzled as I was.

"Hey, Dad! What's up?" I greeted him.

"Listen, Alice!" He started and his voice was full of concern. A sudden fear gripped my heart tightly. _What the hell was happening?_ "I need to tell you something, but I want you to try to remain calm. Can you do that?"

"I'll try. But what it is? You are scaring me." I told him quickly, but my voice trembled.

I heard him take a deep breath on the other side of the line. "Alright. Jasper was rushed into the hospital earlier in the morning…" I couldn't hear the rest of his explanation through the roaring of the blood in my ears. All I could comprehend was the fact that Jazz was in the hospital. After a little while I became aware of the fact that Dad was calling my name. "Alice? Are you still there?"

"I… Wha... I don't…" I couldn't utter anything coherent.

"Alice." Dad sighed deeply. "As I said the only thing we know for sure is that he has a very high fever, we are running tests. But I thought you would want to know." He explained again.

"But how is he now? Can I visit him?" I asked rapidly.

"Well, he is sleeping now, but I guess you can come." Dad replied.

"I'll be there as soon as I can." I promised.

"Just be careful! And don't drive in that state!" Dad warned me worriedly, and then we hung up.

"What happened, honey?" Mom asked and she was extremely worried. I had just realized that my tears were streaming down my face. _I wasn't even aware of crying!_

"Jasper is… in… hospital." I stuttered out, and I couldn't hold it together any more. I started to sob violently. I didn't know how long I was crying, but I was very aware of my mother's comforting arms around me. And when finally I was able to concentrate I saw that Edward was with us in the kitchen, too.

"Ali, I'll drive you to the hospital." He promised softly. I guess Mom had told him what had happened. I nodded in agreement and we started walking toward the garage.

"Please call me when you know anything!" Mom shouted after us.

The ride to the hospital was silent and nerve wracking, and it seemed agonizingly slow even though I knew that Edward was driving well above the speed limit. When we arrived at last, Dad was waiting for us at the entrance.

"How is he?" I asked immediately when he was in hearing distance.

"He is just the same, his fever is still high. He is sleeping and he is stable for now." He answered. I guess that was as good as it could get.

"Can I see him?" I asked eagerly.

"Yes. I have already asked Herbert's permission. Follow me!" Dad said and started to walk toward the elevators. _Oh, I had completely forgotten about Jasper's grandfather!_ How worried he must be!

We went to the third floor and Dad showed me the room. He paused before opening the door and said.

"Alice! I want to warn you that Jasper has a nasty bruise on the left side of his face." I gasped in shock. "We presume it is from his fall." I didn't really understand him, but I nodded anyway to get inside his room sooner.

He and Edward stayed behind in the corridor. I hesitantly knocked on the door, but stepped in before I received an answer. It was a private room, and I saw Jasper sleeping on that white bed while his grandfather was sitting in the chair next to it. _He looked like hell! _I guess I did, too. But my main focus was on the sleeping boy. There was a tube in his nose providing him with oxygen and there was an IV stand next to his bed. He looked so pale and small on that bed, and that bruise was horrible. Even though Dad had warned me I gasped loudly and I started crying again.

"Miss Alice!" The tired voice of Mr. Jackson caught my attention.

I turned to him. "Can I ask what happened?" I asked cautiously and started walking towards them.

He sighed and closed his eyes at the painful memory. "When I woke up this morning and went downstairs to have breakfast Jasper wasn't in the kitchen. It was very unusual. So I waited for a couple of minutes than decided to see what was keeping him…" His voice choked. He paused for a while to gather his thoughts. "I went to his room, and when he didn't answer to the knock I went inside. I found him… lying on the floor… and…"His voiced broke off again. I walked over to him and placed my hand on his shoulder in comfort. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it, and for the first time since I entered he looked at me. "And blood was running from his nose." I gasped in horror, but he continued. "I tried to wake him or just make the bleeding stop, but I failed. And then… I called an ambulance and here we are. Your father immediately ran some tests and we are waiting for the results." He finished with another deep sigh.

I tried to take everything in. "And he never woke up?"

"No, his fever is too high and he is too weak to fight it. He is completely exhausted, he barely has any energy." He answered and his eyes were on Jazz again.

So we sit there in silence completely helpless, all we could do was to wait. Wait for those test results, wait for him to fight and to wake up. My mind was still reeling with all the information I received this morning. I knew that something was wrong with him. Why did he lie to me about it? It clearly was more serious than he had told me. How could he do that? _Oh, God please let him be alright!_ Nothing had mattered just that he would be alright.

Suddenly Mr. Jackson's voice broke the silence. "You know this was the second time I had found Jasper in a state like this. But that first time burnt into my memory with clarity. I would never be able to forget that horrible sight…" He said and covered his face with his right hand. "I thought that I would never have to relive that experience of utter helplessness."

I knew that I should say something comforting, but I couldn't say a word. I was just as helpless as he was. And I also knew that he wasn't in the present with me, his mind was back in Texas, in another similar hospital room not so long ago. I decided to keep quiet and turned my attention back to my Jazzy. He was sleeping soundly, but his breathing was shallow. I was studying the fine features of his handsome face: he had dark circles under his eyes, he was pale and stubble covered his chin. But that large bruise was the most prominent feature on his face at the moment. Still he was my Jazzy, the most gorgeous boy in the world. I sat down in a chair at the other side of him and reached for his hand that I never wanted to let go, and I immediately felt how hot he was. I had no idea how much time had passed, it could have been an hour or a mere ten minutes, I had lost any sense of time. Dad came in at regular intervals to check on his fever that was still too high. But unfortunately during my father's next visit he scared me even more.

"Well, his fever doesn't show any signs of dropping." He frowned. "The drugs I gave him should help him fight the fever and let him sleep, but he is in a very fragile and weak state." He explained to me and Mr. Jackson. "We will just have to wait."

"Do you know anything yet?" Mr. Jackson asked.

"I had a couple of guesses, but nothing sure yet." Dad answered diplomatically.

"What kind of guesses?" Jasper's grandfather pressed on.

"I don't want to say anything at this point." Dad kept perfectly calm. "None of my guesses are any good. I'm hoping that it is different from my suspicion."

"When will you know?" I asked in a whisper.

"As soon as the results will be ready which take time." He said, and then turned to me. "I sent Edward home." _Oh, shit!_ I was the worst sister ever! I had completely forgotten that Edward was waiting outside. Dad must have read the expression on my face because he whispered into my ear. "Don't worry! He understands." And with that he left the room.

As I still felt really guilty I decided to send a text to Edward.

_I'm sorry. The only thing I can focus on is Jazz now. Sorry X_

His reply was very quick. _Don't worry about me. Keep me updated about Jazz. X_

I sighed in relief, and I felt a little less guilty. My mind wandered back to Jazzy. Please God don't let it be anything serious. I can't loose him, he means the world to me. Although I could strangle him for his carelessness, that stubborn fool. If only he had listened to me… But I will give him a piece of my mind if he wakes up. _No!_ Not if, when he wakes up. I mustn't think like that. I will have plenty opportunity to scold him.

I felt like that hours dragged on and on endlessly, but still there wasn't any news about those results. And Jasper's fever didn't seem to want to break any time soon, and I was getting more and more worried. And to make things worse there was a big accident and Dad was too occupied with the new patients to check up with the lab. I was contemplating of going out and look for him when I sucked in a quick breath because my eyes met with a pair gorgeous blue eyes.

"Jazz!" I cried. His eyes were unfocused and glazed over, but they were open.

"Son, can you hear me?" Mr. Jackson asked eagerly.

"Yes." Jasper whispered barely audibly. He was very weak. I suddenly realized that we should call my dad to see that Jazz has woken up.

"I call my dad!" I announced and hurried out to look for him.

I didn't get too far as I met him just at the corner.

"Dad! He woke up!" I cried making a few people look at us.

Dad looked serious and he was holding a file in his hand. My heart sank to the pit of my stomach. Was that the test results? What will happen?

"Then we should go." He said simply.

When we arrived to the room Mr. Jackson was helping Jasper drink a glass of water.

"Hello, Jasper. I'm happy to see you awake." Dad said calmly while stepping to the end of the bed. I hurried to my spot next to his bed and without thinking grabbed his hand again. He looked at me a little confused and my heart sank when I saw no recognition in those beautiful eyes.

"So Jasper, do you know where you are?" Dad asked.

Jasper's eyes swept over the room zeroing in on the IV bag that was connected to his hand. "Hospital." He rasped.

"Yes, and do you know why?" Dad continued his interrogation while checking his temperature.

"I have a guess." Jazz said.

"Can you tell me what it is?" Dad asked suspiciously. _Okay, what the hell is going on_?

"I fell again." Jazz said in a cold and detached voice. I had never been more confused in my entire life. What the hell was he talking about?

"Again?" Dad questioned.

"Yes, I'm clumsy. Look, I really need to go home." He said and moved to get up. He didn't really have energy to even lift his covers, but Dad moved quickly to stop him.

"I'm afraid you can't do that." He said softly.

A horrified expression crossed his face. "You told my father?" His breathing picked up and he started hyperventilating. Dad quickly moved to a desk, pulled an injection out and gave that to Jasper. Both Mr. Jackson and I looked at the events in muted horror. As soon as Dad lifted away the emptied needle Jasper was fast asleep.

"What the hell was that?" Mr. Jackson asked after a couple of minutes.

"He wasn't really awake, he was hallucinating as a result of his fever." Dad explained. I sighed in relief. He didn't go insane, he was just delusional from his fever. But soon I frowned again as that couldn't be good for him.

"I gave him a very strong sedative and I'm hoping that his long sleep would break that fever before it does damage to his brain." Dad said. Will the horrors of this day never end? Silent tears ran down my cheeks.

"Do you know what is wrong with him?" Jasper's grandfather asked eventually.

Dad looked at me and then at Mr. Jackson. "Come with me and I can tell you in private." Dad said. It hurt a little, but I knew the hospital protocol: I wasn't a family member so Dad couldn't talk in front of me.

"You can tell me here. I'm sure Jasper would want Alice to know it, too." Mr. Jackson said, but he sounded agitated. I sent him a thankful look. We both looked at Dad expectantly.

"The results of the blood tests show that Jasper probably has Aplastic anemia." He stated calmly. "I will need to do a biopsy to confirm it."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"It's a very rare blood disorder when the bone marrow stops making enough red blood cells, white blood cells, and platelets. And judging from his weakness, bleeding and bruising it is unfortunately severe." Dad explained. And I was dumbfounded.

"Bruises?" I asked. Dad said that bruise was from his fall and I didn't notice any other bruises. Well, it's true that it had been a while since I saw him naked, and it had been dark, too. Plus in all honesty I concentrated on one specific part of his anatomy…

"Yes, he has some on his legs and chest." Dad seemed uneasy. I suddenly realized that he had seen Jasper's scars and the incision on his stomach. What could he think about that? Especially after Jazz's little episode. I was sure that he had figured it all out. Mr. Jackson seemed surprised, too. So I wasn't only one whom my Jazzy kept in the dark. That eased a bit my hurt, maybe it wasn't about not trusting me. Maybe it was about something entirely different.

"What can we do now?" The voice of Mr. Jackson broke my train of thought.

"He would need blood transfusion, but I will have to consult with a specialist. However, a bigger problem is that his blood type is AB negative, the rarest blood type. And we don't have that in store." Dad finished.

_Oh, God!_ Why does Jasper have to be so damn special? What would happen now?

"Can you tell me your blood type?" Dad asked Jasper's grandfather.

"It's no good. It's B positive." He sighed in resignation, but his features hardened somehow. Before I could contemplate the reasons behind that suddenly Dad's eyes light up.

"I have an idea. Emmett's blood type is AB negative, too. He can help!" His words gave me hope, but than I remembered something.

"But Dad, you know how he is freaked out about hospitals and needles." This situation couldn't get any worse.

"I'm sure if you ask him, he will help. He would do anything for you." Dad said with a comforting hand on my shoulder. I looked back at Mr. Jackson, and his eyes were pleading with me to try. I pulled out my cell phone.

"I will go and call him." I said.

I only stepped out of the room, but stayed at the door. Emmett answered his phone on the second ring.

"Hey, little sis! How is Jazz?" He asked immediately and I heard Mom and Edward in the background asking questions, too. I told everything to Emmett about Jazz's condition and finally I got to the point.

"He will need blood transfusion and you have the same blood type. Please, please would you help him? The hospital doesn't have any in store." I was begging now, but I didn't care. And of course I was crying again. It seemed that was the only thing I was capable of doing: crying all day long. I needed his help more than anything.

I heard him take a deep breath. "When should I be there?" He asked.

I could have shouted with joy. "Thank you so much. The sooner the better."

"Then I will leave now. See you in a couple of minutes." He said, and then added. "And you don't have to thank me, I know how much Jazz means to you. And you know that he is my friend, too."

We hung up and I hurried back to the room to tell the others the good news. It was settled that Dad and I should wait for Emmett in front of the hospital, and then lead him to Dad's office to make it easier on him. I hated the thought of leaving Jazz even for a minute, but I knew that Emmett was doing me a favor that was uncomfortable to him. The least I could do was to show him support.

"Don't worry, Alice! I will look after him." Mr. Jackson said in reassurance when it was time for us to leave.

"I know." I said, and then whispered to Jasper. "I'll be back soon, sweetheart." And I placed a soft kiss on his forehead that was still too warm.

Dad and I didn't have to wait long before we saw the huge jeep turn into the parking lot of the hospital. As soon as the engine stopped Emmett effortlessly hopped out of his car and hurried toward us. He immediately picked me up in a huge bear hug.

"You look like hell, little sis." He whispered into my ear, but out loud he only said. "Don't worry I'm here to save the day." He put me down and winked at me. I was grateful for his attempt to lighten my mood, but now only Jasper would be able to do that.

"We should go!" Dad said urging us toward the entrance. I saw Emmett gulp as he took in the building, but followed Dad wordlessly.

In his office Dad proceeded to take his blood without any further delay. As soon as the needle made it close to his arm Emmett shut his eyes tightly. I stepped next to him and grabbed his other hand. He opened his eyes to look at me in thanks.

"You should concentrate on me instead." I told him to take his mind away from the procedure.

"Then tell me something interesting." He challenged. And we started to talk about his future plans in California.

After a while Dad announced. "All done!" I looked at him, but Emmett kept his head turned away from the sight of his blood. "Emmett stay seated and eat this." Dad handed him a chocolate bar.

"Cool!" He grinned and grabbed the chocolate.

"I know you probably don't want to hear it, but I need you to repeat this in a couple of days' time." Dad warned him, and Emmett simply nodded in understanding.

"What happens now?" I asked eagerly.

"I will take the blood to be tested and if everything is fine I give it to Jasper." Dad explained.

"How long will that take?" I asked again.

"About an hour." Dad told me, and then added. "Anyway it doesn't really matter now. First we have to break his fever before we could give him the transfusion."

I nodded and turned to Emmett. "Thank you very much." I hugged him. "Would you mind if I returned to Jazz?"

He smiled. "No, go ahead!"

When I returned to Jasper's room everything was the same so I sat down in my earlier spot, took Jazz's hand in mine and continued watching him sleep. I sighed deeply as I knew that the time for me to leave was fast approaching. I didn't want to leave, not even for a minute, but Dad told me that he wouldn't allow me to stay the night, and warned again that I had to go to school the next day. I knew that I wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything in the school, but I didn't argue because I planned to be back here as soon as humanly possible. I made Mr. Jackson promise me that he would inform me if anything happened, it didn't matter what time it was.

At home Mom waited for me with a big, but gentle hug and comforted me as best she could. Everyone was very supportive, but I wanted to be alone to think over things. So now I was lying on my bed thinking how one day could turn into a nightmare so quickly. Yesterday I was perfectly happy being with Jasper at his exhibition, and today… He was in hospital completely drained from any energy, suffering from a very rare disease which outcome was very questionable at this point. But I was determined that I would be there with him every step of the way, and there would be nothing that could sway me, not even him. I knew my Jazzy fairly well by now and I knew how hard and strange it was for him to accept any kind of help. But I would do anything in my power to help because I could never give up on him. I had never been able to do that earlier and I wouldn't even try now. Jasper was my soul mate, my other half, he couldn't die. Not now, not until we had a long and happy life together.

I cried myself to sleep that night, and unfortunately that was only the first one in the row of many.

As I had predicted I couldn't concentrate at school that day although my mind was able to relax a bit when I got a text from Dad saying that Jasper's fever was finally down. It was only a matter of time till he woke up. I couldn't wait for the school to end because I wanted to be with Jazz and wanted to there when he woke up.

After school Edward dropped me off at the hospital and I hurried inside. Almost nothing had changed since the previous day. Jasper was in the same state: asleep, but at least he didn't have fever and his breathing was more even. I sighed when I took in Mr. Jackson's appearance. He looked very tired, still in his clothes from yesterday that were crumpled from no doubt sleeping in them.

I took my spot next to my Jazzy, and then asked his grandfather. "You didn't leave?"

"No." He said simply, but at my frowning expression he added. "I will go home for a bit when I talked to him. I need to know that he is well, and coherent." I nodded in understanding. I made a promise to myself that while my Jazzy was in hospital I would look after his grandfather, too. I knew how much that old man meant to him.

I had no idea how much time elapsed, but meanwhile I made quick work of my homework. I was thinking about a rather difficult math problem, and as a habit I looked at Jasper. His grandfather was dozing in his chair so I only blinked at him for a couple of minutes till reality hit me. I watched in fascination as his eyes fluttered open and he tried to get a grip of his surroundings. Soon his eyes were focused on me, and I noted happily that they were a bit more focused than the last time.

"You are awake." I stated dumbly not knowing whether he was himself or he would be delusional again. Dad chose that moment to walk in to check on him.

"Hey, how are you?" I asked Jazz softly grabbing his hand.

"I'm fine…" He said, but it sounded more like a question. Dad decided that it was time for him to take over the questioning.

"Well, I have a couple of question for you. But first, Alice." He turned to me. "Could you please leave us alone for a minute?" He asked, but it wasn't optional. I was about to stand up when Jasper's grip on my hand tightened.

"She can stay." He said again. And we all could see how this little speaking was exhausting him.

"Are you sure?" Dad asked one final time. Jasper simply nodded.

"How long have you been feeling fatigued and dizzy?" Dad continued in his doctor mode.

"I'm not sure…" Jazz trailed off.

"More than a month?" Dad asked. And again Jasper just nodded. I was furious with him for keep that from me for months. Every time I had asked he blamed work for it even though he suspected it was something different. At this point I couldn't figure out his reasons for it, but I remembered my determination from yesterday. Despite my doubts I had to focus on the conversation at hand.

But dad continued his interrogation while writing everything down. "When the paramedics found you, your nose was bleeding. Did that happen before?"

"A couple of times." Jazz answered weakly. All this questioning was draining him.

"Did the bleeding stop quickly or it took time?" Dad asked again.

"For the first time it stopped almost immediately, but then it took time…" Jazz finished in barely above a whisper, and his eyes were closing.

"Jasper." My dad called his attention. "Do you remember talking to me earlier?"

Jazz frowned and shook his head in the negative. So Dad gave him an overview about that conversation, and then proceeded to tell him about his illness. Jasper took everything very well actually, so well that I wondered whether he was fully awake this time or not.

"… and now you need blood transfusion. But before we could start your treatment, I need to do a bone marrow biopsy." Dad finished his explanation.

So Dad sent everybody out of the room to do the biopsy in private. By the time we went back to the room Dad had finished his work, and Jasper was fast asleep.

"We need to let him rest now, but when we wakes up again we will start the transfusion." Dad told us calmly. I couldn't tear my eyes away from Jazz. He had woken up; I couldn't help feeling encouraged by it.

Dad told us the good news that Emmett's blood would be perfect for my Jazzy. _Thank God for little miracles!_ So now we only waited for Jasper to wake up. And finally that happened, too while Dad was checking on him again. So he didn't waste any more time and the blood transfusion had begun. I noticed that Jasper was facing away from the bag, and cocked a questioning eyebrow at him.

"It's too weird to watch." He explained in a whisper. I nodded in understanding and when I saw his hand weakly reach for me I was at his side in an instant squeezing his hand. I knew it was not the time to scold him, but he noticed the change in my countenance anyway.

"Something you want to say?" He asked with a weak smile.

"You bet there is." I said in a teasing voice. "But I'll wait till you are strong enough to take it." He laughed a little at my warning. _But I wasn't joking… _

When the blood transfusion was completed he was so tired again that he fell back asleep.

* * *

><p>So what do you think?<p>

I'm going to continue his struggle with the illness in Jasper's point of view.

PS. I'm not a doctor, but I will do my best to portray this disease as realistically as I can.


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 27

JPOV

I woke up feeling disoriented and fatigued again. I looked around my room and noted that I was alone so I concluded that it was night. I still had a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that I was in hospital again, and with a rare blood condition. In all honesty I didn't really understand this disease, I always felt too tired to comprehend it. I sighed deeply: I hated being in hospital and God knows I had my fair share of hospital experience in the past. Especially the last time… I cringed at the memories that assaulted my tired mind about the surgery and the long recovery process afterwards.

I didn't remember falling asleep, but I must have because the next time I opened my eyes grandpa was talking to Dr. Cullen in my room. Alice wasn't there so it was in the morning. The only way I could tell the time was by judging from Alice's presence: if she was there it was afternoon or the evening, if she wasn't it was at night or in the morning. But I had no idea how long I have been here, my last memory was about the exhibition in Seattle, but even that memory was kind of foggy. Suddenly I became aware of a sharp pain in my arm, and when I looked down I saw that there was a huge bruise at the place where the IV was inserted.

"Good morning, Jasper!" Dr. Cullen greeted me pleasantly. "How are you feeling?"

I thought he should know better, but I only replied. "The same."

"I see that you noticed the absence of the IV in your arm." He stated. "I was just explaining to your grandfather that we should implant a medi-port below your neck to avoid further bruising."

I looked at him blankly. "A medi-what?"

"A medi-port is an implanted catheter. In the future you will need more blood transfusions, medications and blood tests, and as you can see from your arm that you are not in the condition to receive them in the general way because of the low number of platelets in your blood. With a medi-port we will lessen the risk of bruising and infection." Dr. Cullen explained in a slow, deliberate way.

"How is it implanted?" I asked curiously.

"It's a very easy procedure." He stepped closer and he pointed to right side of my upper chest, below my neck. "With a little incision here we implant the port and you will receive your next dose of blood transfusion through that." Another incision meaning another scar. If this keeps up sooner or later I am going to like Frankenstein's monster.

"And when do you want to do that?" I asked resigned to my fate.

"Well, that depends on whether you can stay awake for an hour or so." He told me.

"I guess I can." I told him truthfully. I felt tired, but not my usual fatigue.

"Perfect. Than I do the necessary preparations and I will return in about 20 minutes." Dr. Cullen said calmly, and left me alone with grandpa.

"Are you sure you can handle it?" He asked worriedly. I sighed. I hated how worried everybody was about me, not to mention their constant hovering. My irritation grew.

"Yes." I said a little sharper than I intended, but fortunately grandpa wasn't fazed by that. It suddenly occurred to me that that I had a couple of questions I wanted to ask him.

"How long I have been here?" I asked in my normal tone.

"It's Wednesday which means it's your fourth day here." He told me.

"What about school? Or work? Or…" He didn't let me finish.

"Stop right there, son. Try to rest instead of worrying over those things." He said, but when he saw the lingering worry in my eyes he continued with a sigh. "You can't concentrate just on yourself, can you? I talked to your boss and explained everything. He wished you well, and said that your job will be waiting for you when you recovered. And I also informed the school, but their reaction is depending on the length of your absence."

Well, at least my job was safe. Now I only had to figure out how long I would be here this time. I decided to ask Dr. Cullen about it. And as he promised 20 minutes later he returned with a nurse and his equipments. He walked up to me with the nurse who gently removed my covers and then exposed my chest.

"Okay, Jasper, now I'm going to give you local anesthesia." He showed me the needle. I only nodded in reply and he started the procedure. While we were waiting for the anesthesia to take effect I asked my question.

"Do you know how long I will have to stay in hospital?" I asked a little hopeful.

But that little hope was dimmed when I saw him frowning. "I don't think you understand the severity of your condition. It's a very serious illness. I don't know how long, but one thing is sure that it won't be in the near future." He said and proceeded to start the surgery.

Well, I guess this means I am going to be here for a while. I wonder whether the school would let me take the necessary exams from here. As I was thinking about this my focus slowly dimmed and I felt more and more tired. By the time the doctor finished the procedure I was at the weird state of being half asleep and half awake.

"Rest now." I faintly heard someone saying.

Another waking up experience, but at least now I was rewarded by the beautiful sight of my Alice sitting in the chair to my right. We were alone in the room, and she was reading a book so she didn't notice I was awake. I used that opportunity to study her and frowned: she looked tired, too. _That's not how she should look!_ Look what I have done again! She was tired and worried because of me again. I knew I wasn't good enough for her, she deserved someone much better. Someone who was healthy and made her happy instead of always making her frustrated and worried. What the fuck does she even see in me?

My musings were interrupted by her lovely voice. "Jazzy, you are awake!" She sounded happy.

"Yeah." I rasped feeling how dry my mouth was. I turned my head to locate a glass of water, but I felt too tired to reach for it. _I was pathetic!_ Alice must have seen my preoccupation because she asked. "Do you want some water?"

I nodded mutely. Alice hopped off her chair and hurried to the bedside table and lifted the glass to my lips and helped me drink it. I studied her features while she was doing it. It was strange: she didn't seem to be put out by that, it was the opposite actually, she seemed almost happy to do it. My tired mind couldn't come up with an explanation for it so I decided to leave it alone for now. She sat back in her chair, but she didn't continue reading.

"What are you doing?" I asked nodding toward her book.

"Believe it or not, I was studying Spanish." She grinned at me, no doubt remembering our fun little study sessions. Her good mood was affecting me again and I felt lighter. It was a nice feeling for a change.

"Need some help with that?" I asked returning her smile.

"Nah. I'm good." I knew she was saying that to spare me. I sighed and changed the subject.

"Where is grandpa?" I asked.

"I sent him home. He needed his rest, too." I frowned at that. I didn't want him to strain himself because of me. My frown deepened when I realized that while I was in hospital he had to take care of himself which meant either fast food or his own weird creations.

Alice placed her hand on my cheek. "Don't worry about him. Mom and I will take care of him." She said gently.

"Thank you." I said softly, but I was overwhelmed with gratitude and squeezed her hand. I really didn't deserve such a good person.

"Now it's my turn of questioning." She stated. I raised an eyebrow at her in indication to continue. "What is that?" She pointed to my chest.

I looked down and saw the bandage that she pointed at. I thought for a minute, my mind was still a bit muddled.

"Oh," I said as I remembered "your father implanted a medi-port for easier access." I explained, but saw that she didn't understand. So I lifted my other hand to show it.

She gasped. "What the hell happened?"

"Well, it seems that my veins couldn't take the IV any longer." I explained, but I was distracted by the fact that lifting my hand even for a second was much more that I could handle. _It must be a hell of a disease!_ I have never been this tired. Alice examined the bandage around my newest scar, and frowned.

"What that frown is about?" I asked lightly.

"Look!" She pointed to my chest, but realized that I couldn't see it. "You have a large bruise here, too."

The next couple of days passed in a similar fashion with me being asleep most of the time. The bruise on my chest where the medi-port was inserted was extremely huge and in a deep purple color. So much so about avoiding them, but at least the others started healing. However, after I received my second dose of blood transfusion my health improved, and I was scheduled to have blood transfusion on a weekly basis. So much better that I became aware that the others had visited me, too all of them: Bella, Rose, and Edward and even Emmett. I had to wear a mask when other people were around me to avoid infections as the number of white cells in my blood was still very low. Alice had told me about Emmett's dislike of hospitals and I also knew that I was receiving his blood. So the next time I was coherent I decided to thank him.

"Thanks, Emmett. For the blood."

"It's okay." He dismissed it with a hand gesture. However, I knew better, but I let it go as I didn't want to make him uncomfortable. After a while a teasing glint appeared in his eyes. "You know you are like a little vampire now. Draining my blood." I smiled at his silly joke. They started chatting about school and other stuff, but I was only half listening instead I was watching Alice. She seemed calmer and more relaxed. I noticed that she was paying about as much attention to the present conversation as I was. Our eyes locked in their usual trance all emotions clear in them. She flashed me a gorgeous smile, and placed a gentle kiss on my hand that she was holding. We weren't really allowed to kiss because of the fear of infection, but we couldn't resist, and I stole a couple of kisses.

I was able to stay awake for more extended periods of time, and I could even sit up in bed. And as my mind was clearing up, too I was able to concentrate on my problems. The most urgent of my problems was Alice. I felt confused about her again. I knew I loved her more than anyone in this world, and she was the most important person in my life. And she made the days in the hospital bearable. But at what price? My problem was whether I was worth it for her to be with me despite my condition. I had finally comprehended the full meaning of this disease. It was possible that I wasn't going to make it at all. I was close to death again, and I couldn't help, but wonder whether it was fate's way of saying that I wasn't destined for a long life. And Alice didn't deserve to be chained to a dying person, somehow I should let her go. _But that was easier said than done…_ I always backed out of that conversation at the last minute as it was really something that I didn't want to do, and the angry flash of her green eyes didn't help matters. She suspected that something was up, but she was determined again, and I knew more than anyone else how stubborn she could be. So there was only one option: I had to make her break up with me. But how I could do that was beyond me! It was weird that I was more worried about grandpa and Alice's reaction to my dying than dying itself. This whole mess brought up those numbing feelings from before grandpa saved me. I felt detached from myself.

A gentle knock on the door roused me from my musings.

"Ah, I see you are awake." It was Dr. Cullen. He was a very good doctor both at the medical side and the human side. As I took him in I saw that he held in his hand the results of my latest blood test, and I also saw that it wouldn't be good from the expression on his face.

"So how am I?" I asked him nodding to the results.

He sighed before speaking. "Not good. Although you have healthy blood in your system from the transfusion, it didn't stimulate your bone marrow as I hoped it would. And I am afraid it could get worse."

I guess this was it for me, then. "But I don't understand. I feel better. How can it get any worse?"

"You are feeling better because of the amount of fresh and healthy blood. But I need another bone marrow biopsy because I'm afraid that it started to shut down." He finished his explanation softly.

I frowned at the memory of the last biopsy, it wasn't a pleasant experience.

"I think it may help if we can determine the cause of this illness." He said and paused for a minute. "So I need to ask a few questions."

"Shoot!" I answered honestly.

Dr. Cullen started to do the biopsy while asking all kinds of questions about possible toxins I came in contact with, he suggested tests about viral infections, and he asked me about drugs both medical and recreational. I felt a little embarrassed about talking about this with my girlfriend's father. I was very aware of the fact that Dr. Cullen knew probably everything about my past including the abuse from my father. As grandpa informed me everything about that was in my medical file. But I had to hand it to Dr. Cullen, he was very discreet about it. Meanwhile his questioning wandered into dangerous territory, but fortunately that awful biopsy was over.

"Do you know any diseases on your parents' side?" He asked cautiously.

"I think you should ask grandpa about that." I answered honestly not understanding his meaning at first.

"What about your father's side?" He asked looking at me worriedly.

I immediately tensed at the mention of him. "What about him?"

"Do you know any disease on his side that you might have inherited?" He pressed on.

Sure, isn't alcoholism a disease? I asked myself silently, but refrained from uttering that out loud. "I don't know." This conversation was making me very uncomfortable.

"Do you think there is any way to find out?" He asked tentatively.

"No!" I snapped. There was no way in hell I was going to talk to that bastard. I rather die than do that. My breathing picked up as a sure sign of my agitation.

"Okay. Try to calm down. We can drop this subject." Dr. Cullen's worry only grew as my breathing didn't start to slow. I was trying to breath, but no air made it to my lungs. And suddenly everything went black…

When I woke up next it was bright, but I was alone. It was strange and I didn't have any way of knowing what time it was. I heard a strange beeping sound, and looking in the direction of that annoying noise I saw that it was a heart monitor, and that annoying beeping was actually my heart beat. _Great!_ Another medical stuff that was connected to my body. I was looking at the monitor when I heard the door open and watched as grandpa stepped into the room trying to be silent.

"Hey, grandpa!" I greeted him, and then laughed a little as I saw him jump a bit in fright.

"Jesus! Jasper, you almost gave me a heart attack!" He said clutching his chest.

"Well, we are in a hospital…" I teased him. He smiled at me.

"I see you are in a better mode." He said solemnly. "Dr. Cullen told me what happened."

"And what happened?" I asked curiously, and then I remembered. "Oh. How long was I out?"

He checked his watch. "About two hours." He hesitated before continuing. "Dr. Cullen suggested the heart monitor as he wasn't sure whether your fainting was a result of a panic attack or a bad reaction to one of your medications."

I cocked an eyebrow at him. "How much he knows exactly?"

"About your father?" He asked and at my nod continued. "Everything, and I also told him about Dr. Simmons. We both think that you need to continue your therapy with her."

"Why?" I asked as that was strange. And I was sure that he was keeping something from me. "Tell me!" I pressed as he kept silent.

He eyed the heart monitor. "I will wait until Dr. Cullen can be present."

_What the fuck was going on?_ I studied his face to gather a better idea about the situation. He looked pale and tired, but the look in his eyes frightened me the most. His eyes were pained and hollowed, and he was looking at me in a way that he had never done before. I didn't understand his expression: it was somewhere between absolute fear and utter helplessness. Fortunately I didn't have to wonder for much longer as after a couple of minutes of tensed silence Dr. Cullen arrived. As Alice wasn't here I concluded it was still morning.

When the doctor arrived he was silent, too. That was very unusual.

"What is going on?" I asked trying to fight back my frustration.

"Alright, Jasper. You should calm down." Dr. Cullen tried to smooth me. If only he say something…

"The latest biopsy result shows that unfortunately your bone marrow started to shut down completely." He informed me. I guess it means that I'm screwed!

"And?" I prompted.

"And there is only one option is available for you: bone marrow transplant." He said, and hesitated before speaking up again. "That is a very risky procedure as we have to find the perfect donor which is hard enough without considering the rarity of your blood type. And, in general, the best candidates are family members…" He trailed off.

I hope he wasn't suggesting what I though he was suggesting. I knew that my father had the same blood type as I did, but there was no way in hell I would ask him for help. Even if I did, I knew his answer in advance which is a big, resounding no. He would simply laugh at me and offer to meet up in hell.

"And other possible candidates? Grandpa, for example?" I asked trying to gain time.

"Jasper," Dr. Cullen admonished me gently "Your grandfather isn't a match. I know you don't want to hear it, but we have to get in contact with your father, and..."

I didn't let him finish his explanation. "Why? I know his answer would be no. We would really spare some time if we look at different options." I tried to reason with them.

"You don't know that for sure." Grandpa intervened.

"Oh, I don't?" I asked sarcastically. "I was the one who lived with that bastard wishing I was dead. And the last time I was in a hospital wasn't because he tried to kill me, right? We would just give him the satisfaction of knowing that he still can kill me even from behind the bars." I almost shouted, and unfortunately that was the exact moment we heard the door shut.

I looked past Dr. Cullen and my grandfather to see Alice crestfallen face and the tears glistening in her eyes. _Fuck!_ I can't handle all of this, I wanted out of it. I wanted to disappear, I wanted to be alone.

Dr. Cullen turned around, and asked softly. "Alice! Could you leave us alone?"

"What is going on?" She asked in a trembling voice.

"Alice, please!" Dr. Cullen tried again, but Alice's features took on that determined stand.

"I'm not leaving until somebody tells me what is going on!" She cried her earlier fear evaporated. Dr. Cullen sighed, he knew her daughter too well.

"Excuse us for a minute." He said, and grabbed Alice's hand and escorted her out of the room.

I turned to look at grandpa, and he was determined, too. _Fuck!_ I couldn't fight all of them.

"I didn't want to bring it up, but you are forcing my hand." He started confidently. "You will be eighteen in a month, but till than I'm responsible for all your medical decisions. And I decided that we will get in contact with your father whether you like it or not." There was an eerie finality in his voice.

Like I said I was royally screwed. "Fine." I said finally sulking. "But I take no part in that." Fucking hell no!

We simply stared at each other. Our staring match was interrupted by Alice's reappearance. Her eyes were puffy from her earlier crying, but other than that she looked as beautiful as always. Instead of talking to me as I had expected she turned to grandpa.

"Could you excuse us for a minute?" She asked him softly. Grandpa nodded and started to leave, but I interrupted him.

"You should stay!" I said firmly. "Alice! I'm not in the mood to talk to you." I knew it sounded extremely rude, but if we talked now I couldn't be responsible for my actions or words. My emotions were all over the place, and I was as unstable as a person could be. But it was like I didn't even say anything as Alice nodded to grandpa to leave us. Fine! If this is what she wanted…

"Jasper, please talk to me." She said and sat down in her usual spot. She reached to take my hand, but I moved it away from her. For an instant I saw the flicker of pain before she masked it.

"I know that you feel very troubled now…" She trailed off when I only snorted at her attempt to start the conversation.

"You don't understand! No one does!" I said forcefully. Troubled wasn't even covering it how I felt now. More along the lines of frustrated, helpless, angry, resentful, tired…

"Listen to me!" She snapped. I guess she was at the ends of her wits, too. "I know it is hard for you to accept that you will need your father's help, but it is about your life. You will die without transplantation. Can you even grasp that? This isn't a time to be proud." She finished her speech.

I snorted again. "God, you are stupid, aren't you!" She sobbed loudly at my harsh words. "It has nothing to do with fucking pride. If you place my life into my father's hand than I am as good as dead." I stated which caused Alice to cry harder.

I was doing it again, I was hurting her. It seemed that all I could do was to hurt her in any way possible. It was clearer than ever that she would be better off without me.

"Alice!" I said softly, all the emotional drama was catching up to me and I felt exhausted beyond reason. "I think you should stay away from me." I stated bluntly.

The breath caught in her throat. "What… What are you saying?" She stuttered.

She was forcing my hand. "I'm breaking up with you."

Silence followed my last statement. Alice wasn't crying anymore instead she was looking at me with pure fury in her eyes. They never looked more vibrantly emerald! _Shit, what a glorious sight that was!_ Her eyes were boring into mine, and after a while her stare became uncomfortable. What the fuck was she looking at?

"No." She said eerie calm. "You are not breaking up with me Jasper Whitlock!"

If I had been in a better mood, I would have admired her stubbornness. But in my current state it only aggravated me more. Can't she see that I was frustrated and too tired to continue this?

"Oh, no? And what are you going to do about it?" I taunted her. It didn't work; she was still calmer than ever before.

"I'm going to pretend that this conversation has never happened. Despite of what you think, I know you. I know that you love me and you want to protect me, and that this stupid conversation is just a response to the situation. I know that you are scared and you are lashing out on the people you love. But I love you and I would never give up on you." When she finished her speech she stood up. "However, now I'm going to leave you alone. It is late."

She left the room without another word. I was laying there totally dumbstruck by her. _She was amazing!_ She awed me with all the grace and calm with which she handled the situation. And the worst part was that she was even right. I was just lashing out. I think I have never been more in love with that fantastic girl!

After that incident she hadn't visited me for two days, but Alice and I didn't break up, however, our relationship was strained. And I knew that it would stay that way till I apologized, but I couldn't do that. Not yet. And I think a simple I'm sorry wouldn't do it either. First, I had to put everything in place in my head and for that I needed Dr. Simmons. What can I say? _I was a fucked-up bastard!_ So I begrudgingly accepted grandpa's earlier offer about my shrink, and Dr. Simmons and I begun a new routine when we talked every other day so she could help me cope with this illness, too.

And I needed her help more than ever that day when grandpa finally broke the news to me. They started trying to get in contact with my father, but he wouldn't listen to them. No, he would only talk to me. _Fuck my life!_

* * *

><p>So what you think? Reviews are always appreciated.<em><br>_


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 28

JPOV

Due to the regular blood transfusions and the medications my health improved, but only slightly. I didn't feel fatigued or dizzy that often, and I wasn't sleepy all the time. I only slept during the night. My health was still very unstable: there were days when I felt really well, but on others I couldn't even sit up. I had asked grandpa to bring me some books and my IPod, and finally I was allowed to dress in normal clothes instead of that awful hospital gown. _Thank Christ my ass wasn't hanging out in the open!_ I could also take short trips around the hospital, but never alone and I always had to wear a mask. So while my physical health was improving, my mental health was deteriorating. And fast.

I was in a constant state of anxiety. On the one hand, I was extremely frustrated with the current state of my relationship with Alice. Although she visited me every day we never were alone, Edward and Bella were our constant companions. I suspected it was Alice's doing, she clearly didn't want to be alone with me which was understandable. We didn't really talk since that fateful day, and whenever we did talk it was just meaningless chat mostly about school or homework. She seemed hesitant and insecure in my presence that wasn't at all like her. And I still had no idea how to make things right again, but it was clear that I should do something and soon because if things go this way, we will end up with the break up that neither of us want. On the other hand, there was the ever looming presence of my father. _Fuck!_ I knew that sooner or later I would have to talk to him, but at this point I was nowhere near ready to do that. I had no idea why he wanted to talk to me directly. Maybe he wanted to say no personally or maybe he wanted to taunt me. Either way I didn't want to hear that, but I was running out of time.

Dr. Cullen ordered me a special diet to strengthen my immune system so I had to eat five times a day out of which twice I had to eat fruits. In all honesty, the fruits were the most enjoyable meal I got because the food in the hospital was horrible. So I didn't have to worry about getting fat. I even started to think about asking grandpa to bring me something home made. _I was that desperate!_

I was eying my lunch trying to guess what it could be when there was a knock at the door, and then Edward walked in swiftly. I looked behind him to see Alice, but he was alone which surprised me because he had never visited me alone. At least Bella was always with him. He understood my look immediately.

"I'm alone." He stated. "Alice will be here later. She doesn't know that I'm here, but I need to talk to you." He said and sat down next to my bed.

It was one of my stronger days so I could sit up in my bed. I guess this was the time when Edward would kill me for hurting his sister, and I deserved it after my actions. I still felt very ashamed about my behavior, but especially about my words. I had said some things that weren't just rude, but downright cruel.

"Okay." I said so Edward could continue.

"I'm sure you know that it is about Alice." He stated, and I nodded in agreement. "Alice had told me everything that you said. I think a part of me understands your reasons, but Alice doesn't. Your last conversation left her full of doubts about your feelings for her. And that mention of a breaking up nearly broke her. I know that you just wanted to protect her from all the hurt your condition might entail, but you have to let Alice decide what is best for her."

I interrupted him at this point. "Believe me, I know. It was a wrong and rush decision that I regret, but I don't know how to make things right." I sighed in frustration.

"You should talk to Alice. Be honest with her, and tell her all your reasons and fears. And she should share her thoughts and doubts with you, too. So I think what you need is a long, open and honest conversation." He said confidently. I guess that was a great advice, well, in any case better than anything I came up with. Honesty was my best option.

"Thank you. I think that's the best I can do." I said truthfully.

"And one more thing, Jasper." Edward said in an earnest tone. "Alice is strong, but she isn't invincible. She hides it well, but this situation between you is taking a toll on her so try to reach an agreement and soon."

"I will." I promised.

"I have to leave now, but soon I will be back with Alice and Bella." He said standing up, and when I nodded he left.

I spent the rest of my time until they came back with thinking. It was now or never: I would have to talk to her. Edward was right; I had to tell Alice the truth about everything, my feelings and my concerns. Dr. Simmons was great in helping me clear my head and put everything into perspective. She was now trying to prepare me for that ominous phone call that I dreaded with various results. I had to talk about all the emotions I had experienced since I learnt about his request, and some of them were rather unhealthy. We still had a long way to go. I sighed in frustration and I decided against eating that weird looking food they called lunch and waited for my fruits.

Edward and the girls arrived sooner that I had expected. After the greetings were over with everybody took their seat. I was happy to see that Alice sat closer to me than she usually did these days. She eyed my lunch tray critically.

"What's that?" She pointed to the food.

"I have no idea. I guess my lunch." She turned up her nose in distaste. "So I'm waiting for my daily dose of fruits."

"All of the food they give you is this bad?" She asked with a horrified expression on her face.

"No, not all of them." I tried to joke, but she was still preoccupied with my food.

At that moment the nurse arrived to take away my lunch away and she shook her head at the untouched food. Luckily though she promised to be back soon with the fruits. I was very hungry so when she returned with a banana and an orange, I wasted no time eating it. In my haste I forgot that I wasn't alone and I gave quite the show to my friends.

"Sorry." I mumbled when I had finished. I felt embarrassed.

"Are they starving you here?" Bella asked in a joking tone, but the concern was clear on their faces.

"It's just today." I tried to assure them, but I didn't think it worked. We chatted on for a couple of minutes which I used for building my courage. I studied Alice face in an attempt to figure out her mood. Her features were relaxed and she was smiling at me in a gentle way. However, her eyes were the true mirror to her mood. She was still in pain, and I recognized the longing in them that was always present in her eyes before we became a couple. She still wanted me. After all the horrible things I had said and done, she still loved me. _But why?_ I couldn't comprehend her feelings, she should hate me by now. Well, there is only one way to get an answer to all my questions.

"Alice!" I spoke up when I felt ready. "Can I talk to you privately?"

She looked between me and the others and then sighed. "Sure."

We watched silently as Edward and Bella said goodbye and left us alone. Edward tipped his discreetly indicating that he knew it was time. The silence stretched longer between us, and I knew that I had to break it.

"Once I promised you honesty, but I failed to keep it." I started hesitantly. I had no idea whether she would listen to me. "I will try to ratify it now by telling you everything. That is, if you are willing to hear me out." I let her decide it.

"Yes, please continue." She said and she looked extremely tense. _What the fuck she is thinking I would tell her?_ I had already said the cruelest things I could think of. But maybe she was afraid I would suggest a break up again…

"I know that you were worried about me, maybe you still are, but…"

She interrupted me. "Of course I am." She said fiercely. _That's the girl I fell in love with!_

I smiled at her. "Thank you. As I was saying worry is also an emotion that is as foreign to me as love. For the majority of my life no one was worried about me so I didn't know how that felt or how that affected others. My initial reaction to my illness was due to my ingrained habit of denial. I didn't deny it only to you, but grandpa and myself as well. In my old life I couldn't be sick because the first signs of weakness presented a new target to my father. His abuse wasn't always physical." I had to pause at this point as his taunting remarks flooded my mind. I closed my eyes to shake them. I felt Alice's hand holding mine and when I opened my eyes I saw that she was crying silently. I didn't know what to do about her crying so I simply squeezed her hand and intertwined our fingers before continuing. "So when I started feeling weak I dismissed it as a passing illness, nothing important. I guess old habits kicked in. So it wasn't about not trusting you or not loving you."

She looked at me then with wide eyes. "Do you… Do you still love me?" Her voice was small and unsure. I wanted to hurt myself for doing that to her. Edward was right: she doubted my feelings for her. I made a silent promise to myself, if I am lucky enough to recover from this illness, I will never let Alice doubt my feelings for her.

"I know it is hard to believe, but I love you more than ever." I let her see the honesty in my eyes. She smiled the first genuine smile in weeks.

"Then why?" She asked looking confused.

"Why did I suggest the break up?" I asked and I saw her cringe at the mention of it again. "I realized that my condition was severe. And like it or not there is a chance that I'm not going to make it…"

"Stop!" She shouted forcefully. I was taken aback with her outburst. "Don't you ever dare say that! You will be alright." She sounded entirely convinced about that. And added a little coyly. "Besides, I thought that you had learnt by now that you should never bet against me!"

I smiled at her playful tone. It seemed that all she needed was to hear me say that I still loved her. She started acting like her usual perky self.

"I wish I was that convinced, too." I said thoughtfully. "But I don't feel that way. When we talked last time I wasn't in the right frame of mind, and I know that that is a weak excuse, but that's all I have. As things are now, my life is in the hand of that man who always preferred me dead."

At this pointed Alice started sobbing loudly. I wanted to comfort her in any way I could so I started tugging on her hand.

"Come here!" I said urging her on my bed.

"No, you…" She tried to protest in a hoarse voice.

"Come!" I said more forcefully. She tentatively moved to sit on the side of my bed. That wasn't what I had in mind. I grabbed her waist and yanked her to me, my arms encircling her tiny frame. She sobbed for a long while in my arms making my shirt damp. I tried to smooth her as best I could, whispering sweet nothings into her ears. It took her a long time to calm down, and when she finally did she tried to move away, but I held her tightly.

"Jazz!" She tried to sound stern, but she was smiling.

"It was entirely too long since you were in my arms." I told her honestly. "I missed you, darling." I murmured and placed a small kiss on her temple.

"I missed you, too." She said, and then hugged the shit out of me.

"Will you continue your explanation?" She asked after a while.

"Only if I can hold you while I'm telling you." At her eager nod I continued. "I only wanted to protect you from the hurt. I don't want you to see me getting weaker and weaker, and then eventually…" I trailed off.

"Please, don't say that!" She begged with renewed tears. I knew that soon she would have to face that as a possibility, but for now I let it pass.

"I'm so sorry for hurting you then and now. It seems that I always hurt you, and I don't understand how you can still love me. I can't give you anything, especially now. I'm always just taking from you, but I have never given you anything." I finished with a sigh all too aware the truth in my words.

"How can you say that?" She asked indignantly. "Jasper, look at me!" She put her hands on either side of my face and forced me to look at her. Her tears dried up, and renewed hope and love were shining in her beautiful green eyes.

"You have given me the most important thing in the world, love. Before I met you I thought I was happy, but I still had a lingering feeling that something was missing, a part of me was missing. And when we had met I knew instantly that I found what I was looking for. You made me truly happy because I had finally experienced being in love. I love you, Jasper with my whole heart. You mean the world to me. It's the best feeling in the world when I'm with you." She finished softly. I was really touched by her words, and I had no idea what to say.

"I love you, too." I told her finally.

The response I got was quite unexpected because instantly her soft lips were connected to mine. Her tongue slipped into my mouth seeking mine and when they finally met we exploded. All thoughts left my mind and the only thing I could focus on was the girl in my arms. So I let myself be lost in the sensations of her wicked mouth. The kiss was aggressive and intense exactly what we needed at the moment. This kiss was all about need, passion and love. Gradually the intensity slowed and the kiss turned into a gentle and sweet one, a reassurance that we connected again. When we pulled apart I was breathing like I had run the marathon. I was grateful for the fact that the heart monitor wasn't attached to me any more because it would have gone haywire. We had spent the whole afternoon together snuggling up on my bed, with soft kisses and gently caresses. In other words we reestablished our special connection again. We had to make up for a lot of lost time…

When grandpa came he only stayed for a couple of minutes and left us alone together. I saw in his eyes that he was relieved that everything was nice between me and Alice. I knew that I owed him an explanation, too, but not now. Now I only wanted to enjoy my time with my beautiful Alice.

Alice's support meant a lot me, but I still didn't feel ready to call my father. My health was still unstable, bur at least I was strong enough to hold a book so I had spent most of my time reading. Bella lent me a lot of novels that she assured me were great. It became clear that I wasn't going to return school in this semester. Many teachers were able to give me a grade based on my work, but I would have to take two exams during the summer or when I was up to it.

One Sunday morning Alice had a very nice surprise for me. During the weekends she had spent almost all day in the hospital with me, but on this particular day she didn't come as usual. I was reading one of my own books about the Civil War when she had finally arrived.

"Hi, Jazzy!" She greeted me cheerfully.

"Well, hello!" I said and put down my book to be able to greet her properly with a kiss. I was expecting a short peck, but my Alice had other ideas and we ended up in a full make out session.

"Wow!" I breathed when she pulled away.

"That was to say sorry for being late." She said just as breathlessly. And then she continued. "But I had a good reason for that. I made a surprise for you!"

"Oh, really?" I asked genuinely curious.

"Really." She assured me, and then she turned around and bend over to retreat something from her bag unknowingly presenting her nice round bottom to me.

"Well, that's certainly a nice surprise. But you shouldn't tease me!" I said winking at her. She looked back at me over her shoulder and wiggled her ass for emphasis and returned my wink. I had to laugh at that.

When she stood up something was in her hand. "That wasn't my surprise." She smiled and walked to me. "This is my surprise!" She revealed a plastic container that held something that smelled delicious. So delicious in fact that my stomach rumbled in appreciation.

"Oh, I see you are hungry!" She grinned at me.

"It smells delicious. What is it?" I asked eagerly.

"Grilled salmon fillet with stewed vegetables." She said and gave me the container with a fork. I dag in with gusto, which caused Alice to giggle.

"Mmm" I hummed in appreciation. "It's very good."

"Thank you." She said with a huge smile. I paused for a minute. _Could it be right?_

"Did you make it?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes." She giggled at the surprised expression on my face.

"You said once that I only got to taste your cooking if I lost a bet against you." I reminded her. Despite my intentions this seemed to sober her up.

"That was then." She said softly and quickly changed the subject. "So how do you like it?"

"It's yummy." I said and continued eating.

"I decided to make you something delicious every time I can because that horrible hospital food wouldn't help you getting strong again." She explained. "Oh, and I made some dessert, too. I hope you like muffin."

"Well, if you are going to keep me on delicious food and dessert, too I will be fat. And then you wouldn't like me." I warned her playfully.

"You won't get fat, you are too skinny. In fact you are skinnier than me, and I like my man to have something to grab on." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. Sadly, what she had said was true, I had lost some more weight since I was in hospital.

I ate all the food she had given me, and she shared a muffin with me. I hadn't felt this full in a long time.

"Oh, I'm too full to even move." I said while stretching out. I watched in amusement as Alice's eyes were eagerly running up and down my body. She was practically devouring me with her eyes. She couldn't really enjoy the sight, could she? She had just said that I was too skinny.

We ended up again on my bed snuggling up. I was lying down and Alice's head rested in the crook of my shoulder while her hand absentmindedly stroked my chest. _It felt fucking fantastic!_ I was running my fingers lightly up and down her arms which caused her to shiver in pleasure. She suddenly lifted her head a little and placed a soft kiss on my neck. I thought that was all, but she shifted and positioned herself to have more access to my neck. She placed sweet kisses on my neck travelling upwards to my lips. I was moaning by the time I finally felt her lips on mine. I felt her smile in satisfaction so I kissed her senseless in sweet retaliation. When we pulled apart we were grinning at each other like fools. We could enjoy the peace for a couple of more minutes before a very loud Emmett joined us accompanied by the others as well. Emmett and Rose didn't visit me that often because they had to prepare for their exams and because Emmett had spent enough time for his liking in the hospital donating blood for me.

After a week had passed there was no time left to postpone the inevitable phone call. Dr. Cullen suggested that I use his office to make the call. I was strong enough to go there although I had to wear a mask. I wanted to be alone while I was on the phone, but Alice and grandpa were waiting outside. As a precaution I asked Dr. Simmons to be there, too. I had no idea what state I would be in after I talked to that man. I was dragging my foot all the way to the office while holding Alice's hand. In the back of my mind I was a bit worried that I squeezed her delicate hand a little too strongly, but she didn't complain. I kissed her for a last time not bothering with the other people around us, I needed that last form of encouragement. Without any further words I went in and closed the door behind me. With an erratic heartbeat I dialed the given number and waited for the connection.

"Fabian Dale Dominguez State Jail, how can I help you?" A female voice asked on the other side of the line.

I gulped nervously. "I would like to talk to one of your inmates, a Jeffrey Whitlock please."

"Who is calling him?" The woman asked again.

"I'm Jasper Whitlock, his son." That last word left a bad taste in my mouth. It didn't feel like at all that I was related to him.

"Please hold on for a while." She said. While I waited they played some kind of relaxing music. Well, it didn't do anything to my nerves.

"Hello!" It was the voice that I heard a long time ago and yet it was still too familiar. A shudder shook my body and I had goose bumps on my arms. "Is that you, Jasper?"

I had no idea how long it took me to answer. "Yes, it's me." I managed to say.

"Well, I wondered when would you man up and call me instead of that all too nice doctor or that stupid old fool." He said in his cold voice. And I knew in that instant that he didn't change that this call was all about to taunt me.

"Now that the pleasantries over," I started in an equally detached voice "why don't you cut that crap. You know why I'm calling."

"Oh, that little doctor told me everything. You are sick which doesn't really surprise me." He said.

"I'm sure I got this from your side of the family." I answered. Every test that Dr. Cullen suggested came back with negative results, but he couldn't rule out that it's inherited due to the missing information.

"Watch your mouth!" He was getting angry.

"Or what? You break out of the jail to beat me?" It didn't sound like my own voice any more. We were in the past: this was how everything started. This was the old Jasper speaking, the numb and unfeeling Jasper who didn't give a damn about anything. He was getting angrier and angrier, but I didn't find it in me to care. I wanted this to be over with.

"I think you should be nice to me." He said cheerfully. "Your life is depending on my decision."

"I don't think it matters whether I am nice or not." It was the truth. I knew that he had already made up his mind, and now he was just playing with me. But I refused to participate.

"It always can help you." He said, but changed the subject. "So how are you?"

I snorted at that. "Well, let me see. I'm in a hospital with a potentially fatal illness. And what about you?" I said sarcastically.

"You have certainly changed. You have never been this disrespectful while you were living with me." He mused.

"Why should I respect you?" I challenged.

"I'm your father." He answered sternly.

I snorted again. "Oh, really? And when did you realize that?" I asked in a cold tone.

"Enough!" He thundered on the other end of the line. A shiver ran down my spine at his tone. I knew that tone all too well. "Listen to me, you little bastard…" He trailed off. I had no idea what had happened, he didn't continue, but I heard his breathing through the phone. _What the fuck was he doing?_

I heard him take a deep breath before continuing. "I see that this conversation is going nowhere. So I tell you my decision." He paused dramatically. "I decided that I let them test me to see whether I'm a suitable donor under one condition…"

When he didn't continue I spoke up. "Pray continue. The suspense is killing me."

"If I'm a match, you will have to come down here to visit me before the transplant or I refuse to be your donor." He said with smug satisfaction.

Well, I did not see that coming. "Why?" I asked suspiciously after a momentary pause.

"I have my reasons which I prefer to say personally." He answered. "The doctors here would inform your doctor when the results are ready. I hope I will see you soon." With that he hung up. I sat there in Dr. Cullen's leather armchair dumbfounded. _What the fuck had just happened? _I can't go to Texas; I could barely master enough courage to talk to him on the phone. But to talk to him personally? _No fucking way!_

After a while I stood up and went to face the others. Everybody's face was anxious and worried. I told them my father's condition in a detached voice. Alice hugged me, but I didn't return it, I couldn't. All I felt in that instant was confusion and detachment. Dr. Simmons read my stance correctly and she immediately offered a therapy session. I didn't think I was in the right mind for it, but I also knew that it wasn't safe for me to be alone or to be with Alice. I would lash out again. So Dr. Simmons and I returned to my room for an emergency session while the others discussed this new development.

That therapy session was longer and more soul destroying than ever. I had go over every single emotion of the day, experience them again and finally let them go, still some emotions lingered. I couldn't let go of my anger and fear. Dr. Simmons helped me realize that even after all this time and my continual denial I was still afraid of him. This realization hit me like a ton of bricks! That was the root of all my problems: fear. And I wasn't just afraid of him physically, but I was also afraid of becoming like him. I could be just as cruel as him as my lashing out at Alice so clearly showed. I didn't want that, I didn't want to become a monster. _I was a pathetic, fucked-up asshole!_ Thought Dr. Simmons was pleased with this breakthrough because she knew how to treat and handle that, but I on the other hand was still reeling with this new insight. I needed time, but I knew I was running out of it when I felt as the blood ran from my nose again. Time wasn't on my side…

* * *

><p>Please, let me know your thoughts.<p> 


	29. Chapter 29

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 29

JPOV

I couldn't decide which possibility was the worst: if that bastard of a father turned out to be a match or if he didn't. In the former case I would have to meet him in person and put myself in a situation that could destroy everything that I had achieved so far. And if the latter scenario happened my chances at survival would drop considerably because a transplant from a non-related donor contains many risks. However, Alice was really good at taking my mind off of the things that bothered me: my condition, my father and my fear of him. Sometimes – like today – her distraction technique was very simple as she wore a black pencil skirt that emphasized her fucking perfect ass, and a forest green halter top that enhanced her vibrant eyes. _She looked good enough to eat!_

I shook my head at her. "You know you shouldn't do that." I warned her.

"What?" She asked with a sly expression on her face. Like she didn't know…

"Dress like that." I nodded to her attire.

"Why? You don't like it?" She asked while wiggling her hips in a sensual rhythm.

"Of course I adore it, but it makes me want to do things that I don't have energy for." I explained fighting the images in my head. _Fuck!_ "And dangling such sweet temptation in front of me is a little cruel, don't you think?"

She smiled and leaned in closer to me to quickly peck my lips. "I like to think of it as a motivation for you to get better," she lowered her voice even though we were alone "and to be able to realize all of your fantasies later."

"All of my fantasies?" I asked while gulping a little nervously.

Her smile was so sensual as she whispered to me. "All you have to do is get better."

She squealed when I grabbed the back of her neck and captured her perfect lips with mine in a passionate kiss. At first I simply enjoyed the feel of her lips pressing against mine, but I needed more. I ran my tongue slowly against her full lower lip biting on it gently and making her moan in the process, and finally I tasted my sweet Alice. Her hands were in my hair holding me closer to her, but I wasn't ready to relinquish control as my tongue stroked and caressed hers in a way that I knew she absolutely loved. A deep and throaty moan was my reward. Meanwhile, my hand travelled down her body and I let it rest on her firm little ass. _Fuck that felt great in my palm!_ But alas I wasn't strong enough to keep up my assault any longer, and I had to pull away. We were breathing heavily.

"Jazz…" Alice whispered her eyes still closed. I was pleased with myself that despite everything that had happened I could still affect her this much. It did wonders to my ego!

When she sobered up from my influence she kicked off her shoes and joined me on my bed hugging me close. I was running my hand through her silky hair enjoying the feeling when a thought occurred to me.

"Did you go to school dressed like that?" I asked her.

"Yes. Why?" Her tone suggested that she was genuinely puzzled by my question. _My sweet innocent Alice!_

"Well, you shouldn't tease the boys in school like that. Presenting your beautiful self to them, all the while knowing that you are mine. And no one else's." I murmured the last part into her ear, and then placed a soft kiss to her pulse point. I had no idea where this possessiveness came from, but she seemed to like it very much because she uttered a delicious groan at my words and goose bumps erupted all over her exposed skin.

She slapped my chest playfully. "Who is the tease now?" After a little pause she added. "Besides, I dressed only for you."

I grinned at her in response. She couldn't stay with me for long after that as they were writing a test the following day and she had to study.

However, as she had left she took all her distractions away that left me thinking about unpleasant things. Dr. Cullen informed me that the doctors in Texas started testing my father. And for a change he took my blood this time instead of giving me because they had to make cross tests with my father's blood. He told me that it would take some time to complete all of the tests and he wanted to use the remaining time to strengthen my immune system. He used both medical and natural resources, and I was pumped up with vitamins of all sorts, I think all the letters of the alphabet were represented in my system. I needed to have a strong immune system in order to actually make it to Texas if necessary, but beyond that it was the first step in my conditioning for the transplant. I still had no idea how I was going to be able to face that man. In my therapy Dr. Simmons was directly treating my fear issues by making me talk about them, and I mean really talk: I had to voice every thought that crossed my mind about my father or anything in relation to him. It wasn't particularly easy for me, but I had to admit that facing my issues directly was helping me cope with them. She warned me that in dealing with my father I shouldn't let my old feelings take over and control my actions. I had to remember that I had moved on and he no longer had control over my life. Of course at first it was easier said than done, but recently I started to grasp what she meant, and I just needed to work on it. The hardest thing to deal with was the fact that if my father proved to be a match then he would _have _control over my life. In fact he would hold my life in his hands quite literally. However, according to Dr. Simmons these were the exact thoughts that I should banish from my mind, but no matter how hard I tried they lingered…

Ironically, it was a rainy and gloomy Friday when my fate was sealed. During the morning visit Dr. Cullen informed me that my father would be a perfect donor as all his results showed compatibility.

"So what is the next step?" I asked him, and honestly I was a little afraid of his answer.

He sighed deeply. "In an ideal situation we would start your treatment with powerful drugs and radiation to destroy your dysfunctional bone marrow and prepare you for the transplant. However, as you know your situation is slightly different." I wanted to snort at his choice of words. He certainly put it lightly. "I had been thinking about a solution ever since you talked to your father and I have a suggestion." He continued.

"What it is?" I asked as I had no idea on my own.

"We have to talk to your grandfather, too so I rather tell you both at the same time."

"Okay. I'm sure he will arrive soon." I said as there wasn't really anything else I could say to that.

"I finish up my other visits, and then I return." He offered.

So when grandpa finally arrived we waited for Dr. Cullen's return. I was extremely nervous as reality started to kick in: my father was a match which was a blessing and a curse at the same time. It meant that my chances of survival increased, I had a chance to build a life with Alice, but I was afraid that the price was too much. Before making plans for the future I had to meet my father personally. I would be in the same room with him and I would have to look into those empty and hard eyes. I wondered whether this whole thing would worth that price. I wasn't sure.

I was contemplating these when the door swiftly opened and Dr. Cullen strode in greeting my grandpa. They became good friends while I was staying in the hospital. Fortunately Dr. Cullen immediately cut to the point.

"Alright, in this situation two things are obvious: one, Jasper can't go alone and two, he would need medical attention for this trip. So that's why I think that I should be the one who accompanies him to Texas." He said all this with one breath.

I looked at him blankly. He really was a very nice man, but I couldn't accept his offer. He had a family and a job, and I didn't want him to put that on hold because of me.

"That's very nice of you Dr. Cullen, but I can't…" I started to decline when he interrupted me.

"I thought you might say that, but hear me out. Okay?" He asked.

I looked at grandpa to gauge his reaction. Well, he seemed okay with this. Strange!

"I guess listening never hurt." I said so he could proceed.

"This would be a very difficult trip for you both emotionally and physically, and I can help you with both. I can treat you instantly if any complication arises and I am not a family member so you don't have to worry about hurting me if things become rough." He explained in his usual calm tone. I had to admit he had a point, but I still had to voice my concerns.

"But Dr. Cullen you have a job and a family. I don't want to inconvenience you about either with dragging you down to San Antonio." There, I said it.

"I appreciate your concern, but you shouldn't worry on either account. I can easily rearrange my work schedule to take a couple of days off, and my family would certainly understand. Especially Alice." He said the last part with a soft smile.

"Well, I don't know." I still felt guilty. "What do you think, grandpa?"

"I think, son, that Carlisle is perfectly right, he would be the perfect companion. I'm too old to handle this situation." He said with a head shake. "You should accept his help. It is a very generous offer."

I rolled everything that they said around my head, and I didn't have any other ideas. I just really hoped that I wasn't disrupting his life too much.

"Alright, if you are absolutely sure about it." I acquiesced finally.

"I am." He said firmly, and after a little pause he continued. "And there is another rather touchy subject. I don't know your financial situation, but we have to discuss airline tickets and accommodation…" He trailed off a bit uncomfortable.

I frowned. _Fuck!_ I hadn't thought about that. Well, if I remember correctly I had sold all of my pictures at the exhibition so I guess I could afford my share of the tickets and the room. It was true that I wanted to spend that money on summer courses and college… _Fuck, I hated money!_

"Don't worry!" I tried to reassure the good doctor. "I have some extra money from that exhibition." I saw from the corner of my mind that grandpa was frowning.

"Oh, I think you misunderstood me, Jasper." Dr. Cullen quickly spoke up. I looked at him in puzzlement. He was subtly inquiring about money, wasn't he? What else could that mean?

"I was offering to pay all the costs." He held up his hand when he saw that I was about to interrupt him. This conversation was making me uncomfortable, and from the looks of it so did grandpa. "I know that you want to spend that money on your education, and I don't see why you should give that up because of an unreasonable request." He finished his explanation. I was still not convinced. One thing was accepting his help for the trip, and quite another accepting his money. Although I was deeply touched by his generosity. Alice was very lucky to have a father like him. The more I though about it the more convinced I became that I couldn't accept this. _It was way too much!_

So I spoke up. "You are very generous, but…" He interrupted me again.

"I see that you want to decline my offer. So what if we make a deal?" He asked.

"What kind of a deal?" I asked suspiciously, and admittedly my curiosity was peaked as well.

"How about you think about the money as a loan that you would repay me? You pay it back when your situation is better." He offered. Well, it was worth considering at least. I chanced a glance at grandpa and I was very surprised at what I saw. He was begging me with his eyes to accept this offer. I couldn't fight them both.

I took a deep breath. "Alright, you have a deal." I said and held my hand out for him to shake it. Dr. Cullen's face broke out into a huge smile that reminded me of Alice's smile, and he eagerly shook my hand. The deal was official.

"Let me work out the details." He said smiling. I simply nodded. He turned to leave us alone when grandpa stopped him.

"I'll go with you because I need to talk to you." He told Dr. Cullen. He nodded so they left me alone.

I was very curious. What did grandpa want? I had a suspicion that he wouldn't tell me so I decided against bringing it up when he returned. So I guess this day turned out to be an interesting one. I was going to travel to San Antonio with Dr. Cullen and he was paying for it. It sure was weird! As I had more time to think over his offer and his words, my suspicion grew. He knew exactly what to say to convince me to accept his offer like he had already known any kind of argument that I could put up. So either the doctor was very good at reading people – which could entirely be true – or he had talked to Alice beforehand which seemed to be the more plausible explanation. Yes, only Alice and grandpa knew me that well. Hmm… maybe grandpa had a hand in this, too. I couldn't wait for Alice to arrive to get some answers to my questions.

When Alice finally arrived she was smiling brightly looking as beautiful as ever. I returned her smile in an unconscious gesture as her mood always affected me.

"Hey, gorgeous!" She greeted me and I saw as she paused for a millisecond and her cheeks flushed a bit. I guess that wasn't the way she wanted to greet me.

"Hello, yourself, beautiful!" I said with a wink, and this put her mind at ease.

She walked up to me and leaned forward to kiss me, and then settled down in the chair next to my bed.

"I have news for you." I started when I realized that I had to tell her the events of this morning. This thought immediately sobered me up negating Alice's influence.

"What? Good or bad?" She asked eagerly. I think she suspected what I had to tell her.

"Your father got the news today that my father is a perfect match to be my donor." I let the information sink in.

"Well, that's good news, isn't it?" She asked smiling.

"That depends." I frowned. "Now I have to go to Texas."

"Oh." She simply uttered, and then a worried expression washed over her face.

"Yeah. And your father offered to accompany me and to pay for everything." I watched her face intently for a telling reaction. And her lovely eyes told me all I needed. "But I guess that part isn't news to you." I stated it as a fact.

She thought for a while. "Are you mad?"

"Of course I'm not mad." I chuckled. "But care to fill in the gaps?"

My answer relaxed her so she started to explain everything. "First of all, it was really Dad's idea, but he asked my advice on how to approach you. And I told him that he had to prepare a good argument because you would absolutely refuse otherwise. You are quite stubborn, you know? I suggested that he had to have a logical explanation for everything excluding every uncertain point that you could use against him."

"Well, you certainly know me." I smiled at her. "Did grandpa know about it?"

"He didn't know the details, but Dad let him know early on that he would do anything to help." She answered quickly.

"Okay. Anything else I should know about this conspiracy?" I teasingly asked.

"It's not a conspiracy." She giggled and looked a little embarrassed. "At first I wanted to go with you, too. But Dad absolutely refused saying that I couldn't miss school." She finished with a huff clearly not agreeing with her father. But I was thankful for his denial. I wouldn't want Alice there.

"Please, don't take it the wrong way, but I'm glad he wouldn't let you come." I said thinking that it would be better if I let her know about my feelings on the subject. "I don't want to hurt you, and I'm sure that after meeting my father I won't be the nicest person to be around. In all honestly I couldn't even imagine the aftermath of that conversation, and I wouldn't want you to be in the frontline."

Her features softened by my explanation. "If that's what you want." She said softly.

"It is." I replied firmly.

After this we both needed reassurance so as usual she climbed into my bed and into my arms. We had spent an awful lot of time in bed, but unfortunately just cuddling. It was like in the early stages of our relationship when I had to be careful of what she was comfortable with as I didn't want to push her. _Fuck that was hard!_ And this time it was me who couldn't take much. She wounded her arms around my torso and she held me really tight. She was afraid of letting me go so I guess it was my turn to distract her.

"So, Ali, I need to ask a favor from you." I started lightly.

This immediately peaked her interest. "What?" She lifted her head off of my chest to look into my eyes.

"Well, I would need someone to pack a bag for me, and I don't think that grandpa would enjoy that, but you, on the other hand…" I trailed off suggestively. I watched as a million watt smile appeared on her face.

"Really?" She asked excitedly.

"Sure." I said and watched in amusement as she practically vibrated next to me. I was sure she would be bouncing if she didn't lie on the bed. It was funny how this little thing could make her so happy.

"Thank you! Thank you!" She chanted happily.

"You know, you are awfully happy to back my bag." I said playfully. "You are hinting at something?"

I watched as her face tensed, all of her earlier good humor vanished. She looked serious and solemn. "Please, don't even joke about that." She said barely audibly.

I looked at her for a minute in puzzlement, and then I realized my mistake. "I'm sorry. I thought it would be funny. Clearly I'm not a comedian." I explained, but Alice was still tense. Although we had moved on about that topic of breaking up I suspected that it had left a deeper sting in her that she had let on. That day I had hurt her deeply, and now I realized that only time and my constant reassurance would heal that wound. And in the name of reassurance I lifted her head to mine and pressed my lips to hers. I wanted to express how sorry I was about that and how much I really loved her with this kiss. It was just a soft touching of lips, but she instantly relaxed into my body. While molding my mouth to hers one of my hands was caressing her neck, and the other was wrapped around her tiny waist hugging her closer to me. When my tongue gently grazed her bottom lip she immediately opened her mouth, and her sweet little tongue entered my mouth. It turned out to be a slow, wet and sensual kiss. I whished I could take it further than kissing, but that wouldn't happen for a long time.

When we eventually pulled apart she was clinging to me tightly, but this time it didn't bother me as I knew that she needed that. Needed feeling me close to her.

It turned out that Alice got her control freak tendencies from her father because the doctor had organized everything for a 3-day-long trip. He had reasoned that we would need three days as the long flight would tire me out completely for one day and my meeting would have unforeseeable consequences. So according to his plan we would leave for Seattle early on a Wednesday and use that day for resting and preparing. He booked a room in a hotel near a hospital in case anything happened. I swear that man had though of everything! On Thursday we would go to the jail for the visit which would effectively ruin that day for any further plan. And on Friday afternoon we would return to Seattle, and eventually Forks and the hospital. I was still not allowed to go home as upon my return we would start radiation and the whole transplant procedure. So I was in for a very tough couple if weeks.

I hadn't said anything to Dr. Cullen yet, but I had made a plan of my own. As we would be in San Antonio I would like to visit my mother's grave. I wanted to pay my respects and maybe it sounded silly, but I wanted to tell her everything that had happened to me since I last visited which was a long time ago. I wanted to tell her about Alice, too. That was the only aspect that made me want to take this trip.

As we were running out of time on my account, it was decided to go as soon as possible. So Dr. Cullen booked the flight tickets and room for the upcoming Wednesday. And fortunately he told my father to expect us on next Thursday so I didn't have to talk to him again on the phone. _Just personally_, I reminded myself bitterly. The remaining days became quite busy with last minute sessions with Dr. Simmons, taking to my friends, and spending time with grandpa and Alice individually. Grandpa was really worried because he was the only one who knew what my father was capable of, and it pained me to see the deep-rooted fear in his gentle eyes. However, I couldn't do or say anything to make him feel better as the same fear was in my eyes, too. Alice and I tried to spend as much time together as possible not knowing when we would have a chance next. After my return I would be locked up in a sterile room cut off of any human interaction. With the radiation therapy they would destroy my remaining bone marrow and with it my immune system making me defenseless against the most common bacteria or virus. And who knows what the emotional damages would be? It would either make me stronger or destroy me completely.

On Monday afternoon Alice left with grandpa to pack my bag. It never failed to make her giddy. I just hoped she wouldn't go overboard with it; maybe grandpa could control her… I immediately chuckled at this thought: there was no person alive who could control that little weirdo when it came to clothes. She had chosen to pack my bags on Monday so she could spend the entire Tuesday afternoon with me and I was fine with that. We didn't do much that day only holding each other and kissing. Her worry and fear were palpable, and it was doubled by my own similar feelings. She made me promise to call or text her whenever I could and that I would be very careful and listen to her father. It was quite funny how strict she was on that account!

And finally the day of our departure had arrived. Mrs. Cullen drove us to the airport in Seattle and grandpa came along. Alice wanted to come, too, but her father still didn't let her miss school even though there were only two weeks left before summer break. Needless to say my Alice was quite put out by this. It was the first time in over a month that I was outside of the hospital and among other people. I had to wear a mask at all times which made people stare at me. They probably thought that I wasn't entirely there in my head or I was a germophobic. Dr. Cullen tried to be discreet about it, but I saw that he was watching me like a hawk for any signs of weakness or new symptom, but so far I had been perfectly alright. Although I was a bit nervous about flying, it had never been my favorite thing.

"Are you alright, dear?" Mrs. Cullen asked kindly. I guess I wasn't hiding my anxiety well. And Dr. Cullen immediately looked at me.

"I'm fine." I reassured them. I saw from the corner of my eyes that grandpa was trying to hold in his chuckle. He knew exactly what was up with me. "I'm just nervous about the flying, that's all."

Their relief was visible. "Do you need anything that would take the edge off?" Dr. Cullen asked softly.

"No, I'll be fine." I really didn't need any more medication in my system.

After a momentary silence Dr. Cullen handed over my ticket. When I checked it out I did a double take: they were first class tickets. I almost had a heart attack! _Holy fucking shit!_ In other words, it was something that I sure as hell couldn't afford. I looked at the doctor with wide eyes.

He chuckled lightly. "I know what you think, but we travel on first class because there are fewer people there. You know less risk for infection."

I nodded dumbly. I really couldn't argue with that, but still. I had never travelled on first class before. Besides, I thought it would be wiser if I didn't mention to him that I had a total disregard for infections when his daughter was near me. I wouldn't give up kissing her for anything! At that moment my phone beeped with a text message.

_Have a safe trip. Call me when you land! Alice x_

I smiled, and we started texting until she had to leave for school and I had to board the plane. I sat in the seat next to the window to have the least minimum amount of contact with other passengers and the stewardesses. I grinned under my mask when I noticed how flustered the stewardess was from the doctor's appearance and polite manners. But Dr. Cullen seemed oblivious about his charm!

The flight was long and tedious. When we arrived I was really tired even though I had slept on the plane. When we stepped out of the airport I inhaled deeply the warm and familiar San Antonio air. And then I remembered why I was here…

* * *

><p>So do you still like my story? Because I like reading reviews, but I only got a few:(<p>

Anyway, the end is fast approaching. I'm not sure, but I'm planning on two or three more chapters.


	30. Chapter 30

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 30

JPOV

Dr. Cullen had to help me carry my bag as I was too tired and weak to do it myself. _Jesus, was I pathetic or what?_ The doctor guided me toward the car rental place to pick up our ride. Of course he wouldn't go by taxi like common folks do, but fortunately it was a simple car and soon we set out for the hotel. During the ride I was fighting sleep, but when we arrived to a familiar part of town I busied myself with checking what had changed since I was last here. Not surprisingly the hotel was in one of the best parts of the city. Maybe I should have set a limit for Dr. Cullen's spending. _How the fuck was I going to pay all of this back?_ But I couldn't really think about this as all I wanted was a bed, I was sleepy. I will find a way…

The hotel looked really nice and quite elegant with its huge lounge with antic looking furniture and employees dressed in uniforms. My mouth may hang open at the sight. I silently followed Dr. Cullen to the reception where we checked in.

"Good day, sir. I hope you and your son will enjoy your time here." The young receptionist girl said in parting. I chuckled at her mistake, but I could understand it. Both of us had blond hair and blue eyes although that was all that we had in common. Besides, she could have assumed something entirely different… I glanced at the doctor to see his reaction and he had a smile on his face and winked at me.

"Come on, son!" He said for effect. I chuckled.

Our room was a small suite really. It had two areas: one was a living room and the other was a bedroom with two beds. I should have checked the details with Dr. Cullen beforehand. It was really too much. I sat down on one of the beds and pulled out my phone as I had to call both Alice and grandpa.

"What are you doing?" Dr. Cullen asked while putting the bags down.

"I had to call grandpa, and then Alice, too." I answered.

"That can wait. You are tired and you should rest now." He said gently. He must have seen the doubt on my face because he continued. "If it makes you feel better, I will call them."

"Thank you." I said and I really sounded tired. Within minutes I was fast asleep.

When I woke up I felt disoriented and a bit lost, but then I remembered that I was in a hotel room. I looked around and noted that I was alone, but I heard noises coming from the living room area. I slowly sit up and went to see what Dr. Cullen was doing. As I arrived to the other room I saw that he was simply watching TV. He immediately looked up.

"How are you feeling?" He asked. It became quite a standard question.

"Okay. How long was I asleep?" I asked and sat down next to him.

"Only two hours." He answered.

"Have you talked to grandpa and Alice?" I asked remembering that he had promised to call them.

"Yes." He answered smiling. "But Alice instructed me to tell you to call her the minute you wake up." I returned his smile as I pictured my little Alice giving orders to her father.

"Then I should go and call her." I said still smiling.

"Yes that would be the best." He replied and turned his attention back to the screen.

I stood up and went back to the other room to make the call more private. I found my phone on the nightstand. Funny, I don't remember putting it there. As usual Alice answered after the first ring.

"Jazz!" She cried happily. "How are you? How was the flight? Did you sleep well?" And as usual she fired questions at me with surprising speed.

I couldn't hold in my chuckles. _That girl…_ "Well, hello to you, too." I started in amusement. "Let's see if I can answer all your questions. I'm alright, I guess. The flight was long, but I can't say it was bad as we travelled on first class. And yes, I had a nice nap." I paused for a minute. "Did I answer all?"

"Hey, don't tease me." She said and she still sounded happy. "You know that I want to know everything."

"Yes, I do know that." I said. "So how was school?"

"I don't know. I wasn't paying attention because I was too preoccupied with thinking about you." She admitted quietly, but soon she perked up again. "Do you like the hotel? I helped Dad with the reservation and all."

Well, that explained a lot. "Yes, it's very nice, but I think it is a little out of my league." I told her truthfully.

"Nonsense! You deserve the best!" She cried enthusiastically. A comfortable lull appeared in our conversation, and I heard her sigh.

"Is it pathetic that I really miss you?" She asked finally in a small voice.

"Of course, it's not." I said. "I miss you, too." As I said it I realized how true my words were. We had never been apart before and I found that I missed her beautiful face, lovely smile and her ever cheerful atmosphere.

We had chatted for a couple of more minutes, but she soon had to hang up. She had to study for a test and she helped her mother organize a graduation party for Emmett and Rose. I was grateful for that distraction; at least she didn't spend all her time with worrying over me.

"I love you." She said softly after we said our goodbyes.

"I love you, too, darling." I said, and the last thing I heard were her tinkling giggles.

She had always managed to put a smile on my face.

Soon after I joined Dr. Cullen again, there was a knock at the door signaling the arrival of our dinner. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I saw the food.

"So how was Alice?" Dr. Cullen asked with a smile.

"She was just Alice." I replied and he understood exactly what I had meant. He looked hesitant before directing a question at me.

"Can I ask you something?" He asked while handing over a plate full of deliciously smelling food.

"Shoot." I think we were way beyond the point of hiding anything.

"How much Alice knows about your past?" He asked with an unsure expression. I guess I should have expected that question. He was a very nice man, but Alice was his daughter whom he wanted to protect.

"She knows pretty much everything. I had told her about my past before we started going out." I paused for a minute, but decided to press on. He had a right to know. "I didn't want her to get into something that she knew nothing about. It seemed only fair to give her an advance warning."

"How did she react to that?" He asked with a knowing smile.

I chuckled. "With her usual stubborn determination."

"I suspected that you were completely honest with her from the beginning. And I think that Alice couldn't have found a nicer boy to fall in love with." He admitted softly. I was touched by his words.

"Do you really think that?" I asked curiously.

"Yes. Alice has changed a lot to her advantage since she met you. I was worried about her because she had a tendency to live in her head and her dreams, but you ground her. As a result of your influence she is more considerate to others and she grew out of her silly little eccentricities." He finished with a contented sigh.

"Thank you." I said as his approval meant a lot to me.

"No, thank you." He said, but then quickly changed the subject to lighter topics. "But enough of this serious talk. We have a delicious meal in front of us only waiting for us to eat."

We ate in comfortable silence. This was the first time that I was in the company of the good doctor for an extended period, and I found that I liked him very much. He was very similar to Edward. After dinner I gathered my courage to ask the doctor about the following day.

"Dr. Cullen…" I started, but he interrupted me.

"Please, call me Carlisle. At least when we are not in the hospital." He added the last part when he saw my dubious expression. I still called Alice's mom Mrs. Cullen, but I guess the doctor was right.

"Okay. I just wanted to ask about tomorrow? What's the plan?" I asked quietly.

He sighed before answering. "I made an appointment in advance because of the special circumstances. We have to be there at two o'clock sharp." I took everything in.

"I would like to go to the cemetery to visit my mother's grave if that is alright." I told him calmly.

"Of course." He said and sounded a bit surprised. "We can go in the morning."

"Thanks." I said with gratitude.

I wasn't up much longer after that. For a while we watched some TV shows, and I eventually called grandpa, too, but I was sleepy again so I went to bed. Despite my tiredness I slept sporadically that night as my mind didn't seem to be able to stop. I was in a weird half asleep state when one memory followed the other, and they weren't just the painful or bad memories, but about my mother, too when everything was fine.

The next day Carlisle let me sleep in as I had expected. And after a healthy breakfast he gave me the mask and we set out for the cemetery. When we arrived he parked the car close to the entrance.

"I'll wait here. Take your time!" He said kindly.

"Thank you." I was very grateful for his understanding. I wanted to be alone.

My mother's grave was toward the back of the place so I slowly walked up to it. I only stopped at the florist and bought a bouquet of lilies because those were her favorite flowers. I settled down on the ground near her grave, and first I simply sat there taking in the place again.

"Hello mother!" I said softly. "I haven't been here for a while, but I hope you know why." I paused in thought. "I live with grandpa now and he is very nice, but that's not surprising. I had always liked spending time with him during the summers. The most important thing that had happened to me since we last met is that I had met a very special girl. Her name is Alice and she is my girlfriend now, and she is such a wonderful girl. I'm sure you would have loved her if you…" My voice broke at this point and a single tear ran down my left cheek. I didn't bother wipe it off. I proceeded to tell her everything about my life about drawing, the exhibition, my illness and finally my reason for being here. As I recounted her everything in hushed tones it seemed that a floodgate was opened because I couldn't stop crying. I unburdened my soul to her because I knew she was the only one who truly understands me. By the time I finished I felt calmer and more centered. I really needed this.

True to his word, Carlisle was waiting for me in the car. He didn't comment on my red and puffy eyes, it was obvious what had happened and we went back to the hotel in silence.

After a quick nap and lunch it was time for me to face the music. Before leaving I checked my phone and saw that there was a text message from Alice.

_Thinking of you. I love you. Alice x_

As we set out I noticed that my hands were shaking. _I was so not ready for this!_ As we turned into the driveway that led to the jail my heart was about to burst out of my chest and I was sweating, my stomach was in knots, and the trembling never stopped. The building of the jail looked huge, impersonal and intimidating. But I guess that was its purpose, it wasn't an inviting place. We had to go through a lot of security checks: the car was searched as were our clothes. We had to show our IDs and some papers that Carlisle took care of. I had to face my father alone so Carlisle was showed to a general waiting area. Before we separated he surprised the hell out of me with a gentle hug.

"Try to relax. Everything will be fine." He whispered into my ears before letting me go.

A massive looking guard escorted me to an area where the inmates could interact with their families. I felt a little relieved when I saw it wasn't an open room, we would only talk on that phone kind of thing. I was all alone in that room except for the guard who gestured to me to sit at one of the seats.

I had only waited for a couple of minutes when I saw him. I watched as if in slow motion as he walked toward me in handcuffs with a guard guiding him. He was wearing a white shirt and pants, the most non-descript uniform I have ever seen. He seemed older, as if it wasn't only two years ago that I had seen him last. Jail had a toll on him or maybe it was the aftermath of his alcoholism. His hair was that similar dark brown with graying patches along his temples, and he looked healthy, in good condition. I tried to avoid eye-contact as long as I could. He sat down and reached for the phone. I did the same lifting my eyes to his. They were as cold as ever.

"You look like shit." He started in greeting. "What's with the mask?"

"It's a protection against the risk of infection." I explained all the while trying to keep calm. I should let him lead the conversation, it was his idea anyway.

"Did you come with that senile old fool?" He asked in a harsh voice. I had never understood what his problem was with grandpa, but I wasn't about to inquire now.

"No." I answered without thinking. _Fuck!_ He would ask…

"No? Then with whom? I didn't suppose you were allowed to come alone." He paused for a minute. "You aren't 18 yet, are you?"

"No, but I'll be 18 in a couple of days." No need to specify when. He wouldn't care. "And I came with Dr. Cullen." I admitted with a sigh.

This surprised him. "With that all goody good doctor? Why? Hmm… the world must have changed a lot in the last two years because in my time doctors never accompanied patients…" He trailed off. A wicked glint appeared in his eyes. He knew and he let out a harsh laugh.

"Oh, this is rich. You are banging his daughter, right?" He asked very amused. I wasn't about to answer that degrading question. "Answer me, son!" He thundered.

"His daughter is my girlfriend." I said, and that was all the information I wanted to share with him about Alice. It didn't feel right: him knowing anything about her.

"Oh, don't be shy! You think I didn't know about your other little girlfriend, that Mexican chick down the street?" He was still amused. I had no idea that he knew about Maria. I guess it didn't bother him otherwise he would have done something about it.

"So what's her name?" He asked gleefully.

I had to change the subject somehow. "Alice. But can we cut to the chase? I'm sure you didn't ask me here to talk about her."

"That's right. I wanted to talk about you." He said cryptically. Throughout this conversation he never took his eyes off of me, he was examining me, but I had no idea why. It was like he was looking for something. But what?

"What?" I asked unsure.

"Tell me about your life. What have you been up to?" He asked. In any other situation it was a perfectly normal question, but in this context it was fucking weird to say the least.

I sat there dumbfounded. Why the hell would he be interested in that? What the fuck did her really want?

"Not much. I have been in the hospital…" I started, but he interrupted me.

"I don't care about that. Tell me about before that." He said with a dismissing hand gesture.

"There was an exhibition over a month ago where I had sold eight pictures." I told him.

"So you inherited _her_ talent." It wasn't a question, and there was something in his voice when he said her. I started to understand his sudden need to talk to me. He had always hated me for reminding him of my mother, of the love he had lost. He had always said that I had looked just like her. It seemed that he didn't have issues with that any more…

"So all this" I gestured between us "is about her?" I asked.

"Of course. What else?" He admitted matter-of-factly.

"I thought you hated the fact that I resemble her so much." I said.

"You were constantly reminded me of her. You looked at me with _her _eyes." His features became soft at some memory about my mother. "You were there while she was dead." His calmness didn't last long and his expression hardened again. "I had never liked you. You had always kept her attention away from me, and after her death I was left with you. I couldn't bare the thought that you had lived on while I had lost everything. I often wished that you had died instead of her. Sometimes I still do."

His words should have hurt me, but they didn't. I had already known these and made peace with that. After all I had no feelings for him either.

"And then why do you ask me about my life?" This was a part that made no sense at all.

"I want to know which of her characteristics live on within you." He answered. It was strange that neither of us raised our voice while talking.

I couldn't help, but snort at that. "Why does that matter to you after all this time? I mean you almost made sure that nothing lived on in me."

"Oh, I wanted to kill you that night. I had thought that I succeeded finally so I went out to celebrate." He watched me closely for a reaction, but I didn't give him the satisfaction of knowing that his words started to affect me. I schooled my features into indifference.

"That still doesn't answer my question. Why now?" I asked attempting to sound calm.

"Believe it or not I'm changed." I didn't believe a word he was saying. He was the same arrogant and cruel man I had known before, and the only thing that had changed was that now he was sober and in turn could control his rage. "Jail had changed me."

He asked a couple of more unimportant questions which I answered as best I could, and the finally he got to the point.

"Alright. You made good on your promise so I will do the same. You can have my bone marrow." He said, and then stood up and left without another word.

As I was walking out I tried to wrap my mind around the conversation that had just happened. It was definitely not what I had expected. In all honesty I had expected taunting, cruel remarks and insults, but instead I had had the most honest conversation with my father ever. I knew that it was the last time that I had ever talked to him. I had learnt a lot about him during this brief encounter, and I realized that there was no need to be afraid of him or afraid of becoming like him. Despite all his bravado, deep down he was a weak and lost man. My mother's death really cost him everything, and he was still obsessed with her and her memory, maybe even more so now. He no longer had the power to hurt me in any way. I knew that I was stronger than him and I couldn't become like him we were too different for that to happen, and I needed this meeting to realize that. My memory of him was overshadowed by my fear and my feelings of the time, and I couldn't see him clearly.

And now fear wouldn't keep me back from Alice. I had always kept something back from her if not my heart than my feelings or my thoughts because I was afraid of letting her too close and then my emotions would take over and control me. But I shouldn't have worried about that because I realized that I loved Alice, I was completely and honestly in love with her. It wasn't an obsession or a sick clinging to an image like in my father's case. Alice and I knew each other well, all the good and the bad that a relationship can entail. I couldn't wait to see her again and tell her that I loved her.

When I joined Carlisle in the waiting area I didn't know what to say to him, but I managed to smile at him in reassurance when I saw how worried he was. He returned my smile with his own relieved one.

"Come, let's get out of here!" He said and I simply nodded.

This encounter with my father didn't affect me the way I thought it would, but I still needed time to absorb and understand everything including my new realizations. So the car ride back to the hotel was as silent as the ride here. I had an emotionally draining day so as soon as we arrived I fell into a deep sleep.

The next morning I immediately knew that the day before was too much. I could barely sit up in bed and when finally I managed I felt a blinding headache and a wave of dizziness washed over me. And the whole thing was topped of by my nosebleed. Carlisle frowned at the state I was in and gave me some medication and ordered me to lie back in bed. Fortunately our plane left in the afternoon so I had time to recapacitate. However, I wasn't much better and Dr. Cullen had to help me board the plane. He gave me a very powerful sedative so I slept over the entire flight. At the airport I wasn't met with the familiar faces of Alice and grandpa, but an ambulance that rushed me back to the hospital.

The next time I woke up it was Sunday morning and I saw grandpa sleeping in the chair next to my bed. There was a mask on his face. I felt better so I sat up in bed. That little movement caused grandpa to wake up and his eyes flew to my face.

"You are awake!" He cried in relief and without warning he threw his hands around me and hugged me tightly. I heard him say a quite 'Thank God' and he released me. I looked at him in confusion.

"Sorry, son, but you really scared us." He sighed in relief again. "You were unconscious when you were brought in. Dr. Cullen gave you a quick blood transfusion and ran some tests." Grandpa explained.

"Well, I feel better." I said to reassure him.

"You certainly look better." He said softly.

"Where is Alice?" I blurted out. I really wanted to see her.

Grandpa chuckled at my eagerness. "She was here for a long time, but her father ordered her home because she wasn't sleeping and she wouldn't leave your side." I frowned at this, she should rest, too.

Later Dr. Cullen visited me and told me the new rules. There can only be one person in my room at a time and they have to wear a mask. All physical contact was out of the question. Based on my test results I was ready for the treatment to begin. On Monday morning I would be moved to another, sterile room and they would begin the radiation therapy. He told me in detail the side effects of the treatment and the rest of the transplant procedure.

In the afternoon I finally saw my Alice. I was sitting in my bed reading a book when my door opened and there she was. She stopped short in the doorway so I could study her. She looked truly beautiful in a simple pair of jeans and a shirt, she was real.

"Jazzy!" She almost whispered, and started to run toward me. She remembered in time that all physical contact was off the table. She stopped at the foot of my bed and we just stared at each other silently. I saw as her eyes became moist and a quite sob escaped her.

"Alice?" I questioned her. She worried me greatly with her strange behavior. "What's wrong?" I made a move to grab her hand, but she moved out of my reach. I frowned at this.

"Nothing is wrong. I'm just so happy that you are awake again." She answered, but her voice was weak. "I'm sorry that I moved away, but Dad had told me that he wanted to start your treatment as soon as possible, and I don't want to jeopardize that with a thoughtless action." She explained softly.

Well, that certainly explained everything. I heaved an exaggerated sigh and wiped my forehead in mock relief. "Thank God! I thought you were mad at me." I said with a wink to ease her mind.

"Oh, I'm mad at you. You scared me." I was sure she was smiling under the mask.

"I'm sorry." I apologized to her.

"It wasn't your fault, but please, try not to do that again." She pleaded with her eyes, too.

"I will do my best." I promised. "So how are you?"

"I should be the one asking that." She shook her head at me. "But I'm fine now that you are awake." She paused and seemed to be deep in thought. "Oh, imagine I found the perfect gift for Emmett's graduation…" She started to tell me about the gift, the preparations for the party, and she filled me in on the latest gossip regarding our friends. I felt so content just sitting there and listening to her lovely voice recounting fond memories.

"God, I love you." I told her when she finished her tale.

Her eyes moistened again. "I love you, too."

The next day my treatment began. As a result of the drugs and the radiation I had never felt worse in my life: I felt fatigued although that was hardy a new development, however, the constant feeling of nauseous and the resulting vomiting was quite another subject. I had spent my 18th birthday with my head in the toilet vomiting my guts out. _Happy birthday to me! _

* * *

><p>Thanks for all of your reviews. As usual I'm interested in your opinions.<p>

The remaining chapters will be in Alice's point of view._  
><em>


	31. Chapter 31

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

**Warning: adult themes ahead.**

Chapter 31

It was a month ago that Jasper received the bone marrow transplant and today he was released from the hospital. He was very happy about going home even though he would have to come back to the hospital once a week for check-ups and blood transfusion if necessary. His time in the hospital was so hard for me – maybe the worst time in my life – and I didn't think that I would have been able to cope with it without Edward's help. Everyone was great and helpful, but only Edward understood me perfectly and his constant support meant the world to me. I also became close with Mr. Jackson during our frequent meetings in the hospital, so much so that he had even said that I could call him Herbert. Probably the hardest part was when Dad and Jazz were in Texas and not knowing in what state I would get my Jazzy back. And of course he had to go and scare the living daylight out of me! When Dad called from the plane and said that we shouldn't wait for them at the airport as Jazz was practically unconscious I almost lost it. I had thought that this was it and I had lost Jasper forever. When I saw his limp form on the stretcher only Edward's arms around me kept me upright. But he came back to me…

My Jazzy was still weak and tired most of the time, but I saw some improvements in his condition: he no longer was pale or had dark circles under his eyes. He finally looked healthy. So far it seemed that the transplant was successful, but it will take time to be certain, about six months, but Dad was optimistic. Dad told us that although Jasper was allowed to go home there were certain rules that were still in effect. His white blood cell count was low so we had to be careful about infections. It meant that Jasper would spend most of his time at home because he couldn't go out in public, and if he went somewhere or was in the company of others he had to wear a mask. I helped Mr. Jackson clean their entire house in preparation of Jazz's arrival and Mom made them food as she so often did in the last couple of months.

Something had changed in Jasper since his return from Texas. He didn't say much about his talk with his father, he only said that it was different from what he had expected. But he had changed, I couldn't put my finger on it exactly, but somehow he was more open and affectionate toward me. Yes, he had been affectionate earlier, but this was different, it seemed that he wasn't keeping anything from me any more. We had a lot of long and honest conversations where he had shared his deepest thoughts and feelings with me, and I couldn't be happier. I no longer had reason to doubt him, he really and honestly loved me, I was sure of that. When he had wanted to break up with me on that awful day I kept my composure in front of him, but as soon as I arrived home I collapsed, Edward had to take me up to my room. I had been crying in his arms for hours and he had held me close without saying a word. I knew that I was scaring them, but I felt too much anguish to care. I was scared shitless that I was losing Jazz, that he no longer loved me. Edward had assured me that he also thought he was just lashing out at everyone, but the seed of doubt always lingered in my mind. _What if…_ A couple of days later he had apologized and explained his reasons and we made up, but I was still worried. I was afraid that if things got worse again, he would push me away in a misguided attempt to protect me. I didn't really understand that part. If you love someone wouldn't you want and need their support? The initial peace was only restored after his return from Texas and we had an honest conversation. But he could be still silly sometime, for example a few days after his transplant.

_One afternoon as usual I was with my Jazzy. He was sitting up in his bed still weak as a newborn, but he was frowning at me while I told him how I went out with Bella to get her a dress for prom. So I paused in my story. Was I boring him?_

"_What is wrong?" I asked curiously._

"_Do you want to go to the prom, too?" He asked quietly. I didn't immediately understand his meaning._

"_Why do you ask that?" I asked him instead of answering._

_He sighed. "I just know how much you like things like that, you know dressing up and going out, and unfortunately I can't take you. So I thought that if you really want to go you still can go with someone else. I'm sure a lot of boys in school would be happy to go with you." He explained shyly._

_I looked at him like he was crazy. I mean yes I like dances, but there is only one boy with whom I would ever go._

"_Jazzy, sweetie, are you crazy? Do you really think that I would want to go with anybody else?" I asked rhetorically, but he still didn't look convinced. "Besides, now I can make you take me to our senior prom as a punishment for missing this one." I grinned at him triumphantly. This seemed to make the trick, and we dropped the subject._

Jasper was still too sweet, but I loved him just the way he was. While the emotional and spiritual side of our relationship deepened considerably, the physical side was missing completely. I couldn't even remember when the last time was when we kissed let alone made love, and I missed him terribly. Before his treatment we engaged in a couple of forbidden kisses, but that also happened at least a month ago. However, my need for him never faded if it was possible it only grew. _I wanted that sexy boy!_ I didn't know whether it was me or he was just that damn irresistible that I still wanted him when he was pale, skinny and weak as a lamb. Regardless, I blamed him for my crazy libido.

I hated that he had to "celebrate" his 18th birthday in the hospital alone and in a sterile room. But on the bright side I had a perfect gift for him: after long consideration I decided to give him his mother's painting that I bought so long ago. It was the perfect opportunity as I thought he was ready for it, plus it _was_ the perfect gift. And I thought up a great way to give it to him. With Mr. Jackson's help I hung the picture up above his bed right next to the other picture because this way that would be the first thing he sees when he enters the room. Of course I couldn't help it and gave him another, smaller gift on his birthday. I gave him a blue V-necked cashmere sweater that matched his eyes perfectly. I couldn't wait to see him in it. He liked my gift very much and I smiled at the memory of how his eyes widened when I informed him that I had another, mystery gift for him.

When I arrived to the hospital I had to laugh at the picture that was waiting for me. My Jazzy was sitting on his bed in street clothes while he was grinning from ear to ear.

"Hello, darling!" He greeted me, and then put on that awful mask that hid half of his pretty face.

"Hey, you seem to be in a good mood." I commented smiling. _I so wanted to kiss him!_ And so much more…

"I'm going home." He said enthusiastically. He looked like a little kid on Christmas. "I'm only waiting for grandpa and Dr. Cullen to bring my discharge papers and I'm out of here."

I walked up to him and sat down, and as I needed some kind of contact with him I reached for his hand. He squeezed my hand in answer and then winked at me. _He was really excited!_ I borrowed Edward's Volvo and it was settled that I was going to take them home. My main reason for this was that I wanted to be there when he saw his mother's painting hanging on his wall, and plainly I wanted to spend all my time with him.

When we arrived to their house I wound my arms around Jasper's waist helping him making it to the door. His grandfather made himself scarce as he knew about my surprise for Jazzy. I helped him climb the stairs and although it was just the first floor it consumed a lot of his energy.

"Finally, I'm at home!" He sighed, and then stepped into the room. I watched as his eyes took everything in finally settling on the new addition in his room. I heard him inhale sharply. He walked toward his bed like he was in a trance and lightly ran his fingertips along the frame. For a long while he didn't utter any noise, and I grew worried about his prolonged silence. Maybe it wasn't that good of an idea!

"How?" He asked at last.

"I found it on the internet, and I thought that it belonged to you. So here it is…" I trailed off. He turned sharply back to me and continued to stare at me just like he did to the picture. His eyes were alert and they were searching my face. But then he ripped the mask off of his face and in two quick strides he was standing in front of me. He grabbed me by my hips, yanked me impossibly close to him.

"Jazz…" I tried to say in protest, but his lips were crushed to mine quite forcefully. At first his lips were massaging mine in such a sensual way that I thought I was going to pass out from the unexpected pleasure. Our mouth moved in perfect sync until his tongue lightly brushed across my lips before plunging behind them, and I groaned into his mouth when his taste exploded on my tongue. I grabbed a fistful of his hair in reaction which prompted him to take the kiss impossibly deep. We simply devoured each other, but after a while I dimly started to realize that we shouldn't be kissing, his health was too fragile, but I couldn't bring myself to pull away from him. I waited for this kiss for so long. Gradually our frenzy cooled down to a soft rubbing of tongues till with a final sweet swept of his tongue he retreated. We pulled apart breathing heavily and he buried his head into my neck. We stayed in this embrace for a long time.

"Thank you so much." He whispered into my ears. "I love you more than I could ever express."

I pulled back so I could look into those beautiful dark eyes and I sucked in a quick breath at the sight that met me. The love in his eyes was crystal clear and a single tear formed in his eye that slowly ran down his cheek.

"I love you, too." I answered in an emotional voice. And I brushed away that single tear with my thumb using the opportunity to caress his face.

I knew that he must be tired so I intertwined our fingers and led him to sit on his bed. He scooted over so he could rest his back to the head board and tugged me closer to him.

"It's your mystery birthday present." I said quietly, but I had a suspicion that he had already figured it out.

"I know." He said softly. He lifted my chin with his index finger so I would look at him. "You are the best thing that has ever happened to me." He leaned closer to kiss me, but I had to stop him. _Shit_, it physically hurt to stop him, but I had to be considerate of his health.

"Jazz, no. Your health…" I couldn't finish because he pressed those delicious lips of his to mine. That kiss left me flustered.

"Darling, we had waited entirely too much for it." He said, and then winked at me. "Besides, you are what is best for me." I giggled into his side.

We lied there together and after a while I became aware of the fact that my Jazzy was fast asleep. I smiled at his peaceful expression and very carefully I let go of his hand and got up from the bed. I covered him with a blanket and kissed his forehead.

"Sweet dreams, love." I whispered, and then went downstairs to join Mr. Jackson.

Fortunately it was the summer break so I could spend as much time with my Jazzy as I wanted, which meant that we were basically attached at the hips. Actually, we almost put Edward and Bella to shame. For the first couple of weeks I went over to his house because he needed to rest and he had to avoid people. However, as he grew stronger he could come over to my house always in a car; it would take time to use his bike again which didn't sit too well with him. Mostly we hung out in my room talking or listening to some music. In all honesty I was sexually frustrated beyond reason with those little touches and caresses that always left me with wanting more, but I had to keep that in check when I was with him because I knew that he would throw caution to the wind if he knew how much I really wanted him. We had to wait because he was still very susceptible for infections and it was bad enough that we made out so much. _Okay, maybe it wasn't bad at all…_

My and Edward's 18th birthday was fast approaching and Mom asked us if we wanted to throw a big party or just be with the family. If this had happened before I met Jasper, I would have chosen the party without thinking, but now I chose the other option. Family downtime meant I could spend my birthday with my boy and that was all I wanted. Besides, I knew that Edward would prefer that option, too. I helped Mom organize a whole day of festive. I was entitled to help as it was Edward's birthday, too, plus I just loved organizing. It was decided that our friends would come over as soon as they can. I made Jasper promise that he would come over at nine, I figured that would give him enough time to rest. I was secretly very curious about what I would get from my Jazzy. I hoped it would be a picture that he drew as he started up drawing again and he was full of ideas. According to our plan we would exchange gifts when Dad arrived home, and then have a nice dinner together. Mom ordered two different cakes, one with fruits for me, and one chocolate cake for Edward. Emmett was always very happy that we preferred different cakes because he could eat more. And after all the eating we would gather around in the living room and watch a movie that Edward and I would choose. _I could hardy wait for the day to arrive!_

When I woke up on Wednesday morning I was very excited: I was 18 years old today. I was so eager for the day to start. I was going to get presents and a whole day with my Jazzy. _What could be more perfect! _I got up and dressed quickly, and then went downstairs to greet my mom. However, what met me in the kitchen made me stop dead in my tracks. Mom was sitting at the counter talking to Bella – which was in itself very surprising – but what made me stop and stare was my Jazzy standing in front of the stove and it seemed that he was making scrambled eggs.

"What's going on in here?" I blurted out still standing in the doorway. Everybody's head turned to me.

"Good morning, honey!" Mom was the first to greet me. "Happy birthday!"

Bella greeted me in a similar fashion, but I was more interested in what Jasper was doing so I walked up to him. He pushed away the eggs from the stove and turned to me with a breathtaking smile.

"Happy birthday, darling!" He whispered before kissing me senseless in front of everybody in the kitchen. When I could focus again he explained me everything. "Bella and I thought that we would surprise the birthday twins with their favorite breakfast."

As I looked at the plate in his hand I noticed that it was indeed my favorite: scrambled eggs with cream cheese. I smiled at him in thanks.

"So can I eat it or do I have to wait for Edward?" I asked eagerly causing him to smirk at me in a very sexy way. _Oh, my…_

"It's all yours." He said handing me the plate.

As soon as I tasted it I moaned in delight. It was even better than I remembered it.

"It's delicious." I groaned.

Mom giggled lightly. "Jasper, if you keep this up you will ruin Alice for my cooking."

"Sorry, ma'am." Jasper said smiling.

"Do I miss something?" I asked in puzzlement.

"Jasper spiced it up a bit with his unique touch." Bella explained as she moved to the stove to make a lot of pancakes for my brother.

"So do you like it?" Jazz asked while sitting down on the stool next to me.

"It's the best." I said and quickly pecked his lips. "Thank you."

"You are very welcome." He replied softly.

As Dad was working today it was agreed that the real celebration would start when he was at home, too. Plus Rose was due to arrive in the afternoon, too. This gave me the whole morning to be alone with Jazz. We hung out for a little while with everybody else in the living room after breakfast and after Edward had joined us, but I was itching to get Jazz alone in my room. And soon we were off to "rest" a bit, but I knew we fooled no one.

In the privacy of my room I launched myself at Jazz as soon as he closed the door behind himself. I basically attacked his luscious lips with mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck bringing him down to my level and I kissed his face, neck and shoulders with big open mouthed kisses. Finally I settled for burying my face into his chest, breathing him in. I heard his quiet chuckles at my enthusiastic display.

"That was the best surprise ever!" I told him truthfully.

"The day isn't over yet." He replied mysteriously. I cocked an eyebrow at him, but I knew he wouldn't tell me anything more which was fine with me. I loved good surprises!

I excused myself for a minute to brush my teeth and generally to beautify myself a bit. When I looked in the mirror I saw that my hair resembled a haystack, but probably for the first time in my life I didn't care as I was smiling in a goofy way. _I was deliriously happy!_ After I got ready I was all Jasper's. Naturally we ended up on my bed making out like the crazy teenagers we were. One of Jasper's hands was in my hair tugging a little while the other caressed my neck, and he gradually moved his hand lower to my breasts. I was a bit surprised as we usually stopped short at simply making out, but it felt so good that I even encouraged his sensual touch. However, the alarms were ringing in my head when I felt him unbutton my jeans and unzipped my fly. Reluctantly I pulled away from his soft lips.

"What are you doing?" I asked raggedly. It was a dumb question to ask, but he couldn't possibly do what I thought he was doing. I wanted it more than anything, but I knew that realistically he still wasn't up to it.

Jazz chuckled softly. "It really has been a while if you have to ask me that." He said nuzzling my neck while his hand continued his journey.

"Jazzy!" I tried to protest, but it sounded half hearted even to my own ears.

"It's your birthday, darling!" He whispered while nibbling my earlobe. "Let me make you feel good!" I groaned at the tone of his sexy voice.

Who was I to protest? I let him remove my pants and shortly after my panties, and well, the rest of my clothing, too. I lay there before him completely naked and he was running his darkened eyes all over my body. I shivered in pleasure at just the way he was looking at me.

"Fuck, I have forgotten how beautiful you are." He said softly, and then started kissing my collarbone down to my breasts. I groaned embarrassingly loudly when his perfect lips closed over my nipple. Meanwhile he moved his hand to my waiting core and started a sensual rub over my clit. When he oh so slowly pushed two fingers into me I arched my back in pleasure. _Shit, it had been too long!_ I didn't know what to concentrate on his mouth on my breast or his magical fingers inside me moving in a very pleasurable rhythm. But one thing was sure: my orgasm was building with lightning speed. As his movements became faster and deeper my grip in his hair intensified before I threw my head back to the pillow and moaned out long and loud when I finally came with blazing convulsions. He slowed his hand then, and moved back next to me and kissed me while I lay there limp with a goofy expression on my face. That definitely did worth the long wait! However, I wasn't done yet…

When I roused myself I moved closer to him and kissed him passionately. I caressed all over his body, but he pulled away when I cupped his crotch. _Hmmm… he was hard._

"Alice, darling don't…" He started to say, but I interrupted.

"As you pointed it out, it is my birthday." I said, and then lowered my voice. "And I want to taste you." His eyes widened and he let out a sexy moan. That was all the encouragement I needed before I busied myself… When I got him naked, too I paused for a minute to take in the sight in front of me. He started to look like the old and healthy Jasper again. Dad had allowed him to come over once a week and work out with Emmett in our gym, of course only after he made sure that he was up to it. He even supervised the first couple of times. So as a result of his regular workout he looked mighty fine.

Later, when we rejoined my family we tried to act as if nothing had happened in my room, but I had no idea how successful that was. But soon my attention was claimed by the presents. They were so fantastic: I got a beautiful purple summer dress with a daring V-neck and a pair of matching Manolo Blanik shoes from my parents which I adored. I knew that they had an extra gift for us that they would give us privately. When Emmett turned 18 he was also given a considerate amount of money to start his life in college. It was a tradition that ran in our family. Emmett and Rose gave me a spa certificate in one of the best spas in Seattle. Bella got me a gift basket filled with my favorite beauty products while from Edward I got a beautiful necklace that had a flower pendant on it. Edward also received all kinds of gifts: Mom and Dad gave him a very valuable Rolex watch. Emmett and Rose gave him the newest version a computer program that helped him compose music. But I think Edward loved his gift from Jazz the most, although I had no idea what Bella's gift was. He gave my brother a masterpiece: it was a picture – framed and all – about Bella. It was a collage really. In the center there was a very realistic portrait of Bella and all around the central picture there were several other, smaller ones about the two of them together. For many long minutes Edward simply stared at the picture.

"Do you like it?" Bella asked a little shyly while Jazz studied him.

"Like it? I love it. It's absolutely perfect." Edward said once he found his voice. Bella seemed relieved and I was curious as to why she was worried, Jasper made the picture. He must have read the puzzlement on my face because he whispered to me.

"I had a really hard time convincing Bella to be my model for the picture, but I knew that Edward would really like it."

"When did this happen?" I asked in a similar hushed tone.

"She came over to my place for a couple of days." He explained. This gave me hope that I would receive a similar gift.

Although in a different way, but my Jazzy gave me the best present of all and he presented it to me when we were alone.

"And here is my gift." He said and handed me a small black box. When I opened it my breath caught in my throat. Inside was a gorgeous oval shaped jade silver ring with little intricate ornaments around the central stone. _It was beyond beautiful!_ I quickly got it out and that was when I noticed the words engraved inside: _More Than Love_. My eyes filled with tears at this unexpected and sweet gesture. I was still staring at the ring in my hand when I felt his fingers under my chin.

"May I?" He asked so softly. I nodded dumbly as Jasper placed the ring on my finger and kissed my hand just above my new ring before letting it go.

"Thank you so much!" I cried and threw my hands around his neck hugging him close. _I would never let him go!_ When finally I pulled away from him I couldn't help, but tease him a little.

"You know I adore my ring, but in all honesty I was hoping for a picture like Edward's." I said playfully.

"You mean you would like a portrait of Bella?" He smirked. The smart ass.

"Funny." I rolled my eyes at him. "You know what I meant, I picture of you." I admitted quietly.

"You've already had a picture about me." He reminded me. I couldn't argue with that. His Christmas gift was in my top drawer and I looked at it all the time we were apart. "Besides," he continued lightly "I thought you would be more appreciative about a ring that I designed for you."

I looked at him blankly, his words didn't immediately register. Designed? For me?

"You designed it?" I asked dumbly. I guess I was in shock.

"Yes." He answered simply. I looked at my ring again as this new information raised its value at least tenfold. It was the perfect gift.

"How?" I asked. I knew that he didn't leave Forks for quite some time. So how did he design it?

"I have my ways." He said mysteriously with a raised eyebrow. I knew what that look meant, I wasn't going to find out.

Later Mom got really excited and took a bunch of pictures about us: group pictures and photos about just the couples. As I posed with Jazz for yet another picture I realized that this was my first picture with him. I would put it on my nightstand so I could look at his gorgeous face every time before I go to sleep.

* * *

><p>Only one more chapter to go, plus an epilogue, and then the story is over.<p>

As always reviews are welcome.


	32. Chapter 32

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

**Warning: adult themes ahead.**

Chapter 32

The summer break had passed all too quickly for my liking, but before it was over I had the most memorable weekend. At the end of August Mom and Dad helped to move Emmett and Rose into their new apartment in Los Angeles. They were renting a place and Mom helped Rose with the interior design which meant they often went out on shopping trips and of course I was invited, too. This arrangement left me alone with Edward for the weekend, but he had already had plans with Bella so I invited Jasper over to spend the whole weekend with me. We could really use the time alone especially now when Jazzy was almost as healthy as ever. He still needed to go to check-ups, but not so frequently and he was still not allowed to go back to work, but his health steadily improved.

That first night we had spent together after so long was simply magical, we reconnected again physically as well. We decided to have a date night on Friday where we would dress up, but stay in. It was the first time that I could wear my new dress that I got for my birthday with that awesome pair of shoes. It was like getting ready for our first time all over again and yet it was so different. I was very naïve back then thinking that I finally had understood what love was and everything was perfect with Jazz. I remember thinking that our relationship was strong, in retrospect I could see how stupid I had been. Jasper started feeling ill around that time and he was keeping it from me, yet I was smiling and generally being happy about our strong and steady relationship. But that didn't even come close to what we had now. Since then I went over hell, but came back stronger than ever and more importantly with Jazz by my side. I could have lost him to that deadly disease, but he was here with me, and that experience taught me to appreciate every minute that I had with him. We had to fight hard for what we have now making it all the more valuable.

We had a nice dinner that we made together, working side by side in perfect synch in the kitchen. He had great news to share with me.

"Joe called me last night and he had an interesting piece of news for me." He baited me with a cocked eyebrow. I nodded quickly for him to continue. "Apparently a lady was inquiring whether I made portraits on order."

"A lady?" I asked suspiciously. I had pretty strong feelings about my Jazzy going to some strange woman to make a portrait about her. _Hell no!_

He grinned widely and nodded. "She offered a very generous amount of money, too."

I gulped nervously. _Shit!_ It was a great opportunity for him, but that damned green-eyed monster made an ugly reappearance after a long absence. His musical laugh interrupted my worried thoughts.

"Alice, darling, she is 60 years old and she would like me to make a portrait about her ten-year-old granddaughter." He explained with a teasing glint in his eyes. He threw his arm around my shoulder and squeezed me in reassurance. "God, it's so much fun messing with you!"

I slapped his chest playfully. I could afford being generous after learning the truth about this tempting offer.

And after a very nice and romantic dinner we went to my room because neither of us could wait any more. As soon as we were in my room I launched myself at him throwing my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. He grabbed my ass to hold me firmly and smirked at me before lowering his mouth to mine. Our kiss was slow, deep and sensual. While kissing he moved with me across the room and slowly sat down on my bed all the while keeping the kiss's intensity. I shifted a little so that I was straddling him and in doing so the hem of my dress rode up a bit exposing my tights. He noticed this and he started to run his palms up and down on my tights making me groan with want. Eventually we had to pull apart because at some point we needed to breathe, too.

"You are so beautiful." He panted.

"You, too, sweetie." I whispered. In truth he looked hot as hell in his black dress pants and his grey button down shirt. And speaking of which, I started to undo his buttons one by one placing soft kisses in the wake of my hand. He was moaning loudly and his breathing was heavy. I pushed his shirt over his shoulders and exposed his chest to my hungry eyes. _He looked so perfect with those finely toned muscles of his!_ He had so many workout sessions with Emmett that his body was much more defined than before making him even sexier if that was possible. I ran my fingertips lightly over his scars: first over the big one on his stomach, and then over the place where the medi-port had been. I was delighted when I saw goose bumps erupt all over his exposed skin at my light touch.

I crushed my lips back to his and shifted in his lap to create a small friction. We moaned together. I moved my lips away from his, and placed kisses on his jaw and neck while he moved his hands to my ass under my dress. _It felt so good!_ He used my momentary lapse to lift my dress up and over me. He sucked in a quick breathe, I wasn't wearing a bra.

"What a lovely surprise!" He purred and placed a soft kiss on each of my breasts.

I pushed on his chest so he lay back on my bed. "You are entirely overdressed for the occasion, don't you think?" I said teasingly. I was only in my panties while he still had his pants on.

"And what would you like to do about it?" He asked with a smirk.

"This." I whispered before kissing him again. I let him control the kiss because meanwhile I moved my hands to his pants and made quick work with his buttons. _Um, button flies were sexy!_ I pushed his pants all the way down, and then sit back a little to take in this magnificent sight.

He was lying on my bed in his black boxer briefs, his chest rose and dropped with his heavy breathing. His lips were swollen and red from my attack, and his eyes were almost black with desire. _This was the sexiest sight ever!_

"Come back!" He pleaded softly.

I straddled his hips again placing my dripping core squarely on his erection. He let out a sexy growl at the impact that I echoed. _Jesus, I was turned on beyond reason! _

My Jazzy sensed that he had to take over the control. With me still on his lap he sat up and plunged his tongue behind my unresisting lips. He moved his hands to cup my breasts and he stroked my peaks with his thumbs. I threw my head back in pleasure and arched my back to give him more room. He slowly moved his hands down along my ribs until they encountered the waistband of my panties.

"Lift for me." He growled into my ear and gently bit on my lobe. I moaned and did as he asked. My wet sex was quickly exposed to the cool air of the room and I hissed in reaction. But the cool was swiftly replaced by his warm hand as he cupped me.

"You are so wet." He groaned.

"Because… I want… you." I managed to pant out as his finger found my throbbing clit.

"Fuck!" He swore under his breath. And he pushed two fingers into me harder than I had expected and it made me cry out in pleasure. His fingers moved quickly and roughly and I loved every minute of this new experience. He had never lost control like this before, he had always been very cautious and in control so as not to hurt me. _Rough Jasper was hot as fuck!_

In no time at all I came hard on his fingers, and his movements slowed and gentled helping me ride out my orgasm. When I came back to my senses I felt his hardness pressing against my naked sex and my need for him returned tenfold. What could I say? I was that horny.

"I want you inside!" I said aggressively and yanked his mouth to mine.

I pushed his chest back and when he was lying flat on his back I quickly removed the last piece of clothing that kept us apart. With the last barrier removed I moved back to position. He grabbed my hips and helped me lower myself on his hard cock. We moaned simultaneously as finally he was inside me.

"You feel so good." He groaned.

"God, you, too." I replied as I started moving my hips.

I was quite happy with this position as I was in control of our pace, but somehow I needed more. We were so attuned that my Jazzy sensed my need. He grabbed my hips tightly and in an impressive move he quickly sat up and wound his arms around me. I moaned loudly at the new angle and at the added pleasure of skin on skin contact. Our chests were flush against each other and Jazz guided me along his shaft at a sensual pace. He was so right! This was what I needed, the closeness, the feeling of connection to him in the most basic way. With this realization that was combined with the sensual rubbing of his hands all over my body and the feeling of him inside me sure and hard, it took me no time at all to come again.

I grabbed his face and lifted it away from my neck where he was placing open mouthed kisses. "Look at me!" I managed to pant out amidst the pleasures. I wanted to look into his eyes when I came, I needed to see those fathomless eyes that I loved so much. When he lifted his eyes to mine I came harder than ever.

"Jazz!" I cried out finally arching my back as that incredible feeling of love and pleasure coursed through my entire body. Moments later my Jazzy followed me into oblivion.

When I was able to move my limbs again I threw my hands over his neck and nuzzled my face into his neck.

"I love you." I said placing a kiss on his pulse point.

"I love you, too, darling." As he said it his hands tightened around me.

Eventually we had to pull apart, but it was just the beginning for us. It felt like that we had made love all night after that.

The next morning I woke up with a shit eating grin on my face. I was lying on my side with Jazzy spooning me from behind. Now that an illness wasn't interfering with his sleeping I found that he wasn't an early raiser. In fact he quite enjoyed sleeping in. I had to smile at this because it gave me the opportunity to surprise him with breakfast in bed. Not that he was big on breakfasts, but it was the thought that counted. So I carefully lifted his arm away from my stomach and scooted to the very edge of the bed. I went over my dresser and put on panties, and then grabbed his discarded shirt from last night and put it on. I giggled lightly at the fact that it seemed so huge on my small frame, but I didn't care it smelled like him. I looked over at his peacefully sleeping form. He was so adorable snuggling into my pillow. I forced myself to look away because if I didn't we wouldn't eat breakfast, and we both needed energy…

I skipped down the stairs and went to the kitchen. I switched on the coffee-maker while I was waiting for that I busied myself with looking for a pop-tart. I grabbed a cherry flavored for him and an apple flavored one for myself. This time I didn't have to worry about Edward coming home, – Charlie was spending his weekend with his friends at La Push – he was staying at Bella's.

When I went back to my room Jazzy was still asleep. I put the tray that was holding the pop-tarts and his cup of coffee on my nightstand and sat down on the edge of my bed. I brushed a stubborn lock of his hair away from his face so I could look at his beauty. With my fingertips I caressed his temple, and then his cheek while I ran my thumb across his soft lips. I giggled when he placed a small kiss on my thumb.

"What a lovely way to be woken up!" He murmured sleepily.

"You aren't mad, are you?" I asked a bit nervously. He opened his eyes to look at me.

"Of course I am not." He said. "I see you brought me coffee." He teased me playfully as he glanced at my nightstand.

"And a pop-tart, just to make sure." I replied in the same manner.

"Oh, you spoil me." He said while stretching out with a yawn. My eyes were immediately drawn to his naked chest. _God, he was beautiful!_

"Hey, Alice! What are you looking at?" He asked with a smirk and he wiggled his eyebrows playfully. I laughed at his ridiculous antics and playfully swatted his chest. However, he grabbed my hand and yanked me down to him.

"Good morning!" He mumbled before kissing me lightly on the lips. When we pulled apart he cocked a questioning eyebrow at me. "What the hell are you wearing?" I watched as his eyes widened, and then darkened with lust as realization hit him. I shivered in reaction to his lustful gaze.

"Do you like it?" I asked while battling my eyelashes.

"Fuck, yeah!" He cried enthusiastically before stealing another kiss. "You look very sexy in my clothes." He drawled sexily.

"Is that so?" I asked a little breathlessly.

"Definitely." He grinned and then yanked me back against his chest. After that we continued what we had begun the previous night.

I guess it was way after noon when we finally left my bed. After we dressed up, and shared a shower, we went for a quick walk in the surrounding area as it was a beautiful sunny day. I was so in love with my Jazzy that I was practically vibrating with it! When we returned to the house we plopped down on the loveseat and snuggled up together. Later I suggested that we should change into our pajamas – I didn't have illusions of them remaining on us for long – and have a movie marathon. I enjoyed every little detail of our weekend. It was like Jazzy and I were the only people in the entire world and we were basked in happiness in our little bubble.

That weekend became one of my most treasured memories. However, soon school started again and it was our senior year. I had mixed feelings about the last year of high school. On the one hand, it was great to finish school as I wasn't particularly fond of it, but on the other hand the whole wide world was waiting for us. Life with a capital "L". And I had no idea what the future was holding for us, especially for me and Jazz. The house was eerie quiet without Emmett's booming laughter and heavy footsteps. Mom made him promise that he would call at least once a week; she was very worried about her baby starting a new life in the sunny California. I couldn't even imagine her reaction when Edward and I leave for college, but I guess she would be pleased with the fact that we would be together.

For the first couple of weeks Jasper had to go back to the hospital for check-ups again as it was the first time that he was in the company of so many people. Although his results were good, Dad still didn't let him go back to work, and when he would go back he would have to take everything gradually. I can tell you he didn't like this one bit. I was happy though because this meant his afternoons were free for me. It was hard to get used to school again and not being with Jasper all the time although we still had every class together. Jazz was still seeing Dr. Simmons, but not as frequently as before. There only left some lingering issues and insecurities that they needed to work on, but mostly he felt well and in control of his emotions.

As the time for college applications grew nearer and nearer I got anxious. I knew exactly where I wanted to go because my heart was set on the New York School of Design. I had made that decision a very long time ago. Edward had told me that he was able to convince Bella to join us in New York as she would apply to the University of New York to study creative writing. At first I was really surprised at her willingness to leave her father behind, but later she explained her decision to me privately. Ironically, it was Jasper's illness that got her to give in to my brother. Bella said that Jazz's near death experience showed her how short life really was and she wanted to spend every important minute of it with Edward. Charlie was okay with her decision as he always wanted what was best for Bella, and it was clear as day that Bella and Edward belonged together.

However, I had no idea about Jasper's decision. I avoided the topic like the plague. I was so happy with him, and I wanted to keep reality out as long as possible. I know I was a coward in doing this, but I didn't feel ready to have that important conversation with Jazz. He seemed to sense my hesitance so he went along with my little avoidance game. As he couldn't take summer classes due to his condition he had made a special deal with Mr. Tomzynski. He was qualified to give art classes and he was determined to help Jasper. So in every month Jasper spent a Sunday in Seattle taking classes from him that would be accepted as formal training, and he also offered to write a recommendation letter for Jazz's application. It was fantastic news and a great opportunity for him, but the real question was where he would apply. Seattle or maybe some place else? I quickly pushed that thought aside, there was no use of giving myself false hope with this kind of thoughts. I felt frustrated with my inability to confront the situation, but I really didn't want to loose him. Even the very idea of starting college in the fall without Jasper gripped my heart tightly and intense pain ran over my entire being. However, I was successful in avoiding the topic till almost the arrival of the admission letters.

As it always happened the time came when we no longer could avoid the talk. It happened on a Saturday morning when Jazz was hanging out in my room. He was sitting at my desk checking his emails while I was lying on my bed deep in thought. I was wondering how to broach the subject or whether I should broach it at all. His voice broke through my concentration.

"You seem troubled again." He simply stated. Instead of answering I sighed deeply and looked at him. I tried to memorize his features to last me forever with his gorgeous face because I knew that this conversation would change everything.

"Can't you tell me what is bothering you?" He asked with a cocked eyebrow.

I sighed again, but got up and went to sit on my sofa just to be a bit closer to him.

"I'm worried about college." I started in a sad voice.

"Are you worried about getting in?" He asked with a smile. "Because I've seen your application and I'm sure that New York would wait for you with open arms." His support and trust was so important, and it was a heady feeling. _If only that was my only concern!_ Of course he knew where I wanted to go, and lately he even tried talking about college plans, but I always backed out at the last minute. It became a bad habit, I guess.

"No. I'm more worried about you." I said on the verge of tears. I couldn't help it, I didn't want this conversation.

He frowned. "Tell me what exactly you are worried about." He said calmly.

I looked at him curiously. He didn't seem sad or upset at our parting which worried me even more. Didn't he care? What was he playing at?

"Why do you have to make me say it?" I asked in a small voice while my tears started to run down my cheeks. Suddenly he was kneeling in front of me brushing my tears away.

"Because I need to hear it from you." He whispered before kissing me lightly on the lips. It was pure torture: his sweet gestures amidst this horrible conversation.

I looked deeply into his dark eyes and confessed my deepest fear. "I'm afraid that we would end up on opposite parts of the country. I'm afraid of losing you…" I trailed off. My crying made me unable to continue. Jasper moved to hold me then, and he waited for me to calm down.

When I was more or less composed I turned my attention to his explanation.

"I have thought that I made it clear that you are the most important thing in my life. That I can't live without you." He said softly.

My breath caught in my throat at his heartfelt confession, but still I barely dared hope. "What are you saying?" I asked breathlessly.

"I'm saying that if you are going to New York than I'm going with you. I don't want to be apart from you. I'm done being foolish. I've got you now and I intend to keep you until the day you order me away." He told me with a gentle smile.

"Never." I cried instantly, I would keep him forever. But I had to ask. "Are you sure?" I needed to know that it was really what he wanted and that I didn't pressure him in any way.

"Absolutely." He said with conviction. "I love you."

I threw my hands over his neck and kissed every available space on his face and neck. "I love you, too." I whispered before crushing my mouth to his. He almost instantly opened his lips to me feeling my need to taste me. Our tongue dueled in a passionate dance while I weaved my fingers through his thick hair. I needed him even closer, impossibly close. After the emotional rollercoaster of the last few minutes I needed this kiss to reassure me that it was true, I wasn't dreaming and he really and truly wanted to come with me. We only pulled apart when breathing became absolutely necessary.

"Jazz." I whispered looking at him. He was caressing my cheeks and neck.

"I will never let you go!" I vowed, and then I wrapped my arms around his waist and snuggled up to his chest. We were sitting like this for an immeasurable time feeling utterly content. Until a disturbing thought had occurred to me, and I frowned.

"What is wrong now?" He asked a smile evident in his voice. He must have been watching my face to notice my displeasure.

"What about your grandfather?" I asked cautiously. "I know how much he means to you."

"When the topic of college applications first occurred I had a very long talk with grandpa." He said moving back a little so I could look into his eyes while he was talking. "He had told me that while he appreciated my willingness to stay closer to him, he didn't want to stop me in pursuing my dreams. He had said that he knew that what I really wanted was to be with you, and he really understood my reasons. So basically he let me go." He finished with a sigh. While I was insanely happy about this turn of events, I knew that it was still hard for him to leave his grandfather even with his blessing.

"So New York?" I asked him beaming.

He grinned back at me. "Yes, New York. And I have a confession to make." He paused for a minute. "I have another reason to choose New York."

My curiosity was immediately peaked, and I felt relief that I wasn't the only factor in his decision. It relieved my guilt a bit.

"What?" I asked eagerly.

"As you may know on the exhibition last April there were many people who were interested in my work." He jokingly referred to that old lady who adored my Jazzy and his work, and her offer was really generous. I nodded eagerly to him to continue. "When I first met Joe after my illness he told me that there was a certain Mr. Timothy Willows who was constantly asking about me and my work. Well, this Mr. Willows is a teacher at NYU, at the Institute of Fine Arts and he expressed his wish of seeing me among his students in September. Based on my work I was a candidate for full tuition." I looked at him in awe trying to take in everything he had just said. I always knew that his talent would take him a long way, and I was right.

"I'm so proud of you." I told him sincerely.

"Thank you." He said with a smile.

After this conversation I was actually looking forward to the arrival of the admission letters which finally happened on a rare sunny Friday. There was great excitement in our house because Edward was accepted to Julliard and I was accepted to that designer school. Our future seemed bright although Mom was an emotional mess mumbling about losing her babies. I eagerly called Jazz to hear his news.

"Jazzy!" I practically screamed at him when he answered his phone. "I got in! I got in!" I chanted happily.

His deep laugh rang out on the other side of the line. "Congratulations, darling!"

"What about you? Did you get in?" I asked eagerly.

"Hmm…" He hummed to prolong the answer. I knew he was doing it to tease me, but damnit. I was going insane here! "Yes, I got in." He finally said. I squealed loudly at this excellent news.

"And?" I continued excitedly. I was asking about the grants that he had applied for.

"And I got the one that covered the full tuition." He said proudly. After this I had thought that I would burst with happiness.

I will have a future with my Jazzy! I knew that realistically there was a chance that a relapse would occur in his condition, but I had a very strong feeling that everything would work out just fine. I indeed had a bright future to look forward to. I would move to the greatest city in the world with the sweetest and most beautiful boy in the world.

Watch out New York because here we come!

THE END

* * *

><p>So next the epilogue is up and my story is truly over.<p>

However, I plan on writing a couple of outtakes from Jasper's point of view (like their first meeting). If you would like to read something from his POV, let me know. I can't guarantee that I'll write all of your choices, but I'll do my best.

Thank you all for reading and reviewing my story.

P.S. I also have an idea of a one-shot that I will post soon.


	33. Epilogue

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Epilogue

We moved to New York and started our new life five years ago. That summer before college began was spent with all kinds of preparation as we had to find a place to live and to organize our move to the other side of the country. Mom and I found a perfect apartment that was very close to campus. It was big enough for four people, but for the first semester only the three of us lived there. The apartment was on the fifth floor. It was a two-bedroom apartment with a living room, kitchen and bathroom. The rooms were quite big, they easily housed two people. My only problem with my room was that I didn't have a walk-in closet and I had to keep my clothes in armoires and chest of drawers. I had made a mental note that when I would be looking for my own apartment a walk-in closet would be on my must have list.

Jasper didn't feel very comfortable with what he termed as "Edward and my" apartment and I wasn't at all surprised at his refusal to move in with us. At first even Bella seemed adamant about moving into our place, but Edward dazzled her into acceptance. I tried the same with my Jazzy, but his infamous stubbornness made an appearance so I had to back off in order to preserve the peace. I couldn't say I was pleased with the arrangement that I was living with Bella and Edward while Jasper lived quite far from us in a dorm room. But fortunately for me his room mate at the dorm was a total asshole, and he and Jasper didn't get on at all. My Jazzy stood it for six months before deciding that it wasn't worth it and finally moved in with me. Of course I was smug and said a couple of 'told you so's, but putting that aside I had been very happy about his move.

I enjoyed every minute of living with Jazz. He was there every time I woke up and every time I went to sleep. Our living together was really the best arrangement as during the weekdays we didn't see each other too much. We had classes in separate parts of the city and Jasper had a new work place. He didn't have to work again as a waiter because that teacher of his who had been so interested in him after his exhibition offered him a job in a gallery. He worked as an attendant and he absolutely loved his new job. Among its perks was that the gallery was closed on weekends which meant that I had Jasper all to myself for two whole days of a week. We had often made plans for the weekend, just the two of us.

I had loved my new school very much as finally I was learning stuff that I was really interested in. We had learnt every aspect of fashion and design from fabrics and patterns to history and trends. I made a couple of new friends as well, and I remember quite clearly when they had first met Jasper. Jazz had thought it would be nice if he visited me on my campus for a lovely lunch together. I really loved his surprise, but I was very displeased with my new classmates. They were ogling my man like they had never seen a man before. I mean I could understand as I knew how gorgeous Jazz was, but he was mine. Jazz was his usual polite and charming self that didn't help their staring and wondering one bit. Of course when Jasper had left they were gushing about how hot he was and how lucky I was to have him, and whether he had a brother. That day I learnt that Seth, who was my project partner, was gay. We became quite good friends actually, even though he had developed a major crush on Jazzy. And when he had met Edward, too, I thought the poor guy was going to have a heart attack.

When all of us had finished school real life started for us. Bella and Edward moved together in an apartment, and started working. Bella got a job at a publishing house as an editor. It was like her dream came true: she was paid for reading. Edward turned out to be a very talented composer and after graduation he got an offer from one of theatres on Broadway to be their musical director. Needless to say he happily accepted it. Jasper and I lived in our old place for a little longer, but recently we had found our dream apartment. It was a huge studio apartment in the heart of the city. It had a vast living area and huge windows. Right next to the entrance there was a staircase that led up to the "second floor" where we furnished our bedroom. I was pleased to note that there was an en suite bathroom there and after some inquiry I learnt that I could have a walk-in closet built in. I was over the moon! Below our bedroom we furnished a well-equipped kitchen that admittedly Jasper had spent more time in. But the best part was the living area. We had a lot of shelves to hold my collection of DVDs and Jasper's collection of books. We had two very comfortable armchairs and a sofa as well as the usual stuff of coffee table and a flat screened TV. On my insistence our walls were decorated with my Jazzy's paintings and creations, his only request was that we should hang his favorite painting of his mother's to a prominent place. In front of the huge windows stood Jasper's easels, all three of them, and my designing table. So it was easy for both of us to work from home.

I had my own small business that I founded together with a couple of my friends and classmates. And of course Mom and Dad helped me with a little extra to launch my own business. We made unique or personalized clothes at the place so it was a store and a workshop in one. Soon we became quite popular and the business was taking off.

During his college years Jasper became a minor celebrity as a result of the success of his exhibitions. At first his works appeared together with his other classmates, but his talent was so exceptional that soon he was offered to have his own exhibitions. There were even a couple of newspaper articles about him and his work. After graduation he became a free lance artist who worked for different galleries at different times. He either worked at the given gallery or at home and when he chose to work from home I did the same just to be with him. He was never short of work as besides the galleries there were a lot of wealthy people who wanted Jasper to draw paintings for them. As a result he was earning quite the amount of money and he was very pleased with that. As soon as he could he repaid my dad the money for their trip, but later Dad had confessed that he put the money in a bank account that they had opened as a wedding found for me if we decided to get married.

Our relationship changed much during the years, but fortunately in the good way. I'm not saying that every day was about rainbows and puppies, we had our share of arguments and disagreements, but we could always compromise and make up. I really liked the place where our relationship had developed as I could depict the slightest change in Jazz's mood or read the minor expressions on his face. Our sex life was still great. I still couldn't believe how wonderful a lover my Jazzy is. We tried all kinds of things, but the most memorable time for me was my 21st birthday because as a present Jazz made my long time fantasy about him being a sexy pirate come true. It's safe to say that he didn't disappoint, that night was one of the most wonderful and pleasurable nights of my life. My gift for his 21st birthday was different as we went on a Civil War tour in Virginia to see all the sights and memorials. I clearly remember his face during our week long celebration: his face was lit up and his beautiful eyes sparkled like I had never seen before. And of course our nights were passionate and wild…

Physically Jasper was healthy without any sign of a relapse and he had a yearly appointment with Dad for check-ups. And we had already known what signs we were looking for in case of a relapse. However, his mental health was an entirely different story. He had thought that he had dealt with all of his issues before he left for New York, but during college it turned out that he had been wrong. He suffered from periodical depression for which he needed to see a psychologist. He had asked for Dr. Simmons help in finding a new doctor in New York and she had referred him to one of her friends who turned out to be quite helpful for my Jazzy. He didn't have a regular appointment with his new doctor; he only went when he had felt that he needed it. It mostly happened after his trips to Texas. Every year he went back to Texas for a couple of days to visit his mother's grave. And last year he asked me to accompany him because as he had said he wanted to introduce me to his mother. It was a very emotional experience.

That morning I woke up smiling thinking about the previous night, how loving and passionate my Jazzy had been. And how talented his tongue was… _Hmmm…_ thinking of that I reached toward him to get another sample of his deliciousness, but my hand only encountered the cold sheets. I opened my eyes, but I couldn't see him anywhere. It rarely happened that he woke up before me. I got up and put on some panties and a T-shirt that I stole from Jazz and went to look for my boy. After I slightly bended over the banister to check the living room and the kitchen without any success I looked over to the en suite bathroom and the door was locked. After a couple of minutes I heard the water running and I had to smile at the idea of sharing a shower with him.

Without knocking I slowly opened the door of the bathroom and I saw my Jazzy standing in front of the sink in a pair of boxer briefs that hung low on his hips. His chest was bare and his chin and jaw was covered with shaving foam.

"Hey!" I said as I walked up to him.

"Hello, darling!" He smiled at me while I walked up to him and climbed on the sink so I could face him.

"I thought that was my job." I said playfully while I took away the razor from him. Once he had allowed me to shave him, and I enjoyed it so much that I made him promise to let me do it often.

He smirked at me. "It's all yours." He said and stepped between my legs.

"I know." I said firmly and a bit possessively.

He rested his hands on my bare tights while I ran the razor carefully all over his gorgeous face.

"How come you are awake so early?" I asked him curiously. I knew I shouldn't have felt that way, but every time he couldn't sleep or woke up early I was so worried that the hell would start over. I knew I was driving him crazy with that, but I couldn't help it.

He sighed at my worrying. "I thought you wanted to set out early." He said.

I had to grin at this. Today was Bella and Edward's engagement party which I had organized and I had a couple of last minute arrangement to check in which I needed Jasper's help. My dear brother didn't waste any time in proposing to Bella. He had decided to propose during college, but I was able to persuade him to wait until we graduated. It had been difficult to choose a ring, and I naturally helped him, but he was surprisingly picky about it stating that none of the rings he had seen would fit his Bella. That gave me an idea. I was still wearing every day the ring that my Jazzy designed for me so I suggested to Edward that he should ask for his help. So Edward had told Jazz what he wanted Bella's ring to be like, and together they designed it. Then we went to a chic place where they made custom-made rings. That was how the perfect ring had born and Bella had cried at the beauty of it. She had said yes, of course.

"I did, but I wouldn't have minded a little delay in the bedroom." I said while wiggling my eyebrows at him.

"Is that so?" He asked with a devilish smile and he started to rub my tights with his thumbs.

"You should be careful with that." I nodded slightly toward his hands. "I have a razor in my hand so I shouldn't loose focus."

"I trust you." He said simply. "Besides, I know you wouldn't ruin my pretty face." He joked lightly. He knew how much I loved his face, well, among other things.

When I finished shaving him and applying that deliciously smelling aftershave of his, I kissed him passionately and yanked him in the shower with me.

Bella had wanted a small engagement party and I abided with her wishes otherwise Edward would have killed me. So the party was just for a small circle of family and friends. Everybody from our and Bella's family came to New York for this occasion. Unfortunately, Jasper's grandfather couldn't make it due to his health, but my Jazzy made plans to visit him soon. Emmett and Rose started their life in Los Angeles after graduation so we met relatively few times, but we spoke over the phone almost daily. They had already been here in New York to visit us, and we had been in their place, too. After graduation Emmett started to work as sport management marketer and his job was to negotiate contract between college or professional sports team and sponsors. He absolutely loved his job and he earned good money with it. Despite her arguments with her father, Rose chose the path to become a car designer and she became quite successful in it.

I was in for a long day. The party was held at Bella and Edward's favorite restaurant, the same place where Edward had proposed. It's a lovely Italian place with live music, a dance floor and a romantic atmosphere. After Jazz and I got ready we headed over the restaurant on his new bike. Recently he had purchased a bike that he said he had coveted for a long while. I didn't complain as during our years together I got used to riding on a bike and I came to really enjoy it, plus in New York it was a very advantageous means of transport. In the restaurant I had to check on the menu, the table arrangements and the placements of the gifts. _Bella is going to freak out! _As I was giving orders to the waiters and the planning and decorating stuff I noticed that Jasper was smirking at me.

"What are you smirking at?" I asked as I walked up to him.

"You." He simply said while his smirk grew.

"Specifically?" I was getting very curious.

"I was thinking how your ordering people scared the shit out of them." He leaned closer to me and whispered the last part. "And how your ordering was sexy as fuck. Hmmm… I like when you order _me_ around…" He trailed off biting my earlobe.

"Jazz!" I tried to sound stern as we were in a public place, but as usual his closeness affected me in a different way and it came out more like moaning.

"Yes, darling." He drawled in that unbelievably sexy accent of his. If he keeps this up, I couldn't be held responsible for my actions.

I lightly pushed at his chest. "You don't play fair" I pouted.

"Never said I did." He said, and then kissed me making me forget where we were. The loud noise of someone clearing their throat burst my happy bubble, and I didn't know which were more annoying being interrupted or being seduced in a public place. So with a last warning look to Jasper I went back to organizing the party.

When I was satisfied with everything at the restaurant we headed over to Bella and Edward's place. I needed to help her get ready which could take hours if I knew anything about her protests and vetoes. In a weak moment I agreed that Bella could veto anything that she deemed too much, unnecessary or simply she didn't like. Plus I needed to get rid of Edward and that's when Jasper was coming in. I left him with clear instruction on their clothes and on their arrival.

"Yes, ma'am." He answered teasingly. _Oh, so he wanted to continue his earlier game!_ We will see how he liked to be teased this evening. As I was planning my revenge I had a suspicion that it wouldn't work out quite as I would want. But the important part was that I would be with my Jazzy.

Yesterday I brought our dresses over here because I knew that we would get ready together. I designed both of our dresses, I made a couple of sketches about how I imagined Bella's wedding dress, but I wouldn't force it on her. Maybe she would like something entirely different. Her dress for the party was a midnight blue satin cocktail dress with a bust that flared out into a light full skirt, and it also showed intricate floral embroidery to the side and hem for a feminine finish. A contrast satin trim to the bust and straps added only a little cleavage. Bella really liked the dress so we would only argue about the shoes. I ordered Bella into the bathroom to take a shower while I laid out our dresses on her bed. My dress was different from Bella's as it was emerald green – just to make Jasper drool – and it reached a little above my knees with a ruffled hem line. The dress was form fitting and strapless with a little flower ornament on my bosom.

"Okay, I'm ready to be beautified." Bella announced resolutely as she walked out of her bathroom.

"Oh, you know you like it." I teased her lightly. She was dressed in a fluffy dressing gown so I handed over a pair of underwear and a strapless bra. Surprisingly she put them on without comment.

"What? No horrified expression or complaints?" I asked grinning. "You are learning." I said and patted her head lightly. She struck her tongue at me in retaliation.

"Okay, sit down." I gestured to her vanity where I prepared my makeup kit and the hair curler to make soft curls into her long hair. While I was making her hair we talked about the party.

"I still can't believe I'm engaged." She said with a soft sigh.

"I'm not surprised knowing my brother so well." I winked at her through the mirror.

She giggled lightly. "Yeah, I guess he is pretty serious about this kind of stuff." She said thoughtfully, and then asked me. "What about you?"

"What do you mean?" I asked in puzzlement.

"What about you and Jazz? Are you as serious about marriage as Edward?" She asked curiously.

"It's different with us." I said softly.

Bella misunderstood my tone. "I didn't mean to pry. I had just thought that you are twins and everything…" I interrupted her ramblings.

"It's okay, you weren't prying. It's just that Jasper and I have never really talked about marriage. I mean we want to be together forever and we are planning our life together, but Jasper has some issues with marriage." I explained.

Bella simply nodded. While the four of us lived together both Edward and Bella learnt a lot of Jasper's past and his issues with his father.

"I know." She said. "But look at us. I had issues with marriage, too and now I'm engaged." She finished with a giggle and I joined in.

"To tell you the truth I'm quite happy like the way we are. Marriage would only be a piece of paper that confirms what I had already known that we belong together." I told her truthfully. I had no idea whether Jasper and I would ever get married, but that wasn't important to me. I simply wanted to be with him forever.

After finishing her hair and put on her face a light layer of makeup. I used just a touch of blue eye shadow, mascara and a little bit of lipstick. I kept it as natural as possible because I wanted to make Bella comfortable. After she had put on the dress as expected we had a huge argument about her shoes.

"Alice! I don't need those high heels. These ballet flats would be great, too." She held out her favorite pair of blue ballet flats.

"But those don't suit your dress. These are much better." I held out my version which was a pair of black T-bar sandals that happened to have slightly higher heels. "Come on, Bella! Be a good girl and put them on!" I ordered.

"No, Alice. I would fall on my ass in them." She protested vehemently.

"You will be particularly attached to Edward during the whole night, and you know he would never let you fall." I threw in my most powerful point.

She thought through what I had just said and reached for the shoes. "As always you won again."

Yep!" I cried happily. "Now I go and get ready, too."

After my shower I put on my makeup that was similar to Bella's the only difference was that I used emerald eye shadow and a touch of blusher. The favorite part of my outfit was my shoe that was a surprise gift from my ever thoughtful boyfriend. The sandal is made from satin with clear crystals in a leaf design and it has open toe, a buckled ankle wrap, and leather lining with black lace superimpose. I recalled as he presented it to me a week ago.

_I was sitting in the living room watching TV, but mainly I was just waiting for Jazz to arrive home from the gallery. I must have dozed off because the next thing I remembered was a light caress on my temple, cheek and jaws soon followed by the softest pair of lips._

"_Jazz." I moaned._

"_Yes, it's me, and not your secret lover." He teased._

_I opened my eyes to take in his gorgeous face. I reached out to cup his face. "I know. My secret boyfriend and I only meet on Thursdays." I said playfully._

"_Touché!" He grinned back, and then changed the subject. "I have a surprise for you." He announced happily._

_I arched an eyebrow at him, but in reality I was very curious. "What is it?" _

_He reached behind himself and presented a box to me. At his encouraging nod I tore away the wrapper enthusiastically. As I stared into the box my breath caught in my throat, inside was the most beautiful pair of shoes I had ever seen._

"_So do you like it?" He asked when I hadn't said anything for a long time._

"_It's absolutely gorgeous!" I cried and threw my hands around his neck. "I love it. Thank you." To express my gratitude I kissed him with everything I had making him moan in the process. When we pulled apart I had to ask._

"_So what's the occasion?" I ran my hand through his hair and he leaned into my touch._

"_Nothing. On my way home I noticed the shoes in a shop window, and I thought it belonged to you." He simply explained. I smiled at his sweetness. That was the first night I had ever worn that shoe…_

I was smiling at the memory when Bella interrupted my thoughts.

"What are you smiling at?" She asked curiously. I held out my shoes so she could see them. "Wow! They are pretty."

"I know. It was a present from Jazzy." I said smugly.

"It really suits you. I would die in them for sure." She commented again. And then she looked at me with indescribable expression on her face.

"Is everything alright?" I asked her calmly.

"Um… yes. It's just… I would like to ask a favor from you." She finished softly.

"Of course. Anything." I said encouragingly.

She took a deep breath. "I would like you to design my wedding dress."

"Really?" I immediately perked up. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I really love your designs and I knew that only you are capable of designing the perfect wedding dress for me." She answered with a smile. "And I have another thing that I would like to ask. Will you be my maid of honor?"

I was truly touched by her request. "Yes, I would feel honored." I answered and hugged her tightly.

At that moment the doorbell had rung signaling the boys' return. Bella grinned and started to walk out of the bedroom, but I grabbed her hand.

"I'll answer it. I want to keep up the suspense for Edward as long as possible." I told her with a huge smile. She rolled her eyes, but nodded to go ahead.

As soon as I opened the door Edward was scanning the living room for any signs of Bella.

"Where is she?" He asked eagerly. "You didn't do anything to her, right?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Oh, yeah, I tortured your fiancée." I retorted, but I almost burst out laughing at the dreamy expression on his face. We heard Bella's laugh and Edward took off toward the bedroom.

"If you mess up her hair or dress I will kill you!" I shouted to his retreating form.

With Edward out of the picture I could take in the beautiful sight of my boy. _Sweet Jesus! He was shit hot sexy!_ As instructed he was dressed in a pair of grey dress pants with a black button down long sleeved shirt. The first couple of his buttons were undone and his sleeves were slightly turned up, but not high enough to expose his scars.

"You are fucking beautiful, darling!" His voice cut through my ogling.

I smiled at him coyly. "You aren't bad yourself." I burst out laughing as he made a twirl for my benefit. He grinned at me before crushing his lips to mine in a searing kiss. I would happily stay there and kiss him all day long, but we had a party to attend. So I reluctantly pulled away from him.

"We have to go." I told him softly. He sighed dramatically and nodded.

"Edward! Bella! Come on!" I shouted to them.

When they came out of the room I inspected Bella's appearance and noted that only her lipstick was out of place so I fixed it quickly, and we set out for the restaurant.

At the party I had no more things to do just to relax and enjoy myself. I had a good time chatting with Emmett and Rose, and Mom and Dad, but the best part was that Jasper was holding my hand all night. When I went to get a drink I stopped to look at Bella and Edward. They were dancing on the dance floor and both of them were beaming with happiness. I watched as they moved in perfect synch as a perfectly matched couple and I couldn't help, but think of me and Jazz. I know I'm probably biased, but I think that our relationship is deeper because we had to fight for it, nothing came easy for us, but we dealt with everything together. My thoughts were interrupted when strong arms encircled my waist.

"What are you thinking?" It came in that sexy Southern drawl.

I intertwined our fingers before answering. "I was simply thinking of us, of how long we came to this moment."

I felt him nod against my shoulder and he placed a kiss there. "Dance with me!" He whispered.

"Always."

As Jasper held me close during the dance I sighed contently. I didn't know what the future was holding for us, but about one thing I was absolutely sure of: my Jazzy. I knew that everything would be alright if I was in the strong arms of my soul mate.


End file.
